bekahcubed

Categories Book Notes, Theology

God’s passion for His glory (Part 1)

2 Comments by

God is uppermost in His own affections, John Piper would say. God’s supreme and driving passion is for His own glory.

It’s perhaps the most provocative and uncomfortable of all of Piper’s statements.

It’s been the source of a dozen heated discussions between myself, my sister, and my dad. Anna and I take Piper’s side; Dad argues that Piper can’t be right. God is love (I John 4:8,16) and love does not seek its own (I Cor 13:5). Surely the whole of Scripture, the redemptive story reveals that we are uppermost in God’s affections, that God’s supreme and driving passion is for our redemption.

I don’t like to admit it to my dad, but I sympathize with his argument–an awful lot. (Believe it or not, even “perfect” homeschooled daughters like myself have difficulties admitting that they agree with their parents!)

I see Piper’s point and agree with it. God is certainly jealous for His own glory. It is certainly in man’s best interest that God be glorified rather than man. God’s glory is undoubtedly a major theme of Scripture.

But God is love. And love does not seek its own.

Piper’s response to this–that it is in man’s best interest that God be glorified rather than man–does not fully address this issue. Basically, it says that “love does not seek its own” except when we’re talking about God’s love. The rules are different for God because God’s self-seeking is for our best.

I don’t really buy that. The rules aren’t different for God–the rules exist because of who God is. Love isn’t self-seeking because God, from whom love is defined, is not self-seeking.

I’ve wrestled with this question on and off for years–and while I can’t claim to have come to a full understanding, I do feel that I have come to a position that I have some degree of peace about.

I’ll discuss my wrestlings, and the conclusion I’ve come to, a bit more next week–but first, I want to hear what you think about the topic. Is God primarily passionate for Himself, or for people? Is the idea that God is passionate for His own glory contradictory with the idea that God is love?

(This is a reflection on the first chapter of John Piper’s Desiring God. For more reflections on Desiring God, see my notes here.)

Categories Flashback Friday

Flashback: Movies. Yes. About those.

2 Comments by

Flashback Friday button I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, at least a dozen times, that movies are not my thing. I don’t get them. They speak in images and spoken words–media I only occasionally understand. I prefer the world of text, beautiful text. Movies are only useful to me when accompanied by subtitles.

Because of this, I’ll be responding to Linda’s Flashback prompt as questions and answers instead of my usual narrative. I just haven’t the connection to movies that enables a cohesive narrative.

What movies were popular when you were growing up?

Well, since I “grew up” only recently, that’s an interesting one to answer. And since I was (and am) pretty unaware of movies, I find it hard to identify specifics. It seemed like Forrest Gump was ALWAYS on at a certain friend’s house. I think it was on television–although they could have had a video of it.

Did you go to the movies very frequently? Do you remember what was the first movie you ever saw?

Nope, not very frequently at all. My first movie watched in the theatre was Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey. I was eight years old. My second was Sense and Sensibility, two years later. I think during my peak “teenagey” years, I may have gone to one or two movies a year–and then only because someone invited me and I wanted to spend time with them.

I’ve never seen a movie in a theatre by myself. What a waste of money!

What is your favorite genre of movies?

I like, and have always liked, musicals. Apart from that? Movies based on books (that I’ve read), when the movie is a relatively faithful rendering. Does that count as a genre? (I told you I’m really much more of a book person.)

What were your favorites then, and have they withstood the test of time?

My family didn’t own a tv, or anything that could play movies until I was a teenager–so it was always a treat when we went to my grandparent’s house and could watch movies there. Our favorite, which we watched over and over and over again, was Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. My grandma’s comment, after a series of rewatchings, has entered family legend: “That movie’s all about sex and violence!”

And it is, pretty much–as are most movies, we’ve decided.

Nevertheless, it remains a favorite to this day.

Do you have any particular memories associated with movies?

My first date was to watch the extended edition of The Fellowship of the Ring at a pizza place and then to attend the midnight showing of The Two Towers on the night it first came out. It was…probably not the smartest plan for a first date. My parents had second thoughts the week before I was to go–but by then they had already said that I could…and it was far too late to get a ticket for one of my brothers to chaperone. The next year I went to the midnight showing of The Return of the King with my sister–and to the group showing of the extended editions of both of the preceding titles at a local microbrewery beforehand. Those two occasions are probably the only two times that I’ve actually been excited about seeing a movie in a theatre.

