I wish you could videotape dreams

Every so often, I see a really good movie–one that I want to watch over and over and over again. Unfortunately, there’s no way for me to watch it over again, because it’s a dream. If only there were a way to video tape dreams so that you could replay them. That’d be just amazing.

The first time I remember having a movie-dream was sometime last year. It was the most spectacular movie. The opening scene was this teenage boy and his dad fishing in a river when the boy suddenly sees a woman who looks like his mother going over some rapids. This is significant because he’s been told that his mother has been dead for years. Seeing the mother in the river sparks off a huge quest to find her. Unfortunately, as exciting as the plot was, I can’t remember how it ends. The mother must have been in some kind of witness protection program, or maybe she was a spy or something. The problem is, I just can’t remember.

Last night I had another great movie-dream. I tried to write as much as I could down as soon as I awoke, but it faded more quickly than I could write. It was about a woman living in Mexico who goes to visit her next door neighbor and finds herself in the midst of a huge family drama. The bottom line is that a baby girl’s mother has been killed (or taken hostage–I don’t remember) and the baby’s life is in danger as well. The woman and the next door neighbor’s son make a break for the border to get back into the US, where presumably, the person who’s trying to get the baby can’t get to them. They go to live with a couple in the woman’s extended family, but the extended family gets really suspicious about the whole thing and basically holds the couple and the baby hostage too. It was really a great dream–an incredible movie. The movie had a lot of tension, not just because of the obvious plot tension (kidnapping, murder, running away, etc.) but because the woman and the next door neighbor’s son didn’t know each other before they went running off to the US trying to get the baby away from whoever the guy was that wanted her. So there’s all sorts of relational tension too. The problem is that all the connecting factors are lost in my mind–which makes the movie seem completely ridiculous in the retelling. But really–this was a great movie. It was one that I forced myself back to sleep so that I could finish it–it was that good.

Man, if only I had a video recorder that could record dreams!!


You wouldn’t believe me if I told you

Those of us who grew up in the internet age also grew up hearing warnings against the use of Wikipedia as a reference source. Most of us routinely ignored this advice from our high school teachers–choosing instead to use it surreptitiously, not citing our source or using it to find other sources of the same information.

As we entered college, we heard the same warnings. We still used Wiki–just not for formal purposes. Instead, we used it to look up stuff we read about in the newspaper or bands or expressions or whatever. Wiki is pretty much irresistible–despite how much teachers complain about it.

So guess who suggested the use of Wikipedia today?

I doubt you’ll guess. My graduate Research Methods professor suggested using Wikipedia as a source for a definition of energy drinks. Her sentence was something like “You’ll need to come up with a good definition of “energy drink”. It shouldn’t be hard to come up with–you could check the American Marketing Association or Wikipedia.”

I about fell out of my chair. Did she really just say Wikipedia? Yes, she did. Apparently, once you’ve reached a certain level in your academic career, Wikipedia becomes an acceptable source of information.

I can’t say I mind.

Disclaimer: Dr. Driskoll was suggesting that we use the Wikipedia definition in the survey we are developing to ask college students about their energy drink consumption. She was not suggesting that we use Wikipedia as a source for a definitive explanation of say, the Hygiene Hypothesis.


Snap Decision

I woke up this morning to a frantic phone call from Harper Dining Service’s Secretary. Turns out my fellowship is dependent on my being solely a student. I can’t get the fellowship and work at the same time. Which means I had a decision to make.

My decision, ultimately, was $2000 for free versus $4500 that I have to work 26 hours a week for. I worked up the math quickly in my head, and decided to go with work. Why?

Good question. I didn’t have much time to work it–this morning is Thursday, the last day of a pay period. I needed to decide today. So I didn’t have that much time to work out all the details.

But the main thoughts going through my head were as follows: I’m taking out fifteen thousand in loans for this year. I need all the money I can get to keep from taking out more. I need new glasses, which I’m going to get through the eye insurance my work pays for. I have a staff parking permit that I’d have to give up if I’m no longer staff. I enjoy my work–and I’ve given my word that I’m working this semester. Janet has been wonderful, working with me so far as benefits and Mexico and everything else is concerned. I can do my part by keeping my word this semester. I’m the Saturday manager–it’d be very difficult to fill that role at the last minutes–especially as I’m gearing up for Food Safety training this weekend. Marilyn generally relies on me as a Friday closer.

