Thankfulness

You’ve heard the saying “God never gives us more than we can bear”?

It’s not true.

My mom says, “God never gives us more than He can bear.”

So much better.

But here’s an even better promise–one straight from the pages of Scripture:

“A bruised reed he will not break,
and a faintly burning wick he will not quench;
he will faithfully bring forth justice.
He will not grow faint or be discouraged
till he has established justice in the earth;
and the coastlands wait for his law.”
~Isaiah 42:3-4 (ESV)

How often do we feel like bruised reeds, like smouldering wicks? How often do we grow faint or get discouraged?

For me, it’s pretty often.

But in Christ, I have an amazing promise. He will not overburden me–and He will not be faint or get discouraged in pursuing justice. Thus, I can rest, even under the load that bends my reed to its capacity.

This week, I’m thankful…

…that Jesus Christ bore a crushing load so that I would not be broken

“Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed…

it was the will of the Lord to crush him;
he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;
by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
make many to be accounted righteous,
and he shall bear their iniquities.”
~Isaiah 53:4-5, 10-11 (ESV)

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
~Matthew 11, from Eugene Petersen’s The Message

This week, I’m thankful…

…for a pillow and blanket in the car and for wisdom to know when to use them
I had a long day night at work last Thursday. I drove home as the sun rose. I napped in Clarks. By the grace of God, I arrived home intact.

…for a flexible boss
Can I just say that I really appreciate my boss?

…for the ability to work from home and for the wisdom to know when (and when not) to use it
It was good for me to check my e-mail on Friday, to do the two minutes of work to put my dietary manager on a better footing. It was also good for me to choose not to do any other work on Friday. It was good to get all my “prep work” done on Saturday from home so I could only spend a couple/three hours in the facility on Sunday. I don’t have a lot of internal balance when it comes to work–but I trust God is helping me learn some.

…for trying a Pinterest tip while watching a YouTube video
I haven’t done anything around the house for what seems like forever–so, while attempting to clean a bread pan with baking soda and hydrogen peroxide doesn’t seem like much, it went a long way towards making my life feel less unbalanced.

…for my little sister coming to stay
I took advantage of my weird weekend to move the loft from upstairs down into the spare bedroom, soon to be my little sister’s room. She’s staying with us for the summer and working at, er, a company which shall remain nameless but which I also happen to work at (wink, nod). Since I have three buildings and am only in that one two days a week and since Grace is a CNA and I’m a dietitian, I don’t imagine we’ll really see each other much at work–but it’ll be lovely to have her staying with us.

…for Scripture, Scripture, and more Scripture
I need it. I need to be steeped in it. I need for others to pour it over me, even beat me over the head with it. Lord, to whom shall I go? You have the words of life. So thankful for all those who point my eyes back to Christ and fill my ears with the words of Scripture.

…for running(?!?) with the girls
I signed up for a 5K, Color Me Rad in Council Bluffs. I don’t have any time to train, wasn’t (amn’t) sure that I *will* train. I might have to end up walking it. Which is fine. But Anna encouraged me to go running/walking with the girls who are planning on running the same race–and I found the mindlessness of it all (waiting for someone to signal that it was time for a running interval or a walking interval) to be rather soothing.

…for sleep
I got eight hours of sleep one night this week. I know. Amazing. Overwhelmingly so.

…for wonderful fellowship with my peeps
I’ve so missed the Bible study gals. Sitting around the fire with them (and Jon) last night was so very refreshing–even if I (yet again) stayed too late and robbed myself of sleep.

…for a scale by the copy machine
I don’t weigh myself often, but I stepped on the scale while waiting for the copy machine to warm up (yes, I have a weird life.) The numbers on the scale weren’t that unusual, but they did cause me to realize that I’m not taking care of my body as I should. I’ve known that for awhile, but I haven’t had the energy or will to do anything about it (how can I, I thought, as busy as I am right now?) That little bit was somehow enough to focus my mind and make me brainstorm for little changes to make to take care of this body I’ve been given (maybe like, eating breakfast and going to sleep at night?)

…for peacocks, a peahen and hymns
It was not a good day at work today. I was gearing up for a major headache on my drive home, jaw clenched with the stress of the day, frustrated and running my frustrations over and over inside–when a flash of bright blue off the side of the road made me think I was hallucinating. I looked again and found two peacocks, strutting along in the ditch, along with one peahen. Of course, I grabbed my notebook to record the incident as something to be thankful for–which reminded me that, even in days like these, I can give God praise–which prompted me to open the hymnal that I just happened to have in the car, to turn off the music that was playing, and to sing hymns for the duration of my drive home.

“Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well
with my soul
It is well, it is well
with my soul”

I am thankful. Yes. I am.

Sometimes though, I’m busy enough or tired enough or whatever else enough that I forget to express it.

Which is why I have Thankful Thursday, after all. So long as I choose to do it.

Yes, I am thankful.

This week, I’m thankful…

…for quilting with Jo
It’s been forever since we just sat and talked, forever since we had our projects splayed out in front of us. So what if I didn’t get much sleep this weekend? I had a wonderful weekend with one of my best friends.

…for a crabby Little Miss
Really? I’m thankful for her crabbiness? Sort of. I’m thankful that God loves humanity enough to bring child after fallen child into the world. At nine months old, the Little Miss is an expert manipulator, doing what it takes to get her way. I was just like her and so were you. All of us, fallen from the day we were born. But God loved us despite our sin and paid the punishment for every manipulative tear.

…for work
God created work. He called man and woman both to it. Work is good. Even when I don’t like it. Even when I’m exhausted. He gave me work, and that is good. I will work at it heartily–and be thankful that God, in His wisdom, gave me such a work as this.

…for affirmation
Sometimes I feel absolutely boring, dried up, completely lacking in everything. Sometimes as in lately. I haven’t blogged much. I haven’t spent much time with my Columbus friends. I haven’t done much of anything except work (and drive to work in Grand Island). But then someone (Carrie) tells me I’m interesting–and my heart overflows. Maybe there still is something here. Thank you, Carrie–and thank you, Lord, for just what I needed to hear just now.

Yes, I am thankful

All through college, I cringed at the inevitable Monday question “What did you do this weekend?” While my peers were road-tripping to a baseball game or a football game or to ski in Colorado, I was being boring. Inevitably, my answer was “I worked. I read. I went to church. I hung out with my family.” That’s what I did over the weekends when I was a student.

This last weekend, though, I enjoyed one of those crazy college-like road trips, traveling to the West Slope of the Rockies in Colorado for a friend’s wedding.

This week I’m thankful…

…for wise advice
Anna encouraged me to work in the afternoon and let the girls pick me up from Grand Island, saving me 1 1/2 of travel time. It was wonderful.

…for the W’s van
The W’s “borrowed” us their van for our weekend trip–and it was lovely to stretch our legs out.

…for Holiday Inn Hilarity
We had plenty of fun that first night–and not a little embarrassment. Men around a non-existent bar, a workout room that looked bigger than it was, a swimming pool but no bathing suit, spilled Fruit Loops and military men. We had fun.

…for beautiful views
The drive from Denver to Montrose on Highway 50 was awe-inspiring. “How can anyone say there is no God?” became our oft-repeated refrain.

…for the Flamenco room
Our bed and breakfast was, um, interesting. But we had fun with it–and it was wonderful to have a place near the action. We met Grandpa (a Husker fan from Wyoming who gave us a little advice for Coach Pelini) and Step-Grandma while still at the B&B–and ended up spending not a little time with them over the weekend.

…an unexpectedly gorgeous gorge
See pictures and description here

…for something to do
When we set out, Ruth was the only one with an official job at the wedding (photographer). By the time the rehearsal dinner was done though, we’d all picked up jobs to do: Bout/corsage pinning, cake cutting, and on-the-spot orchestration. I’m not sure about the others, but I felt right at home once I had a job to do.

…for the gas station guy
For the record, we didn’t go to Colorado to pick up men (or even to watch for them). And we didn’t pick up any men–but we did see some. We had some rather shocking encounters. For instance, there was the rather good looking guy at the gas station who walked right up to our window to ask us if we could back up–or, maybe we didn’t need to back up–oh wait–well, thanks anyway. And then there was the teenager in a truck with a fully loaded gun rack who gave us that “head tip” thing as we were driving along (Um, honey? Don’t go after older women like that.) We had plenty of laughs over the various male sightings we had (Like that? I speak of them as though they’re wild animals seen unexpectedly. But sometimes that’s how they seem.)

…for safety through the snow
It started snowing Saturday night and we chose to start our drive back that evening lest we be snowed in. It was pretty clear until Rifle, but then the weather got bad quickly. I’m thankful Anna had the wisdom to know when to call it quits–and the level head and sharp reflexes to get us through the slick mountain passes on Sunday morning.

