bekahcubed

Categories Health, Homemaking

I dream of swine

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Some people dream of farm-fresh eggs, delivered daily by their own backyard chickens.

I admit that a really fresh egg is delicious – but my local supermarket sells eggs with 660 mg Omega 3 fatty acids per egg for $2.49 per dozen. That’s 3.14 cents per 100 mg Omega 3s.

For reference, I could purchase salmon at $7.99 per pound (Going on memory for the cheapest I’ve seen it) and get 100 mg Omega 3s for 8.2 cents. If I went with the cheaper canned salmon, I could get 100 mg for 7.5 cents. Canned tuna could give me 100 mg for 5.5 cents, but I’d have to moderate intake to ensure that I don’t ingest too much mercury. So the eggs are definitely cheaper (and far easier to get my husband to eat regularly).

Now, I could go to Walmart and get a fish oil supplement with 100 mg Omega 3s for 1 cent each – but I’d also have to pop a pill, deal with fishy burps, and weigh the risks and benefits of unknown mercury exposure.

If I wanted fresh eggs that gave me the same amount of Omega 3s, I’d have to dig through the scientific literature to develop a balanced feed, purchase flax seed (which isn’t cheap either) to feed my chickens, and take care of the chickens. It may be that my finished eggs would be comparable in price to the store-bought Omega 3 eggs – but I suspect not, and it would take a fair bit of work even to figure out if it’d be economically feasible.

On the other hand, I cringe every time I am forced to dump spoiled milk, a bad batch of yogurt, or moldy buttermilk down the drain. I hate waste – and that’s good protein I’m dumping down the drain. Likewise, when I drain the chicken stock off an otherwise vegetable and bean soup before dumping the rest in the trash. That’s good organic matter I can’t compost because it contains animal products.

And then I get to the store where I take my chances with sausage and bacon, never knowing if the brand that’s on sale or lowest price will taste right in my recipes – wishing I could just buy ground pork and season it myself, but unable to do so unless I’m willing to pay exorbitant prices.

It makes me hanker for a pig.

Apart from poultry (which require a fairly large amount of labor in processing for the amount of protein you get from them), pigs are the most efficient converters of energy. They are omnivores, which means they could actually translate my kitchen waste into edible protein. As far as day to day maintenance goes, they’re fairly low maintenance (not so for a nanny goat or a cow!) And, they’re delicious.

Yes, I dream of swine. Well, probably not multiple swine (they *do* smell, you know.) But a single pig a year, grown fat on kitchen waste and field corn, slaughtered for a fresh supply of sausage, bacon, hams, pork chops, and lard. Ah, I dream of swine.

Categories What's on Your Nightstand?

Nightstand (September 2014)

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It was another good month for reading for me – still lots of baby stuff, but some other stuff sprinkled in (which feels quite nice!)

Books I've Already Taken Back

Books Returned to My Library

This month, I read:

  • BabyFacts by Andrew Adesman
    A collection of myths and old wives’ tales about the baby years – and the truth to correct the misconceptions. This was a fun and informative book. (Which means that I didn’t have any major quibbles with the nutrition section, so I’m assuming the author actually knows what he’s talking about!)
  • The New Natural Pregnancy by Janet Balaskas
    Absolutely laughable introduction to alternative therapies during pregnancy. I especially loved the warning to not take the highest dilution homeopathic remedies without a prescription from a homeopath. You never know what kind of harm a very small dose of water can cause (because statistically speaking, a 10M potency homeopathic remedy is not going to contain even one molecule of the “active” ingredient.)
  • On Becoming Birthwise by Anne Marie Ezzo and a whole spate of others
    I have difficulty conceptualizing a less helpful book for the expectant woman. This title presumes to help a woman understand God’s design for birth – but instead jumps from topic to topic with the barest of introductions to the birth process itself and how to cope with that process. The authors introduce the reader to various prenatal tests and procedures, but barely discuss risks and benefits of each. They introduce the reader to techniques for managing pain in childbirth, but don’t give enough information for the woman to successfully implement any of them. And they give some truly terrible breastfeeding advice. (Be prepared for breastfeeding rants after the baby comes and I start reviewing titles like Ezzo’s On Becoming Babywise.)
  • Ranger’s Apprentice by John Flanagan
    An absolutely delightful YA fantasy coming-of-age story. It’s clean, it’s engaging, and it’s well…see my full review for more.
  • Grace-based Parenting by Tim Kimmel
    I enjoyed reading and discussing this with my sister-in-law. It had some very good points regarding how parents can parent well – but it generally failed to show grace to imperfect parents, instead assuming that parents must be perfect reflections of God’s grace in order for their children to turn out well. See my full review.
  • Your Amazing Newborn by Marshall Klaus
    A look at some of the wonderful skills infants are born with or develop shortly after birth. Briefly discusses the six infant states, but not in a very helpful way, in my opinion. Someday I’ll have to discuss infant states on my blog – maybe once I can accompany the states with photo or video of Little Garcia in each of the states.
  • The Official Lamaze Guide by Judith Lothian and Charlotte DeVries
    A wonderful overview of labor and delivery, with an evidence-based look at interventions and options in childbirth as well as best-practices for natural childbirth. Gone are the days when Lamaze means patterned breathing (thank goodness!) This book is strong from an academic standpoint (although still plenty readable for the layperson), not quite as strong on teaching alternate (non-interventionist) strategies for labor and delivery. For example, it discusses the evidence-based benefits of movement during labor and of positions that let gravity work with you – but doesn’t describe good labor movements or positions in much detail. Likewise, it goes through a list of normal comfort/relaxation strategies, but doesn’t have exercises to walk you through guided relaxation or labor massage. Still, a strong reference work for women considering natural childbirth.
  • The Budget-Savvy Diva’s Guide to Slashing your Grocery Budget by 50% or more by Sara Lundberg
    Good practical tips for decreasing your grocery budget. I’m an experienced penny-pincher and frugal-grocery shopper and read this as a refresher for when we won’t have my income as cushion. I didn’t learn much, but her advice incorporates all of my favorite tips for keeping a grocery budget under control. For the just-learning-to-be-thrifty, this is a terrific resource.
  • Origins: How the nine months before birth shape the rest of our lives by Annie Murphy Paul
    A fascinating layperson’s look at the science of prenatal origins. If you’re interested in science and health and enjoy a journalistic/semi-memoirish style, you’ll enjoy this book. Take a look at my full review for more information.
  • Christmas in Spain
    Christmas in Ireland by World Book
    More Christmas obsession coming out.

Books on My Nightstand

Books on My Nightstand (Can you tell I cleaned for this picture?)

In Progress:

    Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline
    The next parenting book I’m reading with my sister-in-law. I see lots of value in the authors’ suggestions – and also feel that some of it isn’t as applicable to little-littles as the authors suggest.
  • The Complete Organic Pregnancy by Dierdre Dolan
    Because I’m reading every book in my library, not because I’m into organic.
  • The Burning Bridge by John Flanagan
    The second book in the Ranger’s Apprentice series – I enjoyed the first well enough that I’m going back for more.
  • Creeds of the Church by John Leith
    An introduction to creeds from Biblical times to those written in response to the rise of national socialism in Germany in the 20th century. I’m really looking forward to digging in to this.
  • The Princess and the Goblin by George MacDonald
    Almost done with my pick for this month’s Reading to Know Bookclub – we’ll be wrapping up discussion at the end of the month (but it’s a quick enough read that you can still jump in if you want to!)
  • Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley
    An A-to-Z guide to the baby care questions of the first year (and beyond.) Not surprisingly, given the title, this book is written from an attachment parenting perspective.
  • Parenting, Inc. by Pamela Paul
    A look at the products parents are increasingly being sold on. Primarily a sociological-type book, not a prescriptive one.
  • 1628 Country Shortcuts from 1628 Country People by Roy Reiman
    “Who Knew”s from the Pre-pinterest era.
  • Bestfeeding: Getting Breastfeeding Right for You by Mary Renfrew
    So far, it’s accurate information but poorly copy-edited. The frequent photos throughout are quite helpful.
  • The Baby Book by the Drs and Mrs. Sears
    Given to me at a baby shower. I’m not committed to the Attachment Parenting paradigm, but there are certainly some interesting and insightful things in here.
  • How to Have a Baby and Still Live in the Real World by Jane Symons
    So far, a very amusing alternative to What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I especially love the vintage illustrations with snarky speech bubbles.
  • The Baby Name Wizard by Laura Wattenberg
    We’ve already picked names, but it’s interesting to see what names were fashionable when and what makes for currently fashionable names (we’re trying to avoid fashionable, BTW.)

