What is it that makes me so melancholy when my life is so full? Do I miss the sweetness of my life for longing for the one thing that it lacks? Do I forget the pleasures of today pining for the treasures of tomorrow? <\/p>\n
I have spent too many years in tomorrow, I know not if I can regain the todays I have. Years of longing dreaming, making dates and never keeping them. I was to have a house by 25, I knew it inside. But my todays never matched my dream of tomorrow, and now that is only a false hope. And the todays I lived got lost in the plans for tomorrow so that I do not know whether I have succeeded or failed. I can list my activities but cannot list my accomplishments, for everything I have done has fallen short of its intention. How can I regain today with pure hope for tomorrow?<\/p>\n
Fallen, dismayed, dashed, diseased. And I become an old maid, not out of age but out of loss. For an old maid is only a woman who feels only the losses of yesterday and none of the future of today. I mourn the setting aside of my little girl dresses, but instead of taking up the gay young woman’s garb, I settle down to widow’s weeds. I act as if I had lost my life, when I have only just begun. If life is beads upon a chain, my first twenty have been forgotten while dreaming of the ones that would come.<\/p>\n
But I will not remain in this state. I will only beg my Lord that He restore the years of the locust, that my life might not be unfruitful. I will only petition my Savior that He redeem my dreams. I will hold fast to my Beloved. But still my heart will ask, in peace and anguish both–I beg You, my Lord, a letter. A letter I might open with “Dearest friend” and close “Ever, affectionately yours.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What is it that makes me so melancholy when my life is so full? Do I miss the sweetness of my life for longing for the one thing that it lacks? Do I forget the pleasures of today pining for the treasures of tomorrow? I have spent too many years in tomorrow, I know not … Read more Reflections of a old woman<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[21],"tags":[331,751],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/908"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=908"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/908\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=908"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=908"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=908"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}