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I came perilously close to losing my scholarships this semester. Gradewise, there was no way I wasn’t supposed to get a C- in Physiology, requiring me to take it again and putting my GPA at something like 3.4978. I was bracing myself for the worst, expecting to lose my scholarship–have to work my way through school, reevaluate how to handle things. I was kicking myself for being so cocky at the beginning of the semester–“Sure it’s going to be tough taking Chemistry, Anatomy, and Physiology all in the same semester. But I can handle it.” Just barely.

So when I looked at my grades and discovered that I’d gotten a C in Physiology instead of a C-, I felt like the world had been handed me on a platter. I hadn’t lost my scholarships. I would have a chance
to redeem myself. That vein of thought continued for a while–I started to contemplate the concept of redemption.

I don’t think I’ve really valued redemption in my life as much as I should. I’ve known Christ since I was four years old. I’ve been a generally good kid. I’ve never done anything illegal or committed any
of those uncomfortably visible moral errors. I’ve always had good grades, despite having substandard study habits. I’ve always had a nice little life–why should I need redemption?

Of course, this thought is incorrect. I do need redemption–desperately. But I saw that in a new way when I saw that I had received a C in that class. The first words out of my mouth were, “Awesome, now I have a chance to redeem myself.” You see, I didn’t deserve a C in that class–by my own cockiness and lack of devotion to studying, I deserved to lose my scholarship. But, by the grace of God, I didn’t get what I deserved. I received better. Now, I have a chance to redeem myself–to prove that I have a right to the scholarship I received.

Just like I received my scholarships on the basis of merit that I didn’t necessarily have–unless being born “smart” counts as merit–any life that I have received is granted to me apart from my own merit. God
granted me life, not because I deserved it in any way. He just chose to give it to me. But I did not treat that life with respect. I used it for sin and sold my life in slavery to sin; just like I came within an
inch of losing my scholarship because of my own lack of dedication to my studies.

The difference between my scholarships and my life overall rests in this–I have received grace so that I might redeem myself in regard to my studies; I have received grace despite having no ability to redeem myself in regard to slavery to sin. I can learn to study and devote more time to studying to improve my grades–I can’t
do anything to solve my sin problem.

But the amazing thing about God is that what I was powerless to do, Christ did. “For when we were still without strength, in due time, Christ died for the ungodly.” (Romans 5:6) I was completely powerless to redeem myself from sin–but Christ in His mercy took on flesh to become my kinsman redeemer. “But when the fullness of the
time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.” (Galatians 4:4-5)

Week in the Word was incredible. The time we spent in Ruth only served to confirm this concept of redemption. The story of Ruth models redemption in so many ways–outlining for us the role of a kinsman-redeemer. Perhaps the first qualification for a kinsman-redeemer is that the person be a kinsman. Boaz was Ruth’s kinsman
through his familial relationship with Elimelech (Ruth’s father in law). Christ became our kinsman by taking on human flesh. As Boaz agreed to redeem Ruth when she requested that he spread the corner of his garment over her, Christ chooses to redeem us when we come to Him for redemption. Just as the redemption of Ruth was part of the grand story of God’s agenda to bring glory to Himself by redeeming a people, our redemption is also part of the grander story. We are redeemed to bear fruit–“You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain.” (John 15:16)

Redemption is a grand story that shows the lovingkindness of our Saviour. We were incapable of redeeming ourselves from the slavery into which we sold ourselves. So, Christ in His mercy took on flesh to become our kinsman. As our kinsman, He redeemed us. Now as our husband, He bears fruit in us–fruit that ultimately leads back to the glorification of God and the advancement of His program to redeem for Himself people from every nation.

“Then he who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. And I was afraid, and
went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.’ But his lord answered and said to him, ‘You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest. Therefore take the talent from him, and give it to him who has ten talents.” (Matthew 25:24-28)

“And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!’ Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your
oil for our lamps are going out.’ But the wise answered, saying, “No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but rather go to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ And while they went to buy,
the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.” (Matthew 25:6-10)

Different stewards–one was the keeper of a talent,the others keepers of the lamp. Two different scenarios–one out of fear mishandled his talent, the others out of laziness mishandled their oil. But the result is the same. When the master returned to take his due–in the case of talents, the interest; in the case of the virgins, his bride–When the master returned, the foolish stewards were left without. They had been poor stewards of what they were given and they would bear the punishment.

I don’t think I really recognized what stewardship meant until it bit me in the face a couple of days ago. Stewardship means that what I have been given, I have been given in trust. I have a responsibility to use it in the way for which it was given me. When I am given a scholarship to go to school, I have a responsibility to use that money to pay for school. When I am given charge over a ministry, I have a responsibility to lead that ministry in the best way possible. When I am elected to a position, I have a responsibility to fulfill the promises I made. Every privilege is a trust. And all too often, I have broken that trust.

I am ashamed, I am overwhelmed. I have broken my promises, misused the gifts I have received, taken advantage of privileges. I have said that I was rich–I am intelligent, I have enough money, I can do it on my own. So proud of myself, so consumed by my own self worth, I sat back and did nothing. And I did not see that I am “wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked.” (Revelation 3:17)

But there is hope for me, however pitiful I may be. Revelation 3 continues: “I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see.” I must come to see myself
as worthless, pitiful, broken, and blind. And instead of clinging to self for my worth, I must cling to Christ–recognizing that He is the only one who can clothe my nakedness, open my eyes, give me anything worth having.

And while the virgins of Matthew 25 were shut out, Revelation 3 offers another fate: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.” By His grace and that alone, I am welcomed to the wedding feast. And unlike the steward of Matthew 25 who was cast into the lake of everlasting fire,
Christ offers another eternity: “To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My father on His throne.”