Waiting for the Wedding

A glimpse into my mind as the hour of my brother’s wedding draws near…

Jealous Matchmaker

In II Corinthians 11:2, Paul says “For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.”

I didn’t make the match between Debbie and Daniel, but I recognize this thought.

I threw Debbie a bachelorette party a couple of weeks back. As I planned it, I was appalled by the sorts of ideas that are generally seen as bachelorette party fare.

Yes, I wanted to embarrass Debbie. But I wanted to be able to present her as a chaste virgin to my brother. I was jealous that she not offer herself to anyone but him.

Preparing for the Wedding

Matthew 25:6-10

“And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!’ Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.”

I’m a “prepare-for-every-eventuality” kind of gal–which makes me just the sort of person to be the last-minute-detail person. I’ve spent significant time considering every possibility and preparing for what might happen so that I can respond to any emergency without a problem. I have my “kit” packed up so that runs in hose, torn out hems, hair that won’t lay flat, cameras without batteries, and hungry attendants won’t cause problems for this wedding.

I won’t let what happened to these bridesmaids happen to me. I won’t be off running interference and miss the wedding. I’m prepared in advance because I want to be a full participant in this wedding.

My joy fulfilled in theirs

Jesus had come and was baptizing, and many of those who had previously been coming to hear John and be baptized now came to hear Jesus and be baptized by His disciples. John’s disciples are jealous for their leader’s following. In John 3, John the Baptist answers his disciples concern:

“He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease.”

Daniel is the middle child in our family. He is four years younger than I. Yet he is the first to be married.

Am I melancholy about this?

Yes. A little.

I would have liked to have been first. In fact, we all kind of suspected that I would be first. But that isn’t what has occurred.

I think it’s always difficult for a single person to go to wedding after wedding, as friend after friend gets married and they remain single.

But the bit of envy I harbor is none so great as the joy I experience that my brother and my friend will be joined in marriage today.

I rejoice as I prepare for this wedding. I rejoice that today is THEIR day. I rejoice that today I can hear the bridegroom’s voice, my brother’s voice, as he gets closer and closer to the time he will be joined to his bride. I rejoice as I fuss over Debbie, preparing her for the time when she will be joined to my brother.

I am the friend. This is my joy.

I can celebrate as a jealous matchmaker, a prepared attendant, a friend of the bridegroom. The culmination of my “ministry” to them has come.

My name appears nowhere in this wedding’s order–I am not the focus. And that’s exactly as it should be.

I must decrease, they must increase. And this, this is my joy.


Fruits Worthy of Repentance

When the people of Israel come out to John to be baptized (Luke 3:7-14), he rebukes them sharply:

“Brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Therefore, bear fruits worthy of repentance…Therefore, every tree which does not bear good fruit and thrown into the fire.”

It’s obvious that John is not pleased with whatever the people had been doing–but his command is a bit…vague. What are “fruits worthy of repentance”?

The people, understandably, want some more specifics:

“What shall we do then?”

John’s answers came as a bit of a surprise, to me, at least.

If I were forced to name some “fruits worthy of repentance”, I don’t know what I’d come up with.

I can guess at what the most popular responses might be if I queried members of my church.

Religious acts: Going to church. Reading the Bible. Praying. Tithing.
Avoiding “worldliness”: Not cussing. Not drinking. Not watching R-rated movies.
Intangibles: Being at peace. Being joyful. Loving people.

There’s nothing wrong with these things. There is certainly Biblical support for doing the items on the first list. There’s some Biblical support for not doing the things on the second list. And the third list includes items that are described in Scripture as “fruit of the Spirit.”

But what does John think of when he thinks of “fruits worthy of repentance”? What does he have to say to the questioning masses?

To the general public, he says:

“He who has two tunics, let him give to him who has none; and he who has food let him do likewise.”

To the tax collectors, who used extortion to pad their own coffers, he commanded:

“Collect no more than what is appointed for you.”

To the soldiers, who used their positions to bully and cheat, he directed:

“Do not intimidate anyone or accuse falsely, and be content with your wages.”

John’s “fruits worthy of repentance” look oddly…societal.

Could it be that the proper display of the “fruits of repentance” is not simply found in internal, private acts?

John seems to suggest that the fruits worthy of repentance are what we might call “social justice.”

