Thankfulness

“To despair,” said Marilla. “Is to turn your back on God.”

I don’t know who wrote those words that appeared in the Kevin Sullivan movie “Anne of Green Gables”, but they were certainly apt.

Their corollary, I think, is that “to worry is to turn your eyes from God.”

This week I’m thankful…

…for a sermon that clearly identified sin
On Sunday, Pastor John Kiningham gave a wonderful message on pride from I Peter 5. One of his points was how verse 7 correlates with the previous verses. “Casting all your cares on him.” We cast our cares because we realize that we can’t handle them, but that God can. When we worry, we are walking in self-reliance, which ultimately amounts to pride.

…for opportunity to encourage my sisters to cast their cares on Christ
John encouraged us to exhort one another to cast our cares on Christ. I was privileged this week to have opportunity to do so.

…for the Holy Spirit bringing truth to my remembrance
I disappointed myself this week. I didn’t say what I wanted to say, didn’t act the way I wanted to act. I was worried about the outcome, worried I’d botched something I really didn’t want to botch. I was starting to stew in anxiety.

But then the Holy Spirit brought the sermon back to the front of my mind. God’s word began to penetrate my heart.

Worry is pride.

When the God of the universe stands before me, holds the galaxies and myself in the palm of His hand, when He works all things according to the counsel of His will, to worry is to turn my eyes from God to myself.

How prideful am I, to think that my failure to speak can destroy God’s plan! How full of myself to think that my foolish words can topple His holy purposes!

My worry is foolish, is sinful, is proud. It is shutting my eyes, stopping my ears, and acting like God isn’t sovereign.

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me of truth. Whatever I said or did not say does not alter Your plan. My best and my worst are both laid bare in Your master plan. You know and you lovingly designed every moment of my life, even the moments when I feel foolish or stupid or unloving. And in Your sovereignty, You ordain good from it all.

Thank You, thank You, Lord. I choose to humble myself before You and cast my cares on You.

If it is true (and it certainly is) that God is sovereign, then every event of our lives, from the most minute to the most profound, has been forethought and planned by God.

If it is true (and it certainly is) that God has planned all things to work together for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purposes, and if it is true that I am called according to His purposes, then every event of my life is designed to accomplish good.

If God has specially designed, lovingly thought through, every detail of my life in order to accomplish my good in His ineffable purposes, does it not follow that I should worship and thank Him for every detail?

“So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and struck Job with loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took a piece of broken pottery with which to scrape himself while he sat in the ashes.

Then his wife said to him, ‘Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.’ But he said to her, ‘You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?‘”

~Job 2:7-10 ESV (emphasis my own)

This week I’m thankful…

…for hot flashes at work on Monday
It’s been ages since I had that over-the-top-can’t-breathe-I’m-so-hot feeling. But I had it, briefly, on Monday. It was, I realize now, a harbinger of what was to come.

…for an excruciating headache accompanied by nausea on Tuesday
I usually feel a bit icky in the mornings, which resolves as my allergy medicine kicks in. By the time I realized that it wasn’t just that, I was already in Grand Island–too great a distance to turn around and go home just because I feel awful (and because I’m not sure another hour of driving, this time into the sun, would have done my headache any good.) So I waited it out and finally left work a bit early, bringing home enough work to keep me busy for a while to come.

…for an unexpected rash
I was stunned when I undressed for my bath and discovered a frond of bubbling rash to the left side of my back. I quickly inspected my dress to see if there had been something on the fabric; inspected where my hair had fallen to see if I was having some sort of allergic reaction to my hair tie. Neither panned out.

…for sisters who don’t mind
Strangely enough (considering that I’m not exactly the classic demographic for shingles), my first thought was shingles. I had each of my sisters inspect the spot in turn, to make sure I wasn’t inventing a medical condition for a cluster of pimples. They confirmed, this was not pimples.

…for itching and burning and finally for sleep
It was like the whole left side of me was itching, the rash was burning. If I placed any pressure on my left side, it fell asleep. I did not fall asleep. I read impatiently, wishing for sleep but finding it elusive.