Was buying snacks a regular part of the movie experience? What was your favorite movie snack?

Nope. Sometimes Dad would buy a bucket or two of popcorn to be shared among the lot of us–but usually we went without. I can’t say I’ve ever purchased food at a theatre.

Visit Linda for more Flashback Friday posts–most of them likely much more exciting than mine!

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: A Lazy Day

1 Comment by

Thankful for a Lazy Day before everything goes crazy!

Thankful Thursday banner

And for the crazy stuff coming shortly that makes the lazy enjoyable!

Today I’m thankful…

…for a good night’s sleep (it’s been awhile)

…for laundry that seems to getting done more quickly than usual

…for sitting down with a fun book (expect a review of The Homeschool Liberation League in the upcoming weeks)

…for eating potato chips (yep, I bought myself some yesterday–it’s almost becoming a monthly or so habit as my family get more and more concerned about my declining weight.)

…for leftover pumpkin cake from my sister-in-law’s birthday “celebration” (aka normal-Wednesday-night-hanging-out-at-McDonalds-except-that-Rebekah-brought-cake)

…for rain and thunder and green, green grass

…for a chance to spend time with my good friend Joanna on Friday (between her vacation and my starting back up to school and her starting a new job, we haven’t spent time together for at least a MONTH!)

…for a birthday celebration for my Grandma happening on Saturday

…for a family get-away scheduled for Sunday and Monday

…for the lab I’ll be teaching on Tuesday (I always enjoy doing beverages)

…for an interview for a job I’d really like to get on Wednesday (If they were to consider me their best candidate, they’re willing to wait to have me start until January, when my other commitments are over)

…for the job I’ll be starting on Thursday

And that brings me to next week’s Thankful Thursday!

I am thankful for the full life that God has given me to enjoy–and for the empty moments found here and there throughout.

Categories Book Notes, Following Christ

Inciting Passion

2 Comments by

This year, I have been concentrating on exercising my mind towards the things of God.

No doubt my longer-term readers have noticed the emphasis of this blog shifting from anecdotes to thinking and theology. Those who have seen my book lists have seen weightier books appearing more often on my lists–and have seen a greater emphasis on critical evaluation in my reviews. Those who know me personally have likely seen or heard some of my intellectual struggles of this past year as I’ve wrestled with the role of the miraculous gifts in today’s church, with what might appropriately induce someone to leave a church, with the role of Christians in government, with non-violence as a Christian virtue, and more.

Now, as I return to the classroom, teaching again, I still intend to exercise my mind towards the things of God–but to that I add one more goal.

I would like to stir up my passions towards God.

I want to incite within my soul such a thirst for God that I find the murky waters of this world unfulfilling. I should like to develop such a taste for God that I will turn aside from every trifle this world offers. I would like to desire God so deeply, so fully that the desire for Him drowns out every desire for any other person or thing. I should like for Him to become my consuming passion, my deepest longing, my forever quest.

I am reading John Piper’s Desiring God–and as I read, I am crying:
“Lord, awaken my hunger. Lord, awaken my thirst. Lord, awaken longing. Awaken my desire–for You.”

“I know of no other way to triumph over sin long-term than to gain a distaste for it because of a superior satisfaction in God.”
~John Piper, Desiring God

O Lord, I desire to find such superior satisfaction in You!

“…it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us…We are far too easily pleased.”
~C.S. Lewis, quoted in Desiring God

O Lord, may I not be easily pleased by the small joys this world offers.

“…This persistent and undeniable yearning for happiness was not to be suppressed, but to be glutted–on God!”
~John Piper, Desiring God

O that I may be glutted on You!

“God is glorified not only by His glory’s begin seen, but by its being rejoiced in.”
~Jonathon Edwards, quoted in Desiring God

May my life bring You glory as I rejoice in You.

“The pleasure Christian Hedonism seeks is the pleasure that is in God Himself. He is the end of our search, no the means to some further end.”
~John Piper, Desiring God

O, that I might delight in You, not as a means to my heart’s desire, but because You are my heart’s desire.

