{"id":9472,"date":"2012-05-02T06:40:59","date_gmt":"2012-05-02T11:40:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/?p=9472"},"modified":"2012-05-02T06:40:59","modified_gmt":"2012-05-02T11:40:59","slug":"archived","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/2012\/20120502-9472.htm","title":{"rendered":"Archived"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every morning, the e-mail arrives in my inbox “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Here are your ___ matches”.<\/p>\n

Every morning, I delete those messages unread. <\/p>\n

Perhaps I’m an odd duck among eHarmony subscribers, but I don’t initiate contact with guys.<\/p>\n

Why not?<\/p>\n

‘Cause I’m there to be found, not to find. I’m interested in marriage–and I’m a complementarian.<\/p>\n

So I ignore those messages unless I get the one saying “So-and-so wants to get to know you.”<\/p>\n

Then I’ll log in and communicate with the ones who want to get to know me.<\/p>\n

Except that sometimes, when I get bored, I’ll read through the matches who haven’t contacted me, archiving the unsuitable ones.<\/p>\n

After all, I reason, I’m doing those guys a favor–decreasing how many matches they have to sort through.<\/p>\n

So…what does it mean if you’ve been archived?<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Your profile does not evidence that Christ is the center of your life.<\/em>
    \nThe one thing you are most passionate about should be Christ. Always. It’s wonderful that you love your family or your job or hard work or sports (okay, maybe I have a harder time with that last one). But you should be most passionate about Christ. If you aren’t, you aren’t for me.<\/li>\n
  2. You don’t want kids<\/em>
    \nI want kids. You don’t. I don’t know why you don’t want kids but I do know that I could never marry a man who didn’t want kids. Why lead you on?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    There you go. That’s why I archive.<\/p>\n

    Short list, huh?<\/p>\n

    I keep it that way on purpose. <\/p>\n

    A profile is a tiny snapshot of someone’s life. There’s no way that I can know enough (apart from the above) from the few questions on an eHarmony profile to give a definitive yes or no to a guy. <\/p>\n

    Which means that I ignore bad grammar (or at least try to) and give the guy a chance. After all, I know people who have terrible grammar who are nonetheless wonderful people.<\/p>\n

    I ignore a silly choice for the last book you read and enjoyed. Truth be told, I know some very intelligent, well-informed people who aren’t big readers. And that’s okay. I’m not going to nix you on the basis of that.<\/p>\n

    I ignore mentions of video games and sports (even though I’m not much of a fan of either). So I’m not a fan. That doesn’t mean that my boyfriend or husband couldn’t be (well…honestly, this one’s hard for me. I’d have to see what being a fan of sports and\/or video games looked like in order to determine that would be okay.)<\/p>\n

    The point is, there’s a lot I DON’T know based on the eHarmony profile. Which means I’m not going to be picky about getting to know guys initially.<\/p>\n

    Turns out, the more I experience in life, the more I agree with that one guy in that one book our college\/career women’s Bible Study read last summer.<\/p>\n

    The most important area of compatibility is Christ. <\/p>\n

    29 Dimensions may increase the odds that your “matches” will be compatible in that one area–but really, it’s that one area that counts.<\/p>\n

    Otherwise, you’ll be archived.<\/p>\n

    (In the course of writing this post, I discovered one more automatic archive item. If your favorite author\/preacher is Joel Osteen, you’re going to be archived. No ifs, ands, or buts.)<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Every morning, the e-mail arrives in my inbox “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Here are your ___ matches”. Every morning, I delete those messages unread. Perhaps I’m an odd duck among eHarmony subscribers, but I don’t initiate contact with guys. Why not? ‘Cause I’m there to be found, not to find. I’m interested in marriage–and I’m a … Read more Archived<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9472"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9472"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9472\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bekahcubed.menterz.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}