It’s clothing the beggar, feeding the homeless, not exercising our personal privilege at others’ expense. It’s not defaming others, not exacting personal grudges.

Ephesians 4 (v. 25-32) supports this view that repentance results in changed actions and attitudes towards our fellow man.

“Therefore, putting away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor’ for we are all members of one another. ‘Be angry and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place for the devil. Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearer…And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

What do fruits worthy of repentance look like in my life? What do they look like in yours?

It means being silent when someone misuses me. It means speaking only what brings life to the hearer. It means working diligently and giving freely.

It means putting off my SELF-love and demonstrating love for OTHERS.


Easily Deceived Eve (Part 3 of 3)

Check out Part 1, in which I discuss why God chose to hold Adam, not Eve, responsible for the sin of mankind, and Part 2, in which I reflect on the command that women not teach or have authority over a man.

Male/female relationships and roles is a topic that is always fraught with questions, emotions, and opinions. No doubt, what I’ve already written in this “Easily Deceived Eve” series has raised questions in your mind. It certainly has in mine.

So today, I’m going to use a question and answer format to address some of the questions I have thought about while writing this series–and to clarify a few things that I thought might have been confusing.

Are you saying that men can’t be deceived?

Nope. Both men and women are capable of being deceived. Women may or may not be more likely to be deceived than men. I Timothy 2:14 suggests but does not outright teach that this is true. Regardless, God has given safeguards to protect women from the consequences of being deceived.

Men can be deceived–and will be held responsible as the heads of their households if they lead their families astray. A woman who is under proper authority, on the other hand, is protected from this judgment.

So basically, we’re just supposed to believe whatever our heads (husbands/fathers) tell us to believe?

I didn’t say that.

You have been given a mind and you have a responsibility to use it. The headship of man is by no means a call to complacency. Women should still search out the Scriptures to see what things are true. On the other hand, we should definitely be careful to consider what our head has to say about an issue.

Does this mean that you’re always going to agree with your head? I definitely don’t agree with my dad about everything. However, I (attempt to) respectfully listen to and consider his positions on points that we disagree about. Sometimes he changes my mind, sometimes I change his mind, sometimes we agree to disagree. But I will NOT teach something that my dad and I disagree about unless my dad is in agreement that I share my point of view in addition to his.

Headship is not about an authoritarian head laying down the law and a complacent body giving in to it. Rather, headship is about a loving head and a submissive body partnering together to discover and do God’s will.

That male headship stuff is all great if you’ve got a godly father or husband who wants to protect you–but what if the man who’s supposed to be your protector isn’t protecting?

It’s very unfortunate when this happens, but I think the first thing to remember is that you won’t ever solve the problem by taking on a role that isn’t your own. If male headship is indeed a protective measure for women (as I have proposed it to be), then our response to “inadequate” headship should be to be even more cautious in teaching or taking authority rather than less.

A sagging, broken down fence between me and a bull is little protection for me. But I don’t solve that problem by getting closer to the bull. Instead, I move farther away and choose to intentionally seek out more protection.

The answer to not having a godly husband or father to guard you is NOT to go gung-ho into teaching and having authority over a man (especially not YOUR man, married women!) Instead, you should encourage your head in his role and seek out additional authorities to put yourself under. You can encourage your head in his role by asking his advice before making decisions and by respectfully submitting to what guidance he gives. You can ask godly older women to counsel and correct you. You can submit teachings or doctrinal questions to your pastors and elders. But the answer to not having a good “head” is certainly not to attempt to get close to the bull since there’s no good fence to stop you.

All this talk about “Easily Deceived Eve” has me kind of down on myself. Is that what you intended?

At the end of C.S. Lewis’s fantasy tale Prince Caspian, Aslan tells the story of the Telmarine people and how they came to Narnia. It is not a pretty tale. Caspian responds that he wishes he “came of a more honourable lineage.” Aslan’s response is thus:

“You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve. And that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content.”

As “daughters of Eve”, we are easily deceived (I Tim 2:14). We have all fallen through Adam’s sin (Rom 5:12). Part of sin’s result has been that we desire mastery over man (Gen 3:16)–seeking to overcome the protection of headship. This all is “shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth.”

