Normal and not

Daniel has a lamp on his nightstand. He turns it on each night as we make our way to bed. We dress and read and, all too often, poke at our phones in the light of that little lamp.

I have two lamps on my nightstand. One is on a timer. It turns on at 0545 and off at 0730, its bright full-spectrum light intended to tell my body that it needn’t hibernate for winter. My other lamp is for finishing a chapter after Daniel goes to sleep, or putting the final touches on my plan for the next day. I use it rarely.

On nights like tonight, when Daniel is traveling for work, I turn on Daniel’s lamp when I come in to get ready for bed. I sit in bed and read or poke at my phone or finish up my plan for the next day. And then I reach over the empty space where my husband ought to lie and turn off his lamp. My lamps remain unused.

Life is so very normal and so very abnormal when he is gone.


Labor Day Fun for Mama and Papa

What’s the most popular starting letter for American state names?

One could ask the internet.

Our list of states

Or one could grab an atlas or similar list of state names.

Or one could write down the names of all 50 states from memory, recording each first letter on a different piece of scratch paper before counting them up and organizing them most popular to least.

I’m sure you couldn’t guess which one we did.


A Very Simple Exploration of Magnetism

Experiments in early childhood needn’t be complicated.

We read about magnetism during reading time yesterday, so our activity time was a very simple exploration of magnetism.

I gathered up a magnet for each child (the magnetic “keys” for our magnetic child locks are great because they have “handles”) and a selection of everyday items I have from around the house (Q-tips, pens, bobby pins, paper clips, barrettes, earrings, steel wool, etc.)

Each child got a piece of paper that had been divided in two and labeled “Y” for yes and “N” for no (with different colors for all the pre-readers). Their challenge was to guess which items the magnet would pick up and to put those on the “Y”. If they guessed that the magnet wouldn’t pick something up, they could put it on the “N”.

Exploring Magnetism

I explained that their guess was a hypothesis and that now they could test their hypothesis using the magnets.

While testing their hypotheses, they moved their objects from the paper to different cups.

Once they’d divided all their objects and tested all their hypotheses, they could get down and explore the house, making hypotheses about the objects they found around the house and testing their hypotheses.

That’s it. A very simple exploration of magnetism – and one that helped the children also understand a bit about the process of science.

You can help your child become a scientific thinker this same way.

Ask, “What do you think will happen if…”

Explain that what your child just guessed is their hypothesis.

Now ask the child if they’d like to test their hypothesis. Is their hypothesis true or false? Test it several times just to make sure.

Familiarizing your early learners with the scientific process is that easy.

You can do this!


The Value of Undirected Play

I could have called the kids in for a sensory bin for activity time this morning, but they were busy squishing mud into a muffin tin to make cupcakes.

So I let them learn.

Tirzah Mae and Louis making mudcakes

I could have called the kids in for a STEM activity for activity time this morning, but they were building an oven to bake their cupcakes in.

So I let them learn.

The "Oven"

I could have called the kids in for an art project for activity time this morning, but they were decorating their cupcakes with sunflower petals.

So I let them learn.

Sunflower decorations

And then I posted it to bekahcubed to remind myself that, especially in early childhood, undirected play is the best way to learn.


Tirzah Mae writes

Tirzah Mae loves to write.

Her little notes are strewn about the house and on every available surface (I haven’t had the time or energy to repaint basically the whole basement after last year’s great graffiti-ing. Sigh.)

Anyway, now that she’s doing phonics, her invented spellings are improving. She doesn’t always sound them back out when she’s reading them back to me, though – so I had to laugh when she read this:

Tirzah Mae's writing

“Tirzah Mae
Beth-Ellen
Wrecking truck”

I had to tell her that I didn’t think her memory served her correctly, since that last line clearly says wrecking BACKHOE!


Color Kits, LEGO dolls, and grasping babies

The LEGO set Tirzah Mae and Louis got a few months ago didn’t have people in it – so they made some of their own.

LEGO people

Also, no longer contented using MagnaTiles to build structures, Tirzah Mae has turned them into “color kits” that she uses to decorate her own hair and my hair.

Me with my MagnaTile "color kit"

Shiloh is going through a leap, which means rather less sleep for mama – but it also means she’s intentionally grasping at toys hanging from her play gym and moving them about while talking excitedly.

