You know how you feel almost compelled to complain when something’s going poorly, but don’t even notice when the object of your complaint is removed?
That happened to me this week.
I’d been telling a friend about these awful dreams I’ve been having, how I’ve been waking up around 2 or so every morning and then falling back into a fitful sleep with terrible dreams. Last night, she asked me how my last few nights have been–and I realized with astonishment that they’d been…good.
No dreams. No nighttime waking and tossing and turning. Just sleep.
I’m so thankful for the reminder to be thankful for the blessings.
This week I’m thankful…
…for sweet sleep
It’s something I so often take for granted, even with the memory of poor sleep still burning in my head–but I am so thankful for the last several nights of good sleep.
…for time to read
It shames me to think how much time in the past year I’ve spent complaining about how I never have time for my own pleasures anymore. I complained that I was either working, keeping our house, or socializing (Ugh!) and rarely had any time to do any of the things I used to love to do: reading, blogging, crafting… But that hasn’t been so lately. I’ve had good opportunities to read lately, and it has been wonderful.
…for friends
It’s different, friendships here in Wichita versus the friendships I’ve had for the rest of my life. It’s generally more work now than it was. There are more variables now that I’m married, now when we’re juggling “old” and “new” connections. But I am so glad for the friendships I have here in Wichita. I’m thankful for Megan, asking me how I was sleeping. I’m thankful for Amie and Angie and a night of testimony and theology and books. I’m thankful for Rachel, reminding me that we should get together and play Seven Wonders (now that she and Kendall know how to play). I’m thankful for Dave and Casey and for the happy “accident” of sitting behind them in church.
…for a church that’s becoming home
It was very difficult for me, moving to Wichita and trying to assimilate into Daniel’s church. Even now, it’s difficult to articulate the reasons I didn’t quite fit–it’s a wonderful church with wonderful people, it just wasn’t my church. It was very difficult for us, beginning a church search. It made me despair that I’d become to consumer-minded, that I was expecting too much from a church. But now we’ve settled at a church, we’re starting to build relationships here–it’s becoming home. I am so thankful that God has brought us to this place.
Even as I look over this list of past complaints that God has graciously resolved, I wonder at my own theology. Am I wrong to thank God when He removes those pesky, bothersome complaints? Should I not be thanking Him for the pesky bothersome things? Should I not be thanking Him that in His sovereignty He has made life hard for me?
Yes. I should be thanking Him for making life hard.
And I should be thanking Him for making life easy.
For now, I will say with the psalmist:
“The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.”
~Psalm 16:5-6 (ESV)
Thank you, Lord, that you have drawn the lines in pleasant places for me. And thank you, Lord, that even when the lines appear unpleasant, I have YOU, my chosen portion, my cup, my beautiful inheritance. How can the lines not fall in pleasant places, when YOU are my lot?