As “daughters of Eve”, we have been created in the image of God (Gen 1:27). We have been created to have dominion (Gen 1:28). We have been created to fulfill the essential role of helper (Gen 2:18). We have been created to be life-givers (Gen. 3:20). We have been created as the glory of man (I Cor 11:7). This is “honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar.”

Our creation is cause for great honor, our fall a cause for great shame–but, thanks be to God, He does not leave us in our shame, but has sent His Son as the Second Adam to justify and make righteous all who believe on His name (Rom 5:18-19.) This is cause for great rejoicing.

So recognize the honor inherent in our creation, be brought low by the shame inherent in our fall–but most of all, rejoice in the justification you have received in Christ.


Easily Deceived Eve (Part 2 of 3)

Check out Part 1 of “Easily Deceived Eve”, in which I discuss why God chose to hold Adam, not Eve, responsible for the sin of mankind.

Easily Deceived Eve.

What a moniker. What a shameful blow.

Imagine the worst dumb blond joke you can think of–Eve ups the ante.

“So a serpent walks up to Eve and says, ‘Hey, if you eat this fruit, you’ll be wise like God.’ She looks at the serpent, looks at the fruit, and says ‘You’re right! This is good fruit. So she takes a bite.”

I mean, hello!?! Didn’t anybody ever tell you not to listen to just any old snake-fruit salesman?

But Eve falls for it. She’s one gullible gal.

Yet Scripture seems to suggest that not only Eve but all women are prone to Eve’s naivete.

I Timothy 2:14 gives Eve’s “easily deceived” nature as a reason (apart from the created order of male headship) that women should not teach or have authority over men.

The implication is that a woman, being easily deceived, might unknowingly lead into falsehood if men were under her spiritual authority.

I Corinthians 14 affirms that women are not to teach or have authority over men–but takes it one step further by saying that women should keep silent in the churches, not being permitted to speak.

Of course, one must realize that the “church service” in Corinth looked quite different from ours today–the order of service in which “each of you has a psalm, has a teaching, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation” would make it very difficult for a woman to speak in church without teaching or having authority over a man.

Regardless, women are encouraged to learn in silence with submission, asking questions of their husbands at home rather than disrupting the service for their questions–or worse yet, than interrupting the service for a misguided teaching.

At various times, I’ve chafed at this command.

In my remarkable humility (Hah!), I recognize that I have a high IQ, a great deal of education, and a natural aptitude for teaching. Why should I not use the gifts God has given me?

My pride (while inexcusable) is not without cause. Many within the church and without have confirmed that I am intelligent, well-read, and highly educated. They agree that I teach with passion and ease. When I teach, people learn. When I explain, they understand.

But God would protect me from what I, in my pride, consider beneath me.

I think I’m too smart to fall for deception. I think that somehow I can escape Eve’s vulnerability. But I cannot.

If Eve, with a mind uncorrupted by sin, as a woman who had experienced unbroken fellowship with God, could be deceived–how much more can I, with my sin-twisted and sleep-deprived mind and my through-a-glass-dimly view of God?

I am Eve, easily deceived.

God knows it–which is why He has placed this protection over me. James 3:1 says that teachers receive a stricter judgment. God would keep me from this stricter judgment by not having me teach or have authority over a man.

God would protect me by placing me under the headship of man (today, as a single woman, under Christ and my father; someday, Lord willing, under Christ and my husband.)

When I do teach–and I do, using my giftings to teach women and youth spiritually and people of all stripes in my secular area of expertise–I teach under the authority of my father, who offers me good counsel and brings correction when I am in error.

As I teach under the authority of my father, I am protected. My father, to whose authority I submit, is held responsible for error that he sees but fails to correct. This guards me against teaching out of deception.

At the same time, since I am teaching those who are also under authority (women and youth), I have an additional protection. These who hear my teaching are under the authority of husbands and fathers who can correct deceptions that I have unknowingly passed along.

God, recognizing in me Eve’s weakness, chose to protect me from myself by restricting my ability to self-destruct. To rebel against His protective structure is not wisdom but madness.

If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, take a look at my thoughts on why God chose to hold Adam, not Eve, responsible for the sin of mankind. And stay tuned for part 3, which should be posted on Friday.


Easily Deceived Eve (Part 1 of 3)

When I was a teen in youth group, my youth pastor enjoyed getting a rise out of me by asserting that the fall of mankind was Eve’s fault. After all, Eve ate the forbidden fruit first.

