Following Christ

Categories Everyday Life, Following Christ

I feel His pleasure

1 Comment by

Have you seen Chariots of Fire? Do you remember when Eric Liddell was defending his decision to go to the Olympics to his sister, who wanted him to return to the mission field immediately? He said, “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.”

That’s how I felt today as I stood among a half dozen African American women and a couple others and demonstrated how to prepare a stir-fry “off-hand”.

It was a long day–I woke up late, ran to the office to pick up some danglers, ran out to Kawasaki to set up an educational display there, ran back home for the materials for this afternoon’s presentation, ran back to the office, ran to a presentation on diabetes, ran back to the office. You get the picture. But the last item on my agenda completely made my day.

Renee and I have been working on this “Gathering” for a couple of weeks now, reserving the kitchen at the Salvation Army and gathering together some folks to participate. I’ve been preparing a handout and getting together my cooking supplies. And today, we had our gathering.

I’d been off-kilter all day, but I was off-kilter no longer. Now I was right at home. I was where I was meant to be. Maybe God created me for a purpose other than teaching people the practical skills of eating healthy–but He gave me that passion, and when I exercise it, I feel His pleasure.

I’ve often mused, in past weeks, that surely I was created for a higher purpose than keeping up with the dishes and the laundry. I’ve stated that there must be something more to life than the day to day monotony of school and work. “This can’t be all there is!” I’ve cried. But today, as we gathered, I could only think “If this is all there is, I’d be content.”

Because when I teach people how to cook, I feel His pleasure. Because when I have the opportunity to help a community be healthier, I feel His pleasure. That makes it all worthwhile.

We were three white women, six black women, and a lone black man. Food brought us together around a table. Some cut, some mixed, some just tasted. Food was a common ground. One woman discovered stir-fry for the first time in her life. Another tasted water chestnuts for the first time. One woman decided that low-sodium soy sauce was just as good as the regular. Another woman discovered that brown rice is not as bad as she thought. They couldn’t stop telling me how impressed they were with how easy it was to cook a stir-fry–and it was healthy too! There couldn’t be a doubt in anyone’s mind: this wasn’t just information for them to sit on, they were going to use this stuff.

Photo of Gathering

They suggested I write a cookbook. They were nice beyond belief. They made me feel great about myself and about my dreams. Their approval was fantastic–but far beyond that, I felt the approval of God. ‘Cause this afternoon, in the Salvation Army kitchen, I felt His pleasure.

Wanna try making an Off-hand Stir-fry of your own? Check out my handout.

Categories Everyday Life, Following Christ

Groan with me

Leave a comment by

II Thessalonians 3:11 says “For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies.”

Yeah, I’ve heard the same thing. There’s someone, walking about, bringing disorder wherever she goes, not working in her own home, not working outside her own home, but determined to insert herself into everyone else’s homes.

The verse right before it, II Thessalonians 3:10, says “For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat.”

So she’s not working. We’ve established that one. But she’s eating–voraciously. Not physically–it’s not like she’s going over to people’s houses and insisting that they feed her dinner. No, she’s eating emotionally and spiritually–going over to people’s houses or calling them on the phone and slurping up every spare ounce of emotional and spiritual energy they have.

And then she vomits and sucks some more.

II Thessalonians 3:12 says “Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread.”

I wish I knew that I could apply this verse to that situation. I wish I could be certain that I could just tell her to go home, find a job (or even just start taking care of your children!), and learn to be emotionally and spiritually self-sufficient.

II Thessalonians 3:13 says, “But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good.”

I’m definitely not doing very well on this one. Of course, it’d help if I knew whether continuing to try in this relationship were indeed GOOD. It feels a lot more like casting pearls before swine.

Can’t I just do as II Thessalonians 3:14 says?
“And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed.”

I mean, I could handle a good long vacation from her. I could use a bit of time without her company. In fact, I can think of a half a dozen women who’ve already been sucked dry and could really benefit from some time away from her spiritual bulimia.

The hard part is II Thessalonians 3:15, “Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.”

She is a sister–a fellow believer in Christ. But it’s very hard to think of her as a sister when she’s acting like a leach. My little antibodies are bristling–wanting so hard to attack her–she’s destroying the body. Except that she is a part of the body. How can that be?

