Self-talk is a common psychological phrase referring to the continual inner dialogue a person has with themselves. Self-talk often takes the form of depreciating remarks–“I can’t believe I just said that” “What were you thinking?” “You are such a loser.”
Psychologists find this type of inner dialogue to be self-defeating. The continual negative dialogue leads to increasingly negative attitudes and behavior towards oneself and others. Because of this, psychologists encourage their clients to replace this negative self-talk with positive affirmations via a process referred to as “cognitive restructuring”.
A prime example of positive affirmation comes from the children’s story “The Little Engine that Could.” The little engine believed that he could make the trek up the long hill–and told himself so, even as the circumstances became more and more difficult. “I think I can, I think I can,” the little engine said. And bolstered by his own unwavering faith in himself, the little engine made it up the hill. Had the engine’s self-talk said “I don’t think I can, I don’t think I can”, it’s likely he would have given up before he had a chance to see whether he really could or not. Or so the theory goes.
Personally, I’m a big fan of cognitive restructuring–but not so big a fan of positive affirmations.
You see, I find cognitive restructuring (the process to replacing incorrect thoughts and attitudes with truth) to be entirely Biblical. Romans 12:2 speaks of not being conformed to this world, but of being transformed “by the renewing of your mind”. I Corinthians 10:5 tells us to destroy arguments and every high thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of Christ and to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” So, thought-control is certainly a Biblical concept.
But I still have a problem with positive affirmations. Why? Because oftentimes, instead of replacing falsehood with truth, we replace falsehood with falsehood. Positive affirmation, by itself, serves only to inflate the ego and give us an overly-optimistic idea of our own importance.
Instead of positive affirmations, then, I am a fan of bringing my thoughts into line with the Word of God. So, when I am engaging in a bout of self-condemnation, I stop and remind myself that “there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). When I’m full of my self, I stop and remind myself to not think of myself more highly than I ought (Romans 12:8).
And then, there are the times when I have to take David’s approach and simply tell my soul what is what. “Why are you downcast, o my soul? Put your hope in GOD!” (Psalm 42:5)
Sometimes I just have to tell my heart what to think, what to feel, what to believe.
Like yesterday, when I wrote in my journal: “O heart of mine, trust in the Lord. O heart of mine, lean on His counsel. O heart of mine, be still today. Be still and know that He is God.”