Remember how someone said to never talk to strangers?
David Wygant suggests that to find the love of your life, you must do exactly the opposite.
Since dating is a numbers game, Wygant surmises, the more people you meet, the more people you’ll date. And the more people you date, the better your chance of meeting the love of your life.
Wygant lays out his “three simple tips” in Always Talk to Strangers:
- Prepare before you leave the house
- Figure out when and where to meet people
- Meet them
In 218 very readable pages, Wygant breaks down his three simple tips. First, he says, you need to make sure you’re reasonably attractive to the opposite sex by getting a mental and physical makeover. Second, you need to recognize opportunities to meet people (He suggests blind dating, internet dating, and meeting people around town.) Third, you need to know how to approach someone, introduce yourself, strike up a conversation, and end with their phone number in hand.
I found that Wygant’s overall philosophy makes a lot of sense. The simple fact of the matter is that if you want to marry a man, you first have to meet him. So if you increase your meetings, you should be increasing your odds of marrying.
Of course, there’s a lot more that goes into it than that–but Wygant’s focus is on the odds. He’s not going to tell you how to do things once you’re in a relationship–he’s just telling you how to meet people.
I can respect that. It’s refreshing to read something with such a narrow (maybe?) focus.
As I read, a couple of thoughts kept running through my head. The first was that all that meeting and dating sounds exhausting (On one occasion, the author suggests arranging dates at least four evenings a week–with different people that you’ve met online or around town). The second thought was “This wouldn’t have to just be about getting a date.”
The fact is, the “techniques” for meeting people could just as easily be used simply as a way of developing relationships with people around you. Socially isolated mothers could use it to maybe find some adult conversation on their limited forays out of the home. Christians who work in some form of “ministry” could use it to meet unbelievers with whom to share Christ (Yes, I know there are plenty of us who, at some time in our lives, have had virtually no contact with unbelievers.) Awkward folks (like me) could use it to develop friendships when they’re transplanted into a new context (a new job, a new town, a new school…) The possibilities are endless–and the techniques (recognizing opportunities to meet people in unexpected contexts, directly approaching people, using props to strike up a conversation, asking for someone’s number in a non-creepy way) are useful.
On the other hand, some of the information is specific to seeking out a date as opposed to just a friend. The author talks a fair bit about sex appeal and about telling someone you think they’re attractive (probably not the best “pick up” line for a same-sex friend). Also, the chapters on blind dating and internet dating are pretty much only applicable for someone seeking a date.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, Wygant is a secular author–with all the inherent values (or lack thereof). He takes a female liberation standpoint on girls taking initiative in relationships. He’s heavy on “sexy” and not so much on shared values or ideas. He apparently has no qualms about people jumping into the sack with each other at a moment’s notice.
So there are definitely things one wouldn’t want to learn from this book.
Nevertheless, it was an interesting read and one that I sort of wish I could put (partially) into practice.
Truth is, though, I’m struggling to keep my head above water without a lot of additional relationships. I simply don’t have the time or the energy to be actively pursuing a relationship right now. Maybe after I get my dietary manager done with her classes…
Rating:2 Stars
Category:“Relationships”
Synopsis:How to increase your odds of meeting “the love of your life” by meeting more people.
Recommendation: I can’t really decide. If you struggle to meet people (like I do) but really want to meet more people, this could be useful (if taken with a good dose of good sense). Otherwise, well, it’d be pretty pointless, wouldn’t it?