On the docket for next month:
Books under My Nightstand

Books under My Nightstand (Although the photo was taken on top of my bed)

Books in My Living Room

Books in My Living Room

Don’t forget to drop by 5 Minutes 4 Books to see what others are reading this month!

What's on Your Nightstand?

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: The Ruins of Gorlan by John Flanagan

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It’s not that I don’t enjoy YA fantasy. In fact, it’s one of the nicest things to escape into – since it tends to be light without being sappy and gritty without being crass. Nevertheless, I don’t often venture into that world.

I’m not sure why exactly. Certainly, YA fiction is a world where you can end up with just about anything – and a lot of YA fiction IS sappy and crass. Also, fantasy and sci-fi often overlap; and while I enjoy fantasy, I am not at all fond of sci fi (notable exceptions: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Ender’s War). So I don’t spend a lot of time browsing the YA section of my local library.

But when my sister-in-law was visiting over Memorial Day, she mentioned that she’d been reading and enjoying these YA fantasies – John Flanagan’s Ranger’s Apprentice. Like I do with so many things, I made a mental note of the series and promptly forgot about it entirely. Thankfully, my husband has a better memory than I and he asked me about a month later if I’d picked up that book Joanna was telling me about. Of course, by then I’d forgotten the name of the series, so I had to text Joanna for the title. I put in the request at the library and dutifully picked it up and put it in my bookpile – where it languished for months as I devoured everything pregnancy-related I could get my hands on.

But one day, I guess I’d had enough of pregnancy (actually, it probably was right around the time where I was feeling terribly one-dimensional, like all I did was talk about pregnancy and babies) and I picked up The Ruins of Gorlan.

I read it straight through and it was tremendous fun.

Five orphaned children, 15 years old and wards of the castle, prepare for choosing day – when they will offer themselves as apprentices to craftsmen and will be accepted or rejected into apprenticeships that will set them into their lives courses. Alyss, Jenny, George, and Horace know exactly to whom they wish to be apprenticed. They have already shown interest and aptitude in their desired life’s calling and some even have agreements with their chosen masters that need only to be approved by the baron.

Will, on the other hand, knows what he wants to do – but fears being able to do it. Will dreams of being a hero. He never knew his parents, doesn’t even know their names – but the note left on his basket when he was delivered to the castle in hopes that the baron would take care of him declared his father to be a hero in the last great battle against Morgarath. Will had been cherishing fantasies of his father for years – and dreamt of following in his noble father’s footsteps.

Which meant battle school, of course, and knighthood afterward. But Will is small and not particularly strong, frequently bullied by the clearly battle-school-ready Horace. Will intends to request an apprenticeship to the battle school, but fears that he will instead be rejected by all the castle masters – and end up being sent off to the fields like a common peasant.

Choosing day arrives and goes off exactly as expected. Alyss is accepted as apprentice to the diplomatic corps, Jenny to the castle’s chef. George will learn law and Horace will go to battle-school.

Will requests battle-school and is rejected. He is allowed a second choice and offers horseschool – and is rejected there as well. The mysterious ranger, who many suspect performs magic, slips a piece of paper to the Baron, informing him that there is something he should know about this Will. And the class of castle wards is dismissed. Tomorrow, the apprenticed students will report to their craftsmasters – and Will will go off to the fields.

Except for one thing – Will simply *must* see what is on that piece of paper.

In my opinion, The Ruins of Gorlan is the perfect sort of YA fantasy. It’s set in a medieval-type world with strange creatures, but seems to distance itself from actual magic – thus avoiding the deus ex machina I detest so in a fantasy tale. The protagonists experience a physical and mental coming-of-age, in which they are forced to reexamine old beliefs and establish character through fire. Both the plot and the characters are engaging. It’s just right.

