Books

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: The Secret Keeper by Kate Morton

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16-year-old Laurel is sitting in her treehouse, pouting, while the rest of her family enjoys the baby’s birthday party. She’s just about decided to join the family party when she sees her mother greet a visitor (a man Laurel has never seen before) by plunging a knife into his chest.

In the very next chapter, Laurel is a grown woman and her mother Dorothy is celebrating her 90th birthday, her last birthday. Laurel goes through a family photo album, telling her hospitalized and unresponsive mother the familiar story of her own life, starting just before she’d met their father. As Laurel nears the end of the album, an old photo falls out, one Laurel has never seen before. It’s their mother and another woman, victory rolls in their hair. Laurel asks her sister about the picture and her sister explains how she’d found the photo in a book belonging to their mother: a copy of Peter Pan, the play. The book was inscribed “For Dorothy. A true friend is a light in the dark. Vivien.”

It’s funny, Laurel thought, she’d never considered her mother’s life before the album began – her life before she’d met and married their father. But this photo, and the inscription in the book, touched something deep inside of Laurel. She began looking into the story of her mother’s past.

From there, The Secret Keeper follows the lives of three women: Laurel, her mother Dorothy, and Dorothy’s friend Vivian. The narrative jumps back and forth from woman to woman and from 1940’s England to modern day (2011) England. And it’s absolutely fascinating.

This was the September pick for my in-real-life bookclub, and I knew from the other readers that there would be a twist at the end. Despite this, I spent the majority of the book with no clue as to even what I might be trying to solve. Was I trying to solve the mystery of the man’s death? Of Vivien and Dorothy’s relationship? Of… well, I didn’t know. It was disconcerting, reading a book that kept me guessing all the way to the end – guessing not only about the solution to the mystery but about what the mystery was exactly.

It drew me in like few books have lately. It wasn’t simply an escape – it kept me thinking too much. Yet it wasn’t dense and literary (in such a way that I felt exhausted afterward from the hard work of interpretation.) It was an engaging story, a thought-provoking read, a mental and emotional workout that I only recognized by the runner’s high, not by any perspiration in the process. (For the record, I have never experienced a runner’s high from running, nor have I ever run without noticing myself perspiring. Actually, I’ve pretty much never run. So maybe my metaphor should have been something more like an enjoyable night of dancing that I only recognized as a workout from the pleasantly sore muscles in the morning – but it’s not what I came up with first, and I don’t have the energy just now to figure out how to transform that one to fit the sentence. Yep, I’m that lazy.)

It took me a few chapters to get into this novel, but once I was in, I was in all the way. I enjoyed every twist and turn. And the twist at the end? It’s more like two dozen twists, absolutely paradigm-shifting twists. Twists that make me want to sit right back down and read the book over again to see how the author crafted the story so exquisitely that everything fits in this completely altered worldview.

Yeah. It was GOOD.

You should read it.

Rating: 5 stars
Category: General Fiction
Synopsis: A woman seeks to learn about her mother’s life before marriage and family – and finds out more than she could have ever imagined.
Recommendation: An excellent book. Highly recommended.

Categories Books

9 years ago today

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On this day in history, 9 years ago, I started a massive project: to read every book in my local branch library.

I’ve moved cities twice, gotten married (just once, thank you), and had a child in the intervening 9 years.

What started at a branch library now continues at Wichita’s Central Library.

I’m gonna read every book in my local library. Or die trying. Probably the latter.

Meanwhile, it’s been tremendous fun.

TOTALS as of Sept 5, 2015 (9 years or 3287 days)

Category Items Complete Categories Closed Items/day
Juvenile Picture 1335 433 0.41
Juvenile, Board Books 54 15 0.02
Juvenile, First Readers 64 3 0.02
Juvenile, Chapter 92 7 0.03
Juvenile Fiction 308 205 0.09
Juvenile Nonfiction 179 1 0.05
Teen Fiction 40 4 0.01
Teen Nonfiction 5 0 0.00
Adult Fiction 443 70 0.13
Adult Nonfiction 756 34 0.23
Audio CD 549 0 0.17
Juvenile DVD 48 0 0.01
Adult Fiction DVD 90 0 0.03
Adult Nonfiction DVD 34 0 0.01
Periodicals 66 0 0.02
Total 4063 items
1.24 items per day

Interestingly, the last time I made an update was exactly 4.5 years ago – which gives a nice opportunity to see how my reading habits have changed over the past 4.5 years.

Some major differences –
Juvenile: I have decreased my reading of juvenile books in general (from 1203 books to 829 books) – although I had not read any board books until we were expecting Tirzah Mae and my intake of juvenile nonfiction was increased in this past 4.5 years.
Adult: My “adult” reading has basically halved, with the proportion of nonfiction to fiction increasing.
Media: I have listened to about 100 more audio CDs in this past 4.5 years than in the 4.5 years before that. My DVD consumption has decreased dramatically (because I haven’t been recording when Daniel and I watch something on Netflix – while I *did* record things I watched with my sister on Netflix). I have also essentially stopped reading magazines.

