Almost three weeks ago now, I packed all my earthly possessions into a moving van and left.<\/b><\/p>\n
When I stop to realize how much I left behind, it’s rather overwhelming. <\/p>\n
I left my parents (now a 4 1\/2 hour drive away, as opposed to a 1 1\/2 hour drive away.)<\/p>\n
I left my sister\/roommate (who I’ve lived with for 24 of my 27 years.)<\/p>\n
I left my house (the spacious House of Dreams.)<\/p>\n
I left my church (where I had friendship, accountability, and ministry opportunity.)<\/p>\n
I left my work (both in the sense of leaving the physical location\/company and in the sense of leaving long-term care.)<\/p>\n
I left my friends (the dear friends of all ages who had welcomed me into their lives when I moved to Columbus two years ago.)<\/p>\n
When most people talk of “leaving and cleaving”, they mean it metaphorically.<\/b><\/p>\n
I’m feeling the “leaving” literally.<\/p>\n
And here, in this unfamiliar place where I know no one save one, I’m also feeling the “cleaving” pretty literally.<\/p>\n
I don’t have my sister or my friends or my parents or my accountability here to talk to when I need to get something off of my chest. I have Daniel.<\/p>\n
I don’t have people to hang out with, events to go to, activities to keep me busy. I have Daniel.<\/p>\n
I don’t have my Bible Study girls to cry with, I don’t have K\/Cathy to give me hugs, I don’t have children from church whose hair I can ruffle. I have Daniel.<\/p>\n
Having left nearly everything that characterized my life in Columbus (and even before), I am left cleaving to Daniel.<\/b><\/p>\n
He is the person I can turn to if I’m stressed, if I’m excited, if I’m bored, if I need something done, if I need a hug. He’s the only one here that I can be completely free around.<\/p>\n
Except that I can’t be completely free even with him. Even as I’m experiencing part of the mystery spoken of in Genesis 2:24, there’s a part that is still missing.<\/p>\n
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”<\/p>\n
~Genesis 2:24, KJV<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I am not Daniel’s wife. I am not and cannot now be one flesh with him.<\/b><\/p>\n
Even as I find myself clinging to Daniel practically (where do I go to…), intellectually (what do you think about…), emotionally (here’s what I’m feeling today…), socially (yes, I’ll go to small group with you), and even physically, I am acutely aware that our cleaving–our union–is incomplete.<\/p>\n
Daniel is my fiancee, not my husband. <\/p>\n
As much as I would like to cleave to him physically, that we would be one flesh, I cannot yet do that. <\/p>\n
And so I must leave even Daniel. <\/p>\n
Every night, I leave Daniel. Sometimes early, sometimes late, but every night, I leave. I go home to my room in the basement of a couple who lives nearby. Sometimes I arrive home with new emotions, new thoughts, new desires that I wish I could still share with Daniel. But I have left. I cannot go back until the next morning. I dress myself for bed and pull the covers over my head.<\/p>\n
Having left Daniel, I have now left all.<\/b><\/p>\n
Only One remains to Whom I can cleave.<\/p>\n
So I lay in my bed and pour out my heart, my desire before the King of the Universe. <\/p>\n
I lay in bed and pray for grace, grace to endure the 51 days that remain for us between “cleaving” and “one flesh”.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Almost three weeks ago now, I packed all my earthly possessions into a moving van and left. When I stop to realize how much I left behind, it’s rather overwhelming. I left my parents (now a 4 1\/2 hour drive away, as opposed to a 1 1\/2 hour drive away.) I left my sister\/roommate (who … Read more Leaving and Cleaving<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10669"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10669"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10669\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10674,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10669\/revisions\/10674"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10669"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10669"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10669"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}