I’m thankful for the many details that are starting to fall into place.
Today I’m thankful…
…for my advisor’s acknowledgment of the merit of my thesis research (I’m so glad to have her on board!)
…for the approval of my former internship director regarding my immediate career plans
…for the confidence my new boss has in my ability to be an asset to the organization
…for the schedule we’ve been able to work out which will satisfy my employer (and my sister)–and allow me to keep my driving to a minimum
…for a chapter in Bible study last night that reminded again of how much I want Christ to become my supreme treasure.
“The best way to disengage an impure desire is to engage a pure one; the best way to expel the love of what is evil is to embrace the love of what is good instead. To be specific, we must replace the object of our sinful affection with an infinitely more worthy one–God himself. In this way we do not move from a full heart into a vacuum. Instead we move from a full heart to a heart bursting with fullness. And the expulsive power of our new affection weakens and even destroys the power of sin in our hearts.”
~Thomas Chalmers, quoted by Bridges and Bevington in The Bookends of the Christian Life
The same is true even when the object of our desire or affection is good. We all have many good desires–but these desires must not become our gods.
I have tried to change my desires, to adjust my dreams. I’ve begged God to change my heart, my desires, my dreams.
“Just don’t think about it.” I tell myself. “Just give up on it. Just resign yourself. Stop chasing that dream. Stop desiring that. Stop longing. Stop feeling.”
It doesn’t work. I can’t stop longing. I can’t stop desiring.
But I can cultivate a higher desire, a stronger longing, a deeper affection. I can look to Christ and deliberately stir up a longing in my soul for Him. I can whet my appetite with tastes of Him. I can run after Him until my panting soul cries out for the Living Water, the Water that is Himself.
I can cultivate a new affection for God that can then operate its expulsive power upon every lesser affection.
As details of my next career steps begin to fall into place, my soul remains conflicted. I am so thankful for this job, for its provision. There are so many wonderful aspects about it. Yet my desires… my desires are upon so many things that I cannot have. I know not what to do with the convolutions of my heart.
Yet one truth has fallen into place–I must learn to truly love God with heart and soul and strength. I must cling to Him and find in Him satisfaction for my soul.
“My soul longs, yes, even faints
For the courts of the LORD;
My heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.”
~Psalm 84:2
Awesome post. :)