Years ago, I wrote a brief post about Bill Gothard and what I remembered about the two Basic Life Seminars and one Advanced Life Seminar I attended. I wrote that I remember Gothard presenting lots of rules and “princibles”, but that I don’t remember Gothard presenting the gospel.
Two months ago, I received an e-mail from an individual I have never before heard of in my life. This individual referenced my post on Gothard and sent me a link to a website that helps the “spiritually abused” recover.
More recently, a bloggie-friend posted a list of books she was either reading or going to start reading–and mentioned a book by C.J. Mahaney.
Someone, who I have never seen commenting on this friend’s posts before, wrote the following in the comments: “It has been shown that [C.J. Mahaney] doesn’t practice what he teaches.”
So what I want to know is, what do these folks think they are accomplishing in making such comments?
The man who read my post about Gothard undoubtedly stumbled across my blog somehow or another and found himself moved with compassion at the spiritual abuse I clearly described myself to have suffered. Desperate to do something to help, he searched relentlessly for a resource that might be able to meet me where I was at.
And surely the man who commented on my blog-friend’s post saw something in her writing that demonstrated that she was likely to be led astray by Mahaney. I am convinced that he was attempting to save his sister from false doctrine.
Right?
I kinda doubt it.
A more likely scenario is that someone with a beef against Gothard googled “Gothard” and maybe “law” and ended up on my site. Having found an accounting of my personal experiences with Gothard, he read liberally between the lines to determine that I had been “spiritually abused.” Having seen what he was looking for (although not necessarily what was actually there), he did what he had been intending to do all along. “Help” some poor “victim” of Gothard’s false teaching.
A more likely scenario is that someone with a beef against Mahaney either deliberately searched out or accidentally stumbled over a post in which Mahaney’s book was described–and felt it necessary to “share” his “knowledge” about Mahaney.
These men might even consider this e-mail/blog-comment trolling to be a ministry–correcting falsehoods within the church.
Yet this approach strikes me as singularly unsatisfying.
Perhaps some individuals have suffered spiritual abuse at Gothard’s hands. I am not one of them. Anyone who knows me and has actually talked to me about Gothard knows that I bear no lasting damage as a result of Gothard’s teaching (in fact, whatever I may think of certain of his teachings and whatever I may remember or not remember about how the gospel was or was not presented, Gothard’s teaching on “unchangeables” was quite beneficial to me when I first heard it as an early teen.)
But my e-mailer did not know me. He failed in ministering to me because he did not know me well enough to diagnose my problems or to provide an appropriate solution. Instead, he ended up being an annoyance.
Likewise, what the commenter said about Mahaney may be true. Perhaps Mahaney does not practice what he preaches. But my blogger-friend who mentioned Mahaney’s book is not promoting Mahaney’s lifestyle, nor is she uncritically accepting Mahaney’s teaching. On the other hand, what the commenter said about Mahaney may be false. Perhaps Mahaney does practice what he preaches. How does my blogger-friend know that she can trust the (I presume unknown to her) commenter?
Judging from this commenter’s lack of previous comments on my friend’s posts, the commenter likely knows little about my blogger-friend–and my blogger-friend likely knows little of him. As a result, his comment is little more than idle words. I doubt they will keep my friend from reading the book she had already purposed to read–and I doubt they will change her way of reading the book. The comment ends up being just words on a page, well-meant, perhaps, but meaningless.
Because ministry and correction flow from relationship, not from a cursory reading of words on a page.
Does this mean that ministry or correction cannot occur through a blog or an e-mail? No.
I have been ministered to greatly through comments on my blog. I have received needed correction to my thoughts and attitudes as a result of comments or e-mails from my readers.
But those comments that ended up being ministry (either as encouragement or as correction) had a few features not found in the aforementioned comments about Gothard and Mahaney:
1. The comments that ministered were comments based on a careful reading of what was actually said
The commenters bothered to read what I said, to try to ascertain my intent in what I had said, and to get background when necessary (by reading other posts or asking questions.)
2. The comments that ministered were comments from people who proved their care.
The commenters proved that they cared more about me than about being right or about proving another person or idea wrong. They took initiative to build a relationship with me, to also comment on the trivialities that I posted–instead of just bursting out of nowhere to correct me.
3. The comments that ministered were comments that took their authority from the Word of God.
The commenters backed up their encouragement or their correction with Scripture (or, at the least, with principles from Scripture.) They told me where they felt that I had erred in my thinking in relation to what the Word of God says–or they affirmed my actions or thoughts in relation to what the Word of God says.
So tell me, have you ever been ministered to by a comment on your blog? What were some of the characteristics I’ve missed? Have you experienced any not-so-ministering comments (like the one someone sent me about Gothard)? I’d love to hear your stories.
