How Others See Me

As part of a professional development exercise, Dr. K asked the interns to have a friend fill out a little worksheet. The worksheet contained several dozen adjectives. The friend was supposed to circle ten to fifteen adjectives they felt described the person in question (the intern.)

The instructions read, “Ask someone who is close to you–spouse, sibling, roommate, or friend–to circle 10 to 15 traits that describe you.” I chose my sister–who fits into the “sibling”, “roommate”, and “friend” categories.

She circled the following traits:

• Active
• Frugal
• Idealistic
• Independent
• Persuasive
• Responsive
• Scientific
• Determined
• Liberal :-P
• Precise
• Radical

When we were asked to read aloud the traits our friends had circled, Dr. K hummed and nodded for several of my classmates. She agreed with their friend’s analysis of them. For me, she didn’t so much. Her response was more of a “Hmm” (with the head nod that indicates she didn’t see it at all.)

I guess I’m not really surprised that she didn’t agree with my sister’s analysis (even if I agreed with her analysis just fine). You see, I’m rather good at compartmentalizing–at choosing which aspects of my personality to show in different settings.

Personally, I think it’s the radical that threw Dr. K off–and I can understand why it might. After all, I don’t generally broadcast the more radical aspects of my being within a professional setting. Class isn’t really the best place to bring up my radical views regarding childbirth. And I’d prefer not to discuss my more radical environmental choices with any but my closest friends. If I’m going to rant about politics (another area of radicalism), I’d rather do it in a setting in which 1) I won’t offend anyone or 2) it doesn’t matter if I offend someone. In class and on the job doesn’t really fulfill either qualification. Since I consider many of my most radical choices to be PERSONAL choices–that I don’t want to push on others–I steer clear of getting too passionate about them among people who don’t know me well enough to know that just because I’m getting excited about the topic doesn’t mean I’m judging them for their lack of excitement about the topic. (Environmentalism, certain feminist/anti-feminist ideas, education, childbirth…quite a few topics fit under this category.)

So what do you think? From what you’ve seen of me and know of me, do those adjectives describe me? What are the first words that come to your mind when you think of me?

On the other hand, have you ever been in a situation where someone thought they knew you when they really didn’t? How did you deal with it? Did it bother you or did it just run right off your back?

Do you feel like you act the same and show the same side of yourself in every setting? Or are you more like me, showing certain sides of yourself only to certain people? Do you think that’s two-faced? Or do you think it’s smart?

I’m curious, how do others see me? How do others see you?