Tiempo menos doce horas (T minus 12 hours)

Twelve more hours before my plane lifts off. I’ll be on my way. Layover in Houston, arrive in Laredo. A few days in Laredo and we’ll go down to Juamave. I’m leaving. It’s actually happening. A month in Mexico. Wow.

I can hardly believe the words that I see appearing on the screen before me. Mexico? It’s surreal. A month? It’s so long, so short.

I’m not a missionary. I’m not a traveler. I’m not anything spectacular. I’m not a teacher. I’m not brilliant. All I’m doing is trying to be obedient.

I don’t know what God has planned–which is why I’m going to have to leave the planning up to Him. From the first nudge in my soul ’til now, I have been apprehensive, doubtful, nervous.

How could I even dare such a thing?

I don’t think I really can. Instead, I must rely on God to do the daring for me.

Five and a half years ago, I stood in a wood in Kansas and stepped through a tree-door. I heard an invitation from the lover of my soul. He invited me to come and see. I had to leave my mundane, attractive, well-planned world. I had to leave the tame I’d always known. I had to fix my eyes on my wild man lover–and follow Him wherever he led.

Five and a half years later, I stand twelve hours from a plane trip that may well change my life. Maybe I’m over-dramatizing the situation–but I tend to think not. The last time I heard such clear direction, my view of ministry was transformed. The time before that, I came to understand justification–and had my shame taken away. How can this time be any different?

I don’t know what the next month may hold–but I know what my role in it shall be. I shall lock eyes with my wild man lover. I shall take hold of His hand. I shall respond to His ever invitation. I will go and see.

They said to Him, “Rabbi” (which is to say, when translated, Teacher), “where are You staying?” He said to them, “Come and see.” They came and saw where He was staying, and remained with Him…
John 1:38-39


Adios a los Estados Unidos. !Hola Mexico!

I’ve kept my summer in the realm of possibilities for months now–since last October when Caroline told me that she was looking for a tutor for Rebekah. At that time, I didn’t know which internship I would get into. I didn’t know what my financial status would be. I’m not even sure I had finalized plans for a job during my hiatus from school. So a summer in Mexico was only ever a possibility, not anywhere close to a reality.

But today I finally made the call that changed it all. Caroline is expecting me to meet them in Texas in the middle of July. She’s expecting me to be there for a month. I’m checking on prices for plane tickets, comparing them to prices for driving down. I need to talk to my boss about unpaid leave tomorrow. I’m on my way to Mexico.

It won’t be a vacation–but it won’t be a “missions trip” either. It’s my chance to minister to Jim and Caroline and to their children. It’s my chance to bless their family. I don’t have a lot to give–my Spanish is somewhere along the spectrum of bad to awful, sometimes I feel my faith is incredibly weak–but I can teach. I can teach grammar and spelling and reading and writing. I can teach math and science. Maybe I can help them develop healthy eating habits as they’ve requested that I do. I don’t have a lot. I don’t consider myself a missionary. Nor do I consider this a missions trip. Instead, it is a chance for me to serve God by serving His people.

“I could do that” was the first thing I thought when Caroline mentioned the need. But there was so much uncertainty. Where would I be? What would my finances be? I couldn’t say anything and get her hopes up and not be able to follow through. So I waited. The sense I had whenever I mentioned the possibility was the same as I had when I’d first heard God tell me to go to Florida. I was excited. I was scared to death. I wanted with all my heart to be obedient. I wanted with all my heart for God to call me to do something else.

“Mexico–Lord, what about my Spanish?”
I was Moses’ tongue. I can be yours too.
But work…
Do you trust Me, Rebekah?

It’ll be an adventure. It’ll be hard work. It’ll be exhausting. It’ll be exhilarating. But God didn’t call me to have a bag packed for no reason–He called me to pack my bag so I’d be ready to go.

So, adios a los Estados Unidos. !Hola, Mexico! Estoy viniendo a ustedes.


…as to the Lord…

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men.” Colossians 3:23

I’ve always interpreted that Scripture to mean that I should always work as hard as possible–put everything I have into my work. But recently, I’ve been forced to re-evaluate that position.

