Grandma on childbirth and baby feeding

I was telling my grandma about our Bradley class (I think) when she commented that she’d heard about natural childbirth somewhere toward the end of her childbearing years. She told her doctor she’d like to try. He told her no, she didn’t. She had twelve children, including one set of twins. None were born “naturally”.

I was talking with Daniel’s grandma early on in our marriage (before we were pregnant) and somehow we got on the topic of childbirth and breastfeeding.

She doesn’t remember anything about how her children were born – she was out for their delivery.

She didn’t even see her babies for a fair while after they were born – but she breastfed all four.

Daniel’s other grandma didn’t breastfeed her children. “It wasn’t encouraged in those days,” she told me apologetically. Now she regrets that she didn’t “nurse”. She’s so glad I’m nursing Tirzah Mae. “It’s such a wonderful thing,” she said.

I was mentioning how NOT fun pumping had been when we’d had to do that – but that my supply had been abundant. My grandma told me she’d tried with her first but that it didn’t work out. Grandpa complained about all the money that Similac got from them – twelve children’s worth.

None of Tirzah Mae’s great-grandmother’s had ideal situations. But they managed the best they could. They raised their children with the resources that were available.

And they raised some pretty terrific children.

It’s worth remembering, even as I long for the ideal – and long that the ideal could be available to as many women as possible – that generations of women have experienced the less-then-ideal, have pressed through, have raised their families well.

Natural childbirth. Immediate skin-to-skin. Successful breastfeeding.

I wish that every woman had the physical capability and the support she needed to achieve them.

But when she doesn’t?

She can still mother well.

Take heart, mothers who feel disappointed with your birth or breastfeeding experiences. It’s okay to be disappointed. For those who were coerced, it’s okay to be upset. But your birth or breastfeeding experiences do not define your mothering.

You do.

Our grandmothers pressed through the less-than-ideal and raised our parents well. You can too.