(This is a reflection on the foreword and introduction to John Piper’s Desiring God. For more reflections on Desiring God, see my notes here.)

Categories Family & Friends

Auto Loyalists?

2 Comments by

To me, the most memorable vehicle my family has owned was a white Ford Econoline van. It was a twelve passenger “extended”–which meant that it was the size of a 15 passenger vehicle but with only enough seats for 12 passengers.

Nebraska student drivers have an option of taking driver’s ed or of logging 50 hours of supervised driving in a variety of settings prior to getting their driver’s license. I logged most of my hours in our Ford van, driving it to church and back and back and forth from Lincoln to my grandparents’ farm in northeastern Nebraska.

So I’ve always sort of identified my parents as Ford folk.

Then, one day my brother and I got to talking. He said, “You know, the folks are pretty much GM people, aren’t they?”

I was aghast. Seriously?

Timothy began to count up the cars.

Currently, they own a Chevy Suburban, a Buick, and a Chevy Lumina.

Dad's Chevy SuburbanMom's Buick
The School Car Chevy Lumina

Before that, they owned several Chevy Celebrity wagons (was it two or three?). Mom’s previous car, “The Silver Mullet”, was another GM granny car. And the precursor to the white Ford van was a red conversion van, undoubtedly GM as well. Those are the only cars Timothy remembers–and I wasn’t paying attention to makes and models of their forerunners.

Mom enlightened me in a later conversation. Turns out the second most memorable car of my childhood was also a Ford. It was a two ton all-steel Green Station wagon–a hulking behemoth we named the “Zucchini Car”. I think that might have been the car we ran into a light pole with–the light pole came down but the car didn’t have a scratch. The “Zucchini car” finally met its end when we were driving to church and saw smoke rising from the hood. We rolled into a gas station and piled out of the car while Dad made tracks inside for a fire extinguisher. We ended up walking the rest of the way to church.

So my folks really weren’t (and aren’t) brand loyal at all. They bought what was economically feasible, what could fit our family. Given the tiny tendencies of foreign cars, it’s not unsurprising that they have generally owned American-made vehicles.

I’m not sure if any of us kids have developed any brand loyalties–but it’s clear that we’ve tended towards foreign cars.

My first car was a Chevy, but I’ve since owned a Honda and a Subaru.

Now, of the four kids who own cars, only one is domestic:

Anna's Ford EscortMy Subaru LegacyDaniel's Toyota CamryJohn's Toyota Corolla

I guess we’re not exactly what you could call Auto Loyalists.

Categories Book Notes, Following Christ

Pleasure seeking

Leave a comment by

To be human is to be a pleasure-seeker.

We are fond of thinking of the dissipated fellow partying all night, drunken, sleeping around, and experimenting with drugs as a pleasure-seeker. We are not likely to think of the sturdy fellow who goes to school, gets a job, and raises a family as a pleasure-seeker. Instead, we call him a level-headed chap. Then there are the philanthropists and volunteers. We call them altruistic. Certainly they are not pleasure-seekers. And finally, there is the missionary who travels to a different land to face certain death. He cannot be a pleasure-seeker, we say. We either call him crazy or a hero for his self-sacrifice.

Yet each of these is a pleasure-seeker.

Pleasure seeking does not distinguish one man from another, for pleasure seeking is a trait common to man. What separates one man from another is not that he seeks pleasure, but what he seeks pleasure in.

Furthermore, what separates one man from another is his relative success at not only seeking but finding pleasure.

The dissipated man is forever chasing a fleeting pleasure, a buzz that quickly fades. The steady man may have traded these “buzzes” for the pleasures of stability and comfort. The altruistic man has denied the buzz of the dissipated man–and perhaps even the stability and comforts of the stead man–for the pleasures of “doing the right thing” or the laud of other men.

All of these are pleasure-seekers, seeking pleasure in a variety of things. Each man trades some form of pleasure for another, depending on what he feels most likely to bring him long term pleasure. Some pleasures last longer than others. None of these last forever.

The Christian does the same thing. The difference is that while all these other pleasures are earthly and momentary, the Christian knows the source of true eternal pleasure.