Of course, the real question is how many books I read in a certain time frame – and I haven’t answered that one yet. Since my last data point is 4.5 years ago, I’m going to have to answer for the entire past 4.5 years – but it looks like I have read 566 books in the past 4.5 years (excluding children’s picture books, first readers, and beginner chapter books.) That equals out to 125.8 books per year or 10.5 books per month or 1/3 of a book per day.

Categories Read Aloud Thursday

Read Aloud Thursday (August 2015)

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One of the major difficulties of writing up what we’re reading aloud is that we read A LOT. And since mama is picking the books at this point (without Tirzah Mae showing much preference), we read a new book (almost) every time. Which means there are a lot of books to talk about.

Since we’ve been reading a number of series books or books by the same author, I’m going to try to group them a bit (we’ll see how that works!)

BabyLit! Books

Little Master Baum: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Jennifer Adams

Little Master Baum: The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Daniel heard about the BabyLit! books when Tirzah Mae was a newborn, and requested the Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility ones from the library. The gist of these is that they introduce characters or plot points from classic books. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was a “colors primer”. One layout is Dorothy’s blue dress and the blue munchkins. Another is the yellow brick road with a variety of yellow signs. Some of the colors seemed a bit contrived: pink had Glinda’s castle and rubies and socks while the scarecrow was “tan”. But it may be that the reason I didn’t like Oz as much as I enjoyed the Austen adaptations is simply that, well, I don’t like Oz anywhere near as much as I like Austen. The series is a solid one, and I’ll be looking for more of these – but I wouldn’t be buying the Oz one.

Mini Myths

These are very loose adaptations of ancient myths, set in modern day preschoolers’ worlds. (Why does everything for children have to be about themselves?)

Brush Your Hair, Medusa and
Make a Wish, Midas! by Joan Holub and Leslie Patricelli

Mini Myths: Medusa and Midas

Medusa has crazy curly hair, but she’d rather do somersaults than brush it. Grandma arrives before the hair is brushed, and summarily takes Medusa for a haircut. The only similarity with the myth is how Medusa’s hair looks.

Midas’ favorite color is yellow. He only wears yellow clothes, only eats yellow foods, and he wishes that EVERYTHING was yellow. But when he tries painting his pet dinosaur yellow, he gets his wish, but discovers that a yellow Dinoboo just isn’t the same. This one is closer to the myth, but I had a hard time figuring out why exactly painting Dinoboo yellow made Midas cry. It’s not as if his daughter had turned to gold.

Be Patient, Pandora! and
Play Nice, Hercules! by Joan Holub and Leslie Patricelli

Mini Myths: Pandora and Hercules

Pandora has been instructed not to open the wrapped box – but curiosity gets the better of her and she touches it, sits on it, stands on it, bounces on it. The bouncing is the last straw and the box bursts open, sending cupcakes all over everywhere. All the cupcakes save one are ruined. I thought this myth was actually quite well done.

Hercules is a strong little boy who likes to beat up bad guys (signified by toys) and to break down castles. Unfortunately, the castle he broke down is his little sister’s and she’s none too happy. Hercules has to make up for his error by rebuilding her a castle (which she summarily knocks down herself.) The myth is present in this one to some degree, but even if it wasn’t, this story and its accompanying illustrations are a cute description of family life, I think.

Books by Boynton

I am, in general, a fan of Boynton – but I actually managed to find a book or two I wasn’t so fond of in this go round.

Little Pookie
and What’s Wrong, Little Pookie? by Sandra Boynton

"Little Pookie" and "What's Wrong, Little Pookie"

Boynton introduces us to Little Pookie the pig as Pookie’s mother shares ten (oh wait, make it eleven!) things she knows about her Little Pookie. A sweet little story that I imagine moms and little ones can identify with quite a bit (especially item 11: “You like reading books. And oh! I do, too!”) In What’s Wrong, Little Pookie?, Pookie’s mother tries to guess what’s wrong, giving more and more outlandish guesses each time – until Pookie has rather forgotten what got him so upset. These are precious little tales.

Dinosaur’s Binkit by Sandra Boynton

Dinosaur's Binkit

This one’s a lift-the-flap, touch-and-feel type book – and Tirzah Mae loved it. The narrator tells Dinosaur that it’s time to get ready for bed, so he begins the process, but does so very sadly (escalating to a full-fledged meltdown) because he couldn’t find his “binkit”. Dinosaur’s boy finds him crying in the closet and offers him a handkerchief – that happens to be the lost fuzzy Binkit. It’s a relatable story for many, I’d imagine (although, while Tirzah Mae definitely goes to sleep better with her “lovey”, she dosn’t meltdown if she’s missing it.) What made it fun for us was that this was the first time Tirzah Mae really got into the touch-and-feely part,

The Bunny Rabbit Show
Opposites and
Fifteen Animals! by Sandra Boynton

"The Bunny Rabbit Show" and "Opposites"Fifteen Animals

In The Bunny Rabbit Show, a chorus line of bunny rabbits sing and dance across the pages. I sang freestyle, with no tune in particular, but moms who are more particular can look up a recording of the bunny rabbits’ song. Maybe I’d enjoy the official version more – the book didn’t really do it for me.