I don’t know how to deal. I don’t know what to say.

I doubt you know either.

But, please, please pray. For me. For the many women who’ve been emotional exhausted by this woman. For the woman. Pray for wisdom. For humility. For grace. Pray that she’d stop–oh, I don’t even know what to ask in regard to her. I guess, just groan for me, for us, please.

“Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Romans 8:26

Categories Following Christ, Reflections

Safe on the Other Side

3 Comments by

It’s February 15, and I have safely traversed yet another Valentine’s Day–this year, the smoothest trip yet.

I can’t know precisely, but I think it helped that I wasn’t forced to sit through a youth group “Love Month.”

This year, I didn’t have to listen to anyone tell me to “don’t worry, you’ll get married someday.” I guess maybe it’s easier to not have to continually remind myself that just because well-intentioned believers promise me marriage doesn’t mean God has promised me marriage.

This year, I didn’t have to listen to anyone tell me that the trick to getting married is “being content in your singleness.” Apparently, they were really fast learners–they figured out how to be content in the entire six months they were single after high school.

This year, I didn’t have to listen to anyone tell me that “some people are called to be single–which means they’ll be single for the rest of their lives.” I didn’t have remind them that all of us were originally called to be single. And that singleness is a gift every single person has–until God decides to exchange the gift of singleness for marriage, should he choose to do so.

It’s amazing how much easier it is to be content with singleness when I’m not being told, explicitly or implicity, that singleness is second best.

I grew up in the church, attended youth group every week, sponsored for the youth group for several years during college, and estimate that I have heard at least 40 “Love Month” sermons or teachings. And I’m pretty sure that I am a better person for not having heard them this time around.

The creators of “love month” had good intentions. They thought they’d use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to talk about touchy subjects. The problem is, they were too uncomfortable to talk about the really important touchy subjects–so they conjured up unimportant dream worlds to talk about instead.

“Love Month”–at least as I remember it–included one teaching that wasn’t quite on sex (often relegated to a video), one teaching on praying and preparing for your future spouse, one teaching on courting (NEVER dating), and one evening where girls and boys split up to discuss “gender-related issues.” The boys talked about lust, pornography, and masturbation. The girls talked about modesty.

The problem with the sex talk was that no one really talked about it frankly. They euphemized and trivialized and glossed over things to the point that the only take home message you could get was that apparently girls and boys were not supposed to do anything together. Or something like that. Oh, there were a few good points–“If he loves you, he won’t try taking advantage of you” being a key example.

But by and large, the really important (although somewhat awkward) points weren’t made. Nobody talked about the serious medical complications associated with STDs. Plenty of people mentioned not kissing until you were engaged, or married or whatever–because it was the fad thing in the church in those days (maybe it still is, I don’t know). But nobody shared that some STDs can be shared through kissing, without genital contact. Now that’s information that might come in handy. Nobody talked about how every time you have sex with a person, it’s like you’re having sex with every person they’ve had sex with before.

They talked about praying and preparing for your future spouse. They shared the sweet story of our pastor’s wife, who prayed eight years for her future husband before she and Jason got married. They talked about keeping your room clean and not being a slob. I don’t remember exactly what else they thought was “preparation for marriage.”

I do know that they didn’t say anything about how to live the single life. They didn’t talk about learning how to have healthy relationships with your own sex. They didn’t talk about learning to be hospitable. They didn’t talk about learning how to manage your time and money wisely. They didn’t talk about using your giftings. They didn’t talk about humbling yourself and submitting to authority. Preparation for marriage is all right and good–but since marriage isn’t a guarantee and singleness (at least for a time) is, wouldn’t it be better to prepare for singleness? (Especially since by “preparing for singleness” I mean preparing for adulthood?)

They talked about courtship and not DATING. They talked about how the guy talks to the father and they’re both serious about marriage and blah-da-de-blah. They didn’t talk about how nobody needs to be worrying about dating OR courting in high school. They didn’t encourage the students to discover their callings and giftings and passions before they started looking for a mate. They didn’t caution students to not base their life’s course on a guy or a gal.