Now that’s not to say that I felt the writing was particularly amazing – the occasional awkward construction and odd simile reminded me that the author is not a genius at his craft – but one can be very good without being a genius, and what Flanagan lacks in genius in writing, he makes up in skill as a storyteller. I can definitely recommend this book.

Rating: 4 stars
Category: YA fantasy
Synopsis: The orphaned Will dreams of becoming a hero like his noble father, but finds himself on a very different path than expected after he is rejected as an apprentice by his preferred craftsmaster.
Recommendation: Recommended for anyone looking for a good coming of age story or light fantasy. An engaging story well-told.

Categories Everyday Life

In which I receive my summons

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The envelope wafted in front of my face as I scrolled through the messages on my phone, obscuring my vision of the happy announcement (the youngest Miss Menter has arrived!)

“Are you doing relaxation exercises?” my husband asked me.

I averred that I had been, but was now catching up on family news.

“Well you’ve been summoned for jury duty.”

My eyes focused on the envelope from the jury clerk. He was right, I was receiving my first summons for jury duty. I was thrilled. Being on a jury has been on my life list for years. I’ve been eligible for 11 years, but never once summoned.

I slit open the envelope and my face fell.

The date I was scheduled to report was during our family trip to Williamsburg.

I read through the summons carefully until I got to the bottom section titled “Excuses from Jury Service”:

“Under the law, the judge is permitted to excuse you only if your presence is required elsewhere for public welfare, health or safety; if you are physically or mentally infirm that you are not up to the task of jury duty; if you have served on jury within the last year; or, if jury service would cause you extraordinary or compelling personal hardship.”

My only hope was “extraordinary or compelling personal hardship”. We’d have to cancel or change travel arrangements, be out several hundred or thousands of dollars (depending on whether Daniel went without me or if I tried to join the family for just part of the vacation). It’d be a horrid inconvenience, but was it “extraordinary or compelling personal hardship”?

I called the Jury Clerk the next day to explain.

She explained to me that she could not excuse me in advance, as I was only a stand by juror anyway. Instead, she would make a note on my file that I would be out of state for the dates of my trip. She then instructed me to call the day I returned from my trip to learn whether my jury group had been chosen and to serve (or be dismissed) at that time.

So I will be able to travel with the family – and maybe, just maybe, I could still sit on a jury before my years of breastfeeding (and therefore automatic excusal from jury service) begin.

Categories Parenting

No children, lots of theories

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You know that old saying about no children, lots of theories, and vice versa?

Well, with one in the hopper but none in hand, I’ve definitely got plenty of theories.

For kicks and giggles, I thought it would be fun to make a list of some of the many things parents take “sides” over – and declare my side.

You know, that way I can look back years from now and shake my head at how naive and idealistic I was back before I had children.

So, without further ado:

The first days:

Delayed cord clamping?
Wait until it’s stopped pulsing

Skin to skin?
One hour minimum right after birth

Vitamin K?
Yep

Eye drops?
Nope

Circumcision?
I don’t think it’s immoral, I probably think it’s on the smart side in our culture with increasing promiscuity (even if your son doesn’t engage in sexual relations outside of marriage, there’s no guarantee his future wife will be a virgin at marriage – and circumcision does reduce transmission of STIs). That said, I’ll defer to my husband’s judgment on that one. I really don’t have any strong opinions on the subject (believe it or not!)

Diapering

Disposable or cloth?
Prefolds with old-fashioned plastic pants (I’m cheap, but I plan to have some newer covers for when my kids are in the church nursery)

Pins or snappies?
Both

Feeding

Breast or bottle?
I hate that question. It should be “breastmilk or formula”, since women can still provide breastmilk in a bottle. But, I intend to breastfeed-that is, provide breastmilk “straight from the tap.” Pumping doesn’t appeal to me and if I’m going to be away from baby I plan on hand expressing and having him fed with a spoon or a cup.

Scheduled feedings or “on demand”?
I prefer to call it “per infant hunger/fullness cues”. I’ll breastfeed baby when she’s hungry and we’ll stop when she’s full. When she starts eating with the family around six months, we’ll work towards more of a schedule.