The little protagonist in Fifteen Animals (which is also a song) has fifteen animals, all of which have their own special name: Bob. (Okay, they aren’t ALL named Bob. There’s a surprise at the end – don’t tell your child!) This is a silly, totally relatable little story.

Opposites is a pretty typical opposites book – with pairings of opposite words set amidst illustrations. It did have a few novel opposites that were well illustrated: “hello” and “goodbye” were fun.

Happy Hippo, Angry Duck by Sandra Boynton

Happy HIppo, Angry Duck

A Bear? asks “Hello, Little Person! How are you today?” and then goes through a list of possible moods, each of which are paired with an animal (Happy as a Hippo, Angry as a Duck.) This wasn’t my favorite of Boynton’s books, probably because there isn’t anything inherently angry about a duck and the cartoon-style illustrations didn’t strike me as crystal clear about what each mood “looks like”.

The Belly Button Book by Sandra Boynton

The Belly Button Book

I think some people would find this book of bathing hippos showing off their belly buttons hilarious. I’m not really a fan of belly-button-baring-bathing suits, though, so I was less impressed.

Other Books by Familiar Authors

Black & White by Tana Hoban

Black & White

These are the same black and white outlines that can be found in Black on White and White on Black, except that they’re in an accordian fold that folds and snaps into the dimensions of a normal board book. I wasn’t a huge fan of them as separate books and I’m not too fond of them in this form either.

Hide and Seek Harry at the Playground by Kenny Harrison

Hide and Seek Harry at the Playground

The last of Harrison’s Hide and Seek Harry books (that my library owns). We continue to enjoy this simple series where Harry the Hippo hides out (not so secretly) in a variety of settings.

Mommy Hugs by Karen Katz

Mommy Kisses

Katz has been a mixed bag for me – but I think this one goes on the “like it” list. The mama in the book counts up ten different types of “Mommy hugs”, from one “nuzzle-wuzzle wake-up hug” to ten “I love you,”(x10) “goodnight hugs”. I don’t know that Tirzah Mae looked at the illustrations much, but she sure enjoyed the hugs :-)

New Authors This Month

Chicks by Laura Ellen Anderson

Chicks

A sweet little book with multicolored chicks going about their days – from hatching in the morning to snuggling together at night. Tirzah Mae enjoyed looking at the pictures. I enjoyed the one sleepy little chick who came out with her nightcap on – and kept it on all throughout the day, catching naps whenever she could (I wonder why I enjoy that so much – perhaps because I am *definitely* a fan of sleep and my daughter is definitely NOT?)

Summer by Chris L. Demarest

Summer

Simple two to three word sentences describing things you’ll see at the beach in the summer. The pages are cut into odd shapes to allow continuity from one page to another (because the skyline, for example, is from the previous page). Overall, though, this book was an “eh” from both Tirzah Mae and me.

A Circle Here, A Square There by David Diehl

A Circle Here, A Square There

A simple book in which shapes are found in a variety of everyday objects – a triangular piece of pizza, an oval egg, a diamond-shaped kite. The text is simply the name of the shape – but the simplicity of this one is charming. I think we’ll be taking a look at this again as Tirzah Mae gets a little older.

Baby Animals Spots and Stripes by Phyllis Limbacher Tildes

Baby Animal Spots and Stripes

This black and white wordless book is just delightful. The detail of the animal drawings remind me of plates from an old nature guidebook. There’s a spotted rabbit, a raccoon with a striped face and tail, a spotted box turtle, a striped king snake, etc. Tirzah Mae liked looking at these pictures as I showed her the stripes and the spots – she also liked the surprise color illustration on the last two-page spread!

Who Says That, Cat the Cat? by Mo Willems

Who says that, Cat the Cat?

A simple animal sound book in which Cat the cat goes around asking different animals “What’s your sound?” “Hound” the hound and “Cow” the cow and all the other animals answer with their respective sounds – until they get to Bunny the bunny, who answers with a worried look and a little scribble in her speech bubble. Cat the cat answers with “Sounds like somebody needs a hug!” and all the other animals hug the nervous bunny. Cute.

Check out what other families are reading aloud at Read Aloud Thursday at Hope is the Word.

Categories What's on Your Nightstand?

Nightstand (August 2015)

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My library is celebrating 100 years this year – and, as part of their celebration, they’re inviting library patrons to try to read 100 books this year (with the opportunity to read great prizes, they say.) The only stipulation is that the books must be at least 100 pages in length (do I sense a theme here?) As of today, I’ve read 72 books over a hundred pages (I only wish I’d noted the pages – I’ve seen others tabulate how many pages they’ve read, and that’s a pretty good idea.) That’s 72% of the way to 100 and it’s 65% of the way through the year, so… I think I might make it to 100 :-D

First load of library returns

Fiction read this month:

  • The Siege of Macindaw by John Flanagan
    I am continuing to enjoy the “Ranger’s Apprentice” series – the former castle wards turned apprentices are now in their first duty posts, handling a tricky situation up North. Will and Horace have to figure out how to siege Macindaw with fewer men than are within the castle walls – and they have to do it before something horrible happens to Alyss, a prisoner within the castle tower.
  • The Adventures of Perseus by Peter Hepplewhite
    An episodic recounting of the myth of Perseus, with cartoon-like illustrations and a call-out box or two per double-page spread giving background information on the current episode. For example, in the episode entitled “Perseus rescues his mother”, a call-out box titled “Ask the storyteller” asks “What happened to Medusa’s head?” I’d say this is probably a good choice for mid- to upper- elementary child.
  • The Talisman Ring by Georgette Heyer
    An arranged marriage, a suspected murderer, a free-trader, an actual murderer, and a runaway bride? This Heyer novel had me laughing out loud – and quite unable to communicate why to my husband. Heyer just has a knack for hilarious interpersonal interactions (but ones that you can’t always understand in just an excerpt!)
  • 18 board books
    Tirzah Mae and I have been doing lots of reading this month!