And then they split the guys and the girls up for some frank talk about issues. Or at least so the guys could have a frank talk about issues. The guys talked about lust, pornography, and masturbation. The girls talked about not causing their brothers to sin by being immodest. Once, they were especially bold and let me talk to the girls about guarding their hearts.

What they didn’t ever discuss with the girls? Lust. Pornography. Masturbation. Yes, we heard that guys were visual–that’s why we were supposed to cover up. But we never heard that girls can lust too. We never heard that we too need to guard our eyes and our thoughts. We were never cautioned against sexually explicit novels, intimacy-laden movies, and daydreaming about guys. Nobody would countenance mentioning masturbation to the girls. After all, what if some of them didn’t know what it was and got ideas?

So we were led to believe that lust was man’s sin. Immodesty was woman’s. The girls weren’t given any tools with which to fight the lust that attacked us. Thinking that we were abnormal and unnatural, we tried to fight the battle alone–or gave up on trying to fight. If a leader couldn’t even mention the word masturbation, how could a girl gain the confidence to go to the leader for prayer and accountability?

Just thinking about it gets me riled.

Perhaps now you can understand why not having to do “love month” has made February a great deal easier for me?

Even if not, allow me to share a few quick tips for talking “relationships” with single people:

  • Don’t make promises you can’t keep–Don’t promise them marriage when God hasn’t done so.
  • Redirect their focus back to what God has made clear is their calling right now. That means encouraging them to learn to be the best student, child, roommate, friend, or employee they can be. That means encouraging them to discover their purpose and passions and to get connected within the church.
  • Be willing to speak frankly, and listen openly about the many issues they’re dealing with. Don’t give quick, pat answers. Talk about lust. Talk about the joys of marriage (honoring your spouse by not going too far, of course). Talk about the trials of marriage (once again, honoring your spouse by not going into details). Go ahead and remind them that marriage is great but it’s not the promised land. Learn for yourself, if you need to, that a spouse is not the answer to all of life’s problems.
  • Above all, work to keep the focus on God–and their relationship with God. Don’t encourage single people to “be content in their singleness” (especially not as a means to marriage)–instead encourage them to discover God’s purpose in their singleness. Keep redirecting the focus of your conversations about relationships back to God.

Thanks for bearing with my little rant–and thanks to all of you who have been such a blessing to me (single person though I am ;-) Oh–and thank you, Lord, for the privelege of being a single woman (and that I didn’t have to do another “Love Month” this year).

Categories Following Christ, Reflections

Hungry

2 Comments by

Can anyone else feel the hunger, or is it just me?

I’ve battled with discontent for almost a year now–chronicling some of my struggle on-line. But this is a different discontent, a rustling ache in my belly. This is a cry from deep within proclaiming “There must be more.”

Just today, it struck me with a vengeance–gnawing away at my insides. “This isn’t what life was meant to be. There has to be something more.”

Not more talking. Not more doing. Not more meetings. Not more books. Not more blogging. Not more cleaning.

More Christ.

Surely I was not born to keep up with the laundry. I was not created to fill a seat in the service. My purpose is not to do dishes. I was not placed on this earth to teach people how to eat.

These things are all things that I do, but I cannot be satisfied with the doing of this life.

Discontent strikes me, but this time it is not a desire for more things or different circumstances. This time it is a desire for more of God. I desire that I would walk daily–no even more, moment-by-moment–in relationship with Him. I desire that He would penetrate every ounce of my existance to the point that my doing dishes would be worship. I want to be so consumed by Him that He overflows into every aspect of my life–work, church, school, friends, family, blogging, crafting, cleaning, filling my car with gas.

I want to live an “other” life. Not “my” life, consumed by my worries. An “other” life, consumed by the glory of God, glorifying Christ, being led by the Holy Spirit.

A holy discontent. A discontent with mediocrity. A discontent with living without reference to Christ. I’ve caught a discontent, I know not where–but I pray I’ll never lose this hunger.

Hunger for God.

