Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Wondering what on earth I’ve gotten myself into. <\/p>\n
These are the feelings that have been my regular companions over the past week.<\/p>\n
In my lowest times, I’m wishing I could just be done. I want to dissolve onto the floor in tears. I want to shut the door and just be alone.<\/p>\n
This wasn’t supposed to be this hard this soon, I think.<\/p>\n
And then I remember. <\/p>\n
I remember postpartum life, adjusting to a new member of the household.<\/p>\n
The tears, the exhaustion, the overwhelmingness of it all. The “what have I done?” The “can’t I just quit?” <\/p>\n
It has taken me months to settle in to new routines each time I’ve welcomed another baby into the family.<\/p>\n
Why should this be any different?<\/p>\n
Yes, I’m not dealing with postpartum hormones (although, seriously folks, breastfeeding can mean some weird and whacked hormones too!) Yes, I’m not dealing with recovering incisions or tears. But I am adjusting to a new child’s routines. A new child’s cries. I’m adjusting my “old” children to the new child. Adjusting the new child to the “old” ones. <\/p>\n
And unlike my postpartum experiences, this time I’m doing it without outside help. This time, I’m putting the meals on the table three or four times a day. I’m running to this appointment or that every day of the week. And all that with my husband’s car in the shop. <\/p>\n
Calm down, I tell myself. This is normal. Don’t catastrophize. You will settle in. It just takes time.<\/p>\n
And meanwhile, when the house is messy and my hair doesn’t get brushed and I’m throwing yet another round of sandwiches on the table, I can remind myself that God’s grace is sufficient for this season.<\/p>\n
His power is made perfect in weakness.<\/p>\n
When I dissolve on the floor in tears, he lifts my head and gives strength to go on. <\/p>\n
And one day, four children will be easier and there will be a new challenge to remind me to lean on his grace. <\/p>\n
For now, though, this is normal and this is right.<\/p>\n
Desperately dependent on him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Wondering what on earth I’ve gotten myself into. These are the feelings that have been my regular companions over the past week. In my lowest times, I’m wishing I could just be done. I want to dissolve onto the floor in tears. I want to shut the door and just be alone. This … Read more This is normal<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[1620],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18603"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18603"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18603\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18604,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18603\/revisions\/18604"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18603"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18603"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18603"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}