Sometimes I can’t articulate the
things within my heart
I can’t tell you what
I’m thinking
I can’t tell you what
I’m feeling
I’m not sure what
I want
Except that the ache
grows on
I have wasted my words
Trying to pray
as if God needed my words
to know my heart
Today, I cannot speak
I can only turn
my heart towards Him
A silent cry
“Please”
Poetry
Today (in rhyme and meter, of a sort)
The snow on my head
melts
and runs to my eyelid
It dissolves
my mascara
which drips into my eye
I cry
Once upon a time,
while snow came down
in a flurry,
a girl went out
in a hurry.
The ground was slick
and her glasses
were blurry.
Twice, she slipped.
But not to worry–
She fell into
a soft mud slurry.
From the valley
Would I give up the peaks
if in doing so,
I could save myself the valleys?
Would I surrender the heights
to never experience the depths?
Never feel sublime pleasure
so that I might never mourn its loss?
Would I walk forever in twilight
so as to never experience
the burning light of midday
or the anguished dark of night?
Would I give up joy
for a chance to not feel grief?
To live life without the superlative,
no extremes of highs or lows
The thought tempts my mind
when I sit near the bottom
But I have experienced the even
the world without feeling
I have tasted of the stupor
that allows neither hot nor cold
My choice instead shall be
to follow my Savior
where e’re He leads
whether beside the still waters
or to the valley of the shadow of death
The Lord gives and the Lord takes away
I shall bless His name
Grandpa, Grandma, Me
Grandpa’s in
the hospital
No one knows what’s wrong
I’m helpless
Waiting
for the next
e-mailed news
Tears flood my eyes
I remember
Helpless before she died
I wished I could have done something
I wish I could do something now
Doing, that’s the easy part
Trusting
That’s what’s hard
Only Free
He told me once that His grace was sufficient for me
I brushed Him off, said I wanted to be free
He told me again that He was all I’d ever need
I pushed Him away–“I just want to be me.”
On my own, free
Why am I dying?
On my own, just me
Why am I breaking?
Broken, incomplete
Needy, bound
Me-insufficient
when He
is all I need
Only complete
When I’m held in His hands
Only free
When I’m bound by His arms
Only found
When I’m lost in Him
It ends at Your feet
A million things to do
My heart races–
And stops
My brain is filled
With a thousand questions
Too many processes–
Shut down.
Running all the time
Up against a wall
Weights on my back–
I collapse.
It ends at Your feet
On my knees
Not a thought in my head
Not a beat in my heart
No strength to move
It ends at Your feet
And You’re more than enough