Yeah, it’d be nice to be just a student–to live a luxurious life of a couple of classes and a lot of free time. And I could probably swing it. But I have to think beyond the here and now. I have to think of how I’m currently enslaved to the federal government via student debt. I have to think of my testimony within my workplace. It’s a snap decision, but I’m glad that I chose the way I did.


Not in Kansas anymore

I don’t recall the transition from homeschool to high school as being particularly hard. Neither do I remember the transition from high school to college as being difficult. Different, sure. Difficult, not so much. I knew all about the differences; I expected the differences; I dealt with the differences.

Undergrad to grad school, though? The distinctions were never that well determined in my mind. I guess I thought grad school would be like undergrad work–only more advanced. After all, I’m at the same school, in the same department, in the same building even. I’m taking classes with many of the same professors, spending time with many of the same classmates. How different can it really be?

Shows how much I knew.

I received an e-mail from my seminar instructor a week before classes started. She was letting all her students know what our seminar theme would be so we could start working on seminar. Start working on seminar? You mean, before classes start? Before I even know what exactly seminar means? Yes siree. That’s what it means.

Another professor gives us an assignment to interview three faculty members about their research. She kindly gives us a WHOLE WEEK to complete these interviews–since we have a three day weekend and some faculty leave for the weekend. This way the University will be open for three days during which we can do our interviews.

My adviser keeps talking about me doing a project. Unfortunately, she hasn’t said much about what that looks like. She’s mentioned several possibilities. I’m interested in two of them–either studying food knowledge or working on some kind of online modules for her Scientific Aspects of Food and Nutrition class. But what does she want me to do? And when? She hasn’t shared that part yet.

We interns had a meeting before classes started. I learned that I would be doing a bit more than just classwork this semester. For example, we are required to finish four WIC modules before we begin rotations in January. That shouldn’t be too hard, right? But the one module Dr. K printed off for us is a good fifty pages long.

I am a planner, an analyst, a programmer. I like to assess the situation, develop a workable plan for dealing with it, and implement my plan. Ambiguity is not something I’m very comfortable with. But, like it or not, grad school involves a degree of ambiguity. I’m going to have to define my own program, my own role as a student. I’m going to have to deal with the unexpected.

I’m going to have to learn to keep going–even when I chose the wrong textbooks to start reading in advance and the wrong projects to get a head start on. I’m going to have to learn to calm down my expectations elsewhere when I am suddenly presented with a four hour module that needs to be done online–this week. I’m going to have to relax, take things as they come, trust God.

Trust God. That’s ultimately what it comes to. When life isn’t what I expected. When I’m a twenty-three year old single woman working in food service and pursuing a master’s degree. When I’m hungry and crabby because I haven’t been able to eat anything but BRATTY (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast, tea, and yogurt) since I came back from Mexico (without getting sick, that is). When life erodes my facade of control, I must learn to trust God.

Lord, I’m in over my head and my flailing is only making me sink more quickly. Help me. I need you. Help me learn to trust You.


Hit the ground running

I’m home from Mexico, but I don’t have time for culture shock of any type. The pace has picked up and I’ve been running since I arrived. Only 10 hours after I returned to Lincoln (in the dead of the night), I had my first meeting. It has been meeting, work, errands, and business e-mails ever since.

Perhaps the whole thing might not have been so bad–except that I arrived home to find myself without internet access. The addition my parents are building onto their house had necessitated the removal of the directional antenna that was supplying wireless internet access to my home. So, a month’s worth of business that had been undone had to remain undone. I turned out not too much worse for the wear–I only missed the first hour and a half of a mandatory internship meeting because I was relying on memory instead of the e-mail to tell me what time it started at. Oops! But now that I have internet again (Thank you Dad!), I have been franticly catching up. E-mail Northern Illinois University to tell them I won’t be enrolling. (They sent me my acceptance letter on July 29–after I’d already left for Mexico. I haven’t had any opportunity to reply before now.) E-mail my classmate to thank her for going through the agenda of the missed meeting with me. E-mail some photos back to Mexico. Pay my student loans on-line (except that they won’t let me pay my loan online because I am entering my deferment period tomorrow, 3 days before the payment is due.) With that done, I can focus on catching up on my favorite blogs–and updating my own.

