Thankfulness

Is anyone else sick and tired of hearing me talk about “state”?

Heaven knows I’m tired of talking about state.

But, in God’s great mercy, they are gone.

This first survey of the year is done.

This week I’m thankful…

…for state’s Fridays off
Yes, state takes Fridays off. Every Friday off. Do I mind? Sometimes. When I need a day to make sure I don’t get too terribly behind in my other buildings? Not at all.

…for a great play to see on Friday Night
Joshua performed the part of the guard in The Lincoln Community Playhouse’s “Twelve Angry Men.” It was a great show, very well-performed. If you’re in or around Lincoln, I recommend getting tickets–they’re playing again this weekend.

…for time with my brother(s)
I had a great time shopping with Tim (brother) and Steve (almost brother) this weekend–and taking them to The Egg and I to thank them for helping me pick out a tv.

…for kids paying attention
My Sunday School class has an on-again-off-again attention span. What with how tired I was this week, I was immensely grateful that this was one of their “on” weeks.

…for lunch with friends after church
Is it ridiculous to say that I’m people-starved when I only had four days out of town last week? Nevertheless, I felt like I hadn’t seen my peeps for forEVER. So I’m thankful for a great time after church with Anna, Ruth, Beth, Jon, and Kathy. (And appreciative for their humoring me with a game of Skip-Bo.)

…for a razor blade
Let’s just say that I spent some quantity time with a razor blade–leaving me with little time or quality for sleep that night. But trying to do the job without a razor blade? I can’t even imagine.

…for abundant mercies on the road
I probably should have gotten a hotel for an extra night, but I didn’t. I fell asleep on my drive home. No persons or objects were harmed. I am overwhelmingly thankful.

…for a day of catch up
I’m working from home today, allowing me to catch up on some vital at-home activities (can anyone say, “Thank you, Lord, for clean underwear?)

The other catch up isn’t quite so easy–catching up on work, sleep, housework, homework (for my systematic theology class), and relationships.

But at least state is finally done.

…that 2000 years ago, Jesus shouted “Done” and died
His “done” like my state “done” didn’t mean there wasn’t still more to come. But it was the down payment on the house, the signing of closing papers, the transfer of the deed. Jesus’ “done” is what gives me the strength to keep going.

Last Thursday, the long awaited state-surveyors arrived.

I was thrilled that they left at a decent hour, allowing me (some) time to get to Lincoln in time for Gracie’s show choir concert. I made it by the middle of the first song (although I did have to break out the inhaler to get my breathing under control after my mad sprint up the school hill.)

This week has been a rather odd one, what with staying at a hotel in Grand Island and having state there every day.

This week I’m thankful…

…that I made it to Grace’s concert
Gracie did a fantastic job with her solo and looked wonderful in her glittery duds.

…that state takes MLK Jr. Day off
Their day off meant I got to spend Monday in one of my other facilities (the one I’m usually in three days a week), making sure I don’t get too far behind there.

…for a celebration of Hazel’s life (and a veritable old church reunion.)
Hazel was a special lady who touched many lives. I was proud to stand with so many old friends and celebrate her exodus into glory.

…for state leaving at a decent hour every single day
I’m used to staying in the facility from a half hour before breakfast is served to a half hour after supper is served. These surveyors have taken off by five every evening.

…for some productive trouble-shooting during the long wait that can be state
A dietitian’s work during state survey comes in fits and spurts. We’re crazy busy in the lead up to meal service and directly after service–and don’t necessarily have much to do at all during the in-between times. Myself and my consultant dietitian (with our dietary manager’s input, of course) were able to come up with what we think is a good plan for long-term staffing.

…for residents that make me smile
Some residents can be definite characters, but I love them. I love the happy announcements of some: “Rebekah, I lost weight this week!” or “I followed that advice you gave me and cut out snacking and put LOTS of vegetables on my Subway sandwich–and I think it’s working!” I love the compliments of others: “You do a good job” or “That bean soup was excellent” or even “Thanks for switching that snack for me.” My favorite is the one I received during lunch service, though: “I hope state sticks around for a long time, ’cause I like having you around.” I appreciate the sentiment, although I can’t help vigorously hoping the opposite.