…for a speedy doctor’s visit
My own doctor wasn’t in the office on Wednesday, but I got in with one of his partners fairly early in the day. After a whiz-bang visit, I was on my way with a diagnosis of shingles and a prescription for an antiviral. If I hadn’t identified the rash as early as I had, it might have been too late for the antiviral and I’d have just had to wait it out. As it is, I’m taking antivirals three times a day, but I’m getting some help in fighting the stuff.

…for plenty of work
My shingles has been apparently fairly mild (judging from the stories I’ve heard of others’ cases)–but one of the things it has done is made my left arm sore. Which makes typing (a large part of my job) less than fun. Nevertheless, I had at least ten hours worth of work to do today–and I got through it.

…for Anna’s proposal
When we were discussing how I’m not exactly the target demographic for shingles (shingles is most common in the elderly, the immunocompromised, and those who had chicken pox before age 1), I mentioned that stress probably pushed my Herpes Zoster (chickenpox virus) out of latency. Anna said that she would like to propose a prospective randomized double blind clinical trial…of children who have had chicken pox over their birthdays.

Of course, that’d be what did it. Naturally someone who had chicken pox on her ninth birthday would also have shingles when she was 27. It’s the perfect explanation.

And it made me laugh.

…for Job days that aren’t Job days at all
Job was covered with sores from head to foot. I have a mere couple square inches of sores with pain/burning/soreness radiating outward along just half of my body. Job lost his family and possessions. I still have my family to sympathize with me and my Kindle to read to me. My Job days are nothing compared to his, except for one thing.

The same God lovingly ordained each of our days and each of us to our own days. And should our loving God dream me into one of Job’s own days, I pray that I should respond in the same way as he.

“Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped.”
~Job 1:20 ESV (Emphasis mine)

God is worthy of all praise, in my best days and in my worst. Furthermore, even my worst days are a testament to His faithful, loving, sovereignty. I will praise, I will thank, I will adore my King.

Make new friends
But keep the old
One is silver and the other gold.

I don’t know that I’m the quickest to make friends or the best at keeping them. I tend to be very task-focused and forget I have friends. I have to continually remind myself that maintaining friendship requires investment.

I have to take the initiative, make the time for friends.

But despite my failings as a friend, I am thankful for the wonderful women I call friends.

This week I’m thankful…

…for like-minded companionship during state survey
One of my facilities was in survey last week and the beginning of this. It was, as it always is, busy and stressful. But the stress of survey was in a great way allayed by having plentiful opportunity to catch up with a fellow dietitian.

…for a quick stop-over from my folks
It was so nice to have my parents come to church with us and to go out to lunch with them after church on Sunday. They were on their way north for vacation and decided to stop in. So wonderful!

…for movies with my sister
After we successfully completed our survey (truly successfully-with only one tag for the entire building!) and after I’d celebrated with the team (erm, somewhat exhausting, actually, I’m not much of an after-work drinks person), I drove home and watched half of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone with Grace (who was on her day off). I got a bit too sleepy to make it through the whole thing, but it was fun to be nerds together, exclaiming and complaining in turn as the movie producers got something right or wrong.

…for a night with the girls
We’ve all been crazy busy this summer, so it’s been what seems like ages since the old Bible study crowd had a chance to talk. So when we did all go back to Wednesday night Bible Study to send Beth off to Greece for her short-term missions trip, we were talking up a storm. It was so good just to give and receive hugs, to catch up on life, to be silly and to be serious, to cry and to laugh, to just be with one another.

I am so blessed by these friendships, old and new and in-between.

Thank you, thank you, Lord.

Wanna hear a little story about my amazing Monday? I arrived at work to learn that one of my dietary managers had been in a serious car accident. I’ll need to take a more hands-on role in kitchen management. An hour later, I got a call from a second dietary manager that state surveyors were in the building. I left immediately for the surveyed building. Later that day, another phone call notified me that the third of my dietary managers would be taking two weeks of medical leave immediately. I’d be taking on all charting and some additional tasks at that facility as well.

So I’ve been a bit stressed. Things have been a bit hectic.

But not my life.

Because my circumstances are not my life.

Christ Jesus is my life.