The Chinese believers who face certain death as they seek a way into North Korea to share the gospel of Christ crucified and risen–they do so in pursuit of pleasure. They deem Christ the highest pleasure t be found–and are thus willing to forgo even fleshly life itself in order to chase after Him.

Crazy?

Only if God is not the eternal source of pleasure.

Heroes?

Perhaps.

Or maybe just the ultimate in pleasure-seekers.

God-seekers

(This is the beginning of my notes and reflections on Desiring God by John Piper. See other notes on the same topic by clicking the Desiring God tag.)

Categories Book Notes, Faith

Crying “Uncle”

1 Comment by

How many times in my moments, hours, days, months of sorrow have I cried out to the Lord for mercy? Like a boy wrestling with his much stronger brother, I plead “Uncle.” I can’t take it any more. The pain is too strong. I have not the power to keep fighting. Mercy, I beg.

Could it be in those days that He refused my request in order to answer my prayer?

“Mercy,” I pray.

And in His mercy, He ignores my “Uncle.”

I can’t take it anymore.

In His mercy, He keeps giving it–until I learn to cast my cares on Him.

The pain is too strong.

In His mercy, He lets the pain remain so that my faith can be refined.

I have not the power to keep fighting.

In His mercy, He keeps the fight going until at last I put down my arms.

In His severe mercy, He refuses to change my circumstances–lest in my changed circumstances, my heart should be unchanged.

A Severe Mercy–to give me not what I want, but what I need.

“It was death–Davy’s death–that was the severe mercy. There is no doubt at all that Lewis is saying precisely that. That death, so full of suffering for us both, suffering that still overwhelmed my life, was yet a severe mercy. A mercy as severe as death, a severity as merciful as love.”

~Sheldon Vanauken, A Severe Mercy

Categories Reflections

Flowers without leaves

3 Comments by

I generally park off-campus on the side kitty-corner to where I need to be, instead of going with the nearest parking. The 3/4 mile walk on and off of campus ensures that I get at least 15 minutes of moderate exercise per day (I know, pitiful!)

It’s a walk I almost always enjoy. Sure, my ever-laden bags start to get heavy after a while–but the distance there is great for reciting my memory verses in quiet rhythm with the staccato of my feet on pavement. And the walk back is perfect for offering the day’s burdens to the Lord in prayer.

I vary my route every so often, and once I found myself walking besides the most unusual flowers.

Flowers

Huge clusters of pink flowers soaring high above the mulch, with nary a leaf in sight!

The first time I saw them, entirely by accident, I merely stopped in shock and then resumed my walk.

On my return trip I took the same route and snapped a picture.

Flowers

How can they live like that? I thought. Flowers without leaves?

How do they gain their nourishment? They have no leaves to gather energy from the sun.

The next day, I had my answer. They don’t live long.

Today they are merely dead heads on swaying stalks–

A flower without leaves
can’t last long

Categories Everyday Life

Being a blood donor

4 Comments by

This last weekend, Davene mentioned her visit to donate blood and how relaxing she found it–and it got me to reminiscing about my own blood donation stories.

Davene said:

“Despite the tourniquet around my arm and the needle sticking in my vein, I thoroughly enjoyed my time and–for once–didn’t regret the fact that I’m a slow bleeder. I had a book to keep me company, of course (The Autobiography of George Muller, that my dear blogging friend, Margie, sent me), and was easily transported from the mall corridor where I reclined as my blood dripped out to Bristol, England, in the days of Muller. “

It reminded me of the time when I wasn’t a slow bleeder–at all.

I generally had a hard time donating because my iron borders on low, so I had taken to dropping by the downtown blood bank location whenever I was on city campus, just so they could check.

And finally, after a half dozen or so visits in which the pin-prick revealed that my iron was too low, I was able to donate.

I settled in and they tapped my arm–and bright red blood quickly gushed into the bag. Rather than getting venous blood, the phlebotomist had managed to tap an arteriole. I donated in less than a minute.

That didn’t bother me at all, since I was always incredibly busy as a college student. I had a packed schedule, between classes and working and volunteering and extracurriculars. I was always on the go and generally somewhat sleep-deprived. So getting my donation done quickly was a major plus.

