My sister’s a jewelry lady (she sells it with Premier Designs), and we were sitting around the lunch table one day when she mentioned that the other jewelry ladies say she should never leave the house without five or six pieces of jewelry on.
My knee-jerk-reaction (which, of course, I said out loud–will I ever gain control of my tongue?) was to say that I don’t like people who wear that much jewelry. I really can’t be friends with people who have so little style.
Not surprisingly, my dinner companions were aghast at my statement.
Really? I judge people that harshly?
One friend made a crack about her own lack of style, diffused the situation.
But the incident remained in my head, kept me asking myself why I reacted in that way.
The truth is, I sometimes (often?) have abominable style. How is it that I might hold others to a higher style-standard than I hold myself? Or do I really?
It took much rumination to get to the bottom of my reaction…but I think I finally figured it out.
My perception of people who wear tons of jewelry is that they’re trying really hard to be fashionable. I don’t try very hard to be fashionable. In fact, I regularly flaunt fashion and wear downright ridiculous apparel (particularly when I wear my pajamas to Bible study–a pink polo dress, white leggings underneath, a huge white sweater over top and fuzzy brown moccasins?)
When I see people that I perceive to be trying really hard, I presume that they would be embarrassed by me–so I never even give them a chance.
Sure, I’ll greet them when we’re introduced. I’ll say a nice hello. But I won’t really try to be their friend. If I see them in the hall, unless they approach me or somehow acknowledge me, I’m not going to acknowledge them.
I assume that I’d only mess up the image they’re trying so hard (and, in my opinion, failing) to project.
But is that really a fair assumption?
No. It isn’t.
That’s letting my flesh take preference over brotherly love. It’s petty prejudice and it’s ugly.
So, with my eyes now open to my own petty prejudices, I’m out to love the world–even the world who’s wearing five or more pieces of jewelry.
You forgot to mention the green socks you were also wearing with your moccasins. :)
I had a friend in college who wore several pieces of jewelry at a time — none big or flashy, though — and changed her nail polish to match her clothes every day. But she was one of the sweetest people ever. If that’s all I had known about her before meeting her, I might have felt we had nothing in common. But I am so glad we became friends. She wasn’t trying to be overly fashionable, but she had been taught that those things were the basics of being presentable and even of maintaining a good testimony (whereas for most of us it’s a matter of making sure our hair is combed and we don’t have anything stuck in our teeth before we leave the house.)
Too often our assumptions get in the way of our relating with people. So glad you realized that and are making a change in outlook.
You’re not alone in this. If I see someone wearing (what I think is) too much make up I tend to judge them. Thanks for reminding me that I should love them with brotherly (Sisterly) love and not be judgemental.
Jonathan won’t let me wear my pjs out of the house which is pretty much the only thing that prevents me at times.
I’m not a jewelry person and frequently FEEL judged because my most comfortable state of attire involves jeans and an Old Navy t-shirt. I don’t have an EYE for fashion at all and so I kinda feel like people on both sides of the line should take it easy on the other. I can’t FATHOM putting on 5-6 pieces of jewelry. I’d feel weighted down! (My wedding ring is pretty much the only piece I wear.) I can’t remember another 5 things! Yikes! But sometimes I don’t do it just because I don’t know HOW to put it all together. So …anyway…both sides of things to learn.