A bit of a feminist in my earlier days(!), I could be counted upon to take umbrage at the remark, arguing that man and woman bore equal guilt.

Today, that youth pastor is the lead pastor of my church and one of my peers from youth group has succeeded him as youth pastor. To this day, either of them can count on me to raise my eyebrows, roll my eyes, or issue a little snort when they make such an assertion. (Please recognize that they make these remarks as a jest, so my “humph” response is not a sign of disrespect. They would be the first to tell you so.)

What Jason and Jeremy may not realize is that my reasons for disagreeing with that statement have changed over the years.

It started as a feminist response–“Hey, don’t try to pin the sin of mankind on us. Men and women alike are equal opportunity sinners.” But as I’ve studied the Word, specifically what Scripture has to say about women, I’ve revised my position.

While men and women may be equal opportunity sinners today (having all been born with a sin nature), God holds man (Adam) responsible for the first sin. Romans 5:12 states that “through one man sin entered the world”, and verse 14 clarifies that this was “the transgression of Adam.”

This might sound like I’m becoming even more rabid in my early tendencies towards feminism. Now I’m not only claiming that Adam shared equal fault with Eve–but that Adam was fully responsible for the first sin. Vilifying man, justifying woman. That’s what it might sound like if I leave the argument there.

But I won’t. The reality is that Eve deserves neither the praise that the aforementioned view would afford her, or the censure that my pastors would jestingly give her. Eve disobeyed God’s command. She ate of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil–which God had forbidden her and Adam from eating. She sinned and gave the fruit to Adam so that he also sinned.

God chose to hold Adam responsible for the sin of mankind. Why?

This is the tricky part. Adam was held responsible because God, even prior to the fall, ordained the headship of man. I Corinthians 11:3 states that the head of every man is Christ and the head of woman is man. Paul goes on to state that this is inherent in creation: “…but woman is the glory of man. For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head.”

The headship of man makes him responsible not only for his own sin, but also for the sin of his wife.

This concept, inherent in creation, is codified in Numbers 30, where God sets out laws for women who make vows. According to the law, if a woman makes a vow, her husband, upon hearing it, can declare that vow void. Neither he nor his wife will be held responsible for the vow she made. On the other hand, if her husband does not nullify the vow on the day that he hears it, he is now responsible to God for the fulfillment of that vow.

I Timothy 2:14 states that “the woman, being deceived, fell into transgression.” On the other hand, “Adam was not deceived.” Instead, he stood by as his wife was deceived; and then, not being deceived himself, he willfully took and consumed the fruit in opposition to God’s plan.

Eve was deceived and fell into transgression. Adam willfully chose to disobey the command of God, knowing full well what he was doing.

And God chose to hold Adam responsible not only for his own sin but for the sin of his wife. Thus, “through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin” (Romans 5:12)

Check back over the next week for Parts 2 and 3, discussing the implications of Eve’s susceptibility to deception and the headship of man.


Forced into Church

Notes on Francis Chan’s
Forgotten God
Chapter 7: Supernatural Church

My dad posed an interesting question at dinner on Sunday. He’d been talking to a number of new members of our church who had not been to church since their teens, when they felt that their parents had forced them to go to church. “Did you ever feel like you HAD to go to church?”

Well, yes. I never felt that I had an option to just NOT go to church.

But that doesn’t mean that I begrudged the obligation.

I wanted to be there.

Church was where I worshiped God. Church was where I spent time with my friends. Church was where I had a JOB to do. It was just a part of life.

Sure, there were days when I wanted to sleep in or read a book–but on the whole, I wanted to be in church on Sunday mornings, and Wednesday nights, and for Bible study or small groups whenever they were.

I can’t really identify with those who felt forced to go to church.

I wonder what the difference was?

Was it because I was homeschooled and church was one of my only social outlets? Was it because I never knew any other life? Was it because I had jobs, tasks to accomplish at church (whether babysitting or running sound or overhead projection or teaching Sunday school or children’s studies)? Was it because my church was just so amazingly hip? (That one is doubtful, by the way.)