Categories Following Christ

A Higher Standard

4 Comments by

SALT, Z-360’s student leadership team, is being called to a higher standard. (Just for the record, I’m in favor of the motion.) Of course, this means that the students will be expected to not listen to secular music, to avoid movies or tv shows that display immorality, and to not cuss. Standard youth group “higher standard” items.

I’m sure the call wasn’t too different many years ago. Youth groups were called to give up dancing and card playing in the call to a “higher standard”. Maybe they gave up “Golly” and “Gee”. Girls and boys alike were encouraged to dress up more–girls in longish skirts, guys in ties. Standard fare, you know.

But when I think about being called to a higher standard–I wonder if our high standards aren’t, well, a little low.

I mean, imagine if a youth pastor (or a normal old pastor) called his people to this kind of standard:

  • to always let others go first in line (Romans 12:10)
  • to never honk your horn or get upset when someone cuts you off (Romans 12:17)
  • to always follow the speed limit exactly (Romans 13:1-5)
  • to NEVER become indebted to ANYONE (Romans 13:8)
  • to let yourself be cheated (I Corinthians 6:7)
  • to follow through with what you’ve promised in the past (II Corinthians 8:10-12)
  • to take captive every thought that is disobedient to Christ (II Corinthians 10:5)
  • to not walk in lewdness (raunchiness), contentions (arguments), outbursts of wrath, and envy (Galatians 6:19-21)
  • to never speak corrupt (twisted) words (Epehesians 4:29)
  • to not tell dirty jokes (Ephesians 5:4)
  • to obey your parents without begrudging–every time (Ephesians 6:1-3)
  • to pray regularly for the body of believers–and especially for missionaries (Ephesians 6:18-20)
  • to never be conceited (Philippians 2:3)
  • to never complain (Philippians 2:14)
  • to never worry (Phillipians 4:6)
  • to stop “stretching the truth” and telling “little white lies” (Colossians 3:8)
  • to recognize and esteem those who work among us (I Thessalonians 5:12-13)
  • to work in quietness and earn our keep (II Thessalonians 3:12)
  • to regularly pray for all who are in authority (I Timothy 2:1-2)
  • (for women) to learn in silence (I Timothy 2:11)
  • to provide for your family members who are in need (I Timothy 5:8)
  • to not listen to gossip (I Timothy 5:22)
  • to not answer back to your parents (Titus 2:9)
  • to not pilfer (even a pen or a paper clip) from the office (Titus 2:10)
  • to never speak bad things about anyone (Titus 3:2)
  • to entertain strangers (Hebrews 13:2)
  • to remember prisoners AS IF WE WERE CHAINED WITH THEM (Hebrews 13:3)
  • to visit orphans and widows in their trouble (James 1:27)
  • to never discriminate against ANYONE–black, white, poor, rich, clean, smelly, cool, uncool (James 2:1-9)
  • to not make plans without taking God’s plans into account (James 4:13-16)
  • to confess your sins to another believer (James 5:16)
  • to have a good reputation among the world (I Peter 2:12)
  • to be courteous (I Peter 3:8)

That is just part of the standard which God calls His people to.

Categories Everyday Life, Following Christ, Reflections, Technology

Job Day

Leave a comment by

In case you’re not familiar with the phrase, a “Job day” is a day in which everything seems to be going wrong–a la Job in the Bible. One day as Job’s children were enjoying a feast at their oldest brother’s house, a servant came to Job to tell him that his oxen and donkeys had been raided. Then another servant arrived to tell Job that all of his sheep and shepherds had been killed by lightening. Another servant arrived to say that Job’s camels had been raided and their keepers killed. As a final blow, a last servant arrived to inform Job that his eldest son’s house had collapsed, killing every one of Job’s children.

I can’t say my day is quite as bad as Job’s–No one has died, at any rate. But today has still been a bit trying.

It began at midnight. I was still awake from yesterday, and my nose began to run. It ran for several hours–right down the back of my throat–keeping me from being able to sleep and enduing me with a magnificent sore throat.

I finally slept around 7 am. Waking up at noon to a particularly obnoxious song blaring from my computer, I noticed pop-ups appearing on my computer screen. I investigated a bit–and discovered that I had a Trojan. After several hours of investigation and tweaking, I think I removed it all.

