Remember that line from Dirty Dancing where Patrick Swayze (as Johnny) says: “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”?<\/p>\n
That’s what I feel like<\/p>\n
…or maybe felt<\/i> like.<\/p>\n
Nobody puts Bekah on the shelf.<\/b><\/p>\n
Yet, one way or another, that’s where I am. <\/p>\n
Who put me here?<\/p>\n
Was it the scads of young men (who must be out there somewhere) who have pursued careers or glory or other women while leaving me to gather dust on the shelf?<\/p>\n
I want to blame them. Why do you choose all these other things and leave me behind when I want so much to be joined with someone–to pursue God’s glory together<\/i>.<\/p>\n
Or perhaps it was me, pursuing life and career and ministry to the fullest while living out this single life–leading the world to erroneously conclude that I did not want marriage?<\/p>\n
I censure myself even as I wonder how I could have done things differently. If I had focused less on school. If I had shown a little less outward contentment with my single life. If I had pursued marriage with the same abandon that I pursued knowledge or even the girls that I ministered to.<\/p>\n
But all these conjectures lead me to the One I must not censure, but often want to.<\/p>\n
God.<\/p>\n
God put me on this shelf.<\/p>\n
If I believe that God is truly sovereign (which I do), I can come to no other conclusion.<\/p>\n
Yes, the sinful (and righteous) actions of man (and myself) have contributed to the place where I am today.<\/p>\n
But ultimately, I am where I am today because God willed it.<\/i><\/p>\n
Therein lies my struggle.<\/p>\n
I see the goodness of marriage “which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in the time of man’s innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church” (as the Book of Common Prayer<\/i> declares.)<\/p>\n
And I see the “not good-ness” of aloneness.<\/p>\n
“It is not good that man should be alone.” Genesis 2:18<\/p>\n
Yet the God who saw fit to make a helper suitable for Adam in the Garden, who instituted the honourable estate of marriage then, has not seen fit to make a helper suitable for me, has not seen fit to introduce me into said honourable estate.<\/p>\n
How am I to reconcile the goodness of God with His withholding goodness from me? How am I to reconcile the goodness of God with His placing good desires in me, but withholding the good fulfillment of those desires?<\/p>\n
This is my daily struggle as I sit here on the shelf. <\/p>\n
I believe wholeheartedly that God is good. I believe wholeheartedly that He is sovereign.<\/p>\n
But every day, as my desires and my reality clash, I am forced to again make peace with the God who is good but looks not. I am forced to make peace with the God who is sovereign but feels not.<\/p>\n
I am forced to make peace with the God who has put me on the shelf.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Remember that line from Dirty Dancing where Patrick Swayze (as Johnny) says: “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”? That’s what I feel like …or maybe felt like. Nobody puts Bekah on the shelf. Yet, one way or another, that’s where I am. Who put me here? Was it the scads of young men (who must … Read more Nobody puts Bekah on the Shelf<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[9],"tags":[1009],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6779"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6779"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6779\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6779"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6779"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6779"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}