In part, it was probably a combination of all of the above. But I think the real inducement was that God chose to call me to Himself at a young age. In His grace, He set a fire in my heart for the church, His bride. I remember praying fervently on the playground as an eight-year old, asking God to save the surrounding neighborhood–Lincoln’s Airpark. I remember shutting myself in the unfinished bedroom in the basement with a boombox, singing praises to God. I remember eagerly volunteering to help out with Missionettes (a girl’s group) as a 7th grader–and stepping in to teach the kindergartners when the teacher had to quit unexpectedly.

Why did I never feel forced into church? Because God, in His great mercy, called me His own–and church was the gathering of His own.

Do I have any advice for parents to ensure that their kids never feel forced into church?

Do I have any advice for churches to make church feel less of a chore for kids and youth?

No.

Not really.

In truth, all your works are insignificant. It is only the Holy Spirit who can make a child, a teen fall desperately in love Christ. It is only the Holy Spirit who can instill in that youth a love for His church. It is only the Holy Spirit who can change lives.

As Francis Chan says in Forgotten God:

“…While I might be able to get people in the doors of a church or auditorium if I tell enough jokes or use enough visuals, the fact remains that I cannot convince people to be obsessed with Jesus. Perhaps I can talk people into praying a prayer, but I cannot talk anyone into falling in love with Jesus. I cannot make someone understand and accept the gift of grace. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. So by every measure that actually counts, I need the Holy Spirit. Desperately.”

Only the Holy Spirit can change hearts and lives. If the church is to be powerful and effective, if church is to be a pleasure rather than a chore, than the church–God’s people–need to be radically empowered by and obediently following after the Holy Spirit.

(See more notes on Forgotten God here.)


Observations from a Sunday morning

On Singing Men:

I love songs in which men lead out and women echo. Unfortunately, our church has had a dearth of musically inclined men, so we’ve had to make do with having the men sing with a female lead singer and then have the rest of the women echo. Not only does this not sound quite as nice as having a solely male lead, it also tends to confuse the guys.

In the last couple of years, we’ve added two men to our worship team. Neither are really comfortable with leading out in singing–but this week they did so anyway on one of those songs with a male lead and a female echo. Beautiful.


On me singing loudly:

I sing loudly. It’s just a matter of fact. I love to sing and I can’t seem to hear how loud I am. I’ve been told that I’m audible all around the sanctuary–but I’ve never paid much attention to it.

Today, I suddenly realized that I am indeed rather the loudest singer in the congregation. Except for maybe my dad. It was during one song in particular where I was just singing my heart out, when it was like a stopper had been released from my ears and I suddenly heard myself as the congregation might hear me. It sounded like me and my dad (we sit on opposite sides of the sanctuary–me in the front row on the middle of the right side, he on the fourth row at the far left side) were trying to out-sing one another.

Interesting. Not sure what I should do about that–or if I should do something about that. But it is interesting.


On the sermon:

LCF’s pastor had a total thyroidectomy a couple of weeks ago. He had nodules that sure looked like cancer. A needle biopsy was inconclusive. They wanted the thyroid out. He got the pathology report back at the beginning of this week. The nodules were completely benign. (Another member of our church had the same surgery the day after Pastor Jason–for the same reason. Her pathology report came back…negative too. Praise the Lord!)

Anyway, long story short, Pastor Jason’s voice is still recovering from his surgery, so we had a “guest” preacher–a man from our congregation. Brian shared powerfully about the sovereignty and goodness of God in the midst of suffering. He closed with Hebrews 12:1-3, particularly verses 2 and 3:

“…looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.”

It was a wonderful reminder to fix our eyes on Christ rather than on our circumstances, recognizing that God is sovereign over and works good through our circumstances.


On the guys who serve:

Looking at the bulletin today, I realized that one of either my two little brothers or my pseudo-brother Steve are the leaders in Children’s Church almost every week.

John and Steve lead at “Rock Solid”, our midweek kids ministry. John teaches a children’s Sunday School class. Timothy babysits for small groups every week. All three serve as ushers (taking up offering, doing greeting, opening up and locking down the church building). All three serve on the sound ministry.

Which means they pretty much make their rounds between three Sunday morning ministries and a handful of midweek ones. These young men are to be highly commended–but I also worry that 1) they will get burned out rather quickly and 2) this will cause mass disaster when my brothers leave for boot camp in the fall and spring.

