Passable

I’ve been teaching myself to play the piano–making faltering steps then giving up, just to take the task up again later. The progress has been slow–after more than two years of off and on practicing, I’m still only in book 2 of Faber & Faber’s curriculum. In addition to my sporadic practice schedule, a primary contributing factor in my slow progress may be my difficulty in “passing” myself on to the next song.

Both of my sisters have mentioned it to me before: “That’s one of the advantages of having a teacher–they can tell you when to go on to the next song.” As it is, I have a tremendously hard time deciding when I can progress.

At first, I insisted on perfection. My notes must all be correct, my timing impeccable, and the dynamics appropriate. Which meant that I spent forever practicing the same several songs. The thing was, I got bored with the first few songs–so I kept adding more and more–but without giving myself permission to stop practicing the first few songs. So practice sessions grew until I was playing half the book every time I sat down at the piano.

Then, slowly, my sisters’ wisdom began to sink in. I didn’t have to be perfect. It was a waste of time and energy to continue to practice “Tinkling Windchimes” (made up name, not an actual song) in order to achieve perfection. I had already learned all that was necessary from practicing that song–I’d mastered the song–I just hadn’t performed it perfectly.

Today, I sat down at the piano and realized it had been almost a month since I’d “passed” a song. “I’m going to pass one tonight,” I spoke out loud, half to myself, half to my sister. “It’s been too long.” And I proceeded to play the song terribly. Never mind that I’d been playing it pretty well for nearly three months on a decently regular basis (3-5x/week). I played it just awfully. My timing was off, I was missing notes. It was horrid.

I observed that the harder I try, the worse I do–the more I strive after “perfection” the more I realize how far from perfect I am. But I refused to give up. I was going to pass a song tonight, I had decided. So, after a couple of false starts (caused by my trying to play and talk at the same time), I played the song through again. And this time, I only faltered once. “That’s pass-able” I told myself.

And that’s when it struck me. Passable. It’s a word I’ve always despised, equating it with mediocrity. Passable: (adj) satisfactory but not outstanding; adequate. And that is what it means. In one sense, that is. But passable also means “that which can be passed, traversed, or crossed.” Passable means I can move on.

Because if I truly want to achieve excellence, if I really want to be outstanding, I’m going to have to move past my mistakes and keep learning. At some point, harping on those mistakes became a hindrance holding me back rather than a tool to spur me forward. It’s that point that I must aim to find–the point at which something is “passable”.

What’s holding you back today? What area are you waiting to get perfect before you move on with your life? I encourage you to take a hard look at that situation. How important is it that that certain thing be perfect before you move on? Is your pursuit of perfection getting in the way of accomplishment?

Just like I had to “pass” myself on some of those simple songs in order to free up some time to work on the more difficult songs, maybe you need to “pass” yourself in that area so that you can move on to something else.

“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid holdof me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Phillipians 3:12-14