We’ve been incredibly busy at work, putting in overtime and working at least six days a week. I’m blessed that my bosses have honored my decision not to work on Sundays–some of my fellow employees are working 8 or 9 days in a row before they get a break.

With the busyness, I’ve shifted into warp speed. I go into the dishroom every night about fifteen minutes before we close the serving lines and stay there until the last dish is cleaned, the machine is shut down, and the floors are mopped. It takes at least an hour and a half. During that time, I’m flying–running from one end of the room to grab some pans, rearranging dishes on the belt, putting pans on the line, scrubbing some pans for a while, zipping back to the belt, helping out with trays coming in, then back to more pans. Around and around I go, moving a hundred miles a minute. By the time the dishroom is done, so am I. Done for, that is. I can’t do anything else that evening. I’ve exhausted myself. I drop the moment I get home and can’t do anything productive until I drag myself to work the next morning at 11.

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men.” If that means working as hard as possible, putting all that I have into my work, I’ve been doing it. But somehow, I’m starting to think that my original interpretation needs some tweaking.

See, when I’m moving a hundred miles a minute, I’m not doing it for the Lord–I’m doing it for me. I want to get done. I want others to see how hardworking I am. I want to take responsibility for everything. I’m doing it for the accolades. Ultimately, I’m doing it for my pride.

Heartily, as to the Lord. What does the Lord expect and require from me in regard to work? With what attitude would He have me work?

I did an informal word study on “work” today–and discovered that the primary reference to work in Scriptures is, amazingly, in reference to the Sabbath. God worked 6 days. Then He rested. Man is to do all his work in 6 days. Then he is to rest. What is the penalty for breaking the Sabbath? Death.

I’m beginning to formulate an idea in my mind. Maybe God doesn’t want me to give my all to my work. Certainly He wouldn’t have me be slothful. But maybe God’s plan is actually that I work diligently, with excellence, but in such a way that I am not consumed by work. I know we usually use the phrase “consumed by work” to refer to someone who lives, eats, and breathes work–and has no life outside of work. We use it to refer to a workaholic. But in reality, to be consumed means “to be used up, to be completely destroyed.” I’ve been working to the degree that work is using me up, destroying me. And that’s not honoring to God.

So maybe, just maybe, God wants me to not work so hard. Maybe He wants me to take a Sabbath–even at work. Maybe He considers me more important than my work, and wants me to do my work in such a way that I can remain healthy in the midst of it.

So this week, I have an assignment: to learn how to work heartily (with warmth and sincerity, thoroughly, completely, with zest or enthusiasm, with great appetite or enjoyment) as if working for the Lord instead of for my pride.


The Rains Fall

It’s been a discouraging last several months–with so many things going on personally and feeling like the heavens are brass. Feeling like my prayers are unheard–or maybe I’m not even really praying–maybe I’m just repeating a ritual trying to conjure something into existence.

It’s been raining almost continually in Nebraska this entire spring. Many of the farmers are still struggling to get their crops planted. But my heart has been in drought.

Today, the rains began to fall–and I can’t say how wonderful it feels.

Instead of having a formal “class” in Sunday School today, we prayed together for requests and then headed out into pre-service prayer for a time of personally seeking God. God led me to Jeremiah 29–my life verses.

Verse 10 says “After 70 years are completed at Babylon, I will visit you and perform my good word toward you.” Wow. How quick I am to doubt that God will fulfill His word–yet the Jews had to wait 70 years for their return from captivity.

Verse 11 gives hope: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you…thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” God reminded me not to despair–His plans for me haven’t changed. The thoughts that He has toward me still include a future and a hope.

Verses 12-14 echo the inklings God has been speaking through Matthew–“And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you…” God isn’t so far off that He will not be found. When I ask, I will receive. When I seek, I will find. He opens the door to me when I knock.

Finally, God took me back to Matthew 6:25-34 for the bottom line: “Do not worry. I am God. Seek Me.”

Amen


Questions, Comments, Observations?

In our 20s Sunday School, I’m fond of asking for “questions, comments, observations?” as we read each passage. But sometimes I forget to answer my own questions when I’m doing my personal reading. I read the word as I would a novel, taking it as it comes, doing it to pass time–or because “I’m reading every book in Eiseley Library.