Good thoughts here. This reminds me I meant to either respond to or remove the comment about Mahaney, and I forgot to. I don’t want to promote drive-by slander — I don’t think anyone really know what’s going on in the current situation with Mahaney, and it is unfair to judge him while the jury is still out, so to speak. Though I don’t know much about him, I think the charges against him came about in not the best or most Scriptural way. But this guy’s one and only comment on my blog isn’t going to carry the weight of someone who has been reading and sharing and building up a relationship, and in fact, it’s going to make me a little suspect of him if he ever comments again.
I do believe the Bible teaches to expose and warn against false doctrine, but people need to be sure it really is false doctrine before saying so, and to remember that “the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy” (James 3:17).
I have received many ministering comments in the form of encouragement and offered prayers. I’ve had difference of opinions expressed graciously and respectfully. But I’ve also had a few wacko ones. Once after the last presidential election, I wrote a post along the lines that even though some of us were dismayed by the outcome, we still had the privilege and the responsibility to make our voice known through letters to the editor, writing to our officials, etc. One man who identified himself as a Calvinist (but was more of a stoic fatalist) said that was of no use because God had preordained everything anyway. I brought up Scriptural examples of people who interceded with government officials (Esther, Nehemiah, Daniel, to name a few), all to no avail — he had his viewpoint and was sticking to it no matter what! I finally had to tell him that since the conversation wasn’t going anywhere, I was ending it.
Enjoyed this post very much. I agree that folks should not interject without knowing the person. For it to be received there must be a “connection”. I have been ministered to by a random comment. I may have written a post months ago and randomly someone will send me a word of encouragement just when I need it most! The Holy Spirit at work! Then I have been “attacked” so to speak in my beliefs on certain things. I do not let those posts get to my blog because I don’t want a negative tone set. I want my blog to be an encouragment to everyone. I am of the mind set that I don’t BASH the people that I disagree with. I just stir clear of them and their beliefs. I try to influence those in my life that I do have relationships with, those who know me and I know them…well. I also feel like when I comment, if I can’t say something good and nice, leave it alone. Don’t say anything.
Thanks for your comments, ladies.
Barbara-I feel much the same way as you about the Mahaney situation. The jury’s still out on Mahaney’s alleged wrong-doings, but I’m less than satisfied with his accuser’s methods of confrontation.
Monica-I generally agree with you about saying nice things and avoiding pot stirrers. In fact, seems to me there’s a verse about just that (“Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them.” Romans 16:17). At the same time, I don’t think all disagreement or debate is bad. I want my blog to be an encouraging place–and I also want it to be a place where iron sharpens iron. I want to be challenged and to challenge others–but I want the discussion to be profitable. (“But avoid foolish disputes, genealogies, contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and useless.” Titus 3:9)
ah HA! I have gotten to The Post. ;D
But I don’t have anything to add because I agree with you in total. I think, in Monica’s case, she receives a comment that is encouraging. Most of the comments I receive months-to-years after I’ve written the post in the first place use the phrase, “You’re so stupid” or “You don’t know anything.” And they always sign off as “Anon.” I really like those people. ;) (I just had another the other day!)
And perhaps they would have been more encouraging had they taken the time to get to know me, point out a counter-position without using belittling phrases or, as you pointed out, taken the time to read what I actually said!
Good post. Good thoughts. I guess I had a little something to say after all! =)
Interesting insights!
I remember well the day I posted (VERY early on in my blogging life, way back in the early days of Life on Sylvan Drive) about going to McDonald’s for Josiah’s Family Night. I had a lady, whom I had never heard from before, leave a comment begging me to watch “Supersize Me” and imploring me to never eat at McDonald’s again! I think that was my first negative, drive-by comment, and I was taken aback by it. But then I thought, “This is completely ridiculous. If that lady would actually take a look at the pictures on my blog, she would realize that none of my family is overweight, and if anything, my boys are Skinny Bones Jones!! We don’t eat at McDonald’s that often, and I’m certainly not going to take away that small, occasional pleasure to my boys, simply because some lady I don’t know has the audacity to think she should warn me about the danger of eating at McDonald’s! The nerve!!!” :)
Some time later, I posted what I thought was a funny little piece (not one I wrote, but something that had been forwarded to me) about Jesus. To me, it just made me laugh; but once again, a commenter piped up and was offended at how sacrilegious it was. What’s more, some of the people who read HER blog also hopped over to criticize me. I didn’t know them…there was no relationship…and like you point out, that’s not an effective way to change someone’s mind. But in that case, I decided to simply delete that post, especially after some of my friends jumped into the fray and came to my defense. I appreciated that, of course; but to me, it was just a silly little piece of humor – not something worth getting into an argument about. I’m not afraid of getting into arguments, mind you! :) But when I do, I want to make sure it’s about something really worth arguing about!! :)