Thankful Thursday: Trials may last for a night

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It hasn’t been an awful week, but it hasn’t been a wonderful one either. It’s been a weary week, one full of large and small frustrations that tempt me to take my eyes off Christ and place them on myself. But God in His mercy gives that glimmer of light amidst the valleys that reminds me that He’s still in control, still walking alongside me, still gracious and merciful.

This week I’m thankful…

…that water dries
I dutifully took my medicine when Daniel told me to, but my early-morning coordination was lacking and I spilled almost half my water bottle all over the bed. But Daniel let me sleep the rest of the morning on his side of the bed while a towel soaked up the water on my side (Daniel usually wakes me up to take my medicine when he gets up, then lets me sleep another hour before he brings me breakfast – since I have to wait an hour after the medicine to eat anyway.) Between the towel soaking and a fan on the sheets later on, the bed was dry in time for bedtime that evening.

…that the waves and wind – and, with some coaxing, my soul – still know who’s in control
We weren’t arguing, but we were having a spirited discussion about the use of civil courts vs. college judicial boards for allegations of rape on college campuses. We discuss things like that regularly – it’s one of the things I love about my marriage, the intellectual conversations we have about just about anything. But this particular morning, after Daniel left for work, my soul was disquieted within me. I grabbed Daniel’s hymnal from the shelf and opened to “Be Still My Soul.” With coaxing, my soul learned who rules the earth below.

…for an end to work craziness
Since we schedule 3 months out in our WIC clinic, we have a hard time adjusting when we lose staff – so although our site’s supervisor gave notice, that didn’t mean that we didn’t feel the extra busyness after her last day. However, a nurse from another clinic was hired as a new supervisor and she starts next Monday! It’ll still be a while before the craziness in our books sorts itself out, but this is the beginning of the end (of no time to breathe, much less chart in between clients.)

…for a big kick reminding me that dreams are not reality
I dreamt that our baby was stillborn – and even though I know that dreams aren’t reality, it still bothered me. I practiced deep breathing, read some Psalms. And my belly jumped with an undeniable kick, reminding me for real that dreams are not reality.

…for getting through the first few weeks
Bradley classes did not get off to a good start for us (let’s just say that I have some serious issues with the “Brewer Diet” that the Bradley method – and apparently several other natural childbirth methods – promotes.) But after one week in tears and another close to tears (I think I hid them fairly effectively until we got to the car), it was a relief to move on to the actual childbirth material in week 3.

“Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints,
and give thanks to his holy name.
For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.”
~Psalm 30:4-5 (ESV)

1 thought on “Thankful Thursday: Trials may last for a night”

  1. I totally identify with the fear of a baby being stillborn. (It’s hard not to fear EVERYTHING for your child. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a lifelong worry that they’ll die before I do.) Sometimes I wake up in the night consumed with panic. In these moments I repeat to myself that God will give peace and I refocus my eyes and thoughts on Him. And I’ve started also praying for the grace to get through if my worst fears are ever realized. I believe He will and He would.

    And I’m also exceedingly grateful when we all wake up in the morning and feel blessed just like you receiving that confirming, beautiful kick! :)


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