Vitamin D or no?
I’m deficient, so there’s no way my breastmilk will be sufficient (BTW, even in women with poor nutritional status themselves, breastmilk is generally a complete source of nutrition for a baby – except for Vitamin D.) I’ll be giving drops.

Nursing cover, blanket, or nothing at all?
Nothing at all

Introducing solids?
When baby shows signs of developmental readiness, no sooner than 6 months.

First foods?
Iron fortified infant cereal mixed with breastmilk. Which will be the only “baby foods” I’ll buy. Otherwise, we’ll be going straight to soft table foods mashed with a fork (but still introduced one food at a time with a new food every 3-5 days to watch for potential reactions).

Weaning from the breast?
No sooner than 1 year, probably no later than 2 years

Weaning from the bottle?
If I never use one, I’ll never need to wean from it. My kids can drink from cups

Pacifier?
Not for the first few weeks or until breastfeeding is well established. Beyond that, I probably prefer not but I’m not dogmatic about it.

Potential allergens?
Introduce them along with all the rest of the foods we eat as a family starting at 6 months. If we eat it frequently, we’ll probably be more likely to introduce it “early”. We will hold off on cow’s milk (for drinking) or honey (by itself or in anything) until 1 year.

Sleep

Cosleeping?
Baby in bassinet in our room no longer than 4-6 months. Never in our bed.

Back or front?
Back to sleep saves babies’ lives. Once they’re rolling, though, it makes absolutely no difference.

Nursing to sleep?
Can’t really stop it at the beginning – but once that first tooth emerges, nurse and brush or wipe before bed.

Rocking to sleep?
I’m generally a fan of laying baby down to sleep when he’s awake but showing signs of sleepiness.

Swaddling?
If baby tends to get overstimulated easily. But I don’t intend to rely on it as a regular means of getting baby to sleep.

Sleep training/Crying it out?
Yes, but not for newborns (or really even in the first 4 months or so.)

Miscellany

Babywearing?
Yep. But not all the time. It’s okay for baby to hang out in a crib or on the floor, with or without direct supervision.

Tummy Time?
Any time baby’s not sleeping or being held.

Car seats?
In the car, properly secured, and rear facing as long as possible. Baby will NOT hang out in the car seat outside of the car.

Church nursery?
Probably not until a breastfeeding routine is established, since I’ll want to be near enough to feed on cue – but once baby’s older and a schedule is established? Probably. I’m not opposed to having babies in the service so long as I’m still able to participate in worship with the rest of the congregation.

Of course, I haven’t covered everything here – far from it. In fact, I chose to focus on the first year and the controversies of that year. I have also not chosen to flesh out my positions on any of these. I’m not really intending to open up a debate here. I recognize that having a child of your own changes all sorts of things – and that different things work for different families. We’ll see what happens when baby comes and theory has to turn to action :-)

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: Origins: How the Nine Months before Birth shape the Rest of our Lives by Annie Murphy Paul

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Surely all of you have to be at least slightly familiar with “fetal origins of disease” theory by now? Earlier this year, I read The Gift of Health, The Prenatal Prescription, and Program Your Baby’s Health (all linked to the Nightstand post in which I mentioned it). All three of the aforementioned books were written by academics in the field of fetal origins of disease or “prenatal programming” and all three were focused on exploring and applying the science of how fetal environment (especially a mother’s nutrition, exposures, and mental health during pregnancy) affects the later development of offspring (including their risk of chronic disease later in life).

Annie Murphy Paul’s Origins: How the Nine Months before Birth Shape the Rest of our Lives is different from the above in several key ways. Murphy Paul is a journalist instead of an academic. She writes of her own experiences instead of prescribing someone else’s experience. And she makes fetal origins interesting (maybe even for someone who doesn’t make a living of caring for pregnant women).

Origins is divided into nine chapters, one for each of the nine months of the author’s second pregnancy, and each chapter details a different aspect of prenatal environment: the burgeoning science of prenatal influences, the impact of prenatal nutrition, how maternal stress affects the unborn child, toxic exposure during pregnancy, the differences between boys and girls in utero, how maternal psychological state impacts the fetus, how prenatal behavior may be capable of breaking “generational curses” of disease, societal interest in the health of pregnant women, and the amazing unconscious communication between baby and mother.