What I didn’t count on was how concerned the blood bank staff would be about my rapid donation. They worried that my blood pressure would drop too low or that I might go into shock or something–so they insisted that I stay on the chair, sipping soda for 30 minutes.

And they wouldn’t let me close my eyes.

So there I was, exhausted from running, my mind racing through the many things I still had to do that day, bound to a chair with nothing to do but without the option of napping.

It was excruciating–and the Dr. Phil on the television was definitely not making it any better!

I’m glad Davene found her donation relaxing. My donations have not always been.

Now that I can no longer donate blood (thanks to the discovery that I have very low blood volume without removing some!), I think upon donation with mixed feelings.

It’s a relief to not have to worry about scheduling donations into my already busy life–especially since I never knew if I’d actually be able to donate or not. At the same time, it’s a bummer that I can’t donate. I know how valuable blood donors are, and how necessary. My blood type is generally in high demand, and the bank is always looking for more. I just wish I could still donate.

What are your favorite blood donation stories? Don’t donate? Why not? (You should really consider it–It doesn’t take much and it provides an invaluable resource to the ill and wounded.)

Categories The Week in Words

WiW: On Depression, mostly

2 Comments by

The Week in Words

On Depression as an idea about suffering:

“There is a sense in which depression has been manufactured–not as an illness, but as an idea about our suffering, its source, and its relief, about who we are that we suffer this way and who we will be when we are cured.”
~Gary Greenberg, Manufacturing Depression

Greenberg’s thesis is fascinating: that the modern medical model of depression involves distinct value judgments about what suffering is, what causes suffering, and how suffering is to be cured. As a reluctant sufferer from depression (that is, one who did not seek out a depression diagnosis), I know that I have often wondered about the implicit statements the diagnosis of “depression” seems to make about who I am and what I am experiencing.

The medical model seeks to de-personalize depression by making it “just” a disease. At the same time, how can I separate my response–that is, my willful response to my circumstances–from what the doctors would say is an involuntary, pathological response to my circumstances?

On the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM):

“The DSM is an unparalleled literary achievement. It renders the varieties of our psychospiritual suffering without any comment on where it comes from, what it means, or what ought to be done about it.”
~Gary Greenberg, Manufacturing Depression

Unlike manuals in more traditional medicine (which tend to describe etiology, symptoms, and treatment options), the DSM describes only the symptoms of a particular “mental disorder”. It pathologizes without regarding either cause or treatment, leaving sufferers in a difficult spot. They have been told that they have a problem–but since no one knows the cause, the only response can be to try to make the symptoms go away. The problem with this is that we have arbitrarily labeled these responses as unhealthy and sought to do away with them–but how do we know for sure that these responses truly are pathological? It’s an interesting thing to contemplate.

On what we really need when we need help:

“What you and I need most is not the affirmation of our stories, nor content-less, shapeless platitudes about the mysterious journey of faith, nor a morality pep talk, nor the undermining of God’s sovereignty. What we need is a glimpse of God in all his terrible splendor and wonderful weightiness.”
~Kevin DeYoung

It’s tempting, when times get tough and coping seems difficult, to think of all the things one needs: a good friend, unconditional acceptance, more sleep, less stress, an end to the struggles, an increase in medication, a check of thyroid hormones. But while some of these things may be helpful–they are not ultimately what we need when life is hard. When life is hard, what we ultimately need is to see God.

It reminds me of God’s answers to Job’s questions–more like God’s non-answers to Job’s questions. God doesn’t answer Job’s questions. He doesn’t explain the circumstances. Instead, He reveals Himself. And that’s exactly what Job needed.

“I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,
But now my eye sees You.
Therefore I abhor myself,
And repent in dust and ashes”
~Job 42:5-6

Collect more quotes from throughout the week with Barbara H’s meme “The Week in Words”.

**Note: Please recognize that I do not intend to make light of the sufferings of depressed individuals. Depression can be difficult and even debilitating. Many (including myself) have benefited from the medical treatment of depression. But I don’t think this means that we should simply blindly accept the medical model of depression without evaluating its underlying assumptions about who we are and how we respond to our circumstances. And we should certainly never let medicine or other psychological therapies take the place of turning our eyes towards Jesus.**