Of course, that’s assuming that I will have time at my disposal. Today I skipped the “Big Red Welcome Street Fair” to do some online stuff, but I can’t do too much skipping in the upcoming week. Tomorrow, I begin my first day of classes as a graduate student–and my first day of work as a opening servery person. I’m not too worried about the classes (except for seminar) in this first week. Work tomorrow is a whole ‘nother matter. First of all, I’ve never opened servery before–and I understand it’s a pretty rushed job. Second, I just got home from Mexico and while I haven’t had to deal with jetlag, my bio-clock is definitely a bit off–which makes a 6:30 am position a little scary. Lord, give grace.

WARNING: GRAPHIC (but not pornographic) CONTENT AHEAD. FEEL FREE TO SKIP THE NEXT PARAGRAPH.

All the running and busyness probably wouldn’t be so bad, except that my body chose re-entry into the United States as a chance to reassert itself. It handled the chiles and lard of Mexico just fine, but almost the minute we crossed the border at the beginning of this week, my GI system rebelled. I don’t know if I had some food poisoning a couple of days before we left, or if the water that I rinsed my toothbrush under once we got into the states had something in it, or what–but I am definitely adjusting. My stomach starts churning, and I find myself praying that it’ll rest at least ’til the meeting’s over or my shopping’s done. So, if you want to pray for my trip–pray that traveling mercies will extend beyond the trip and that I’ll shake whatever this is quickly.

END GRAPHIC CONTENT.

I’ve heard talk of culture shock after even just a week in another nation, but I haven’t really experienced it after a month. The typical things I hear–shock at America’s excesses, anger at American’s insensitivity, etc–haven’t really affected me. I saw poverty, sure. I saw a lot of differences. But I don’t feel shock or upset over them. I find that I can easily transition from one world to another. In Mexico, I had enough clothing for a week. Here in America, I have enough clothing for a semester. In Mexico, I had access to a television. In Lincoln, I have no access to TV (and am never bothered by it.) I just ignored the TV as much as possible in Mexico. Here, I have makeup. I didn’t bring any with me to Mexico. There, I woke up when the sun or the dogs or the roosters woke me up. Here, my computer wakes me up playing worship music. There, I had only one task, without a rigid schedule–teach Rebekah. Here, I have a hundred tasks, all with strict timetables. Either one works. Yes, there’s the physical adjustment. The body has to deal with different eating, sleeping, working schedules. But psychologically? I don’t feel culture shock. Either place and situation works fine for me.

Maybe I’ve been blessed with the ability to be content in any culture. Maybe I’m perfectly suited to short-term missions. Maybe I was born to be a world traveler. Or maybe I haven’t slowed down long enough for culture shock to hit.


You Asked

You asked for pictures of what I’ve been eating. And I’m pleased to oblige. Yesterday, for breakfast, I enjoyed this:

Oatmeal with raisins

So that probably wasn’t what you were thinking of when you asked for pictures. But I did indeed have oatmeal with milk and raisins for breakfast yesterday. Caroline heard that I enjoyed oatmeal, so she served some up. What a blessing!

Besides that, I’ve been eating high off the hog–a friend in Laredo is about ready to travel deep into Mexico for language school, so she emptied her freezer and gave it to us. Which means we’ve been eating steak and hamburgers and shrimp–not to mention the Denny’s breakfast sausage that we’re absolutely rolling in. Biscuits and gravy, omelets with sausage, fried eggs and sausage. You name it, we’ve enjoyed it.

The more “traditional” Mexican foods have included enchiladas and tacos. I’ve also had some tunis, a Mexican fruit somewhat similar to a pomegranate–except that it comes from a cactus. I do have pictures of these meals–but it’ll take more work than I want to take to find them. So, I’m sorry, you’ll just have to look at oatmeal!