I want to know God, to have an encounter with Him in the Word. I want to see God and to hear His voice through the Word. I want the Word to come alive. But it doesn’t seem that it is so–and even asking for it seems so often to be another dry religious ritual. Either I’m passionlessly asking for passion, or I’m conjuring emotion. It feels fake.

Sunday morning in Sunday school, I shared a bit of my struggles with the class–that just happened to be Debbie and two of my brothers. And I resolved yesterday that I was going to keep on seeking, keep on knocking. I resolved that even if I go through the flames, I will worship God and Him only.

Last night I read Matthew 4–and for the first time in a long time, I asked myself for questions, comments, and observations. And, to my surprise, I discovered a lot.

For instance, have you ever noticed that verse says that Jesus was “led by the Spirit into the wilderness”? The Spirit was leading; Jesus was following–and He ended up in the wilderness. So often when I end up in a wilderness, I get depressed because I figure that either the Spirit isn’t leading or I’m not following. I end up either mad at God or full of condemnation towards myself. But the Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness.

And then I noticed something new about the first temptation. Jesus had been fasting 40 days. He was hungry. The devil comes to Him and says “If you are the Son of Man, command these stones to become bread.” Now that’s a strange temptation. What’s sinful about making stones into bread? Jesus made water into wine–working that type of miracle apparently isn’t taboo. So why not just do it?

Jesus’ answer was deeper than the devil expected, I’m sure. “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” The devil was urging Jesus to give into His body’s hunger. Satan would have loved for Christ to be ruled by the needs of His body, by the cares of His flesh. Satan would have loved it if Jesus had become concerned about what He was going to eat, where He was going to sleep, what He would wear. From the devil’s perspective–it would have been great if Jesus had lived for food and by His body’s hunger.

But the devil’s wish was denied. “Man doesn’t live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” I can see a bit of a double meaning in Jesus’ answer. Man can’t live on physical food–He must also be fed by the Word–that’s our traditional interpretation (and it’s correct too). But isn’t it also true–and do not Jesus’ actions illustrate that man cannot be led by his hunger for physical food–but He must “live by” and be led by the Word of God.

It was and continues to be a moment of slow epiphany for me. I “knew” the first meaning–and that’s why I kept plugging on with reading the Word–but the second meaning was lost in the shuffle. I was being led by my body–by going to work to pay the bills and coming home and keeping the house clean and eating meals and fulfilling all those things my body (and flesh) demands. I was simply seeking Maslow’s hierarchy of “needs”. But I was not living by the Word of God–I was not being led by the Word–such that at God’s word I travel or stand still.

Help me Lord, to live beyond bread–beyond the worries of this world. Help me to live by your word–hearing Your voice and obeying, following Your leading–whether to the garden or to the wilderness.


Living Life Together

Almost everyone in my Life Group was out of town this weekend, so we canceled our meeting tonight. Instead, I joined another Life Group for the evening. After a bit of trouble finding the house (my fault for assuming that the street one block from 33rd would be 32nd!), I arrived just in time to begin.

I was welcomed warmly into the group–that was small that night because several of their members were also gone. It was myself, one of my good friends, our youth pastor and his wife, and another couple that I don’t know very well.

It was wonderful–I love that I belong to a church that opens their lives to one another. Our little “catchphrase” is “Living Life Together”–and that’s truly what occurs. Even though I didn’t “belong” to that group, I still belonged. I was welcomed. I was given the freedom to share, to cry, to pray. We chatted for quite a while afterward, informally. We talked about marathon running and the origins of the band “Black Sabbath” and teased about women always spending forever talking (while the men kept asking each other question after question after question.) After our youth pastor and his wife left, my friend and I could just chat on the couch for a while longer–our hosts didn’t mind.

We got to catch up on life–talk one on one. It seems we don’t get that too often anymore now that I’m not sponsoring at Z-360 with her any more. Now almost all our visiting time is with little siblings or quasi-siblings hanging around. Nothing like how we used to be able to chat while setting up the room for Wednesday night services. So it was nice to just enjoy conversation.

This is just one of the many things I love about my church–I love my own Life Group, but I love that I can drop by any other one and be with people who care for me and will pray for me. I love that I have a family and quasi-family within my church that “hangs out” all the time. I love that I have sisters like my friend who I can be real with. I love that I can share my heart with the body and know that they value and guard my heart.

