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Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: Negative Edition

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Today I’m thankful…

  • for NOT oversleeping this morning, despite staying up way too late last night
  • for NOT waking up with the same horrible headache I had yesterday
  • for NOT running out of gas, despite letting my gas tank get MUCH lower than normal
  • for NOT being late to class, despite leaving myself little extra time
  • for NOT get drenched on my walk to class

And I’m thankful for a few positives, too. Today, I’m also thankful…

  • for a call from a potential roommate (and she has an “A” name, how perfect!)
  • for the opportunity to be in journal club (I had SO much fun today!)
  • for getting some SERIOUS studying in for the RD exam (reviewed all the macronutrient and vitamin digestion, absorption, and metabolism pathways)
  • for uploading some more blog posts to WordPress (now I’ve got all the blog posts uploaded back to February 2009)
Categories Reflections

Short of humility

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Every so often, I’m tempted to get a big head. Like when yet another woman from my department remarks on what a great teacher I am. Like when the guy in front of me in biochemistry thinks I’m a Ph.D. student. Like when another classmate in biochem thinks I’m a professor (really?)

Then I try to take a more objective look at things. So I’m a good teacher. Maybe I am. But it’s not by any personal merit. I love teaching, I love the material, I love imparting knowledge. It makes me come alive. But this is what teaching does to me, not what I do to it.

And why would people think I’m so much smarter than I am? No idea. But it’s just an illusion. I look put together. I sound like I know what I’m talking about. I ask questions to clarify what the professor said to make sure that I’m understanding the information correctly. Not that I’m actually that smart. A Ph.D? Even a Ph.D. student?

Not that I haven’t thought about it. But, truth is, I’m a (2nd year) Master’s student who’s currently overwhelmed by school and hasn’t even written her thesis proposal.

In the euphoria of teaching, I consider the further education to be just a tiny hurdle to overcome. But when I come off the buzz, even just finishing my master’s seems insurmountable.

The thousand dreams compete with one another for first place, and I think in a moment of stillness: maybe I’ll just drop out of school and get married and spend the next ten years barefoot and pregnant.

Problem is, I want to do that and STILL have the master’s degree, and get to teach, and run a church-based community center, and have a ginormous library, and write the great American novel, and bike across the state of Nebraska, and be a world traveler, and be a lactation consultant, and be a doula, and be a player in the political scene, and, and, and…

I’m caught in the difficult middle between a fierce pride that wants to do everything well and a false modesty that states that I do nothing so well as I’d like.

C.S. Lewis suggested that a truly humble man would be quite unprepossessing, not at all interested in what others thought of him, far more interested in others themselves. I am definitely not that humble man. I care way too much about where I fall on my own and others’ charts. I’m proud to have topped theirs, humiliated that I have fallen so short of my own. Neither is anywhere near humility.

Categories Technology

Version 9

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I have discovered php and it is AMAZING!

Too bad this web design stuff doesn’t really tie into my profession that much, ’cause I’m really building my arsenal.

I’m proficient in HTML and CSS, can do a smattering of xHTML and Javascript, and am in the process of learning PHP.

A classmate asked me on Thursday why I kept calling myself a nerd (apart from the obvious: annually celebrating Bilbo and Frodo’s birthday.)

I threw out a few things (copious reading, blog keeping, etc.)–but here’s another piece of proof: I just spent over two hours searching through the script for my new PHP driven web-design to find the bug that was messing up my formatting.

I found the bug–finally!–so now Version 9 is rolling out.

Of course, like with the many versions before, the roll-out may be slow. I only have so many hours in the day to work on things (and I shouldn’t GENERALLY be up at 2:45 am still working on web design!)

But the amazing power of PHP is that it should be a snap to adjust to version 10 if and when it comes out. (I wouldn’t hold my breath for that one!)

So, having shared the latest evidence of my nerdiness (and some really cute pics of me as a baby), I will bid you goodnight!

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday

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Today I’m thankful:

  • for Liz for agreeing to grade this second round of papers (so I can hopefully study for my RD exam)
  • for Dr. Miner for letting me turn in my biochemistry paper a little late
  • for Dr. Lewis and all my classmates for all their kind words when I came in to class yesterday an hour late and decidedly sick (as in: sniffling, raspy, and not very talkative–but I didn’t have a fever, so I wasn’t sure that I should just skip)
  • for Dr. Jones for telling me to go home when she heard me. Not having to attend her lecture meant I could get my biochem paper finished this evening.

I’m also thankful:

  • that I got to celebrate Frodo and Bilbo’s birthday yesterday with Joanna
  • that my roommate and I BOTH went grocery shopping yesterday, so I had a good excuse to make myself some poached eggs in milk over toast (now that I ate two eggs and a couple cups of milk, we have two dozen eggs and two gallons of milk in our fridge)
  • that my room is still tolerably clean despite my recent tendency to emotional breakdowns
  • that I found a nice cheap hand mixer at the used store today

And then there are the not-so-quantifiable things I’m thankful for:

  • That God is sovereign over my schedule, the RD exam, my thesis proposal (which I’m going to have to write someday here)
  • That God is faithful to provide whatever I need (money, a new roommate, more time, wisdom, the list seems to go on and on)
  • That God is merciful when I blow it one more time
Categories Reflections

My car is an audio-terrorist

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My car has a convenient automatic-lock-feature, with a not-so-convenient side feature. Say I’m getting out of my car in the Walmart parking lot and want to make sure my doors are all locked. So I open my door, get out, lean over, and push the automatic lock button on the inside of the door. Then I shut the door.