Louis continues to delight in knights and swords, and has added a tin can rerebrace to his armor.

Louis with sword and armor

Beth-Ellen is determined to prove my earlier lament about timing wrong by potty training diligently.

Life is good in these parts.


There’s never a right time

Motherhood seems to be a juggling act, balancing two competing truisms: “You can spend three months teaching it now or you can wait two months until your child is ready to learn and get it done in just one month” and “If you wait until the right time, you’ll never get anything done.”

I rarely seem to get it quite right.

Take potty-training, for example. I prefer to potty train in summer, if possible, since then I don’t have to worry about changing all sorts of layers every time there’s an accident. Furthermore, I know that new babies can prompt potty-training regressions.

So when Beth-Ellen showed interest in potty-training last fall… I said no. I said “Next summer, after we’re settled in with the new baby.”

Now next summer is here and she’s ambivalent. She’s gotten used to walking around in a wet or soiled diaper. She’s gotten over the discomfort. She’s learned to ignore the body signals she was paying attention to last fall.

Did I miss the window? We’ll see. But even while I know I couldn’t have done it then – in addition to the aforementioned considerations, I was also in the throes of a pretty terrible depression and first trimester exhaustion, which influenced the decision rather a lot – I still second guess the decision.

Then there’s the school year. I made the decision to do year-round schooling based on my observation growing up that the beginning of the school year was a pretty stressful time because it generally coincided with a rather time-intensive harvest and canning season.

I would be wiser than my mom and would structure my school year so I could take time off or lighten my load during those types of seasons.

So I planned to start this school year as soon as we were settled in with the new baby.

Which is a terrific idea. But just as I’m almost ready to add the final touch to the schedule (the math and phonics programs)? I visit my family and they gift me zucchini and cucumbers and beets (Thanks mom and Daniel!) Of course, I can’t say no to such a generous gift, especially since I opted not to garden myself this year.

And so, here I am, finishing up starting school while shredding and freezing zucchini, making dill pickle relish, and canning beet pickles. And, like my mother before me, I’m going to bed exhausted from the effort of starting school and homemaking and parenting and canning. (Although my food preservation efforts are paltry compared to hers, so much so that it’s barely worth mentioning my not-even-two-dozen pints of canned goods when I consider her 300+ quarts.)

We can plan our timing, and we ought, to the best of our ability with the information we have. But ultimately, as Gandalf says in The Fellowship of the Ring: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

Or, as a far wiser one than Gandalf says, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” (Proverbs 19:21 ESV)

And so, as mothers, we must look to the Lord each day, trusting that he has the proper timing in hand and that he will grant us the grace to potty train the child and get the canning done and whatever else he gives us for this day and the next and the next.


Last first day of homeschool

As much as I want to do everything all at once, if there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself it’s to not overdo it by trying to overhaul everything. So while I would have loved to have started off homeschool with a bang, I chose instead to start it slowly…very, very slowly.

Tirzah Mae is kindergarten-age this year and she’s been eager to get started. I was eager too, but didn’t want to start something I couldn’t sustain, so I kept telling her we’d start once we got settled in with Shiloh.

Of course, “settled in” is a nebulous concept and things change so rapidly in the early weeks that it’s all you can do to keep up… but when Shiloh was a couple days shy of a month old we were ready to start Phase 1.

Phase 1 was the resumption of Reading Time.

We’ve been doing reading time after breakfast for about a year now (if I remember right.) The kids like to linger over their breakfast and I’m frequently impatient to get started on my to-do list. Sitting waiting for them to finish up was excruciating – until I realized that was the perfect time to do read-alouds.

In the past, Reading Time has been whatever picture books I’ve got out of the library, but now that this is officially school, I’m being a bit more systematic. I’m not super convinced that kindergarten requires a whole lot of “subjects”, but I did want to at least introduce the concept of subjects. We’ve done this using the Core Knowledge book What Your Kindergartener Needs to Know. Each morning, we read a nursery rhyme or poem and then we get into our subject. We rotate through literature (mostly folktales), history and geography, and science topics from the kindergarten book, reading one story or section per day. After our “subject work”, we move on to the next picture book in line in our goal to read every book in the library (right now we’re reading lots of Tomie dePaola and Anna Dewdney, two very delightful authors!) Finally, we close out our reading time with the next chapter in our chapter book. So far in the 2020-2021 school year, we’ve read Mr. Popper’s Penguins by Florence and Richard Atwood and The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner. We’ll start Betsy MacDonald’s Mrs. Piggle-wiggle tomorrow.

