Thankful Thursday: Borrowed Time

Since I’ve reached the point in pregnancy where I was already hospitalized with Tirzah Mae, every moment seems overwhelmed with wonder.

I’m in my own home! I’m not in the hospital! I still have a (decently) clean house! I am still making my own food! I’m walking on my own two feet! I’m not hooked to a blood pressure cuff 24/7! I am drinking and peeing on my own power! I don’t need daily ultrasounds! I don’t have to lie still for two hours so the nurses can get a 20-minute “strip” of baby’s heartbeat and my own uterine contractions!

Even the most mundane things feel surreal – as if I’m living in borrowed time, magic time.

I have a normal pregnancy at this point.

This week I’m thankful…

…for a walk in the park
As this pregnancy continues to progress, exercise becomes more and more difficult. My knees and hips are looser and my balance is off – making it harder to do the squats and lunges that are the staple of my lower body routine. I’ve developed carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands (not uncommon during pregnancy) – making push-ups impossible and my other upper body activities (with free weights) more difficult. But I’ve been on bed rest before and there’s no way I’m letting myself decondition to that degree if I don’t have too – which means I need to find a way to keep active, even if I’m less motivated to do my usual routine. Daniel has been obliging, taking a walk with me along the river on Saturday, and running circles around Tirzah Mae and I as we strolled around another local park on Monday. I’m still aiming to do my usual routines at least once a week (an upper body, a lower body, and a core routine) – but it’s lovely to mix it up with some outdoor walking every other day or so.

…for a strong finish
I’ve greatly enjoyed teaching 3-year-old Sunday School this year. It’s been stretching in the best way – helping me to hone in on the main point of a text, encouraging me to think of activity “centers” that can spark conversations about the “big ideas” of a text. It’s also been stretching in a not-so-fun way. It’s the weekly struggle to get out of the house to be at church half an hour before Sunday School starts, with Tirzah Mae’s bags packed for both nursery (during the Sunday School hour) and the service (where we try to keep her with us.) Now that Sunday School has switched to its summer schedule, I’m glad to have a respite from the mad dash on Sunday mornings – but I know I’ll miss the lesson planning and brainstorming.

…for a landmark day
Tirzah Mae turned 19 months on Tuesday – which also means that it’s now been 19 months since my uterus was cut to allow her to enter the world. It’s best for a uterus to have 18 months to recover from an incision before it has to endure labor again – and mine has now had its 18 months plus one.

…for a good report
Yesterday’s OB visit was unremarkable – which is remarkable in and of itself. My blood pressure there was the same as its always been, my urine showed no protein. No concerns. I should keep doing what I’m already doing. I cried with relief as I drove on to our next task.

…for convenience items
I love to make our own bread, our own yogurt, our own laundry detergent. I can make a higher quality product for less money, and I enjoy “doing it myself”. But as this pregnancy progresses and I need to get off my feet more frequently, I’ve been reminded of the blessing that is prewashed lettuce in a bag, prebaked bread (also in a bag), and the first container of laundry detergent I’ve bought in six or seven years. I don’t have any intention of permanently switching to those products, but it’s nice to have them available when life intervenes.

And when I get done listing the nice-things-I’m-thankful-for, I fear that I may fall into the trap of thanking God only when things are going the way I want them to. I pray that isn’t the case.

Because ultimately, not being hospitalized isn’t the greatest blessing of this week. All the many wonderful conversations and conveniences aren’t the greatest blessing. The greatest blessing is that…

“Christ hath regarded my helpless estate
and hath shed His own blood for my soul.”

What! All this, and Christ too?