Nonfiction read this month:

Books about Family Issues (Marriage, Childbirth, Baby Care):

  • I’d Trade My Husband for a Housekeeper by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile
    An expansion on a chapter in I was a Good Mom before I had Kids, by the same authors. My opinion of this book is about the same as my opinion on the chapter in the earlier book – generally good advice but the women they talk to can be incredibly disrespectful to their husbands. You can find my full review here.
  • Thank You, Dr. Lamaze by Marjorie Karmel
    A fascinating memoir of Karmel’s experience giving birth naturally in France using Dr. Lamaze’s variation on “Pavlovian childbirth” – and then of applying that same method while giving birth in America. For those who are into birth or the history of birth (okay, I might be the only one?), this is absolutely riveting. Read my full review here.
  • Cut it Out! by Theresa Morris
    A fascinating sociological exploration of the current c-section epidemic in the US. This author argues (and quite successfully, I think) that organizational changes (mostly driven by litigation) are the primary contributer to the US’s astronomical c-section rate. Morris interviewed hundreds of healthcare providers and recently postpartum women and includes extensive quotes throughout the book. Definitely worth reading if the subject interests you at all (I read it in two, maybe three sittings?)
  • How to Survive Your Baby’s First Year by Hundreds of Heads
    Lots of dogmatic black-and-white advice with little by way of usable tips – except the oft-repeated (and, in my opinion BAD) advice to “do what works for you”. Read my scathing review here.
  • The Baby Food Bible by Eileen Behan
    Somewhat dated and doesn’t address a lot of the hot-button issues (or many of my favorite soapboxes), but a good resource for a mom of an infant under 8 months who intends to make her own baby food purees. Read my full review here.

Second load of library returns

Books about Building a Home:

  • Almost Green by James Glave
    A freelance writer tries to build a super-green studio workspace in his yard. Interesting in parts, insufferably supercilious in others. I don’t really recommend it. You can, however, read my full review here.
  • Porches and Sunrooms by Roger German
    A full-color resource for planning, building (or renovating), and repairing a porch, three-season-room, sunroom, or conservatory. I enjoyed all the photos of lovely porches – and gained what I think will be useful information about the process of building a porch.

Books about History:

  • Caesar and Christ by Will Durant
    I’ve been listening to this one off and on since April – and I finally finished it (it’s only 30 discs long!). It’s a fascinating look at the history of Rome – from the foundations to the fall. I’d like to read it again someday – and I see this as potentially being a great resource for a high school study of ancient history.
  • The Black Count by Tom Reiss
    The story of the novelist Alexandre Dumas’ father, also names Alexandre Dumas. Dumas was a mullato from French Saint-Domingue who participated in the French Revolution, even becoming general-in-chief of the French Republican Army. After participating in Napoleon’s unsuccessful invasion of Egypt, Dumas became a prisoner in Naples while Republican France devolved into a totalitarian regime under Napoleon. This was a intriguing story of the French Revolution and of race relations in revolutionary and post-revolutionary France.

Other nonfiction:

  • Cheaper by the Dozen by Frank B. Gilbreth Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey
    This month’s pick for my in-real-life bookclub. I love how this story reminds me of my own childhood – both because of similarities between our stories and because of how the Gilbreth story influenced our family culture when I was a teen.
  • Christmas in Brazil by World Book
    Brazil has some rather different Christmas season traditions. Interesting.
  • The Lion’s World by Rowan Williams
    A delightful conversation about themes in Narnia; like a chat with one of the smartest people you know, who also happens to be a lover of Narnia. You can find my full review here.
  • Organize Your Stuff the Lazy Way by Toni Ahlgren
    Not particularly well-organized for a book on organizing – and tremendously dated (about half of the book applies to stuff that no longer exists thanks to technological changes).

Third load of library returns

Don’t forget to drop by 5 Minutes 4 Books to see what others are reading this month!

What's on Your Nightstand?

Categories Book Notes

Why do I study God?

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J.I. Packer begins his modern-day classic Knowing God with an apologetic of sorts for the practice of theology.

He quotes a Spurgeon sermon to say that the study of theology humbles us, expands us, and consoles us. He attempts to convince us that the study of God is essentially practical and relevant. He tells us what he intends to cover in our study of God: the Godness of God, the powers of God, the actions of God, and the character of God. And, he begs us stop and consider our motivations.