…for finally figuring out how to turn on the heat in my hotel room
The unit had a little tester button thing on its power cord (like you see on a hairdryer). Once I figured out that that had been tripped, I got heat immediately. Unfortunately, my room reached 60 degrees before I figured it out (on morning #2 of my stay). Now, though, I’m nice and toasty.

…for being able to go HOME after state leaves today
It’s been interesting making my home in a hotel this week, but I’m still a real homebody at heart. I’m eager to be home in my own bed, with my books all about me, my fridge stocked full, and my craft supplies ready for whenever a yen hits.

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you feel just a bit off?

Like a flag with only one corner attached to the halyard, leaving the rest to be twisted and tortured by every breath of wind.

It’s disconcerting on calm days, terrifying when the icy blasts of winter decide to let loose at last.

That’s why I’m thankful for a securely anchored pole.

This week I’m thankful…

…that God is omniscient
He sees everything coming–and is there before it arrives to usher it into the proper place.

…that God is omnipotent
He is strong enough to bear my every weakness.

…that God is omnipresent
He is there wherever I go.

…that God is loving
He desires my best–and my best is conforming me into the image of His Son.

…that God disciplines those He loves
He is willing to do whatever is necessary, regardless of the pain, to make me like Him.

…that God does not break a bruised reed
Because some days I feel like one.

Some people just love new things. They want a new car, a new house, new clothes. Something that’s never been used before, worn before, lived in before.

I am not that sort of person.

I love things with a past, with stories to tell, with lives already lived.

But that’s not to say that I don’t appreciate a few new things.

This week I’m thankful…

…for a new year with a chance for a sort of a fresh start

…that God’s mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23)

…for a new tripod with which to take pictures (of myself–I’m so vain!)

…that I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17)

…for a first Christmas with my new niece (Yes, I know she’s not so new anymore, but she’s new enough, right?)

…that God is making all things new (Revelation 21:5)

I love the old, it’s true; but I am so thankful that God is in the business of making all things new.

I’ve spent the last couple of months anticipating the arrival of state surveyors at one of my facilities.

Every plan I made was “pending state”.

Because when state arrives, every other plan goes out the window. I’ll be in that facility from before breakfast is served to after supper is served. If the facility being surveyed is in another town, I likely won’t be home to sleep in my bed, get on my computer, or spend time with my friends. State puts everything else on hold.

But state has delayed interminably in coming (today marks a day past due), and I’m spent with the anxiety and dread of anticipating a state survey.

Thankfully, I still have a bit of energy left to anticipate a much more exciting event!

This week I’m thankful…

…that God is sovereign over the actions of state surveyors, including when they do and do not come

…that MY LITTLE BROTHER IS COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS! (Even if he was a stinker–or the Marine Corps was a stinker–and didn’t let us know until last night.)

…that all the siblings will be together for Christmas. It’ll be the first time all the siblings have been together for anything since September 2010.

…that my little brother’s (newly acquired) girlfriend will also be in town. We’ve known Kaytee for a couple of years now–but they started dating while they were in the Marines, so we’ve never seen them as a “couple”.

…that the Little Miss is starting to scoot–and I get to see her do so this weekend.

…that Jesus Christ Came…and is coming again. The wait for state has made me think of other “unexpected” but “expected” waits–things we know are coming but don’t know exactly when. The birth of a baby qualifies as one. The second coming of Christ as another.

I’m thankful that unlike the dread I associate with a state visit, the coming of Christ (both times) affords nothing but joy for me.

Because the baby who came over 2,000 years ago is the Redeemer who paid my ransom. The King who is yet to come is my Betrothed–and He returns to make the church His Bride.

