I’m 54% Nebraskan

I’m currently out of town (and out of state) for the American Dietetics Association’s annual professional meeting: the Food and Nutrition Conference and Expo (FNCE-pronounced Fence-EEEE). So, for your reading enjoyment, I’ve completed a little quiz to discover how native I really am to the great state in which I’ve always resided!

If you’re from Nebraska (or even if you’re not), take it and share your score. If you don’t want to learn how Nebraskan YOU are, read through it anyway and learn just a little bit about NEBRASKA–THE GOOD LIFE.

[X] You were born in Nebraska

[X] You’re proud that you’re not from one of those square states

[ ] You know all the words to There is No Place Like Nebraska

Hmm…Do I know all the words? Let’s think: “There is no place like Nebraska, good old Nebraska U where the girls are the fairest, the guys are the squarest at good old Nebraska U”–Nope, I missed the fifth line–and don’t even know the second verse except the “Where we all stick together in all kinds of weather at good old Nebraska U.”

[X] You remember your first trip to Memorial Stadium

[ ] You’ve met Tom Osborne and it was a moving experience

Total: 3

[X] You know THE game refers to that week’s college football game

[X] You claim to be a Husker fan since birth (Can anyone born in Nebraska not be?)

[X] You can pronounce Norfolk (Nor-fork), Beatrice (BE-at-triss), and Kearney (Car-knee)

[X] You know the story of why Norfolk is misspelled.
Course I do–It’s named after the North Fork of the river but the clerk thought they were trying to copycat Norfolk, VA (yeah right). Anyway, the clerk changed it to Norfolk and there we have it. I understand there was once a petition given to change the official spelling to Norfork (like it should have been in the first place)–but the application was denied for whatever reason.

[ ] You voted/rooted for Tom Osborne for Governor
Nah–my love of football doesn’t go that far. I voted for Nabity in the primary and Heineman in the November race. Nabity was really my man-it was a bummer he ended up (unexpectedly) running against the former football coach and an incumbent Republican governor.

Total: 4

[X] You take pride in knowing that on Saturdays, Memorial Stadium is the third largest city in the state.
(I might be cheating by marking this. I don’t take pride THAT if Memorial Stadium were a city, it would be Nebraska’s third most populous on game days–but I do take some pride in knowing that particular factoid. Then again, what Nebraskan DOESN’T know that? Oh, yeah. I guess that’s the point of this little ma-jigger!)

[X] You know that the statue on the dome of the state capital is actually sowing seed – not bowling.

[X] You can drive through towns like Wahoo with a straight face.

[X] You know what “knee high by the Fourth of July” refers to.

[] You list your religious preference as “Cornhusker.”
Actually, I grieve over the idolatrous place Husker football in many Nebraskan’s hearts. I think of that factoid about Memorial Stadium being the third largest city and sorrow that we have built such a priesthood, such a temple to serve a dead god.

Total: 4

[ ] You consider using your life savings to go to the Colorado-Nebraska football game.
Actually, I’ve never BEEN to a football game. I sold ice cream at one once—and got to see a touchdown during my brief time walking the stands–but I’ve never paid real money to see the Huskers, and would certainly never consider using my life savings to do so.

[X] There’s a tornado warning and you go outside to watch for it.
Doesn’t everyone?

[ ] You think Abraham Lincoln was named after the capital of Nebraska.

[ ] “Little Smokies” are something you serve on special occasions.

[ ] You think the “Red Sea” refers to the football stadium on Saturdays.
Actually, that’s completely inaccurate. The football stadium is not “The Red Sea”, it’s the “Sea of Red.” Get it right, people.

Total: 1

[ ] Using the elevator involves a corn truck.
I’m a city girl. But that doesn’t mean I’m not FAMILIAR with the use of elevators and grain trucks.

[X] You know cow pies aren’t made of beef.
It takes a true ignoramus to not know this one.

[X] You actually buy manure.

[X] You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart.
You mean some people can’t? Those are two pretty distinct odors.

[ ] You consider any building a mall, if it’s bigger than the local Wal-Mart.

Total:3

[X] Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
Well, if there are lots of vehicles going the opposite direction, that makes for quite a jam.

[ ] You know several classes were cancelled because of the cold
I cry foul on this one. It is only in recent years that Nebraskans have become such wusses about cold. I refuse to consider this as an appropriate question to determine one’s Nebraskan-ness.

[ ] Your school classes were canceled because of the heat.
Lincoln Public Schools routinely has shortened schedule for the first week of school because of heat. I ditto the above.

[X] You switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
Not in my house–that’d be ridiculously wasteful. Turn on a fan or grab a blanket. But in the car? All the time.

Total: 2

[X] You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition… Example: “Where’s my coat at?” (Only occasionally)

[X] You can actually locate Nebraska on the United States map.
It’s, like, the easiest to find. It’s uniquely shaped, it’s right in the middle, and it’s relatively large (land mass wise). How can anyone not locate Nebraska?

[ ] Detassling was your first job.

[ ] You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

[ ] You can’t understand why Johnny Carson ever left.

Total: 2

[ ] You laugh at people who drive under 50 on gravel roads
Dangerous idea. Obviously it’s a kid who wrote this one. Happens I know the stats about kids driving too fast on Nebraska gravel roads. Only time you wanna go 50 is if the road’s straight, wide, and flat. Otherwise, you’re asking for disaster.

[X] You learned the finger wave at an early age

[ ] You think vegetarians shouldn’t be allowed in Nebraska

[ ] You eat at Runza at least once a week

[ ] Your mail comes addressed with your name and your town and you still don’t get it.
I don’t understand this one. I always get my mail. And my grandparents used to get theirs too–even when the letter was addressed to “Grandma and Grandpa Cook, RR 2.” This question makes no sense.

Total: 1

[ ] It’s called pop.
I’m in the process of switching to soda. Sorry, folks.

[X] You bring your groceries home in sacks
Actually, I don’t. I use homemade grocery totes. But most people bring their groceries home in sacks. What does the rest of the world use?

[X] You don’t have an accent and are proud of that
Darn tootin’. TV and radio personalities everywhere want to learn Nebraska’s accentless English. We ARE standard American English.

[X] Out West refers to western Nebraska
As in Scott’s Bluff, Chadron, etc. Panhandle land. Mountain time. Of course.

[X] You can draw the state outline without looking at a map

Total: 4

[X] You’re proud of things invented in Nebraska
Dorothy Lynch and Wimmers Weiners. Kool-Aid, not so much.

[X] You think nothing of Hooker County
Actually, I do think of them a little. But I don’t think much of them. They are, after all, the only county in Nebraska to vote for Bill Clinton in 1996.

[ ] You wear Husker apparel to church
Nah. I’m too formal for that. But many people do.

[ ] You refuse to get married in the Fall in fear of missing a football game
I wouldn’t go that far–but you definitely do need to consider football traffic (and the attention of your guests) if you decide to get married on a game day.

[ ] You believe Nebraska really is the good life and could never leave
The first part is true. Nebraska really is the good life. But does that mean I could never leave? Probably not. Should God lead me elsewhere, I would rather go with Him and lose Nebraska than disobey Him and keep this state.

Total: 2

Grand Total: 26

Now I’m supposed to multiply the grand total by 2 to get my percent Nebraskan-ness. So I guess I’m 54% Nebraskan. Now, just for the record, as a Nebraskan, I cry foul on 5 of those questions, saying I have no idea why they might be said to typify Nebraska. If they were switched out for some more truly Nebraskan questions, I might have scored higher. I am after all, pretty darn Nebraskan :-)