“We need to ask ourselves: what is my ultimate aim and object in occupying my mind with these things? What do I intend to do with my knowledge about God, once I have got it? For the fact that we have to face is this: that if we pursue theological knowledge for its own sake, it is bound to go bad on us.”

The truth of Packer’s caution was driven home when I began to inspect 1 Timothy, the book I have taken up for study after finishing Titus last week. In 1 Timothy 1:3-7, Paul writes of the reason for which he has left Timothy in Ephesus.

“As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion, desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions.”

Paul contrasts his motivation in giving the charge to avoid teaching false doctrine and spurious matters with the motivation of those who are teaching false doctrine and devoting themselves to spurious matters. Paul is motivated by love, by a pure heart, by a good conscience, and by a sincere heart. The “certain persons” have swerved from these, wandering into vain discussions, making confident assertions about things they don’t understand.

It makes sense. When am I most bound to misunderstand or misrepresent the gospel? When am I most bound to spend my time fighting about nonessentials? Is it not when I am seeking self-glorification (the opposite of selfless love)? Is it not when I am seeking to gratify impure desires? Is it not when I am seeking to assuage a guilty conscience? Is it not when I am trusting self rather than God?

So what is my motivation in studying? Is it love for God and my fellow man? Is it a pure heart, a good conscience, a sincere faith?

Maybe. But not always. Often, my motivation is to feel good about myself. To have something to blog about. To show how much knowledge I have or how deep a thinker I am. I swerve all too often from love, a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith.

Does that mean that I ought not study the Scripture, since I am bound to go wrong?

Certainly not.

Instead, it is a call to start my study where I’d rather not. It is a call to start my study on my knees, acknowledging my sinful desires, my sinful motives, my sinful actions. It is a call to start my study at the cross, begging God to yet again replace my heart of stone with his own heart. It is a call to approach my study as one who desperately needs for the Scripture to change me.

And, having studied, I must purpose to confess my sin as revealed in light of God’s truth. I must purpose to be obedient to God’s instruction as revealed in God’s word. I must purpose to glorify the One who is the object of my study.

Packer writes of it thus:

“Our aim in studying the Godhead must be to know God Himself the better. Our concern must be to enlarge our acquaintance, not simply with the doctrine of God’s attributes, but with the living God whose attributes they are. As He is the subject of our study, and our helper in it, so He must Himself be the end of it. We must seek, in studying God, to be led to God. It was for this purpose that revelation was given, and it is to this use that we must put it.

How are we to do this? How can we turn our knowledge about God into knowledge of God? The rule for doing this is demanding but simple. It is that we turn each truth that we learn about God into matter for meditation before God, leading to prayer and praise to God.”

May we ever have a heart to do so.

I’m reading J.I. Packer’s Knowing God along with Tim Challies’ “Reading Classics Together” bookclub. You can find Challies’ post on the first two chapters here. A couple bloggie friends are also participating and have posted this first week (I can link to them because I’m a day late in posting!) – Check out what Barbara and Lisa have to say about chapters one and two. And…it’s not too late to read along – we’re reading just two chapters per week and this is just the first week :-)

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: How to Survive Your Baby’s First Year by Hundreds of Heads

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Once upon a time, when I was young and before I had children, I read a book in which parents shared their best parenting tips. I thought it was fascinating – seeing all the different parenting styles, all the little tips and tricks for staying sane and organized, for getting past diapering or potty-training troubles, for dealing with picky eaters and supermarket tantrums.

So I figured I’d probably like the Hundreds of Heads Survival Guide: How to Survive Your Baby’s First Year “by hundreds of happy moms and dads who did”.

I was wrong.

Perhaps the types of tips and quality of advice has changed in the years between the two books’ publications (this one was published in 2005). Or perhaps I’ve become more dogmatic about my own parenting philosophies. Perhaps it’s both. But the advice in this book generally struck me as same-old-same-old millenial parenting advice that, in my opinion, hasn’t worked out so well. Okay, maybe the parents survived the first year, but the kids grown up on this sort of advice have issues.

Perhaps I remember wrongly, but it seems the book I remember reading was filled with tips – different ideas for organizing the changing table or for repurposing those wipes containers or for household items that make great toys for an infant or whatever.

The advice in this book is more like: “Breastfeeding is the best thing you’ll ever experience”, “Don’t breastfeed, it sucks”. “Spanking is the absolute worst thing you can do to your child”; “A pop on the butt is all it takes”. Or it’ll be mom ratting dad out for how he doesn’t know that a child should only be left in time out for as many minutes as he is years old (a 3-year-old for 3 minutes). Oh, really? Since when did that become an unbreakable rule? (Note: if a mom said, “I generally give my kids a timeout corresponding to their age – I find it suits their attention spans and gives them enough time to calm down without making them get impatient”, I’d be “Oh, neat tip.”)

Of course, all this dogmatic side-taking doesn’t stop the steady stream of “do what works for you” language. Which reminds me of a recent PJTV Parenting Round Table in which the contributers were asked “What’s the Best (and Worst) Parenting Advice You’ve Ever Received?”

Leslie Loftis gave the best answer (in my opinion):

“The Best advice came from my college mentor and mother of two: Aim for the kind of person you want them to be at 35, not what you want for them tomorrow.

