An acquaintance asked what I did beyond parenting a toddler and gestating an unborn baby – and I had no idea how to answer. What do I do beyond those things? Do I do anything beyond those things?
I feed myself and Tirzah Mae multiple times a day (parenting, gestating). I put Tirzah Mae down for naps while counting kicks and practicing relaxation to improve my chances of a successful VBAC attempt (parenting, gestating). I exercise daily while attempting not to step on my daughter who is underfoot (parenting, gestating.)
Yeah, I pretty much parent and gestate.
The things I used to do, for fun or leisure or work, now have to be worked around the parenting and gestating gigs.
And parenting and gestating haven’t been offering me any opportunities to sit down lately.
I still read books, while marching in place or while doing planks or pelvic rocks (more active woman = less risk of preeclampsia, more acive woman = increased chance of successful VBAC attempt). Occasionally, I read books while bathing if I happen to delay bathing until Tirzah Mae’s nap time.
I still read blogs, sort of. I read them on my phone while waiting for one of our meals or snacks to heat in the microwave or for the toast to pop in the toaster. Or (if I don’t have a bed to make or clothes to lay out or something to sweep up or wipe up or pick up) while I’m waiting for my bathwater to finish running or when I’m otherwise unavoidably delayed in the bathroom (ahem.)
Usually I have just enough time to skim headlines and “mark unread” blog posts from my friends. You know, all those blog posts that I intend to go back and read and comment on when I have time to actually read them and comment on them. Sometime when I’ve got more than 50 seconds to pay attention to them.
If I’m particularly caught up, I whittle my feedly down to 95 or a hundred unread articles by the end of the day – and all 95 to 100 are posts by friends. Posts I want to take my time with. Posts I want to read carefully. Posts I want to comment on.
But there’s no time to sit down and take my time with them, so those 95 posts languish.
Until last week, when I accidentally pressed something and those posts went away.
For a brief moment before new posts started filtering in, my feedly “unread posts” equalled zero.
It was a hard reset – and, so far as I know, there’s no way to undo it.
I thought about getting upset about it, but then decided against that course of action.
Instead, I’m going to embrace the reset. I’m going to consider it a do-over.
Like the FlyLady says, “You are not behind.”
I am not behind.
I am right where I need to be, taking care of my daughter, taking care of my home and my husband, caring for myself and our unborn child.
And if I happen to ever find an uninterrupted 15 minutes to sit down at my computer, I’ll take those blog posts by friends day by day without worrying about trying to catch up on the past months.
Sometimes we need to push RESET – and sometimes we need to embrace the RESET when it’s offered.
That’s what I’m going to try to do.
Not a perfect fit, but I really appreciated this Meg Meeker comment on Family Life Today–especially the “You will die right on time” bit…
“Many people feel they need to balance their life. Many people in their 30s and 40s feel they need to get everything done right now—like, “If I’m going to have a career, I better do it right now.” That’s not true. I’m an empty-nester. God-willing, I’ve got 15/20 more years of work ahead of me, hopefully. I have a whole lot of time to do that. Mothers, who are feeling overwrought and overburdened with small kids in their home, don’t listen to
what the world is telling you: “You need to find value outside of those kids.” Because if you have children, whether you have a job or whether you don’t, you’re great value is in being those children’s mother.
If you do want to have a career / you do want to do other things, God will give you
enough time. One pastor told me one time when I was worried about getting enough
things done—he said, “You will die right on time.” I kind of squirreled my face up; and I said, “What does that mean?” He said, “If God really wants you to get something done, He will give you the time on earth to get it done.” In other words, ten years down the road / fifteen years down the road. Take a big, deep breath. Don’t push too much into today or tomorrow, but let it work itself out over time.”
Whoever asked that question must not have any children.
What Barbara said. HA!!!