…for talking things out
I think you might call what we had on our drive an argument, maybe even a fight. It was definitely disagreement. But it was an opportunity for all of us to speak from the heart, to listen to one another, to seek to come to a compromise. It wasn’t fun, but it was good.

All in all, it was a wonderful getaway. I’m so thankful that God brought me into community with the ladies I traveled with, that He brought Laurie into our lives and enabled us to go to her wedding. God has been good to us, very good.

If someone asked me, anytime in the last couple of months, to describe myself in one word, that word might very well have been “insufficient”.

I’ve had a stressful couple of months, with insufficient hours in the day to do the work I need to do, insufficient hours of sleep in the night to have the energy or will to do what I need to do.

I’ve been late to work and stayed even later. I’ve been late to Sunday School and bawled through church for having let my students down. I’ve had to drop my systematic theology class because I have to sleep sometime. I’ve been bad company for my friends and family because I just don’t have any heart left in me.

I’ve been insufficient.

And God reminds me through the verses I’ve been insufficient to memorize…

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and do not lean on your own understanding
In all your ways, acknowledge Him
And He will make straight your paths
Do not be wise in your own eyes
Fear the Lord, and turn away from evil
It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones
Honor the Lord with your wealth
and with the firstfruits of all your produce
Then your barns will be filled with plenty
and your vats will be bursting with wine.
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline
or be weary of His reproof
for the Lord reproves him whom He loves
as a father the son in whom he delights.”
~Proverbs 3:5-12

God is sufficient…trust Him, Rebekah.

God is wise…fear Him, Rebekah.

God is the Healer…put your heart in His hands, Rebekah.

God owns the cattle on a thousand hills…place your possessions in His keeping, Rebekah.

God’s discipline is His delight…let God delight in you, Rebekah.

And so, I break under the load of my insufficiency. I break…disappointed and a disappointment to others. I break…restless and unable to grant rest to others. I break…overburdened by life.

And Jesus says…

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
~Matthew 11:28-30

So I will choose to trust, to acknowledge, to fear, to honor, to come, to take up His yoke and learn.

And when He says…

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
~Philippians 4:6-7

…I will say, Thank you, Lord, that you are my sufficiency.

Sometimes knocks at your door means someone just hit your car parked on the street. Sometimes it means “Please call 911, a car across the street just burst into flames”. Sometimes it means there are high school football players trying to sell you something. (True stories all.)

But sometimes knocks at the door mean something else entirely. Sometimes they’re wonderful things, expected and unexpected.

This week I’m thankful…

…for the Nebraska Furniture Mart men knocking on my door to deliver my brand new deep freeze–which arrived precisely when it was supposed to, between 8 and 10 am on my birthday

…for opening my door to my little sister Grace, surprising me by coming up to visit for my birthday

…for hearing the doorbell and then my sister saying “Rebekah, you better come down here”–only to find that Brenda was here with a birthday crown especially for me

…for the door bursting open as my sisters and I were finishing supper–and Beth and Ruth coming in, bearing food to stock my new freezer with, and food to share

…for another knock, this time bringing Teresa and Joseph

…and another knock ushering Cathy inside

…and another knock announcing Jon’s arrival

…and still one more leading Landon and Kylee indoors

And those were only the knocks at the door–I haven’t even counted the sweet texts and Facebook messages.

It truly was a marvelous birthday–thanks to everyone for knocking yourself out to make it wonderful.

(And, finally, thanks to God–who gave me the day on which to celebrate, the friends with whom to celebrate, and a life so full I can’t contain it.)

I was doing my reading for Systematic Theology, contemplating common grace and the difference between common and saving grace, when it hit me.

Common grace, the undeserved blessings God bestows on all men, means that for the unbeliever, this life on earth is as good as it’ll ever get.

Saving grace, the undeserved blessing of salvation bestowed upon those who believe, means that for the believer, this life on earth is as bad as it’ll ever get.

What a sobering and joyful reality.

This week I’m thankful…

…for air in my lungs–and in those of my unbelieving neighbors and coworkers

…for medicine from the pharmacy, prepared by unbelieving hands

…for books, written by unbelieving minds

…for music, the expression of unbelieving souls (beautiful nevertheless)

…for cars and gasoline, brainchild and craft of myriads of unbelieving men

…for computers and blog platforms, built and sustained by unbelievers

…for God, who in His infinite grace made me beneficiary of both common and saving grace

All of it undeserved, thousands of blessings unmerited.

