In our 20s Sunday School, I’m fond of asking for “questions, comments, observations?” as we read each passage. But sometimes I forget to answer my own questions when I’m doing my personal reading. I read the word as I would a novel, taking it as it comes, doing it to pass time–or because “I’m reading every book in Eiseley Library.
I want to know God, to have an encounter with Him in the Word. I want to see God and to hear His voice through the Word. I want the Word to come alive. But it doesn’t seem that it is so–and even asking for it seems so often to be another dry religious ritual. Either I’m passionlessly asking for passion, or I’m conjuring emotion. It feels fake.
Sunday morning in Sunday school, I shared a bit of my struggles with the class–that just happened to be Debbie and two of my brothers. And I resolved yesterday that I was going to keep on seeking, keep on knocking. I resolved that even if I go through the flames, I will worship God and Him only.
Last night I read Matthew 4–and for the first time in a long time, I asked myself for questions, comments, and observations. And, to my surprise, I discovered a lot.
For instance, have you ever noticed that verse says that Jesus was “led by the Spirit into the wilderness”? The Spirit was leading; Jesus was following–and He ended up in the wilderness. So often when I end up in a wilderness, I get depressed because I figure that either the Spirit isn’t leading or I’m not following. I end up either mad at God or full of condemnation towards myself. But the Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness.
And then I noticed something new about the first temptation. Jesus had been fasting 40 days. He was hungry. The devil comes to Him and says “If you are the Son of Man, command these stones to become bread.” Now that’s a strange temptation. What’s sinful about making stones into bread? Jesus made water into wine–working that type of miracle apparently isn’t taboo. So why not just do it?
Jesus’ answer was deeper than the devil expected, I’m sure. “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” The devil was urging Jesus to give into His body’s hunger. Satan would have loved for Christ to be ruled by the needs of His body, by the cares of His flesh. Satan would have loved it if Jesus had become concerned about what He was going to eat, where He was going to sleep, what He would wear. From the devil’s perspective–it would have been great if Jesus had lived for food and by His body’s hunger.
But the devil’s wish was denied. “Man doesn’t live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” I can see a bit of a double meaning in Jesus’ answer. Man can’t live on physical food–He must also be fed by the Word–that’s our traditional interpretation (and it’s correct too). But isn’t it also true–and do not Jesus’ actions illustrate that man cannot be led by his hunger for physical food–but He must “live by” and be led by the Word of God.
It was and continues to be a moment of slow epiphany for me. I “knew” the first meaning–and that’s why I kept plugging on with reading the Word–but the second meaning was lost in the shuffle. I was being led by my body–by going to work to pay the bills and coming home and keeping the house clean and eating meals and fulfilling all those things my body (and flesh) demands. I was simply seeking Maslow’s hierarchy of “needs”. But I was not living by the Word of God–I was not being led by the Word–such that at God’s word I travel or stand still.
Help me Lord, to live beyond bread–beyond the worries of this world. Help me to live by your word–hearing Your voice and obeying, following Your leading–whether to the garden or to the wilderness.