The worst advice was also the most common advice: Just do what works for you and your family. In practice, it is the reverse of the best advice. It encourages short term thinking. What is right is what works right now. Sometimes necessity must have her way, but usually doing what works right now means avoiding little problems and letting them fester until they become big problems that are much harder to solve.”

And that, in short, is why I didn’t like How to Survive Your Baby’s First Year. It’s full of dogmaticism about pretty much anything (most of which are non-essentials) – combined with a total lack of long-range thinking.

Rating: 1 star
Category: Parenting – Baby Care
Synopsis: Parents give dogmatic advice on the major first year parenting questions – while constantly proclaiming “do what works for you”.
Recommendation: I don’t recommend it.

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: Thank You, Dr. Lamaze by Marjorie Karmel

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Marjorie Karmel had no intention of reading Grantley Dick-Reed’s Childbirth without Fear, which a friend had pressed into her hands at a dinner party. Marjorie wasn’t afraid of childbirth. She’d be out, after all.

But when she was desperately seasick on her trip back from New York to France, she picked up the book and started reading, fascinated. The book brought up all sorts of repressed memories (a terrible story of her mom’s delivery of her, a friend who’d told her about her own not-so-pleasant delivery, all previously forgotten) but also gave her hope for another way.

She asked around in Paris, searching for a doctor who’d be willing to let her try a natural childbirth – and found Dr. Lamaze.

Dr. Lamaze practiced a form of “Pavlovian childbirth”, based on Ivan Pavlov’s conditioned reflexes. Apparently, this form of childbirth was popular in the Soviet Union – but Lamaze advanced the technique, adding certain breathing methods and whatnot.

In Thank You, Dr. Lamaze, Marjorie Karmel writes of the wonderful experience she had giving birth to her first child in a Parisian hospital with a monitrice (doula) who’d taught her the Lamaze techniques and Dr. Lamaze attending – and she tells of using that same technique to give birth naturally in a New York hospital with much less natural-childbirth-friendly practices (and practitioners.)

I raced through this memoir, finding it absolutely fascinating.

Why? What was so interesting?

Well, the first is obvious. I love the process of birthing, love learning about the process of birthing. I wanted to be a midwife when I was a kid. I’d still love to be a midwife. It’s amazing.

But beyond that, it was interesting because it was a story of birthing practices at a certain point in time – and was a story that sparked significant changes in how birthing is done in America. It is through Karmel’s “ASPO” (American Society for Psychoprophylaxis in Obstetrics), now called “Lamaze International”, that things like having your husband present during labor and delivery became mainstream in America. Yet some of the aspects of how Karmel gave birth have been rejected by modern natural childbirth organizations, including Lamaze International.

Another interesting aspect was hearing about Karmel’s experience trying out a “natural childbirth course” at an American hospital. The class was led by a facilitator rather than a teacher – and the facilitator kept pointing out how every woman is different (and therefore there aren’t any general principles for women to learn to help them understand the process) and how medications will always be available if needed. The bulk of the class ended up being women talking about their past experiences or expected experiences – with very little learning about the actual process of birth or of ways to deal with it. I thought Karmel’s description was fascinating, because I feel like I’ve heard about that same class – except taught in these days :-)

It’s a short book, an easy read, and interesting to people like me. :-)

Rating:4 stars
Category: Birth Memoir
Synopsis: Karmel shares her story of giving birth naturally in a Paris hospital with Dr. Lamaze’s techniques – and of applying the same techniques in a New York hospital with less aware attendants.
Recommendation: Definitely worth reading for those who enjoy this sort of thing

Categories B3RD, Book Reviews

Book Review: The Baby Food Bible by Eileen Behan

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Face it, feeding a baby is hard work. Whether at the breast, from a bottle, or at the table, infant feeding takes time, energy, and savvy. (And don’t even get me started on the cleanup!)

For the health savvy mom, feeding a baby can be even harder – there’s so much conflicting information, so much advice, so many different ways to go. Start at four months or six? Rice cereal or avocado as a first food? Wait 3-5 days between foods or introduce mixtures at will? Cut grapes into quarters or sixteenths? Jarred or homemade baby foods? Or maybe baby-led weaning is the way to go? Should I choose organic foods or are conventionally grown foods okay? Should my baby eat salt? Sugar? Dairy foods? Soy foods? Wheat? Peanuts? The list of potential questions goes on and on.

I wish there were a good quality book that addressed all these issues (and addressed them the way I do – because, of course, I know it all :-P), but unfortunately, to my knowledge, no such book exists.

Eileen Behan’s The Baby Food Bible does a pretty good job though as a basic resource for moms. Behan, a dietitian who works with families, does a decent job summarizing general infant feeding recommendations as of 2008 when The Baby Food Bible was published.

The largest section of the book is a list of healthy food items (from all the food groups), discussing how moms can make them into purees for their infants and how they can incorporate those foods into family meals. She gives easy “recipes” for the purees, including how much water to use per unit of food and both stovetop and microwave cooking times. For the mom who’s going the puree route (which you don’t have to, by the way – Tirzah Mae ate purees maybe twice), it’s a good resource. The next largest section is a collection of multi-ingredient recipes that can be pureed to be fed to babies, as well as to the rest of the family. Again, if you’re going the puree route, it’s a good resource.