I have many irrational fears in life that are unlikely to come true (can anyone say being hung by my bellybutton?)–but I have other fears that I never realize until they come true and I panic.

Losing a notebook is one of those sorts of fears.

It happens every time I lose a notebook. My breathing becomes shallow, my heart starts racing, my blood pressure rises. I play over the contents of the notebook a hundred times, run through a thousand ideas of what might have happened that it’s lost.

This week I’m thankful…

…for the shoe rack I got at Goodwill
I’ve wanted one of these for quite a while, but everything I looked at was either flimsy or expensive. I briefly toyed with making my own out of PVC pipe (from an idea on Pinterest)–but I discovered that 6″ diameter PVC pipe isn’t cheap, so I finally caved and added a shoe rack to my Christmas list. Then, this week, I found a sturdy rack for only $3 at Goodwill. Thank you, Lord!

…for the fabric I got at Goodwill (for a steal)
I know I already have too much fabric, but it has become somewhat of an obsession for me. And the Goodwill’s always have such fabulous fabric, at such a great price ($0.50 per yard). But this was an even better deal than normal (or is it wrong to be thankful that the salesgirl guessed at yardage instead of measuring and vastly underestimated the quantity?) Thank you, Lord, for beautiful wools and cottons and double knits (because I always pick up some of that when I’m there!)

…for the Lemony Snickett books that I got at Goodwill
I’ve enjoyed A Series of Unfortunate Events since it first came out, reading it with my not-into-reading, then-still-a-little-boy brother (who is now Marine). I started collecting the books a few years later when the library started sloughing extraneous copies. But I didn’t manage to get the whole set, and I could never remember which books I had and which I didn’t. I wrote down which titles I had in my planner/binder/notebook–but since writing my list, I haven’t seen Snickett books anywhere. Until last night. Last night, I saw the books and ran back out to my car to grab my notebook. They had every single copy I was missing. I was grateful to be able to grab them all up. Thank you, Lord.

…for the notebook I left behind
I got done checking out and had to take two trips to my car to carry out my loot (which also included a vintage suitcase, a purse/soft briefcase, and a cork board just the right size for a project I’d been planning). It just so happens, I left my book in the cart. I didn’t realize it until I’d gotten home (to Columbus from Grand Island.)

My heart started pounding, my pulse racing. My breath came out ragged, my mind spooling the loop. “What’s in it? Just my planner pages, long ago used up. I haven’t used it for weeks. It won’t hurt to just let it go.”

I mentally turned the divider and saw my list of books that I own and books that I’m missing. It’ll be sad to part with that but I can always make a new list. My mind turned over the next divider and what I saw made me certain I needed to get it back. Systematic theology notes and returned homework–and the homework I haven’t yet completed for when we resume after the holidays. Yeah, I’d probably want that back.

The next divider clinched the deal. My TBR list, painstakingly handwritten in pencil on the special sheets I’d made for it. Categorized by section of the library and further by author last name or Dewey Decimal category, I’d arranged it for ease of finding books at the library (and for erasing read books and refilling that slot with a new item). Furthermore, many of the items on the list are cataloged only on that list, since my computer debacle earlier this year meant that I lost all my bookmarked book reviews that populated my TBR list.

Yes, I needed it back. I started playing through scenarios of how I could get it back, even jumping out of my bath in the middle of it to search once more through my car to see if I’d somehow missed it when I brought my stuff in. Anxiety was at its peak.

Then I stopped and reminded myself that I could do nothing about it today. I left myself a note for the next day and went to bed. The next day, I called the Goodwill. A helpful donation sorter found my book and gave me a call back. It was safe and sound in the office until the day I could return to get it back.

I’m so thankful to get it back–but even more thankful to have learned something about surrendering my fears to God, and letting Him deal with the details.

Don’t you just love a heart-to-heart conversation?

I know I do–but heart-to-heart’s are generally few and far between. Instead, the majority of our interactions consist of little exchanges–but little exchanges that can be cumulatively just as valuable as a long heart-to-heart.

