A Silent Cry

Sometimes I can’t articulate the
things within my heart
I can’t tell you what
I’m thinking
I can’t tell you what
I’m feeling
I’m not sure what
I want
Except that the ache
grows on
I have wasted my words
Trying to pray
as if God needed my words
to know my heart
Today, I cannot speak
I can only turn
my heart towards Him
A silent cry

From the valley

Would I give up the peaks
if in doing so,
I could save myself the valleys?
Would I surrender the heights
to never experience the depths?
Never feel sublime pleasure
so that I might never mourn its loss?

Would I walk forever in twilight
so as to never experience
the burning light of midday
or the anguished dark of night?

Would I give up joy
for a chance to not feel grief?

To live life without the superlative,
no extremes of highs or lows
The thought tempts my mind
when I sit near the bottom

But I have experienced the even
the world without feeling
I have tasted of the stupor
that allows neither hot nor cold

My choice instead shall be
to follow my Savior
where e’re He leads

whether beside the still waters
or to the valley of the shadow of death

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away
I shall bless His name

Only Free

He told me once that His grace was sufficient for me
I brushed Him off, said I wanted to be free
He told me again that He was all I’d ever need
I pushed Him away–“I just want to be me.”

On my own, free
Why am I dying?
On my own, just me
Why am I breaking?

Broken, incomplete
Needy, bound
when He
is all I need

Only complete
When I’m held in His hands
Only free
When I’m bound by His arms
Only found
When I’m lost in Him

It ends at Your feet

A million things to do
My heart races–
And stops
My brain is filled
With a thousand questions
Too many processes–
Shut down.
Running all the time
Up against a wall
Weights on my back–
I collapse.
It ends at Your feet
On my knees
Not a thought in my head
Not a beat in my heart
No strength to move
It ends at Your feet
And You’re more than enough