Most of my reading over the past month has fallen under one narrow category: premarital counseling.
Daniel and I were assigned four books to read in eight weeks time–which means we’ve been busy reading–and much of our reading has felt like the modern-day tale of a thirsty man trying to drink out of a fire hydrant.
Communication: Key to Your Marriage by H. Norman Wright has certainly felt that way.
It’s not hard to figure out what Communication is about–but, lest you think you’ve heard everything you need to know about communication… This book is special.
What makes this book so special is that there are questions every couple of pages all the way throughout–questions that don’t have to be discussed with your spouse, but ones that really should be discussed with your spouse.
For example, Wright discusses levels of conversation and then asks about each level: “When does this type of conversation occur in your marriage? Which of you tends to use this style of conversation most?”
After discussing obstacles to listening, Wright asks: “Of the nine obstacles to listening that were listed, which three will you select to work on this week? Which three would your spouse like you to work on? Discuss your lists to discover how you can assist one another.”
In addition to “standard” communication fare, Wright discusses sex differences in communication and personality differences in communication. I nodded my head and “Mmm-hmm”-ed my way through this section of the book, noting place after place where either my femaleness or my personality affects how I communicate. This was also where I felt like a desperately thirsty woman drinking from a fire hydrant.
Daniel and I had a wonderful time discussing the first three or four chapters bit by bit. But with only a couple of days before our next premarital counseling session, we still had a half dozen chapters to go–so we settled in on the couch for an evening of marathon reading.
Unfortunately, Daniel and I read at different paces–and we had so much to read that we just simply couldn’t stop every two pages to discuss.
Hence my (I think our) resolve to revisit this book after we are married, when we have plenty of time to talk through our different communication styles and preferences.
We’ve already benefited from some of the concepts within–and I have little doubt that Communication (both the book and the, uh, concept) will be a great resource for our marriage.
Rating:5 Stars
Category:Marital Communication
Synopsis:H. Norman Wright helps couples learn to communicate well in order to form a stronger marriage
Recommendation: This is definitely a worthwhile book for couples to work their way through–whether they think they have communication “issues” or not. (For the record, Daniel and I feel that we communicate pretty well with one another–but we still have plenty of room for improvement.)
I haven’t read that one but have read different things about communication in marriage. Definitely a helpful topic to revisit periodically. We communicated well during dating, engagement, and early marriage, too, but as you grow and get to know each other more and more, you do come up against those areas where you’re not “hearing” each other sometimes, for various reasons.