A Night Not-Quite-Alone

A month ago, Stephanie issued a challenge to the readers of Offering Hospitality:

Meredith blogged about her practice of spending a day in solitude once a month here, here and here. Her goal, was to pray, read scripture, and focus on God in a location away from her normal distractions.
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I’m not saying we only spend time with God once a month. I mean having half a day, a whole day, or even overnight set aside to focus on something specific with God. Think of it as offering hospitality to yourself and God.

Will you join me in solitary hospitality?

I said I would and set a date: Thursday, January 20th.

Unfortunately, I was sick as a dog on Thursday, January 20th and I spent the day between my computer and my bed (and the bathroom, bleh!)

And then life had a way of taking up every spare moment after that.

When would I have 3 uninterrupted hours to spend with God?

I occasionally thought of my assent to the challenge, of the vow I’d left undone. I felt guilty, but I felt I couldn’t do anything about it.

Then Stephanie’s Wrap Up Post posted–and I really felt bad.

Still doing nothing.

Then, on my drive from one of my facilities to the other yesterday, I realized it was futile to keep waiting for tomorrow.

How ’bout tonight? I asked myself. And I started plotting.

I’d have an hour and a half drive home–time I usually spent listening to a podcast or audiobook or brainstorming something for work. Then after I got home, I’d have an hour and a half before my sister would get home.

I’d choose to use that time with the Lord.

So I started my solitary retreat in the car. Praying.

It started with a whine, a complaint.

What’s up with this, Lord? What’s up with where you have me? Why this? Why that? And why are You so silent?

I asked for help in specific things.

For some, He was silent. For others, He sent me grasping about for my journal and thankful for red lights so I could write down His words.

“Hold it with a loose hand.”

A simple phrase, not much to it–but the silence was broken.

My heart eventually turned from me, and the headlights of an approaching train reminded me, oddly, to pray for my family. I spent the rest of my drive remembering my family in prayer.

It felt good, to spend concerted time bringing those I love before the One I love.

I still had Grace to go when I got home, so I spent a bit more time praying for her.

Then into my room and snuggled under the covers (our heat pump just can’t quite keep up with Nebraska’s currently subzero temps) with my Bible for some reading.

Nothing in particular, just more from my ordinary Bible reading plan.

But it was me and God together–together for a good long time.

Maybe it wasn’t earth-shattering, but it was soul-quenching.

I’d forgotten that this burden can only be lifted by Him.

I’d forgotten that this longing can only be fulfilled in Him.

I’d forgotten that life is worth living for Him.

I’m so glad He brought it to mind as I spent the night not-quite-alone–with Him.

Check out what others have been learning through their solitary retreats at Offering Hospitality: Solitary Hospitality Challenge Conclusion