This week I’m thankful…

…that God never gives us more than He can handle

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
~Philippians 4:19

…that my life is hidden with Christ

“For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”
~Colossians 3:3-4

…that this world is temporary

“And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”
~1 John 2:17

…that I have an eternal hope

“But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”
~Titus 3:4-7

These circumstances are not my life.

Christ Jesus is my Life.

Thank you, Lord.

Truthfully, it’s never fun being sick. It stinks to be running to the bathroom and to have your nose forever dripping (Yes, I managed to have two separate but simultaneous maladies. My body really knows how to pile it on.)

But if I’ve got to be sick, this is the kind of sick I like. So long as I was near a bathroom and a handkerchief, I didn’t feel awful, and I could still do all sorts of the puttery stuff I like to do (as in, read.)

Today I’m thankful…

…for finishing books
It’s so lovely to stay in bed (okay, or spend time in the–but that’s TMI, isn’t it?) and read a book, knowing that you can do so until you’ve finished said book, if you should so choose.

…for a sister who cooks
Grace had today off work, so she got up rather late and started puttering around in the kitchen (well, she started puttering after several hours of internet activity). She made lunch and a cheesecake (which we have *not* yet eaten)–and, best of all, she cleaned the kitchen

…for Harry Potter on CD
Grace asked nicely if we could listen to The Sorcerer’s Stone on our way back from Lincoln on Sunday. Since she’d asked nicely (and since we were in her car), I said that would be fine. And then, of course, I couldn’t just not hear the rest of the story. So I’ve been listening during periods of unavoidable delay–and I’ve been enjoying it quite a bit.

…for Bible study in bed
Another activity which hasn’t included much leisure of late. I find myself spending all too little time in the word–and way too much of my time rushing through chapters and verses. It was wonderful to actually study today.

…for working from home (but not too much)
Sometimes it’s a drag that I can (and sometimes have to work from home–but other times it’s a real blessing. If I couldn’t have done some work today, I’d be uber-rushed and really stressed tomorrow. As it is, I was able to get a fair bit of busywork (but necessary busywork) done from home in between conversation with my little sis and perusing craft blogs.

…for only a 24(ish) hour bug
Honestly, I don’t know exactly when it started, or if it’s entirely ended–but it is certainly getting better. It’s handy when such things manage to wear themselves out in less than a day. Saves a lot of trouble.

But now, with my sick day behind me, it’s time for me to take my bath and go to bed. Tomorrow is a work day and I’ve got to be fully recovered in time for Saturday’s bash–we’re having a party to welcome my new sister-in-law to the family. It’ll be the first time most of the extended family (including my grandparents) has had a chance to meet her, since she and John have both been doing their Marine stuff for the last year and a half. So, yes, must be off to get myself rested.

G’night and God Bless!

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m a big fan of food. I love to cook it, I love to eat it, I love to talk about it.

Food is a gift from God

I am so thankful for food.

This week I’m thankful…

…for hamburgers grilled and beans baked
My company had our annual Friends and Family Picnic last Thursday. We invite the whole community to come over to eat, bounce in a bounce house, listen to music, and try to dunk somebody in the dunk tank. It’s always a fun time and this time was doubly-fun because my folks came up from Lincoln to spend the evening with Grace and I.

…for meals that keep on giving
I checked out a cookbook called Cooking for the Week from the library the last time I was there. I’ve prepared the first set of meals. The first “weekend” meal involves roasting two chickens and serving them with steamed broccoli and herbed biscuits. (There was also supposed to be a cheesecake–I ended up buying the stuff to make the cheesecake, but haven’t yet put it together.) Then, you eat off of that all week long. Some of the leftover chicken and some of the leftover biscuits becomes chicken pot pie (which was absolutely delicious). Some of the leftover broccoli and broth were used to make a linguine recipe. All this is great–but I expanded it a little further with chicken enchiladas one night and all the fixings for chicken noodle soup prepped and in the freezer for a rainy day.

…for a Father’s Day lunch with surrogates
Gracie had to work and I desperately needed down-time on Sunday, so we stayed in Columbus on Father’s Day (we’ll be celebrating our Daddy this Sunday instead). Erik was so good as to let us (and some others of the young adults in the church) intrude upon his Father’s Day lunch out with his own family. It was good food and even better company.

