I love my life.
I am doing what I love-helping women feed their families better, doing nutrition education. I work for a program I believe in, with people I enjoy. I work just 40 hours a week.
I am in the same city as the man I love. I get to see him every day. I cook (almost) every day for a man who compliments my food and gladly eats the leftovers.
I am in the process of making a home in a lovely little house, with hardwood floor like I’ve always dreamed about and an abundance of windows. Daniel and I have complete freedom to paint the walls, build things, and tear things down. It is our home.
I am surrounded by great people. I have Happy Food every Tuesday, where I eat good food and enjoy the company of a fascinating group of men and women. Every other weekend or so, I share meals with friends of Daniel’s who are becoming my friends too–couples, singles, older people and younger. I have a mentor that I meet with to discuss life, to pray with and be encouraged by.
I am preparing for my wedding. In less than a month, I will marry a man beyond my dreams–whose mother refers to us as a “matched set” (isn’t that the sweetest–and possibly scariest–thing you’ve ever heard?) I am deliriously happy.
Life is wonderful.
And it is SO HARD.
I left Daniel’s house last night and started crying.
Sobbing.
Bawling.
I almost had to pull over because I could hardly see.
The girl working at the McDonald’s drive-through looked at me with pity, no doubt wondering about my red eyes, running nose, and the tears dripping off my chin.
Once I was home, I had to sit in the car for several minutes, trying to calm myself enough to not wake the people I live with with my sobs.
It is hard.
So many changes, so many disruptions to my usual routines. So much work to do, so little progress seeming to be made. So much on my mind, so much in my heart, so much.
It’s overwhelming, it’s…
It’s hard.
If you get a chance, pray for me.
Pray that I would sleep. Pray that I would remember to eat. Pray that I wouldn’t stress about all that has to be done. Pray that I would have discernment to know what doesn’t have to be done.
And pray for Daniel, who has to put up with this crazy-emotional-woman turning his life and routines and home upside down.
Even good change is hard. Praying for you to roll with the emotions, to sleep, to eat, to do one thing at a time, to trust it all will work out!
So happy for you and your new life. God has got you in the palm of His hand.
Aw, Rebekah. . . Bless you! What an exciting and emotional time for you! I am so happy for you, and I really get where you’re coming from. If it is any consolation (which I doubt!), I feel the same way with the impending addition to our family! ;-). I will pray for you this morning.
It is right to see both the positive changes you have gained AND allow yourself a good cry. It is right to see what you see and to name it. This is a strength that enhances marriage.
For comfort, I send the Aaronic blessing to both you and Daniel:
The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you
The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24 NIV
Happy Valentines Day, Aunt Joanne
As Lisa said, even good and happy changes are hard. Praying for grace (and sleep!) for you through the transitions.
Standing with everyone else in praying for you!