Very little of what I read in Origins was new information to me. I am, after all, a dietitian who focused a fair bit on maternal and fetal health during my formal schooling and in my continuing education afterwards. I work with pregnant women and young children on a daily basis. I have read journal articles as well as several books written for the general public on fetal origins of disease. Nonetheless, I found Annie Murphy Paul’s treatment of the subject to be fair and engaging. I didn’t slog through the repeated information like I have with some other books on the subject – I enjoyed the fresh look of a layperson’s perspective.

And I have a feeling that others who are interested in science and/or health would enjoy this book too.

Rating: 4 stars
Category: Popular science/health
Synopsis: The author explores the science of prenatal origins, using her own pregnancy as a frame for her exploration of the topic.
Recommendation: A wonderful introduction to the science of prenatal origins for the interested layperson. Engaging enough that anyone will enjoy it.

Categories Book Reviews

Book Review: Grace-based Parenting by Tim Kimmel

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In Grace-based Parenting, Tim Kimmel argues that Christian parents are susceptible to two extremes in parenting: erasing the boundaries or drawing in the boundaries more tightly than they need to be. He critiques a variety of Christian parenting models (fear-based parenting, evangelical behavior-modification parenting, image-control parenting, high-control parenting, herd-mentality parenting, duct-tape parenting, and life-support or 911 parenting) before offering an alternative: grace-based parenting.

Grace-based parenting encourages parents to offer their children the same grace that God offers His children. It recognizes the boundaries actually found in Scripture but gives grace in the wide range of gray areas. Kimmel argues that a grace-based home recognizes and fulfills three needs children have and gives children four freedoms they require.

According to Kimmel, Children need three things: a secure love (that children don’t have to compete for or earn), a significant purpose (both general, specific, relational, and spiritual), and a strong hope. In order for a child to experience grace in the home, Kimmel suggests, he needs to be given four freedoms: the freedom to be different, the freedom to be vulnerable, and the freedom to make mistakes.

I have some quibbles with certain more specific parenting techniques Kimmel suggests (he suggests that parents should be willing to fund trends, but not fads – which seems a reasonable idea for those who are looking for a moderate way to manage the wardrobe demands or whatever of teens – but which belies the fact that some parents may choose to fund necessities, not fads OR trends), but his main points seem solid enough.

Well, except for his mainest of main points. He summarizes it thus at the end of the book:

“You have been singled out to do a favor for God. He is asking you to be His representative to a small but vital part of the next generation. He needs someone to be His voice, His arms, and His heart. He chose you.

He chose you to assist Him in a miracle. He gave you children and then said, ‘Now go, and give these precious lives meaning.’ It’s a mandate that comes with a great reward if you succeed, but a heavy price if you fail.

This is where many parents panic. When they realize that their job is to raise up children to love and serve God, they wonder how on earth they will do that.

The answer isn’t on earth. It’s found in heaven. It’s sitting on an eternal throne. He has many names, but among my favorites is ‘The God of Grace.’ You wonder, How am I to raise up children to love and serve God? The answer is actually not that difficult. You simply need to treat your child the way God treats you.

He does it in His grace

And here’s the good part. If the only thing you get right as parents is His grace, everything else will be just fine.

I hardly know where to begin in detailing everything that’s wrong with this passage – but I’ll begin with what I see as the most glaring mistake: the assumption that somehow parents are responsible for giving their children’s lives meaning – and that they must be perfect reflections of God’s grace in order to do so. The truth is, it is God who gives our children’s lives meaning. It is He who causes them to love and serve Himself. Our children’s meaning in life and pursuit of God is not dependent on our reflecting grace perfectly to them but on God pouring out His own inexplicable grace on them.

Yes, parents who have received grace should lavish grace on their children – but not out of fear. Instead, our motivation should be to give what we have freely been given.

