My Covetous Heart

We were sitting on the dock, our feet in the water, discussing The Greener Grass Conspiracy.

I was telling her that I feel like I’m in one of those odd moments in life when I feel content.

In other words, my whole being is not currently burning for a husband, a house, or children. (My three favorite idols.)

I’m content, I say.

Until I realize how many things I’m still not quite content about.

I haven’t quite finished building my brand-new computer–but already, I’m wishing I could have justified another 4 GB of memory, a new hard drive instead of a recycled one. Already I’m questioning my decision to not buy a copy of Microsoft Office and to instead go with the FreeWare OpenOffice.

I’m the owner of a brand new camera, one I haven’t even begun to discover the features of–and already, I’m wishing I had more time in which to play with it. I’m wishing I were a bird-watcher like Janet and could take such beautiful photos of birds.

Duck and ducklings in lake

But even when I snap pictures of a mother duck with her little ducklings, out for a swim in the twilight, I am still not content.

Oh my discontent, my covetous heart!

Stephen Altrogge speaks truth when he says:

“The raging, covetous, discontented desires come from within. They’re not the product of my circumstances, and the desires won’t be satisfied when circumstances change.”

Because my covetous heart just finds another thing to envy.

So, Lord, may I seek contentment–and find contentment–in You, rather than in any circumstance, whether good or bad.

4 thoughts on “My Covetous Heart”

  1. Even though I try not to covet something…or someone, it is a daily battle of the flesh. Didn’t Paul say the things I hate (despise)I do…

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  2. What kind of camera do you have? (asks Janet, skipping conveniently over the convicting issues of this post…) That’s a gorgeous picture!

    I think there are good kinds of discontent — the kinds that spur us “further up and further in.” But the kind that makes me skip right over the here and now and into some completely imagined and “needed” (to reference your recent post on THAT subject) state — that’s the deadly kind. Great quote by Stephen Altrogge.

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  3. I agree with Janet — there are some kinds of discontent (or maybe dissatisfaction? Or is that the same thing?) that leads to growth and improvements. But I do know what you’re talking about. Even when we do get that thing we were wanting, either it doesn’t satisfy like we thought it would or we then want another thing. So thankful for God’s grace!

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  4. You hit the nail on the head – contentment isn’t about what we have or don’t have. It really is a heart-issue. I know people who have really discontent natures (and no, I’m not saying I never fall into this sin), but no matter what these people have, they remain discontent…..
    Definitely an issue of the heart. But you’re right too, to point us to the fact that we can often *think* we’re discontent (like me :) and then, I discover ‘out of the blue’ that my heart has this sin in it too. In abundance.
    Praise God that we are saved because of what *He* is, and not because of anything *we* are

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