Now, every so often, Behan says something about a specific food that reflects traditional infant feeding biases that I don’t agree with (and that don’t have research to back them up) – like when she says that cucumbers are “not recommended for infants”, but are “a good snack food for older toddlers.” It’s true that cucumbers do not puree well, but I don’t see any reason why an infant eating stage 3 or 4 foods shouldn’t have little chunks of the inner portion of a cucumber (Tirzah Mae does whenever we’re eating cucumbers). Likewise, Behan writes that “onions are not a baby food” and suggests only that they can be included in recipes for older children because they add flavor. I’ve never seen any reason to avoid onions with babies (except cultural biases against it) – and we eat sauteed onions (or sauteed onions and zucchini or onions and peppers or…) rather frequently.

Other recommendations Behan makes are outdated – the most notable being that she gives the (then current) recommendation to avoid potentially allergenic foods in the first year. Pediatricians and dietitians had been giving that advice for years based on a “better safe than sorry” principle while research was being conducted to determine whether it made a difference. Well, in the past 2 (maybe 3?) years, the research has come out and indicates that holding off on potentially allergy-causing food has the exact opposite effect than the one we’d hoped for. We now know that introducing potential allergens between the ages of 4 and 6 months has a protective effect against the development of food allergies.

And then there are the philosophical questions that don’t necessarily have scientific evidence on their side – organic foods, local foods, humane foods, etc. Behan generally jumps on the bandwagon with each of these, although she does acknowledge to some degree that parents may have different priorities.

So… now for the difficult part. Do I recommend The Baby Food Bible?

If you’re a mom with a baby younger than 8 months, you intend to go the puree route, and you want to learn how to make your own baby food, this is a great resource. If you’ve got a baby older than 8 months, you should be working on introducing textures (which Behan doesn’t talk a whole lot about but which I consider a very important step in ensuring healthy eating patterns into adulthood – something I believe the research supports). If you intend to skip purees – hey, I did too – wanna compare notes? If you intend to just buy staged baby food from the store, the bulk of this book won’t apply to you.

Rating: 3 stars
Category: Infant feeding
Synopsis: Behan discusses then-current recommendations for infant feeding and gives a giant list of foods and how to prepare and puree them for your baby.
Recommendation: Worthwhile if your baby is under 8 months, you intend to feed your baby purees, and you want to learn how to make your own baby food.

Categories Book Reviews

Essential Oil Books

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Yesterday, I posted a very long review of the current state of research on essential oils. My conclusion was that

“There’s a lot of buzz about essential oils these days – and essential oils show some promise for enhancing health. But, the current state of research is such that an evidence-based practitioner should be extremely cautious about making any recommendations regarding essential oils. We simply don’t know enough.”

Those who read yesterday’s post will likely be unsuprised to find that my reviews of the following books about essential oils tend to be critical, especially of the health claims made within.

Even while I am skeptical regarding supposed health benefits of essential oil use, I tend to think that most essential oils, when diluted minutely and administered either topically or by inhalation (such as being diffused into a room), are unlikely to be dangerous. There are few documented adverse effects of essential oils in their usual uses, so I would feel much more comfortable using them in the “usual ways” than in some novel dilution or route. (I would be extremely cautious of using essential oils internally, as this is NOT a common use and therefore more of an unknown as far as potential toxicity goes.)

The Essential Oils Book: Creating Personal Blends for Mind & Body by Colleen K. Dodt

This is the first book I read on using essential oils – and the subtitle accurately represents what you’ll find within. The bulk of the book is “recipes” for essential oil blends to be used as cosmetics, bath blends, cleaning solutions, and the like. There are a wide variety of recipes, some using specific oils (particularly the ones for use on the body) and others simply giving direction to add “15 drops essential oils” (generally the cleaning or room freshening recipes).

The author is clearly fond of aromas and she shares her enthusiasm not only by encouraging the use of essential oils but also the use of fresh and dried flowers and herbs. That was fun. On the other hand, the author also seems pretty flaky and frequently mentions pseudo-scientific things (which might just be the state of aromatherapy at this point) like detoxifying for weight loss.

The third chapter describes around 30 essential oils, giving its information in loose headings: “Nature”, “Benefits”, “Suggested Uses”, “Blending”, and “Cautions”. Some oils contain all these headings, others only a few. Often information that seems to best fit under one heading appears under another. Sometimes cautions that I read of other places aren’t given here. And, of course, very few of the claims can be supported by scientific literature.

Nevertheless, I found this to be a useful introduction into how essential oils can be (and are) used in a variety of ways both in personal care and in the home.