It would do us well to recognize the great service these young men do for our body–and to come alongside them and learn how we can fill the holes they will leave in their wakes.

Thanks, guys.


On the Sustaining Grace of God:

In the Sunday School I’m in, we’re going through II Peter.

In my personal quiet times, I’m reading through the Bible following a plan from The Standard Publishing Company.

I was struck by a theme in this morning’s II Peter passage and a couple of days ago’s reading from the Psalms.

“For this they willfully forget: that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of water and in the water, by which the world that then existed perished, being flooded with water. But the heavens and the earth which are now preserved by the same word, are reserved for fire until the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men.”
II Peter 3:5-7

“You who laid the foundations of the earth…
You covered it with the deep as with a garment…
He sends the springs into the valleys…
He waters the hills from His upper chambers;
The earth is satisfied with the fruit of Your works.
He causes the grass to grow for the cattle,
And vegetation for the service of man…
You make darkness and it is night…
You open Your hand, they are filled with good.
You hide Your face, they are troubled;
You take away their breath,
they die and return to their dust.
You send forth Your Spirit, they are created;
And You renew the face of the earth.”
Psalm 104:5-6, 10, 13-14, 20, 28-30

The truth is that God is sovereign in creating, ordering, and sustaining all that is.

Even now, as I type these words, God is actively sustaining the activities of the universe. By His hand the rain falls to the ground, the stars shine, the planets continue their orbits. By His hand I draw these breaths, my sister works on her homework, and my roommate sleeps. By His hand babies are being born, sinners are being reborn, and saints are being welcomed into everlasting joy. By His hand an alcoholic stays alive to continue drinking, an atheist to write a book “disproving” God, a pornographer to produce pornography.

We all, regardless of anything that we have done, are recipients of the sustaining grace of God.

That truth should cause us to rejoice with exceeding joy and shake in absolute terror. His grace is abundant, but should He at any time withdraw it, the devastation would be total.

May I ever be thankful that God has poured out His full wrath on Christ Jesus, who stood in my place–so that only His sustaining grace remains for me.


Intimate Stillness

Notes on Francis Chan’s
Forgotten God
Chapter 5: A Real Relationship

“While Jesus didn’t have to deal with emails, voice mails, or texts, He certainly understood what it meant to have multitudes of people pursuing Him at once. At any given moment of the day, people were looking for Jesus. Because of the priority of His relationship with His Father, He found ways to escape. He took the time to focus and be quiet (Mark 1:35). He was willing to remove Himself from people’s reach in order to pray and commune with God the Father. Our lack of intimacy often is due to our refusal to unplug and shut off communication from all others so we can be alone with Him.
-Francis Chan, Forgotten God, page 109

Why might I not be experiencing intimacy with the Holy Spirit? Chan suggests that one reason might be the loudness of our lives.

It’s funny–the very night I first read this chapter (before I read it), I was settling into my bathwater, singing a song of worship to the Lord and picking up a book to read, when I experienced that little nudge in my soul. “Don’t read, Rebekah. Just spend some time with Me.”

I was sorely tempted to disobey. I’d been so busy that day. I hadn’t had any time for pleasure reading. Bath time was my time–to relax and to read a book.

But I reminded myself that I’d said I wanted the Spirit. And if I truly want the Spirit, I must be obedient when He speaks.

I set the book down and spent the next twenty minutes or so in prayer–just communing with God and enjoying His presence. It was wonderful.

How often, I wonder, does the Holy Spirit speak to me, urging me into relationship with Him? How often do I ignore or not even hear His still small voice, so consumed am I with my blogs and books and papers to write and grade? How often do I rush through our morning breakfast date (I spend time in the Word over breakfast every morning) because I want to get on with my day?

Jesus, for all His busyness and all the demands on His time, made time to be alone with God.

If I truly desire the Spirit of God to be active in my life, I must be willing to rearrange my schedule, to make time to be still with Him.

**Let me make clear–there is no way that you or I can make the Holy Spirit move in our lives. The truth is that if you are a child of God, your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. He dwells within you. But I believe that by our hardheartedness we can ignore the Holy Spirit–leading to a failure to experience His presence (even though He is present). Thus, the failure to experience the Holy Spirit is not the Holy Spirit’s failure to be present–but our failure to be sensitized to His presence. The disciplines of the Christian life, including that of stillness, can serve to sensitize our eyes and our hearts so that we can see and feel the Holy Spirit’s presence.**

(See more notes on Forgotten God here.)