…for bracingly fresh hand-squeezed lemonade after a bicycle ride
Anna has plans for next Sunday, so she went to Lincoln for the real Father’s Day–which meant that I didn’t have a car to take me to my Mission’s Prayer meeting Sunday evening. Not a problem–I hopped on my bike and rode out. By the time I got there, I was parched, though, and Joy’s homemade lemonade hit the spot.

…for Wendy’s Apple Pecan Chicken Salad
This stuff is amazing. I never used to go to Wendy’s, so I wouldn’t have known about this salad except that Cathy mentioned it one day. I drove through the next time I was in GI late–and I was hooked. Mixed lettuce, dried cranberries, apple bits, candied walnuts, grilled chicken, and blue cheese topped with a pomegranate vinaigrette. The half size is just right and doesn’t break the bank either. This is my new go-to meal when I’m going crazy (like when I’ve been working collaboratively on weight losses all morning and have a training for new Dietetics Association officers all afternoon and failed to leave time to eat!)

…for tried and true recipes (that someone else made)
Truth be told, I prefer to make novel recipes. But I love eating the oldies but goodies. I’m so thankful that Anna prepared some tuna casserole Wednesday evening. It reminded me of when Dad used to cook–and how we kids would complain. But really, I love the stuff.

Food can be a feast for the eyes, for the taste buds, for the olfactory bulb, even for the ear. It can be fuel for my busy body, medicine to heal the pressure ulcers (read-blisters) I gave myself by walking too fast in ill-fitting shoes. It can be a medium for communication and fellowship.

But above all that, it is a gift from God.

Thank you, Lord, for this gift.

I’m not going to lie by pretending that I’m anything but a homebody.

One of my favorite places to be is in my own home–curled up on the couch hand-quilting, at my computer desk blogging, in the kitchen baking, on the dock reading.

One of the unfortunate consequences of having to work for a living, though, is that I’m not home nearly as much as I’d like. And when I am home, my time is rushed and the house a wreck.

Nonetheless, I’m thankful for home, such as it is.

Today I’m thankful…

…for a box of vintage patterns categorized by date, sitting in my computer room (still there from when I was searching online for the dates for those last elusive patterns)

…for the quilt that is progressing, sitting in the living room (still there from when I was working on it while watching movies with my sisters this weekend)

…for the antique serving dish in the dining room, bought for me at auction by a good friend (and not yet in its place because I haven’t had time to rearrange the china to showcase it)

…for the handcrafted shelf given to me by another good friend–and still sitting in the hall more than a year post gift

…for the almost clean countertops and full fridge in the kitchen. Now that my little sister’s living with us, I have more impetus to cook (or maybe I’ve just been eager to do so all along.)

…for the tools scattered throughout the garage, evidences that Beth and I are making progress with our birthday wall-hangers

…for the lawn mowed with love, proof of the W boys’ willingness to help me–and to help their sister fund her missions trip to Greece this summer

…for the dock out back and conversations with Ruth on that dock

…for the sister now sleeping in the guest room

I have a home packed with blessings, undeserved gifts from God.

Thank You, Lord, for my home. Thank you, Lord, for my friends. Thank you, Lord, for filling my home–and my heart–with oh so very much.

I didn’t grow up in a liturgical church, but my first pastor came from a liturgical tradition and he ended every service of my first ten or twelve years with the priestly blessing:

“The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord make His face shine upon you
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you
and give you peace.”

To this day, whenever I hear those words spoken, I lift my heads towards heaven to catch the rays of God’s face shining upon me.

I’ve come to see something amazing about this blessing, the blessing God entreated His priests to bless His people with. When our heads are lifted up in joy, God makes His face shine down upon us. When our heads are bowed down in sorrow, His countenance is lifted up upon us. And amidst the ups and downs, He gives us His peace.

This week, I’m thankful…

…for peace when friends are hospitalized, close to death

…for peace when friends are celebrating, beginning a new life together

…for peace when I leave work at 4:30

…for peace when it seems I’ll never leave work

…for peace when there isn’t any food left on the line for me to eat

…for peace when I unexpectedly find a mulberry tree full of berries (in my own neighborhood!)