This week I’m thankful…

…for “best part of the week” questions around the dinner table after church

…for abbreviated life stories at 38th Street Coffee after Highland Park’s Harvest Celebration

…for conversations in creation and long-term-care law with my dad after we were seated but before the orchestral performance began

…for chats about theology and life on the long drive back home from Lincoln

…for tracking with Bill about humanoid hominids–and the interest various others took in the topic

…for TULIP talk with Gina and caveman talk with Corbin

…for Natalie’s earnest private encouragement once I was done talking with her mom and brother: “You should look up II Timothy 3:16. We’re memorizing it right now, and…you should look it up.” (Natalie is in 2nd or 3rd Grade. She goes to Sunday School during second service, so she’s not in my class; but we see each other often during the “switch” when the second class is filing in and my class hasn’t quite all been picked up.)

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”
~II Timothy 3:16-17

Thankful for the Word of God, which is profitable for my own training and for others’. Thankful for Gina’s faithfully training her daughter in the Word. Thankful for Natalie’s faithfully sharing the Word with me. Thankful for how encouraging it is to hear the Word from the lips of a child.

Last night, my Bible study played games to see off one of our own who is heading to Los Angeles to do inter-cultural missions with refugees and immigrants.

We played the game “Things”–and boy did we come up with some funny things.

This week I’m thankful…

…for things that make me think
Brushing up my knowledge on celiac-sprue, contemplating the free will of God, trying to comprehend rolling six-month weight loss statistics (that have denominators of around 100 despite having ~250 instances.)

…for things that make me smile
The resident who blessed me–not after a sneeze but after a conversation. “Bless you,” he said as he wheeled himself away. A picture of Little Miss in her adorable bumblebee costume, sent to my cell phone courtesy of her mother, my sister-in-law. Playing games with my favorite girls around a coffee shop table.

…for things that I read
Antony Flew’s There is a God, reminding me again of God’s greatness as shown through general revelation. Melinda’s story of how she met and married her husband, rejoicing my heart in God’s faithfulness to her both in her singleness and now as she embarks on marriage. A blogger I’ve followed off and on for years who announced that she and her husband are seeking a divorce, driving me to pray in a way I haven’t prayed for a long time.

…for things that I see
The sun rising in the morning and setting at night. The leaves of trees turning and falling. The lines in the middle of the road. The writing on the page and the type on the computer screen.

…for things that I hear
The laughter of friends as we play together. The sound of my big sister’s voice as she reads over the phone to my little sister. The alarm in the morning, urging me forward.

…for the One who holds all things together

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.”

~Colossians 1:15-20 (ESV)

Mornings have been tough recently. When dawn breaks later and later and the air beyond my bedcovers is cold, I don’t like to get up.

Yet God reminds me of His great faithfulness every morning when I awake again.

Today I’m thankful…

…that the sun rises every morning, faithfully in accordance with the season

…for the daylight lamp on a timer that helps me pretend it’s still summer

…for the “Have a good day” Anna and I share each morning as we head to our respective workplaces

…for the all-to-common mornings where I linger in bed only to rush with a panic to get myself ready for work

…for the rare but blissful mornings where I’m up perfectly on time and have opportunity to spend time in the Word and do dishes before work

…that God’s mercies, like the sun’s rays, are new every morning, consistent and reliable

I almost started crying on my way to work today. Not for any reason in particular. Just ’cause I felt…weak, spent, overwhelmed, but not really.

I got to work and had a slice of breakfast pizza in our morning meeting. Bad idea. I felt ill for the rest of the day.

Today I’m thankful that…

…God never has an off-day

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”
~Hebrews 13:8 (ESV)

…God cannot be contained by space

“Behold, heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain you”
~I Kings 8:27 (ESV)

…God’s presence is full of joy

“In your presence there is fullness of joy”
~Psalm 16:11 (ESV)

…God is a rock, higher than I, but one I can run to for refuge

“From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”
~Psalm 61:2