{"id":19786,"date":"2019-06-11T16:04:16","date_gmt":"2019-06-11T21:04:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/?p=19786"},"modified":"2019-06-11T16:08:51","modified_gmt":"2019-06-11T21:08:51","slug":"it-has-changed-me-and-i-wouldnt-change-a-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/2019\/20190611-19786.htm","title":{"rendered":"It’s changed me – and I wouldn’t change a thing"},"content":{"rendered":"

I once read an article about how the experience of infertility changes the experience of motherhood<\/a>.<\/p>\n

As a mother of two preemies, one “post-dates” baby, and three foster children (one at a time) – and as a woman who has now experienced miscarriage – I have to say that this too changes the experience of motherhood.<\/p>\n

I thank God almost every day for each additional day each of my children got in the womb. For almost a month for Tirzah Mae after my blood pressure went high. For two additional weeks in the womb for Louis (compared to Tirzah Mae). For a staggering 8 additional weeks in the womb for Beth-Ellen (compared to Louis). I thank God for the things we could have experienced but didn’t in the NICU, for the things we could have experienced but didn’t regarding our children’s development.<\/p>\n

And more and more, I thank God that I experienced two c-sections, that I have had rough pregnancies and rough postpartums, that I had children who didn’t sleep, that I have had to say goodbye to three children. Because each of those children have simultaneously been an evidence of grace (EOG) and an agent of sanctification (AOS). <\/p>\n

I wouldn’t change a thing, even on the days when I’m singing my newest song:<\/p>\n

(to the tune of “You are the Sunshine of My Life” by Stevie Wonder)<\/p>\n

You are an agent of sanctification
\nGod’s using you to make me holy
\nYou are an agent of sanctification
\nGod has put you in my life<\/p>\n

And when I feel that I am. so. done.
\nI’m thanking God that he is no-o-o-ot<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Preemies. Post-dates. C-sections. A vaginal delivery. Prolapse. Sleepless nights. Disrupted routines. Lots of young children. Saying goodbye when we’ve planned to say goodbye. Saying goodbye when we were hoping for a lifetime. None of these things are easy.<\/p>\n

But easy isn’t how we learn to rely on God. Easy isn’t how we become like him.<\/p>\n

Praise God that he hasn’t let me live the easy dream. He’s making me holy, teaching me to trust.<\/p>\n

These things have absolutely changed my experience of motherhood. And though I’m crying even now thinking of the dreams we’ve lost, I’m crying too for the things we’ve gained. I wouldn’t change a thing. <\/p>\n

Even when I am. so. done. <\/p>\n

God is not.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I once read an article about how the experience of infertility changes the experience of motherhood. As a mother of two preemies, one “post-dates” baby, and three foster children (one at a time) – and as a woman who has now experienced miscarriage – I have to say that this too changes the experience of … Read more It’s changed me – and I wouldn’t change a thing<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[1315],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19786"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19786"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19786\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19789,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19786\/revisions\/19789"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19786"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19786"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19786"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}