Reflections on restrooms in Mexico

You’ve probably heard that you need to take toilet paper with you when you use a restroom in Mexico. Maybe you’ve even heard that you need to pay to use a “public” restoom. But I’ll bet no one warned you that toilets might not have seats.

I spent a considerable amount of time holding squats over seatless toilets during the first few days in Mexico. I peed, wiped, and tried to remember to throw away my t.p. in the trash instead of the toilet–all while keeping my bottom from touching the bare rim of the toilet bowl.

Thankfully, the James’ house has toilet seats and I can relax when using the rest room here. I empty my bladder before venturing out–and pray that I can hold it until I return.

Perhaps 2 pesos is not so great a price to pay for a decent (although sometimes excruciating) butt workout. But I am cheap–and that workout is less than appealing–so I’ll pas-I mean, hold it.


!Feliz Cumpleanos a Micheal!

Yesterday was Micheal’s 21st birthday. He said he didn’t want a party, but Caroline knew better. So, she planned a surprise birthday party for him. She slaved in the kitchen all day, rolling fresh flour tortillas and making enchilada fillings.

Caroline rolling tortillas

The guests–several families–arrived sometime before 6 and enjoyed horseshoes and conversation in the yard and living room. Around 7 pm, we began the process of making the enchiladas. Caroline was pretty warm by then, so Jim, Rebekah, and I took over. Rebekah dipped the fresh tortillas in the enchilada sauce made of chili powder, garlic powder, salt, and water–then quickly warmed them in hot oil. Then Jim and I filled them with meat, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and lettuce–and rolled them up. Rebekah got tired of dipping and frying halfway through, so I switched over to the stove.

Rebekah J. dipping tortillas
Jim rolling enchiladas

Once we had prepared a platter-full, we began serving. Pastor Pepe prayed for the meal and the party began eating. Jim and I continued dipping, frying, and rolling until the meat was gone–then we continued until the cheese was gone. Then we sat down to eat ourselves.

Rebekah M. dipping tortillas

We enjoyed good conversation over the meal, and then Caroline got out the guitar. Pastor Pepe led the group in singing a birthday song–and then in (our) traditional (American) Happy Birthday song (except in Spanish!) After congratulating Michael, the party left–and the second party began.

Pastor Pepe on the guitar

Elizabeth and Luis took the van over to the rehabilitation center to pick up some guys to celebrate with Michael. Four guys came over and they and Michael enjoyed hanging out and eating chocolate cake with vanilla pudding on top.

Jim brought out his fossil and arrowhead collection and the two of us looked through them while the younger guys talked. It was a pretty fun (and full) evening.

people around the table

Michael is sitting at the head of the table


Made it!

Yesterday (a list)

  • Left my cell phone on Mom’s dryer
  • Plane was late (I was afraid I missed it.)
  • Had to gate check my bag–not so much reading material left.
  • Talk with my seatmate–an older gentleman with four kids around my age.
  • Run to make my connection–I think Houston’s terminal B is bigger than Lincoln’s airport.
  • Chat the entire flight with my flight attendant seatmate.
  • Tour Lowe’s–and wait in line twenty minutes before checking out.
  • Meet the family, say hello, settle in a bit.
  • Eat dinner and watch the hurricane come in.

Oh, did I not mention the hurricane? Dolly? Yeah, highly overrated. We have a gentle, slow rain and a bit of wind; but it’s nothing really. Nothing to write home about at least. The only thing notable about it is that we’re sticking around Stepping Stones for a while.

Rebekah and I started reading Mary Poppins this morning–definitely not the book I anticipated starting on. But Jim is partway into Prince Caspian, and Elizabeth is partway into Magician’s Nephew–and since they’re both in the same volume, it would be kind of difficult for Rebekah and I to start in on The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

I can tell it’s going to be good though. Rebekah and I get along well, and God is always faithful. I’m interested to see what our days will look like once we get into Juamave. I’m guessing it won’t be quite the lazy crazy of Laredo.