The answer to how our children will learn to love and serve God is not “found in heaven” in our imitation of God, but is found in God Himself. Yes, parents should imitate God, but first they should bask in the grace they have received from God, and trust Him to graciously call His children to Himself, even as they fail (again and again) at modeling his grace to their children.

Rating: 3 stars
Category: Christian parenting
Synopsis: Tim Kimmel offers an alternative to legalistic Christian parenting models by encouraging parents to extend the same grace to their children that God offers to them.
Recommendation: Valuable information on how to parent with grace – as long as parents already have a good grasp on the grace God has extended to them (because I don’t think Kimmel does a good job AT ALL of extending grace to parents, who will inevitably fail to reflect grace to their children, and who need above all to recognize that it is God’s grace, not their own, that will save their children.)

Categories Pregnancy, Work

You don’t LOOK pregnant

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I hear it often enough that I sometimes feel like yelling.

“You’re not even showing,” they tell me – and I know they mean well. When the time comes that I look like I’ve swallowed a beach ball, I’ll be glad for the days when I “wasn’t even showing.”

Truth is, I weigh more than I’ve ever weighed in my life. My belly has definitely expanded. Baby jabs at me day in and day out. What do you mean I’m not even showing?

What makes it even odder is how those who know me well are absolutely certain that I AM showing. My sister tells me “Anyone who knows how stable your weight is has to know that you’ve been gaining.”

Which is probably what explains things. Those who know me and have seen me regularly know that this current weight, this current distribution of weight is far from normal for me – those who don’t see just an average looking woman (not necessarily a pregnant one.)

As frustrating as it can be to be disbelieved when I announce that I’m due in December, it really came in handy with one client I saw last week.

Now, I generally don’t discuss my own pregnancy with clients. They’re in my office to discuss their pregnancies – and while my own pregnancy can help me empathize, that doesn’t mean that they need to (or want to) know the details of my pregnancy.

But this young woman was in the first trimester of her first pregnancy and was nearly thrown into a panic when her friend told her she didn’t look pregnant.

I tried to reassure her that every woman is different and shows at different times – but that many women don’t show until the fourth month or so, especially in their first pregnancy.

My client tried to believe me, I could tell, but she was still worried.

I stood up and smoothed my skirt over my bump.

“I don’t know if you could tell,” I told her, “but I’m in my fifth month.”

Her jaw dropped open and she gasped. “You don’t LOOK pregnant,” she said.

Exactly my point.

She got it – and told me before she left that she’s looking forward to seeing me again once I do start showing.

Categories What's on Your Nightstand?

Nightstand (August 2014)

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This month’s nightstand is pretty disorganized because… I’m not sure exactly why. But does it really matter? Suffice to say that you’re getting photos of the books I currently have out of the library, but they’re not in any specific order. I’ve started some, browsed others, and haven’t looked at still others. I might read some of them before next month. I might not.

This month, I read:

  • The Wonder Years by Tanya Remer Altmann (editor)
    The American Academy of Pediatrics guide to your baby, toddler, and preschooler’s development. Overall, a fascinating book and one I greatly appreciate since I get a lot of moms asking me “is this normal?” (Of course, I only reassure if I know for sure that it is normal – and encourage them to talk to their child’s doctor if they have concerns.) On the other hand, this book could have been copy-edited much better – there were several distracting incidents of subject/verb disagreement that rather drove me nuts. Also, the section on ADHD was laughable. The author declares that there is no objective way to diagnose ADHD but then declares that “it is a biological disorder.” Really? That’s very confidence inspiring. (Not that I don’t think there isn’t any such thing as ADHD, but without some sort of objective criterion and biological mechanism, I find it hard to announce that it is biological. I suppose in some ways, it might be similar to depression, which many state is a biological disorder based on the knowledge that certain drugs can help it – but at least there’s an objective criterion my doctor uses to determine whether I’m experiencing major depression or not before he prescribes my drugs.)
  • Behold Williamsburg by Samuel Chamberlain
    Photos and commentary on Colonial Williamsburg from the 1940s. I can’t wait to go and see how things have changed and stayed the same!
  • He Who Saw Everything: The Epic of Gilgamesh retold by Anita Feagles
    A children’s version of the tale, published in 1966, this retelling features occasional friezes and occasional folded paper illustrations in the Sumerians style. It’s interesting how the author chooses to tell the particularly lascivious parts of the story story. Makes me wonder how I would retell the story if I ever decide to act on the idea I had to retell some myths (and have my talented sister-in-law illustrate them.)
  • Cousin Kate by Georgette Heyer
    Another delightful Heyer title – this one with some Gothic overtones. I enjoyed the story of an independent but destitute niece gone off to live with her benevolent but secretive aunt only to discover that something is definitely amiss in the ancient household.
  • The Insider’s Guide to Williamsburg and Virginia’s Historic Triangle
    Getting excited for this trip!
  • Don’t Throw that Out! A Pennywise Parent’s Guide to Creative Uses for Over 200 Household Items by Vicky Lansky
    As if I needed any encouragement to not discard something potentially reusable. Honestly, there were maybe a handful of decent reuses for stuff that would otherwise be trash – most were “turn on the vacuum to get baby to sleep” kinda stuff. Meh.
  • What to Expect when You’re Expecting by Heidi Murkoff
    Interminably long, generally dry, biased toward medicated birth. There are better general introductions to pregnancy, even if this is the most popular.
  • Parenting Magazine’s Baby Must-Haves
    Another groan-inducing volume for inducing parents to buy way too much for their new baby.

