Years ago, I started posting almost yearly rants in February–pushback against the yearly “Love Month” I endured in youth group, first as a student, then as a sponsor. <\/p>\n
My first post<\/a> (in 2007) took issue with the message to single teens that “God has a perfect mate out there for you.” <\/strong><\/p>\n I continue to think that promising teens a mate is unwise and anti-Scriptural. God doesn’t<\/i> promise all of us a spouse. But, with a few years under my belt (and a month to go before I marry), I have a new beef with that statement. <\/p>\n There is no such thing as a perfect mate.<\/p>\n Marriage is a union of two sinners, people who even at their best are imperfect and unloving. God may have a spouse for you, but that spouse will not be perfect. Rather, that spouse will be an imperfect agent by which God makes you<\/i> perfect (sanctifies you).<\/p>\n In 2008, I complained<\/a> about the content of my youth group Love Month, and gave a short list of suggestions for talking with singles:<\/strong><\/p>\n My rant was probably over the top–but I think my suggestions are still worth listening to.<\/p>\n In 2010, I had a full blown extravaganza<\/a>, posting daily on “Love” related issues.<\/strong><\/p>\n I wrote extensively about recognizing God’s pursuit of us, about learning contentment in singleness, about living a productive single life. I stand by all those things. The years I have spent as a single woman have been years God has used to conform me into His image. I would not be the woman I am now, or be able to experience the joy that I now experience to the same degree had I not had these years of singleness.<\/p>\n I would add a few words to the advice I’ve given before. <\/p>\n Enthrone Christ.<\/p>\n Marriage should be esteemed. It is a good thing. But Christ is to be esteemed above all. Yes, you may need to dethrone marriage–but, far above that, we all need to enthrone Christ still more and more in our hearts.<\/p>\n I also said a bit about intimacy and dating. Re-reading what I’d written, I have a couple of comments:<\/p>\n Thank you, dear readers, for being patient with my many rants and raves and occasionally reasoned arguments regarding this topic. Thank you for affirming me as a single woman and for praying that God would bring me a husband. God has used you to bless me immeasurably during my season of singleness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Years ago, I started posting almost yearly rants in February–pushback against the yearly “Love Month” I endured in youth group, first as a student, then as a sponsor. My first post (in 2007) took issue with the message to single teens that “God has a perfect mate out there for you.” I continue to think … Read more Love Month Revisited<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[38],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10719"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10719"}],"version-history":[{"count":21,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10719\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10770,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10719\/revisions\/10770"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10719"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10719"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10719"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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\nI am pretty committed to this paradigm. I am amazed as I see how my relationship with Daniel progressed through each of these stages–and how my affection for him grew as we shared first our interests, then our opinions, then our hearts, then finally (and thus far, in a limited way) our bodies with each other.<\/li>\n
\nI gave some general principles for no-regret relationships, which I still believe are sound. Then I gave specific tips for men and for women in relationships. If you will, please allow me to brag a bit on my beloved: Daniel did a fantastic job of leading with wisdom, defining the relationship, guarding my heart, and being chivalrous. I couldn’t ask for a better man to follow–first through our dating season and now as we (shortly) embark on marriage.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n