This is a continuation of Daniel’s and my story. Click on the “Our Story” tag for context.
Biweekly calls became our standard and I looked forward to Wednesday night and Saturday afternoon conversations with Daniel. We talked very candidly about a wide variety of topics-from legalism and judgmentalism to childraising philosophies to evangelism to personality tests to how to discern whether a movie or a book is worth seeing or reading.
We continued writing one another and I’d shared my thoughts on a few controversial doctrines one Tuesday night-and then sat on tenterhooks all through the next day waiting for our evening conversation.
These topics-or specifically my stance on a couple of these topics–had been dealbreakers in previous relationships with men. Would Daniel think, like the others, that I was a heretic? Would he decide he didn’t want to talk to me anymore?
By this time, I was starting to confess to myself and to Cathy that I thought I liked Daniel.
I asked Daniel that evening what he’d thought of what I’d written-and was much relieved that he didn’t consider me a heretic. I was so relieved that I rather monopolized the later part of our conversation, going on and on about my views on some of those tricky theological points.
We wouldn’t be talking that Saturday, because Daniel had planned a camping trip/retreat so he could spend time with God. I knew this was important to Daniel-he’d mentioned some of the shopping and other preparations he’d been making for his trip.
I’d not realized exactly how big a deal this trip was to him until I saw his Facebook status update:
“Driving up into the Rockies with a manual, one of the funnest things ever. I can’t imagine how much less fun it would have been with an automatic.”
You see, I’d just assumed his retreat was a weekend thing and that he’d be camping right around where he lived. This status told me just how much I’d underestimated the scope of his trip.
I was still in 1 John and God had been speaking to me about walking in love and how love for the brethren is a sign that one is truly born again.
When I saw Daniel’s status, I realized how much I’d failed to love Daniel by not asking about his trp-a trip that was clearly very important to him.
We had communion at church the next day and I seriously considered letting the elements pass me by. I had sinned against my brother in my self-interested failure to ask about his life. I was torn up inside over my selfishness.
Once home from church, I knew what I should do. I wrote a quick message to Daniel:
“I’m wondering how long this retreat of yours is slated to last… I’m eager to hear all about it, but don’t want to interrupt your actually retreating. So pay me no mind until you’re done, but know that I’m interested in learning all about your camping and communing with God. :-)”
The moment I sent the message off, I was at peace again. I was in the process of rectifying the situation, learning to truly love my brother.