Getting married in the modern era is a process fraught with decisions. When will the wedding be? Where will the wedding be? Who will we invite? What will we register for? What colors should our attendants wear?
These are all among the all-important wedding questions. But there are other, equally important non-wedding questions to answer.
Questions like: What name shall we use? Will she take his name, he take hers, or will they hyphenate? Or perhaps they will keep their same names, either for all uses or only on a professional basis. If they keep their own names, will their children have his name, hers, or a hyphenated name?
Daniel and I also have to deal with the naming questions.
You see, Daniel’s last name is a very common Hispanic name (in the top ten last names in the US as of the 2000 census.)
Which means we (er, I) have learned a bit about prejudices.
I’ve seen it on their faces when I let Daniel’s last name slip. I see the mental adjustment of expectations. They’d been imagining Daniel white, like me – but now they have to think differently (or they choose to think differently.)
It’s not all prejudice, though. Some people make assumptions in an attempt to be kind – like when the school calls Daniel’s brother about his son and leaves the message in Spanish.
Others think Daniel’s last name (and its incongruity with his appearance) is hilarious. Like our car dealer friend, who insisted that, with a last name like ours (yes, I’ll be taking Daniel’s name), we should name our car something “Mexican”.
Of course, my family (at least one of whom had already taken to calling us his “Mexican sister and brother-in-law”) took to this suggestion. They were eager to offer naming advice and ideas, throwing out “Juan” and “Jose” and “Eduardo” and “Ricardo”.
I sat on the suggestion for a week, ruminating over the various options. Every so often, Daniel asked me if I’d named the car yet. Day after day, my answer was no.
I looked up Hispanic names online, tried some on our Sentra for size.
At last, I’d narrowed the options to two. I asked Daniel what he thought of Alejandro or Javier.
When Daniel responded, it was clear what must be done.
Alejandro he is.
Our first naming decision has been made, with relatively little stress. Next time, though, I’m gonna guess I’ll not be quite so open to suggestions (I will NOT be naming a son Juan or Eduardo. Just sayin’.)
We are moving to the same town within a week of each other. We are starting our new jobs on the exact same day. And I guessed exactly your top two names without even trying. This is just getting weird :) The only thing that could make it weirder is if I find a house right next door!
Do it, do it! I’d love to be next door neighbors (or anything within biking distance would be great)
The funny thing about Daniel’s brother is that he was born in Africa, so I like to call him my African-American brother in law. White guy, Mexican name, born in Africa.
I totally relate to people calling us and trying to speak Spanish because of the last name. Funny stuff.
I like Alejandro.
I had only just named my 1997 Suburban while driving through NE last week on my way home. She did a great job getting me to Utah and back without any problem. Lucy, not sure why, it just came out. I told my hubby she needs to be put in the spa and get her oil changed! LOL!
Bekah,
When I lived in Craig, Colorado, my neighbor was Helen Garcia. She had three children, Madalyn, and twin girls (2 1/2 yrs old) named Jacqueline and Roselyn. (My 2 1/2 yr old boy called them Kak and Wose! I loved Helen and cried when I moved away from her. Then in Delta, I worked with Yvonne Garcia. I love her to this day. So I love the Garcia name!
I solved the maiden or hyphenated name for myself by taking my maiden name as my middle name (not hyphenated. So I am Nancy L. Hofman or Nancy Lorenz Hofman.
I am so happy for you! You are blessed to have found Daniel. (Or did he find you?) God arranged it, nonetheless.