This is a continuation of Daniel’s and my story. Click on the “Our Story” tag for context.
I was actively at war against idolatry, but it was a private war. I hadn’t told anyone. At least, not in any detail. I had told Daniel a little about the Timothy Keller book, and had said “Even now, weeks from reading the book, I’m still thinking and praying about what I learned about idolatry, especially about idols in my own heart.”
Daniel had probed about my idols, and I was suddenly shy.
So far, we’d been writing lengthy messages back and forth, covering the usual get-to-know-you stuff and some more weighty intellectual topics. But we hadn’t entered the realm of the heart. This seemed a rather hefty topic on which to enter that realm. I hesitated.
At the same time, I was reading through 1 John daily. Just then, 1 John 1:7 began to stick out to me.
“If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, aand the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.”
I realized that I needed to confess my idolatry to another, that I needed to walk in the light regarding my longstanding sin. But I wasn’t sure Daniel was the best person to confess to.
I went to my friend Cathy to confess and ask for her advice.
After hearing me out, Cathy asked whether I thought it was wise that I was writing to Daniel just as God was working in my heart to overthrow the idol of marriage.
I confessed that I didn’t know, couldn’t decide. I didn’t feel that I was making Daniel my focus, didn’t think I was making marriage an idol again in my interaction with him. But I feared that I would, feared I’d been rash in accepting the introduction.
Cathy listened and agreed to pray with me about that decision. And so we did. For the next week, I earnestly entreated God to show me if He didn’t want me talking with Daniel just then. Cathy prayed too.
When we got together the next week, neither of us felt we’d received a definitive answer from God. In the absence of any word from the Lord otherwise, I continued writing Daniel.
Over the next couple of weeks, God confirmed through many sources the work that He had done in my life in overthrowing the idol of marriage. At last, I came to a peace with the fact that Daniel and I were getting to know each other.