That’s what the church is–it’s people, living together, together being conformed to the image of Christ. None of us individually can truly reflect the glory of God–but as we all live together in Christ, God begins to reveal Himself to, in, and through us.


MY Dance

Our pastor’s son, Brandon, mentioned to me a while back that his sister Ashley had been imitating me during worship. When I sat a bit further back than normal on Easter Sunday, I noticed this same phenomenon.

Ashley

I recognized the rhythms of her dance, the movement of her arms and hands. She was dancing my dance before the Lord.

It’s a great and awesome responsibility to be a role model for a young child. Jesus said “whoever causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea.” Little children are born imitators–when they imitate me, do they see a walk of uprightness or do they stumble because of me?

It’s a sobering thought. Ashley watches and imitates every sway of my arms, every swish of my hips. She imitates me as I bow or kneel. When I twirl, so does she. So what does she learn as she imitates me?

Does she learn the greatness and worthiness of God as she imitates my worship? Does she see His love as we dance together? Does she follow a life of devotion to the King? Or does she see exhibition, inhibition, or insincerity? Do I put a stumbling block in the way of my little imitator, or am I letting this little one come unto Christ?

Lord, grant that I, like Paul, could say “Imitate me, as I imitate Christ.”


Scared if I do

I’m scared if I do and I’m scared if I don’t. Last November, I knew exactly what to do this summer. I was going to Jacksonville. There was no doubt in my mind that that was the right thing to do. And then I got back to work at home and everything became muddled. I went back to thinking that the church needed me–I couldn’t leave. (Hello, Rebekah! Even our Pastor has gone on sabbatical! Why can’t you?) And I started to think that since my scholarship is on the way out the door, I can’t afford to give my summer to God. (Hello, Rebekah! Didn’t God promise to provide for you if you put Him first? He always has in the past.) And I started to think that if I went to Jacksonville, I’d have to grow. And I wondered if that was really what I wanted.

I’d convinced myself that I couldn’t do STP during the month of December. And then came January. I realized with startling awareness that all those excuses were the same excuses I’d been telling God before November–when everything became so clear. God had already roundly refuted those excuses. So why was I going back to them again? And so I knew that I must go to STP. I flirted with the application, thought about putting filling it out on my to-do list. I wavered, then my resolution grew. It was God’s plan. Just as I’d known in November, I knew now. I was supposed to apply for STP.

I hadn’t yet filled out the application when Jackie approached me tonight. She asked me to think about being a team leader. And all the questions that filled my mind threatened to make me rip up the application and say to heck with it. Can I really lead? Can I lead my peers? I don’t think they know what they’re asking. I’m not really that spiritual. I’m not sure that I’m really that good of a Christian. Can I really do it? Or have I just been really good at faking in the past? And what about leading anyway? I’ve never actually led anything at Navs before. Ever. Not really. I mean, I’ve given my testimony, served. I talk to people and participate in discussion and stuff. But I’m not a leader here. How do they even know that I have any potential–if I have any potential?

And what about getting away from a performance mentality? Would this put me right back into it? would this destroy my chances of taking time to spend with the Lord and with fellow believers instead of trying to be super-Christian and hold the church on my shoulders? And what about only being able to work a part time job? Lord, do You really provide? But I want to do it so much. Do you know how I’ve longed to lead? How frustrated I have been at having so many opportunities to serve–which I love–but never having the opportunity to truly lead. I want so badly to be able to live life with another person and help them to grow. I want so badly to learn to lead others into the Word. I want so badly to learn to empathize
for others–to weep when they’re weeping and laugh when they’re laughing. I want to be a leader. I want to learn it. I want to teach and be trained to do so. I want to lead and be trained to do so. I want to disciple and be trained to do so. But I’m scared to death to even try.

Are You really sufficient
When my cup can’t hold any more?
Are You really enough
When I’m empty?
When I sin
Are You still the One
Who ransoms?
When I’m lost
Are You still
the Good Shepherd?
And when I long
for a husband
Are you still my bridegroom?
Jesus are you?
Are you really enough?
How can I do this?
I’m dying inside?
Are you still my life?
I don’t feel it
Are you still interceding?
How I need it
Jesus, my Saviour
Jesus, my Lord
Jesus, my Lover
Jesus, my Life
I need it, I need You
Help!