Why am I not struck dead on the spot? Why do subatomic particles repel and attract in just the right measure? Why does the universe continue holding together? Why does art and science flourish?

Why do I have hope for a life beyond this world?

Certainly not because of me.

I am thankful for God’s grace, poured out on His merit alone.

…for

I seem to go through seasons where I spend a lot of time blogging, and other seasons where I spend a lot of time with people and have less time for blogging. This is good, I think.

This past week has been just packed with people–and I’m so thankful to God for placing me in and amongst such wonderful believers who regularly encourage me to walk worthy of the calling.

This week I’m thankful…

…to be able to support my friend Beth by watching the Flying Faithful play basketball

…for conversation and laughter on the dining room floor following a “trunk show”

…for pancake men and comfortable conversation with my sister

…for a newer friend and a couple old ones and supper in a rather sketch Mexican joint

…for a hastily assembled Sunday meal and conversation moving into the living room after lunch

…for FLOCK crashers and flock-belongers staying after to discuss and debate

…for long telephone conversations with my folks and encouragement to continue on

…for transparent testimony time with the girls who are praying for me and I for them.

And mostly, I’m thankful to the God who did not call me to a solitary existence, but into a body.

This week I’m thankful…

…that God is all-knowing

“God understands the way to it,
and he knows its place.
For he looks to the ends of the earth
and sees everything under the heavens.”
~Job 28:23-24

…that God is glorified in concealing things

“It is the glory of God to conceal things,
but the glory of kings is to search things out.”
~Proverbs 25:2

…that God is glorified when I examine concealed things.

“Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.”
~Acts 17:11

May I be a woman who diligently seeks to understand the mysteries of God, but who does it with humility and love, not shirking from tough things, but submitting every conflict to the wise and loving care of the one who knows all things and delights both to conceal and to reveal.

“But, as it is written,
‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him’—
these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God.”
~I Corinthians 2:9-10

Working with the elderly has a way of bringing life into focus.

It reminds us of our frailty, of the finiteness of our strength and vigor. It makes some of us fear growing old, others laugh about what kind of a cantankerous old person will be, still others eager for their own twilight years.

I know it has made me think both of the blessedness of my current youth–and my determination to be thankful and content both now and when my youth is gone.

Because there’s nothing worse than being unthankful for a gift when you have it only to be bitter once the gift is gone.

This week I’m thankful…

…for eyes that can see the subtitles on my tv screen.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. If I couldn’t read, I would be lost. But even should God take my eyesight (and I rather expect that, given my lineage of eye disorders), I will still choose to be thankful

…for ears that can hear the podcast being played from my MP3 player.

I’ve been storing up comments on what I’ve been listening to, intending to someday write posts on items as diverse as the laws of physics, Blaise Pascal’s wager, and dichotomy vs. trichotomy–all sparked by podcasts. I’m so thankful for how my ears have awakened my brain–and kept me awake–on my drives home after dark. But even should God take my hearing, I am thankful that there is a still small voice that can be heard without human ears.

…for a tongue that tastes the spicy heat of Buffalo Chicken Pizza and the sweetness of Ooey-Gooey Caramel Pumpkin Blondie Thingies.

One’s sense of taste diminishes as one ages. As one old lady told me today “It has no flavor and it’s too spicy.” I hated to tell her that the change in her perception of the food over the past three years probably hasn’t been as much about the food as it has been about her taste-buds. Yet even when my taste buds fail, I will be thankful that I can still taste and see that the Lord is good.

…for arms that can reach and bend and lift

I carry what seems like a half dozen bags, between my purse and my “travel bag” and my briefcase and sometimes a bag of books or whatnot. I’m so thankful that my (admittedly weak) arms have the strength to manage my daily activities. But even when my arms fail, I am thankful that there is One whose arms never fail, who holds me there in His unfailing arms.

…for feet that can walk

I’m a walker. I don’t like to talk on the phone if I can just walk down the hall and talk to you face to face. I’d rather not save my steps when carrying charts to a meeting–I’ll take as many trips (heavy-laden) as necessary to avoid having to use a cart. But even youths grow tired and weary. Even young men stumble and fall. But I am thankful that those who wait on the Lord will soar on wings like eagles–even when their legs can no longer hold them.

Here, in the dawn of my life, I will choose to cultivate thankfulness. And someday, when the twilight comes, I pray that I will be thankful in that as well.