Get Thee a Wife

Benedick, for years one to mock the married state, now only moments into his own marriage experiences a sudden about face. He counsels his Prince, Don Pedro with these words:

“…Prince,
thou art sad; get thee a wife, get thee a wife:
there is no staff more reverend than one tipped with horn.”

~From Shakespeare’s “Much Ado about Nothing”

Here Shakespeare memorializes the plague that has apparently been striking the newly married for centuries: the sudden desire to see all their friends married as they are.

While I was never one to hold Benedick’s original view of marriage, I am just as quick to rush into his second view.

It started at my wedding, when one single friend told me of how another single friend was chatting up yet another single friend. The first told me that the third had refused to give the second her phone number (despite the first’s insistence.)

Oh, wouldn’t I love to see my friends happily married? I thought.

The sense only grew when the second single friend asked about the third single friend before we departed the reception hall.

Having experienced a whole hour or two of wedded bliss, I was determined that all my single friends should experience the same.

As I handed irises to each of the single ladies attending my wedding, thanking them for standing with me as single women. As I tried to affirm them where they are at right now, I inwardly prayed, “And if it’s Your will, send them husbands.”

Now, a month married, I look around the table at my Happy Food friends, many of whom are happily married. Then I see the single men and I send up that same prayer, “If it’s Your will, send them wives.”

My phone beeps and an alert reminds me to pray for different family members and friends. I begin with specific requests–but all too often my prayers for my single family and friends turns to marriage. “Lord, if it’s Your will, send her a husband. Lord, if it’s Your will, send him a wife.”

Why is marriage so on my mind? Why do I pray this for my single friends? Why do I, now that I am married, so quickly desire that all my friends be married too?

There are a number of reasons.

First, this isn’t entirely different than my pre-marriage prayers. Even as a single woman, I frequently prayed that my single friends would find spouses. I know that most of my single friends desire to be married–and I desire that their desires for a spouse be fulfilled. So I pray that God would send them spouses.

Second, I want them to experience what I have. I enjoy being married. I love Daniel. I love being married to him. I am deliriously happy. I want my friends to experience that same happiness. Oh, I know that one can enjoy being single, that one can be deliriously happy as a single person. And I want them to be happy whether married or single. But I have tasted the joy of marriage, and I want them to be able to experience the same.

And finally, I want them to see God’s grace as I have.

For the past while, I’ve been calling Daniel my EOG.

Evidence of Grace.

There are plenty of clear evidences of God’s grace strewn throughout our days. Sunrises, rainfall, heartbeats, new babies. All pictures of unmerited favor.

But today, as I think of God’s grace, the clearest picture that arises is that of my husband. That Daniel loves me, cherishes me, takes care of me is a gift from God, one that I do not deserve.

He is evidence of God’s grace.

And if a spouse can be an EOG to another, I want that to be so. I want my friends to wonder at the completely undeserved grace of God; I want them to receive something they do not deserve. I want them to marvel at how God could grant them a spouse, to thank Him for His incredible grace.

So I pray, “Get them spouses, Lord.”

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