Laying aside my plans

I have everything to say and nothing to say. My world has been rocked but I don’t know how to say it. I am not what I was, but I cannot describe what I am. The unexplainable has touched my explanation and I am speechless. The God-plan has touched my man-plan, and my plan is naught. I wanted until I met the desire of nations, now my want is swallowed up in desire. My life is changed, I know not how. I only know that I have had an encounter with the living God.

How long has God been prompting me to lay aside my plans for His great call? I don’t know. The first I can remember is in July of 2002 when God spoke to me in a car on the way back from Omaha, “Rebekah, will you give me your husband?” Then in January of 2003, while I was spending time with God on a farm in Kansas: “Rebekah, I’m a wild God. You have a choice-your tame dreams or the wilderness with Me.” In March of 2005 my pastor approached me with the Scripture in Luke 10 of Mary and Martha. God spoke to me that I was distracted with much service, just as Martha had been.

I remember telling my youth pastor, when I was applying for youth council in 9th grade, that my life verse was Jeremiah 29:11–and that I liked it not because of the “prosper and not harm you” part but because of the part that says God has a plan. You see, I’ve always liked to be in control, but that verse reminds me that God is in control, not me. I wrote about my struggle to let God take control in a poem: Struggle

I don’t know when the breaking started, I only can think of the great hammer blow this weekend has been. I went to Main Event, only to hear a message the speaker wasn’t speaking. It wasn’t the small groups, the message, the songs, or the workshops. I don’t know how it was being spoken, but I heard it loud and clear. I must die to my plans.

God has been speaking to me to step down from a number of my roles within the church. I’ve been scared to death and been disobedient in my procrastination. I think that I can do something great for God and for others within my church, but my plans are nothing more than MYSELF. And myself has nothing to offer. My friend, Jeannette helped me see the error of remaining in that sin. And so I went to Main Event.

As I was packing my bags, I remembered the phrase that has been haunting my brain for years. “Always have a bag packed.” It’s a staccato in my mind. Over and over and over again. “Always have a bag packed. Always have a bag packed. Always. Always. Always have a bag packed.” And I have not. Almost three years ago, I stepped through a door made of tree branches. From the world I had known–the world of tame dreams, of a tame husband, of a tame life–into the wild. The wild had nothing to offer me except one thing–my husband and Lord, my Wild Man Lover was beckoning me to join Him there. And I stepped through the door, recognizing that my nice, tame life would be worth nothing if I were separated from the Lover of my soul–the Wild One who calls my heart. I followed Him to the next step, and then I sat down, unpacked my bags, and civilized the wild. I took on bondage as if it were freedom, and unpacked my bags to settle in for the long haul. I forgot that anytime my Lover and my Lord may part the Red Sea and call me back into the wilderness. I unpacked my bags.

Friday night, Drew Frazier mentioned the topic of our God being wild, untamed. And the memories flooded my mind. When I was deep in the throes of a tumultuous relationship, God calling out to me, persistently crying: “What about me? What about me? Do you really love Me with all your heart, soul and mind? Do you really want Me above all else? What about ‘Bob’? Do you love Me more than he? Why don’t you read My letters like you read his? Why don’t you spend hours talking to Me like you do to him? What about Me?” The jealous God, calling out my Name, determined to give His praise to none other. I remember the God that asked me to give up my dream of world travel, only to send me to Sweden. I remember the God that meets me when I least expect it. And I remembered my call to follow after my Wild Man Lover.

The next day, I went to an EDGE corps informational meeting. And frankly, I wasn’t really that interested. I don’t want to do EDGE–it would get in the way of all of my plans. I want instead to finish school and run my community center and do all sorts of wonderful stuff for God, and for others, and for myself. EDGE doesn’t fit into that plan. And God said, “Whose plan was that again?” And I had to hang my head and confess, “Mine.” “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord. And I can only hang my head further and declare, “Yes, Lord.” I’ve been following my plan instead of running after Christ, living in my comfort instead of for His glory. And so, my plans must die.