…for peace when I’m ecstatically joyful

…for peace when I’m frustrated and angry (is that a contradiction? except it’s true.)

I’m still working my way through Sarah Francis Martin’s Stress Point: Thriving Through Your Twenties in a Decade of Drama, and in one of the exercises, Sarah encourages her readers to read Jeremiah 29:11.

Since I’ve had Jeremiah 29:11 memorized for a couple decades (man, I’m old!), I was inclined to just recite it in my head and be done with it. But I didn’t, and I’m glad.

I read in the ESV: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Seeing the [a] behind “welfare”, I dropped my eyes to the bottom of the page for the explanation. “Or peace”, the footnote read.

In my childhood memorization, I’d learned the NIV: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”

Now, I’m not knocking the NIV, but I have to say that the two read completely differently to me.

When I think of prosperity, I have to force my mind to realize that this isn’t a material promise. I have to remind myself that this doesn’t mean God’s promising the American dream of a husband, kids, a home with a two car garage, and a chicken frying in a pan.

When I read the ESV, my mind travels of its own volition to the word that I quickly confirm is indeed there: shalom.

Completeness, soundness, tranquility, peace.

Shalom.

That life that can only be found when the face of God is shining down on you. That life that can only be found when the countenance of God is lifted up upon you.

Shalom. The thoughts God thinks as He gazes upon His children.

I am blessed to be one of His.

Blessed to experience shalom.

I’ve learned that if I don’t get the sleep I need, my body takes the sleep I need–most frequently when I’m behind the wheel.

As a result, I’ve learned to listen to the warning signs telling m it’s time to pull over for a nap.

I take quite a few of those naps since I’m now commuting three days a week–and more often than not have an added weekend trip too.

This week, I’m thankful for…

…cell phone alarms I can set for 20 minutes

…a seat that reclines almost horizontal

…a little pillow that hangs out in my trunk (except when it hangs out in my back seat

…a warm blanket that eases the unexpected Thursday night chill

…a convenient commute for pull-off parking

There’s a little town about every 10-15 minutes along my usual commute from Columbus to Grand Island and back. Which means I’m usually close enough to make it to one of them. Once inside town, I can pull off on any number of parking lots (or even just along a side street) for my nap.

Of course, I’m also VERY thankful that I have a cozy bed with pillows and blankets (even an electric one-useful for when Anna needs AC upstairs but it makes it too cold for me downstairs :-P).

Sleep. It’s good.

I’m thankful God has given me the grace to sleep off the road rather than on it–thankful that I and the many other drivers on Highway 30 are alive (and unharmed).

Maybe you haven’t recognized it from my blogging–or maybe you have–but I’ve needed an attitude adjustment for a good long while.

I’ve been busy at work and stressed and… I’ve been making excuses for having a downright rotten attitude.

I’ve dwelt on the worst in every situation, only bothering to be thankful when I sit down for my Thursday posts. I’ve whined and complained about my circumstances–and only given thanks despite my circumstances, rarely in my circumstances.

Then, by the grace of God, I received a review copy of Sarah Francis Martin’s Stress Point: Thriving Through Your 20s in a Decade of Drama. I started in on “Stress Point 1: Career”. And I read:

“By worshiping Him in our job situations, whether or not the circumstances are ideal, we run smack dab into happiness, blessings, and fulfillment. Dissatisfaction in our jobs is enveloped and overriden by insatiable satisfaction in El Elyon–our one and only Wish.”
~from page 18 of Stress Point

The author gives some tips for maintaining balance with regard to your career. None of them were particular earth-shattering, but the overall reminder was wonderful.

I needed an attitude adjustment-at work and in life.

This week, I’m thankful…

…for God speaking to me through this book

…for restful times of prayer during my commute

…for the ability to pray throughout the day

…that I can choose how I respond to circumstances

…for the truth of the Word of God which says:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer and supplication let your requests be made known to God–and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.”
~Philippians 4:6-7

It’s amazing how the simple acts of surrendering in prayer and worshiping in work produce peace amidst chaos.

Have I had a less crazy week? Not necessarily. But I have certainly had a less stressful week. Because when my attitude is in line with Christ, my burden is light.