Essential Energy: A guide to aromatherapy and essential oils by Nikki Goldstein

This full-color “artsy” book ended up being a fascinating blend of historical and practical information about aromatherapy. The first chapters describe the use of aroma throughout history (and throughout the world) and how smell and touch work together to accomplish aromatherapy’s magic. This book too describes a list of around 30 essential oils, giving historical information, “benefits”, “safe use”, and “cautions” for each one in addition to giving the common name, the botanical name, the source of the essence, where the plant is cultivated, what the aroma is like, and which perfume note the essential oil has. Finally, the author describes multiple ways to use essential oils (massage, aromatherapy baths, infusions, compresses, etc.) and lists a variety of ailments along with the essential oils that are purported to treat them.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m skeptical of many of aromatherapy’s claims, feeling that there simply isn’t sufficient scientific evidence to encourage (or discourage) the use of aromatherapy. The “practical” portions of this book tend to make me more skeptical, as they give wildly improbable and unscientific potential mechanisms for aromatherapy’s action (smells don’t purify the blood, the liver does.) Furthermore, I struggle with all the contradictory results – oils that are both stimulating and relaxing? But that says more about the state of the science on aromatherapy than it does about this particular book.

For those interested in learning about the history of aromatics or in the steps to do a full-body aromatherapeutic massage, this would be a good resource. I enjoyed reading it.

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: Almost Green by James Glave

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I found it amongst the library’s construction-related books, so I must have known, when I picked it up, that James Glave’s Almost Green: How I Saved 1/6th of a Billionth of the Planet was about building. But by the time I got around to reading it, I had forgotten.

By that time, I thought maybe it was a generic “how I learned to be green” book. Which I don’t mind – it’s always fun to see what other people do to be green (the more potentially ridiculous, the better – solar cookers, composting toilets, peeing on your garden…)

The prologue, in which the author waxes eloquent about how he hates that he drives an SUV (but still does it anyway), had a paragraph explaining what the book was actually going to be about – so I did get some warning. I also learned, by the end of the prologue, that I dislike the author.

Why?

Because in the prologue, the author reveals that

  • He cusses. I consider cussing to be a sign of lack of intelligence – and that cussing in writing, where you have time and opportunity to choose your words carefully, is a sign of lack of writing ability.
  • He is apocalyptic. He believes in anthropogenic global warming (I am skeptical about the “anthropogenic” part) – but I expected that. What I have a hard time tolerating (whether by environmentalists or by Christians) is apocalytic thinking: “The sky is falling, the sky is falling.” Glave writes: “You probably already know that global warming presents the single greatest threat to humanity in all of history and the most profound challenge we face as a civilization.” Let’s just say I don’t know that and I can think of much greater threats and much more profound challenges.
  • He’s an eco-consumer. He states he was predisposed against “Eco Chic” (buying cool new “green” things) – but then clearly buys into, well, buying things. My own brand of environmentalism is all about avoiding waste – and Glave already reveals that he’s drunk the consumer-mentality Koolaid.

The body of the book got a little more interesting (to me) because the author was talking about his building process, about building materials, about home positioning and insulation and window e-values. And since Daniel and I are in the process of building our own home, that sort of thing is interesting to me.

But even as the body of the book became more interesting, my dislike for Glave remained.

Why?

  • He makes excuses. He says that global warming presents “the single greatest threat to humanity in all of history”, but then he makes all sorts of excuses for why he can’t possibly do the things that he knows would be best for avoiding that threat (for instance, live in a smaller space.) Now, I know there are plenty of things I could do to be more green – and I’ve made choices that aren’t the greenest. But I don’t think the world is ending because of my choices. I’m not weighing “keeping my kids occupied with lots of plastic and electronics in a too-large house” versus “the end of humanity” and choosing keeping my kids occupied with lots of plastic and electronics in a too-large house.
  • He makes poor trade-offs. Okay, so Glave is committed to making his studio very eco-friendly – and that’s great. He knows that trade-offs will have to be made. Unfortunately, the trade-offs he makes are not pulling his weight with family finances (he was supposed to bring in a certain amount of business with his writing, but slacked on that as he became consumed with his building project) and spending money that he and his wife had budgeted for other things (telling his wife after the decision had already been made). In my opinion, a green studio isn’t worth that price. (But…but…we discover at the end that he has found himself! And surely, self-discovery is worth failing to provide for your family, going back on your word, and being silently deceptive with your wife. Surely!)
  • He’s a chronological snob. He claims that heritage-style homes (made with old-timey features) are the ruination of the earth, stating that “Victorians had different priorities” and implying that historical building is by nature non-green. But he obviously never bothered to study the history of architecture or why homes have been built the way they were in the past. Yes, olden-days homes didn’t have styrofoam insulation or double-pane argon-filled glass – but they were built with local (often sustainable) materials, were designed to maximize heat retention in the winter and coolness in the summer, and were generally designed on a much smaller scale than we build today. (Yes, we see the big houses that remain – but even those were often not as big as we think, especially once we calculate how many people were living in each of those big houses.)
  • He calls those of us who prefer to minimize waste (and avoid the consumer race) “sanctimonious” – as in, “the more sanctimonious greens love to crow about the energy and emissions that go into manufacturing a new vehicle.” And after he’s spent an entire book looking down on his neighbors, his father-in-law (who gave his family the SUV mentioned in the prologue), and pretty much everyone as being not as green as he is – that feels like a slap in the face.

No. I don’t recommend this book. I think the author is a jerk.

Rating: 1 star
Category: Green building Memoir
Synopsis: The author describes the process of building a “green” studio in his yard.
Recommendation: I don’t recommend this. The author is a jerk.