Books out of the library this month

Working on:

  • The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoeyevsky
    Reading along with the Reading to Know Classics Book Club – and definitely not going to finish anytime this month.
  • Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel
    Almost done reading this and discussing it with my sister-in-law. Lots of thought-provoking material.
  • 1628 Country Shortcuts from 1628 Country People by Roy Reiman
    Because I like that sort of thing.

Books out of the library this month

On the docket for next month:

  • The Princess and the Goblin by George MacDonald
    I’m hosting September’s Reading to Know classics book club selection – and I’m delighted that we’ll be reading George MacDonald’s The Princess and the Goblin. After so much pregnancy reading (and while I’m working my way through the rest of Brother’s Karamazov), it’ll be nice to relax with a meaningful children’s fantasy. I hope many more of you join me this month at Reading to Know!

Don’t forget to drop by 5 Minutes 4 Books to see what others are reading this month!

What's on Your Nightstand?

Categories Everyday Life, Reflections

Am I becoming boring?

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Blogging becomes increasingly hard – not because I don’t have anything to say, but because I fear I don’t have anything to say that anyone wants to read.

My days feel one dimensional – all caught up in pregnancy and work, work and pregnancy.

I go to work – where I talk to pregnant women, breastfeeding women, mothers of young children. I teach them how to be healthy during pregnancy, breastfeeding, feeding a family. I come home from work – where I try to be healthy during my own pregnancy. I retreat to the basement where it’s cooler for my evening workout. I grab a book and read more about healthy pregnancy, healthy delivery. I talk to my husband and fear I’m becoming a broken record, telling yet another story about how the book I’m reading is wrong about pregnancy nutrition or about how the clients I see don’t get it until I explain it to them a different way or how frustrated I am that I’m not the superwoman I wish I was.

Even the non-pregnancy related stuff finds a way to revolve around pregnancy.

Getting laundry done becomes all about making sure there are enough underwear that fit (I’ve graduated to men’s boxer briefs – which are much more comfortable than ladies underthings). It’s all about which dresses still fit my figure.

Cooking revolves around pregnancy – both my energy levels related to pregnancy and alternately trying and not trying to fit my intake into the ridiculous “Brewer diet” encouraged by the Bradley method. I spend way too much of my days internally grumbling about the diet, about how I’m going to gain too much weight because of it, and how it’s so darn much work. And I grumble more because even though I’m not a preschooler, I still want stickers for a job well done – even when I know as a dietitian that the Bradley prescribed diet is far from healthy for pregnancy.

Reading is all about pregnancy, childbirth, baby care. Crafting is preparing baby stuff.

And I wonder – if I’m already becoming this boring *before* the baby comes and I’ve quit my job, what will I be like as a housewife?

I fear more than just boring others. What if I become so myopic that I bore even myself?

It’s exciting and it’s scary, this new season we’re entering into.