My car has a convenient automatic-lock-feature, with a not-so-convenient side feature. Say I’m getting out of my car in the Walmart parking lot and want to make sure my doors are all locked. So I open my door, get out, lean over, and push the automatic lock button on the inside of the door. Then I shut the door.
And my car honks its horn.
It drives me nuts. It’s absolutely pointless. And horn-honking is by far the most inappropriately used noise on earth. A horn is intended for one purpose and one purpose only: to get someone’s attention in order to avoid a collision. Despite the common usage of horns, they are not supposed to be used to convey your frustration with another driver, to get the attention of the person beside you so that you can wave at one another, or to leer at a walking female. And they DEFINITELY should not be used to say “Hey, I just locked my doors.”
The term “audio-terrorist” (so far as I know) was coined by my father years ago in reference to the unhappy habit several of us children possess: the habit of making noise that is absolutely bereft of meaning. “Audio-terrorism” is making noise for the sake of making noise. The term encompasses beatboxing, singing at the table, randomly clapping one’s hands or tapping one’s fingernails, and a whole host of other noises. An “audio-terrorist” is one who participates in audio-terrorism.
As a recovering audio-terrorist, I never really understood how frustrating and truly terror-inducing audio-terrorism can be. At least, not until I bought a car that happens to be an audio-terrorist.
Now, I live in fear of accidentally unleashing my car’s terrorism act on the world. I go to great lengths to avoid audio-terrorism. I do the auto-lock BEFORE opening the door. That way I know all the doors are locked. Then I have only to unlock my own door, get out, and re-lock my door. Or I circle my car, unlocking each door despite the presence of the auto-lock button.
The worst thing, though, is when I supervise a new driver and forget to warn them not to hit the auto lock button. The horn goes off and I feel as though I’ve unwittingly started a Madrasa of audio-terrorism training. I’m afraid that they’ll get the impression that it’s “cool” to honk for no reason. I’m afraid I’ve accidentally pushed these children towards this practice I have come to abhor: audio-terrorism.
I’ve thought a lot about this post ever since I read it. It particularly comes to mind when I’m locking the doors of my minivan. If I push the button on my keychain once to lock the doors, no horn sounds. If I push it twice, the horn beeps. Generally, I push it once because I don’t want to hear the horn; but if I’m not close enough to the car to hear it lock and if I want to make sure that it worked and the car is secured, then I push it again. If it had already locked, it beeps. Does that make sense?
Anyway, it’s probably a good thing that I live far enough from you that you don’t hear my audio-terrorism. :) I love that term.
You and your dad would go nuts in Cairo. Everyone there honks their horn ALL THE TIME as they’re driving. It’s insane. When we visited, we weren’t brave enough to drive ourselves; but we rode in a number of taxis (which are ridiculously cheap), and everywhere we went, whether the roads were crowded or not, whether it was day or night, whether there were two lanes or eight, the driver honked the horn the whole time we were moving. It’s a symphony of horns there. Crazy.