But having been reminded that computers are intrinsically fragile, I thought to back up my files again. So I logged on to the family server to back up my files–and discovered that I didn’t have permission to make any changes within my own designated folder. I should have been able to make changes–I backed up the family photos onto the same drive yesterday. But even after a couple more hours of fiddling, I was having no success.

So I dropped by my parent’s house to see if I could adjust permissions from my mom’s computer (the same computer I’d backed up the family photos from the day before). But, to my surprise and horror, I no longer had permission to do anything on the server from there either. I fiddled a bit with no success, unsuccessfully tried to access the server in the basement directly, and finally decided to give up and have a piece of candy.

I was putting Mom’s full candy jar back when it slipped out of my hand and shattered all over her living room floor.

The post-nasal drip has continued. I put on my skirt this afternoon to find that the hem has ripped loose since I last wore it. My new thigh highs won’t stay at my thigh–instead one side slips down to below my knees. My nose is raw, my throat hurts, and I haven’t gotten even one item on my to-do list done today.

I struggle with Job’s response to his very bad day: “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

Instead of returning to praise the Lord, to often I turn to recount my grievances. Sure this day has been a bad day–but then I make it worse by borrowing trouble. I stew about my news from the eye doctor–I’d rather have been born blind than start going blind from glaucoma now. I stew over my singleness. I stew over everything.

The Lord gave me eyesight–doesn’t He have the right to take it back? The Lord gave me health–doesn’t He have the right to retract it? The Lord gave me time–doesn’t He have the right to “waste” it? I came into the world naked and helpless–and I’ll return to the earth in the same state. Is God not still worthy of praise?

So I will praise Him not for what He has done or not done for me, but for who He is. He is GOOD. He is FAITHFUL. He is HOLY. He is ALL-POWERFUL.

My circumstances have changed–but God has not. He is not broken like Mom’s candy jar. He is not swollen like my throat. He is not malfunctioning like my thigh highs. He is not infected like my computer (was). And I still have access to Him–even if I can’t access my folder on the server.

God, it’s been a tough day. But I’m going to praise you anyway.

Categories Education, Following Christ

Making it through alive

Leave a comment by

I know my top ten list was less than helpful. It left the question: “How?” completely unsaid.

So here’s the answer to the question “How do I not die?”

The grace of God. The grace of God. The grace of God. The grace of God. The grace of God. The grace of God. The grace of God. The grace of God.

Take my last week.

Monday I opened (6:30am), took a “break” for classes, and closed (9:00pm). Tuesday I opened again, then left for classes (which went til 8pm). Wednesday began my longest day yet–33 hours. I woke up at 6, did some work around the house. Then class, then lunch with dad, then 8 hours of work. Then meet with some classmates to work on a class project. Then go home and write my manuscript. I wrote straight through, with a break to bathe and a break to wake myself up (scrubbing a bathtub with undiluted vinegar is a good wake-up!) Manuscript done, I printed it off and took off to class. When classes ended at 3:00–I was done.

I went home, ate some Rice-a-roni my roommate made the night before and left for me, crawled into bed, read two pages of a Hardy Boys novel, wrote in one crossword puzzle answer, and fell asleep. I slept 17 hours without break. I’m guessing that’s my longest time spent without going to the bathroom. I had a bloody nose sometime in the night–so I’ll have to do laundry after I get done with work this evening–but I’m done with one leg at least.

Yep. The grace of God. That’s what does it.

Categories Following Christ, Missions, Reflections

Song stuck in my head (Missing Mexico)

1 Comment by

For the past several days, I’ve had a song stuck in my head. It goes something like this:
///Si tienes problemas, dile todo a el///
Cristo esta en la linea hoy

///Llamale, llamale, dile todo a el///
Cristo esta en la linea hoy

Rebekah and I spent a fair bit of time singing that song. She was teaching me some Spanish songs out of the old rancho songbook “Alabanzos el Rey.” It’s easy to learn and easy to get stuck in your head.
“///If you have problems, give them all to Him///
Jesus is the way today

///Speak to Him, Speak to Him, Give them all to Him///
Jesus is the way today

I went on a walk with John and Casandra this evening. It made me miss Mexico. I miss looking up and seeing the Milky Way every night. I miss Rebekah. I was remembering the walk we all took late one night. Elizabeth and Luis were walking the track as well, but it was mostly just Rebekah and Tonio and I.