The second phase in our homeschool calendar was the resumption of Singing Time near the end of June. I’ve been doing some variation on Singing Time since Tirzah Mae was two, but it seems I tweak it a bit every year. This year, I’ve got folders for “current work”, “recent review”, and “long term review”. Every day, we sing every song in the “current work” folder (one “Sunday school” song, one “ordinary” children’s song, and one memory verse). We sing whatever song and recite whatever verse is at the front of their respective “recent review” folders. And we sing whatever song and recite whatever verse is at the front of the “long term review” folders. Once a week, I add a new song or verse to the “current work” folder, moving the older song from that category back to the “recent review” folder and the oldest song in the “recent review” folder back to the “long term review”. This way, we sing a song or recite a verse daily for three weeks, then every other day for three weeks, and periodically review thereafter. All told, we sing four songs and recite three verses daily.

The third phase of our school program is Activity Time.

Activity Time rotates through six different themes: Visual Arts, Cooking, Gross Motor Activities (P.E.), Musical Arts, Sewing, and Sensory Activities. I have lists of potential activities in each of these categories, but I try to be pretty flexible with these. So when we read about how Henry won the free-for-all in The Boxcar Children, we ran footraces in the yard, taking turns yelling “Get Ready, Get Set, Go!” and then racing full-tilt from fence to fence. I had an Introduction to Instruments and Benjamin Britten’s “Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra” out of the library one day so we listened to it while playing with playdough (a double-whammy of musical arts and sensory activities). For cooking, I have a list of skills I want Tirzah Mae to develop over the course of her kindergarten year, and I have a spreadsheet set up where I note each date that we work on a skill and the date that I consider her to have mastered it. I’m also keeping a list of each recipe she’s worked on and any notes about what she did, what needs more work, etc.

Thus far, all these phases include all four of the older children (although I often have variants for the different children in activity time – Sweet P (a young 2) has significantly different cooking tasks than Tirzah Mae (5.5) does.

Phase 4, which we started last week, is where some additional differentiation sets in. The three oldest gather for Calendar Time after I’ve put Sweet P down for her nap (she’s the only one still consistently napping, although I insist that everyone still take a rest time.) For now, we sing either the days of the week or the months of the year and we count to today’s date on the calendar. I will probably add a few more things to this time as we go along (in past years, we’ve done weather and the alphabet song at least), but for now, we’re establishing the pattern of calendar time.

After calendar time, Beth-Ellen goes to her room for a rest time and I worked individually with Louis and then with Tirzah Mae on Math. For these early years, I’m using Shiller Math, a Montessori-based math program. The first kit covers preK through 3rd grade and both Tirzah Mae and Louis did some of the activities last year. Shiller Math is grab and go – it’s fully scripted and the kit has all the needed manipulatives and materials, so it’s been pretty easy to get started.

And finally, there’s today. Today, Tirzah Mae and I started phonics. While Tirzah Mae and I have worked about a third of the way through Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, I knew that I didn’t ultimately want to teach phonics using that book. It was a great resource for working towards Tirzah Mae’s goal of learning to read while mama was enduring a difficult pregnancy, but the lack of a logical framework for understanding phonics was driving me bonkers. So today we started American Language Series K Phonics, the same phonics program I used when I learned to read 30 years ago (albeit with a different name).

Tirzah Mae on her last first day of kindergarten

And with that we have completed our last first day of homeschool (for this year).


Snapshot: Every Book Needs an ISBN

About a year ago, our library switched to using the “Beanstack” app to record reading challenge participation.

This was a great boon to me, as our children participate in the library’s “1000 Books Before Kindergarten” program, which involves recording each book the children read.

Back when recording books meant coloring in a little circle for each child on a piece of paper, keeping track of that paper, and returning it to the library, I rarely logged the kids’ reading.

Now that recording books means pulling up the app on my phone, selecting who listened while I read, and scanning the book’s ISBN, the kids are well on their way to recording their 1000.

And now our children are all too aware that books need ISBNs.

Tirzah Mae has been making all sorts of books, full of invented spelling and delightful illustrations. And every book has an ISBN.

Every book needs an ISBN