I made my vow and declared it Saturday night. All of my ambitions, dreams, and plans are nothing compared to the greatness of knowing Christ. All of my serving, doing, and accomplishment are nothing compared to sitting at His feet. My goal cannot be to do something great for God or to do something great for others, or to be something great for myself. Instead, my one and only goal must be to chase after Christ and follow wherever He leads me.

Quite frankly, it scares me to death. What if He calls me to change my major? I didn’t choose it with Him in mind–I chose it with an earthly husband in mind. What if He calls me to not complete an internship–thus not actually doing anything with my degree. Will I have wasted five years of my life? What if He calls me to EDGE–and I never have a chance to see my community center dream come to fruition? What if He calls me to drop out of school? What if He calls me to work full time? What if He calls me to never marry? What if He calls me to marry? The difficulty is I don’t know what He wants me to do. Everything is up in the air. The only thing that is for certain is that I must follow Him. But I know that the only thing worth doing is following Him.

Lord, work in me to will and to do Your good pleasure. Continue to break my heart of the things that are not of Your heart. Continue to cleanse me of all that is unholy. And lead me, lead me, wherever You would have me go. You are my husband, and I will follow You wherever You go. You are my Lover, and I would not be separated from You. You are my champion, and I will not leave Your corner. For You, my Wild Man Lover, are the only one worthy of my life.


A Jacob Generation

If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a hundred times. Our songs are full of it, our sermons full of hope. We sing, we speak, we proclaim “This is the generation of those who seek Your face.” That’s what we want, we say, but do we even know what it means?

Psalm 24:5-6 say “He shall receive blessing from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of his salvation. This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him, who seek Your face. Selah.” One song we sing says, “This is the generation that seeks Your face, O God of Jacob.” Can you hear the difference between the two? While the song merely proclaims God to be the God of Jacob (which is perfectly true and appropriate), the Psalm declares that this generation is Jacob, the generation that seeks God’s face. While the song leads us nowhere in our study of Scriptures, the Psalm begs us to take a look at Jacob seeking God.

Genesis 32:24-32 tells the story of Jacob wrestling with God. Jacob had been left alone and a Man came out and they wrestled until day broke. The Man could not prevail against Jacob, so He touched Jacob’s leg, leaving him with a limp. At daybreak, the Man ordered Jacob to let Him go. Jacob refused, “Not until you bless me.” So the Man asked Jacob’s name, only to say, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have struggled with God and with men and have prevailed.” When Jacob asked the Man’s name, He only laughed, “Why do you want to know My name?” Then the Man blessed Jacob. Then Jacob named the place where they had been Peniel because He had seen God face to face and his life had been preserved.

What are the characteristics of a Jacob generation, a generation that seeks God’s face? The first is solitude with God. All the people left, and Jacob was alone with God. The second characteristic is wrestling with God. This generation holds on to God, spending all night if necessary wrestling. The third characteristic is the persistence of Jacob, who even at daybreak, refused to let go of God until He had blessed him.

And we cannot study the generation of Jacob without studying God’s response to this generation’s persistence and insistence upon God’s blessing. The first thing God did to Jacob was touch his hip so that he walked with a limp. The generation of Jacob is marked by a limp. This generation has had an encounter with God in such a way that their walk is forever changed. Additionally, when Jacob refused to let go, calling out for a blessing, God changed his name. A generation of Jacob is set apart by a changed identity. The very fiber of their being has been changed by an encounter with God. And the third thing God did in response to Jacob’s plea was blessing him. God heard Jacob’s prayer and answered. The generation of Jacob cries out to God and He answers.

To all those who desire to be a generation who seeks God’s face, take a look at Jacob’s encounter. The call to be a generation of Jacob is not small call. It requires solitude, wrestling, persistent. It results in a new way of walking, a new identity, and answered prayer. To all who sing of seeking, consider now what you sing. Are you willing to seek if it takes all night? Are you willing to wrestle, even wounded? Are you willing to persist, even when its been forever and your request has not been granted? Are you willing to let your walk be forever changed? Are you willing to let your identity be changed? Are you willing to accept what it means to be blessed by God? Consider and fear. Consider and rise up to the challenge. For it is only when we as a church step forward as a Jacob generation, that the world can be transformed.