An Addendum on “Unveiling Islam”

A friend recently brought an article about Ergun Caner, co-author of Unveiling Islam, to my attention. This article, published in Christianity Today, reports on a recent blog-flurry that accuses Ergun Caner of exaggerating his Muslim past. Among these potential exaggerations or untruths are the claims that Caner grew up in Turkey in a devout Muslim home, and trained as a jihadist to the age of 15. While the only of these claims made in Unveiling Islam is that Caner grew up in a devout Muslim home (in Ohio), the suggestion that Caner has exaggerated or falsified information regarding his Muslim upbringing is troubling.

As many of you know, I recently read Unveiling Islam and commented chapter by chapter here on bekahcubed. In light of this article, I have included the following addendum in each of my posts on Unveiling Islam:

Ergun Caner’s testimony as a converted Muslim has been challenged by several bloggers who claim that he has grossly exaggerated the extent of his Muslim upbringing. Readers of this book ought to be aware that the Caners may or may not have the experiential knowledge of Islam that they claim to have, and should therefore be careful to test the statements found in this book against other reliable sources.

I find this new information regarding Caner to be quite puzzling–since I felt that in Unveiling Islam the Caners treated Islam with a sympathy uncommon among fundamentalist right-wingers. (Classifying Ergun Caner as a fundamentalist right-winger does not seem out of place, considering that he is currently the president of Liberty University’s seminary.)

Why might Caner have felt a need to lie about his past? Certainly, he doesn’t make outrageous claims regarding Islam (or at least, not as outrageous as many claims made by those who fear Islam). I don’t see any reason for such behavior.

Nevertheless, this certainly calls Caner’s testimony as a believer and credibility as a source of information about Islam into question.

As readers, we should always be discerning, testing what we read against Scripture and against other sources to determine whether such things are true. Even when reading (or listening to) “Christian” sources, we should keep our filters on, carefully testing all things against the Word of God.

Let this be a call to us all to be wise and discerning as we read, listen, and live in a world where things are not always as they seem.


Fear of Wrong Motives

Notes on Francis Chan’s
Forgotten God
Chapter 4: Why Do You Want Him?

Chan asks why I want the Holy Spirit. “What is your motivation?” he queries.

I search my brain and come up with this answer: “Because my vision is to glorify God by growing in daily relationship with Him, being conformed to the image of Christ; by growing in relationship with others, taking time to invest in their lives; and by growing as an individual, always learning and always practicing what I’ve learned.”

My life vision flows glibly from my lips and my pen. This is what I only pray that someday my life will exemplify. God’s glorification. Relationship with Christ. Relationship with others. Personal growth.

I fear, though, that this answer is too pat, too religious, too straight out of a Stephen Covey exercise. Surely, I have ulterior motives for desiring the Holy Spirit.

I set down the book for a few days. I pick it up again and reread Chapter 3.

What are my motives? I ask myself, digging for hidden selfish motives. “Because I want His kingdom to come and His will to be done.”

“Church answer.” My brain throws back its rapid-fire retort.

I try again. “I want the Spirit because…”

I’m at a loss. “I want the Spirit because more than anything, I want my life to be a testimony of Christ. I want the Spirit because I dream of being transformed into the image of Christ. I want the Spirit because God has put in my heart a dream for the church, His bride, walking in mercy and in truth. I want the Spirit because I know that it is He and He alone who can cause my life to reflect Christ, who can build the church, and who can draw the lost unto Himself. And if my life fails to reflect Christ, to build the church, and to draw the lost to saving grace, then all my achievements are worthless. I want the Spirit because I know that, apart from Him, I will have wasted my life.”

Chan is right–there are many wrong motives for seeking the Spirit. He names attention, miracle hunting, and desire for personal control. But these are not what motivates me at this point in my life. I need not be ashamed that, in God’s mercy, He has caused me to desire the Spirit for the right reason.

I need not spend hours trying to find a false motive. Should one arise, God will reveal that. For now, I can rejoice that God has granted me this pure desire–and I can seek the Spirit’s increased activity unbound by fear of wrong motives.

(See more notes on Forgotten God here.)