It was dark and there weren’t streetlights like we have here. It was truly dark, real dark that you can almost taste. Rebekah and I were walking along hand in hand when Tonio jumped at us out of the brush in the center of the track. I was too surprised to react, but Rebekah jumped and squeezed my hand tighter. We all three walked on together–and Tonio decided to tell stories to pass the time. Of course, it was all in Spanish. The stories lost something in translation I think, but Rebekah (who was translating for me) was obviously getting a bit frightened. She might have been just starting to relax her grip when he got to another scary part, then she’d grab hold of my hand again.

I startled them a bit that night–singing and dancing in the dark. I can’t help it that I felt so free, so alive walking around that darkened track.

I miss it. It took me a while to get really Mexico home-sick, but it’s setting in now. I miss singing with Rebekah in the schoolroom. I miss family devotions and prayer time. I miss Tonio. I miss homemade tortillas. I miss the sky and the air. I miss the boys from the rehabilitation center. I miss hearing Spanish all the time.

My experience in Mexico seems to have faded into the background as I’ve dived back in to grad school and work. Nothing “momentous” occurred in Mexico. Just lots of moments–moment after moment. Talking with Rebekah in the schoolroom. Trusting God for how to teach. Flirting with Berto (just the tiniest bit). Getting ice cream at the plaza when I had no idea what I was buying. Trying out my Spanish on some unsuspecting person. Teaching and being translated. Hugs and “hermanas”. The heat of the day and the cool of the night. Tunas from the peddler that goes door to door. Visitors daily, new people to meet. Girl talk. Dressing up to go out on the town.

I miss those moments. I miss Mexico. Maybe someday, I’ll go back.

Categories Following Christ, Reflections

Last but not least

3 Comments by

I’m going to guess that most of my readers have heard of the ten commandments. I’m also going to guess that most of you think that the ten commandments should be kept.

So how about this one: “Thou shalt not covet…” (Ex. 20:17) According to the American Heritage Dictionary (found online at dictionary.com), to covet means “to feel blameworthy desire for that which is another’s.” Envy is the most common synonym. Envy is defined by dictionary.com as “a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc.” Desire for something that does not belong to you, discontent with your own circumstances.

That’s a hard one to swallow. “Thou shalt not covet…” Does that really rank up there with “Thou shalt not murder”, “Thou shalt not commit adultery”, “Thou shalt not steal”? After all, coveting is something everyone does, right?

I’ve been slowly coming to discover that covetousness is a huge stronghold in my life. It seems almost every day I find something new to covet. I covet my neighbor’s husband and children. I covet the house she owns. I covet her car, her hair, her garden. I covet my neighbor’s artistic ability, or her athletic ability. I covet her three piece suit. I covet her job, or her assistantship. I covet her schedule, or lack thereof. Today, I covet her deep freeze.

Yet covetousness is not something to be taken lightly. Romans 1:29 lists envy among the sins that people who are “filled with all unrighteousness” commit. I Corinthians 3:3 describes envy as being a carnal behavior–one that mere men commit (not those who are filled with the Spirit of God). Galatians 5:21 lists envy as one of the evident works of the flesh–and states that those who practice such things shall not enter the kingdom of God. James 3:16 says that “where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.” Envy is not some sort of “little white” sin. It’s a big deal, capital offense, capital letter SIN.

Yet I tolerate it so often. I rationalize sin in my mind. “You’re just coveting her husband–it’s not like you’re lusting after him.” Uh. No. That’s not the way it works, Rebekah. Sin is sin. “How could you not covet that life?” Scripture says that God won’t give you temptation beyond what you can bear.

What is the antidote to covetousness? Philippians 4:11 “I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” And how do I do that? Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Lord, strengthen me, that I might say with Paul: “I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” (Philippians 4:12) Help me to learn–whether single or married, whether a student or a working woman, whether young or old, whether fat or skinny, whether well-dressed or with nothing to wear–to be content.