WiW: A Mother’s Ambitions

In my time of privation from library books–a full week (how could I bear it?)–I took to my own bookshelves to find a title I had not read for some time.

I arrived at Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women, which I have not read for at least ten years.

I found myself impressed as never before by Marmee’s wise counsels and dear dreams for her daughters.

In one conversation, Meg asks her mother if she has “plans” for her daughters, as one worldly woman had gossiped at a party Meg had attended. (The worldly Mrs. Moffat assuming that Mrs. March intended her daughters to marry money–and was thus ingratiating her family to the rich next door neighbor Mr. Laurence.)

“Mother, do you have ‘plans’, as Mrs. Moffat said?” asked Meg bashfully.

“Yes, my dear, I have a great many; all mothers do, but mine differ somewhat from Mrs. Moffat’s, I suspect. I will tell you some of them, for the time has come when a word may set this romantic little head and heart of your right, on a very serious subject…so listen to my ‘plans’, and help me carry them out, if they are good.”

Jo went and sat on one arm of the chair, looking as if she thought they were about to join in some very solemn affair. Holding a hand of each, and watching the two young faces wistfully, Mrs. March said, in her serious yet cheery way:

“I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good; to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send. To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman; and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. It is natural to think of it, Meg; right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it; so that, when the happy time comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy. My dear girls, I am ambitious for you, but not to have you make a dash in the world–marry rich men merely because they are rich, or have splendid houses,which are not homes because love is wanting. Money is a needful and precious thing–and, when well used, a noble thing–but I never want you to think it is the first or only prize to strive for. I’d rather see you poor men’s wives, if you were happy, beloved, contented, than queens on thrones, without self-respect and peace.”

“Poor girls don’t stand any chance, Belle says, unless they put themselves forward,” sighed Meg.

“Then we’ll be old maids,” said Jo stoutly.

“Right, Jo; better be happy old maids than unhappy wives, or unmaidenly girls, running about to find husbands,” said Mrs. March decidedly. “Don’t be troubled, Meg; poverty seldom daunts a sincere lover. Some of the best and most honored women I know were poor girls, but so loveworthy that they were not allowed to be old maids. Leave these things to time; make this home happy, so that you may be fit for homes of your own, if they are offered to you, and contented here if they are not…”

~Louisa May Alcott, from Little Women

Later, when Meg is being pursued by poor young man, Jo (desperate to keep her sister from leaving to marry) asks her mother if she wouldn’t rather Meg marry a rich man. Marmee replies:

“Money is a good and useful thing, Jo; and I hope my girls will never feel the need of it too bitterly, nor be tempted by too much….I’m not ambitious for a splendid fortune, a fashionable position, or a great name for my girls. If rank and money come with love and virtue, also, I should accept them gratefully, and enjoy your good fortune; but I know, by experience, how much genuine happiness can be had in a plain little house, where the daily bread is earned, and some privations give sweetness to the few pleasures. I am content to see Meg begin humbly, for, if I am not mistaken, she will be rich in the possession of a good man’s heart, and that is better than a fortune.”

Mrs. March desires that her daughters enjoy marriage. She desires that they not lack or experience undue hardship. But her greatest ambitions for her daughters is that they be virtuous, respected, and content.

How often my ambitions lie along the lines of Mrs. Moffat’s worldly ambitions rather than Marmee’s virtuous ones–but when I read of Marmee’s ambitions for her daughters, I cannot help but be ambitious for those same things.

Don’t forget to take a look at Barbara H’s meme “The Week in Words”, where bloggers collect quotes they’ve read throughout the week.