disappointment | bekahcubed

“You have such expectations,” my Dad tells me again–the third or fourth time. “and it sets you up for great disappointments. You see, I never really expected much from myself or from life. And so when I turned out to have a wonderful life, I was pleasantly surprised. You have great expectations, so when things don’t turn out the way you expected, you’re disappointed–even if your life is still objectively quite good.”

It’s an observation, not a statement that his way is better or worse than mine.

But I think of it when I read these words in Anne of Green Gables:

“You set your heart too much on things, Anne,” said Marilla with a sigh. “I’m afraid there’ll be a great many disappointments in store for you through life.”

“Oh, Marilla, looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them,” exclaimed Anne. “you mayn’t get the things themselves; but nothing can prevent you from having the fun of looking forward to them. Mrs. Lynde says, ‘Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed.‘ But I think it would be worse to expect nothing than to be disappointed.“

I’m glad my Dad doesn’t make light of my aspirations, like Mrs. Lynde and Marilla seem to of Anne’s. But his observations–and those of Marilla, Anne, and Mrs. Lynde–do make me think.

I do expect a lot from life. I expect a lot from myself.

I want to do, I want to be, I want to see, I want to hear, I want to write. I want to live an extraordinary life. I want to do extraordinary things. I want to be an extraordinary person.

I have great expectations.

But, as my dad and Marilla and Mrs. Lynde observe, it does set me up for more disappointments than if I hadn’t such expectations.

I end up with less time and energy than I thought I’d have even after moving permanently to Columbus–and I’m disappointed not to be able to accomplish the grandiose expectations that I’d had for how my first few months in Columbus might look.

I find myself in a corner of dietetics I didn’t expect to find myself in, in a corner of the state I didn’t expect to find myself in, with…

I find that life is very different than what I expected.

On the other hand, like Anne, I love the expectation itself–the dreaming, the planning, the process of trying to make the dreams become reality. I still haven’t taken that bike ride across Nebraska, but I’ve loved what training I’ve done (I’ve trained gung ho three springs in a row, only to find busyness and/or medical issues stymie the actual completion), I’ve loved the planning, I’ve loved the bike rides taken with friends in the meantime.

And, as my Dad points out, my high expectations, while not always achievable, have enabled me to achieve a great deal more than someone who just floats through life with no goals or expectations.

My dad makes it clear that my driven personality is not a fault but a blessing. But he is also quick to caution that it can become a fault. When I become so focused on results that I ignore people. When I become so focused on unmet expectations that I fail to be thankful for unexpected blessings. When I set my heart on things instead of Christ.

And ultimately, that is what it comes down to.

“You set your heart too much on things,” Marilla says.

She’s right. I do.

Not that there’s anything wrong with doing things, having things. Neither the doing of things nor the desire to do things is wrong. It’s the setting of my heart on things that is wrong.

“Do not trust in extortion
or take pride in stolen goods;
though your riches increase,
do not set your heart on them.”
~Psalm 62:10, NIV (c)1984

I was made to do great things.

It is right that I desire to do great things.

But my heart was made to be set on Christ.

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”
~Colossians 3:1-4, NIV (c)1984

Be sure to follow through with Barbara H’s meme “The Week in Words”, where bloggers collect quotes they’ve read throughout the week.

I’m reading Anne of Green Gables as a part of Carrie’s L.M. Montgomery Reading Challenge. Check out the link to see what others are saying about (or reading of) L.M. Montgomery this month

A reminder for all the ladies out there: Even the most amazing man on earth is still only human. He can’t meet all your needs. He can’t fill all your holes. He can’t love you like you desire. It’s not necessarily that he doesn’t want to. It’s that he CAN’T. He’s only human.

And for the guys? Even the most amazing woman out there is still only human. She can’t supply what’s lacking in you. She can’t respect you like you desire. She can’t meet all your needs. It’s not necessarily that she doesn’t want to. It’s that she CAN’T. She’s only human.

It’s sad news for those of us who have bought into the romantic notion that satisfaction can be found in the perfect love relationship. We think that if only we had the right guy (or gal), we’d be content, we’d be happy, we’d be satisfied.

But contentment can’t be found in any man on earth. Happiness can’t be found in any man on earth. Satisfaction can’t be found in any man on earth. Because any man on earth is only human.

The good news is, there is a man who is more than just human. There is a man who can perfectly satisfy our every need and desire. There is a man who can fill your every longing. There is such a man, a man who is more than just human–but He can’t be found on this earth.

John 1 speaks of this man saying “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God….And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:1,14)

Jesus Christ is fully human, but not only human. He is also fully God. (And the Word WAS God.)

While any man (or woman) on this earth will disappoint, Jesus Christ never will. He promises to “never leave you or forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) Nothing can separate you from His love (Romans 8:38-39). He will “supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19) And, He “who promised is faithful.” (Hebrews 10:23)

Fully God and fully man, Jesus Christ is the only one who will never disappoint.

As we begin our discussion of relationships, I’d like to start with a discussion of the MOST important relationship we can have–the relationship that puts everything else in perspective. I’d like to ground our whole discussion in relationship with Christ.

Because if you are looking for satisfaction in any other human, you will be disappointed. Today, and throughout this “Love Month”, I encourage you to seek satisfaction in the only man who is NOT only human–seek and find your satisfaction in Christ. He will never disappoint.

WiW: Great Expectations

Only Human