And my car honks its horn.

It drives me nuts. It’s absolutely pointless. And horn-honking is by far the most inappropriately used noise on earth. A horn is intended for one purpose and one purpose only: to get someone’s attention in order to avoid a collision. Despite the common usage of horns, they are not supposed to be used to convey your frustration with another driver, to get the attention of the person beside you so that you can wave at one another, or to leer at a walking female. And they DEFINITELY should not be used to say “Hey, I just locked my doors.”

The term “audio-terrorist” (so far as I know) was coined by my father years ago in reference to the unhappy habit several of us children possess: the habit of making noise that is absolutely bereft of meaning. “Audio-terrorism” is making noise for the sake of making noise. The term encompasses beatboxing, singing at the table, randomly clapping one’s hands or tapping one’s fingernails, and a whole host of other noises. An “audio-terrorist” is one who participates in audio-terrorism.

As a recovering audio-terrorist, I never really understood how frustrating and truly terror-inducing audio-terrorism can be. At least, not until I bought a car that happens to be an audio-terrorist.

Now, I live in fear of accidentally unleashing my car’s terrorism act on the world. I go to great lengths to avoid audio-terrorism. I do the auto-lock BEFORE opening the door. That way I know all the doors are locked. Then I have only to unlock my own door, get out, and re-lock my door. Or I circle my car, unlocking each door despite the presence of the auto-lock button.

The worst thing, though, is when I supervise a new driver and forget to warn them not to hit the auto lock button. The horn goes off and I feel as though I’ve unwittingly started a Madrasa of audio-terrorism training. I’m afraid that they’ll get the impression that it’s “cool” to honk for no reason. I’m afraid I’ve accidentally pushed these children towards this practice I have come to abhor: audio-terrorism.

Categories Simple Sunday

Simple Sunday: Stan and Carolyn

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~Thankful for the couple who has remained faithful in our congregation. Stan and Carolyn were invited to our church many (15-20) years ago because the church leadership felt a need for older couples in our church. They felt that we had a dearth of wisdom and experience–so they approached Stan and Carolyn to provide that wisdom and experience. Now, even when many of those leaders have left our church body, Stan and Carolyn are still here–years wiser and still eager to serve. What a blessing to the body!

Visit Davene at Life on Sylvan Drive for more Simple Sunday posts.

Categories Thankful Thursday

Reviving Thankful Thursday

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As I have found myself slipping again into a pit of discontent, I feel it might be worthwhile to revive last year’s “Thankful Thursday” (which I wrote exactly one day less than one year ago, coincidentally.) It does me well to reflect on the goodness of God.

Today I’m thankful…

  • That I knew at least SOME of the questions on my biochemistry test. Depending on how he grades, I might do decently.
  • That I was able to get an interview with the dietitian at Matt Talbot Kitchen & Outreach. We did double duty as she manned a stand at one of the Community Crops Farmer’s Markets.
  • That I ran into Karen from NEP (Nutrition Education Program) at the market today. It was so nice to catch up with her.
  • That Anna decided to leave us some cups. Looking at my possessions sans what Anna’s taking to her new place, it seems we won’t have to buy near as much as we expected. (As of right now, it looks like our main “wish list” is silverware, plates, knives, handheld mixer, iron, and ironing board–If you have any that you’re longing to get rid of, keep Casandra and I in mind!)
  • That Dad offered to let me practice on “William” whenever I’d like. Anna’s taking her piano with her–and when Dad saw me today, he came over to give me a hug and “console me over the loss of a piano.” He then assured me that I could play William (my parents’ upright grand) whenever I’d like. What’s more, since I live in the same neighborhood as they do, I actually might be able to take them up on the offer.
  • That I don’t have to go anywhere tomorrow. I feel the need for a veg–and it just so happens that the other TA is teaching the lecture tomorrow and told me she doesn’t care if I come. I won’t be going.
Categories Works for Me Wednesday

Works for Me Wednesday: Home Habits

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I started “fluttering” with Flylady over a year ago. I’m still barely fluttering–certainly not flying–and I’ve taken plenty of nose-dives along the way.

But one thing has stayed with me. I’ve started developing little habits–some official “FlyLady” habits, others my own–that go a LONG way toward maintaining personal order.

First, I ALWAYS lay out my clothes every evening and I ALWAYS get fully dressed (all the way to shoes) when I first get up in the morning. With my clothes all on, I feel ready to get started on my day–and am less tempted to do something like, well, crawl back in bed to read a book! Also, setting out my clothes the night before leaves me with that much less early-morning stress–especially on those days I sleep longer than I intended and find myself in a time crunch to get to work or classes.

Second, I always make my bed the moment I get out of it. Actually, I tend to make my bed before I even get out. I pull up the covers, make sure they’re relatively straight, and then slide right out. All I have to do is straighten a bit and tuck in any loose corners and I’m ready to go. Keeping my bed made means I feel like I have some order in my life–even when everything else is chaos! Instant sanity saver.

Third, I always close my closet door as soon as I’m done in the closet. It sounds like a simple thing because it is a simple thing. But it has enormous effects. With that simple act of closing the closet door, I have established another oasis of order (or at least seeming order) within my room. It enables me to rest in peace!

Maybe these particular habits aren’t for you (although once you give them a try, you might find yourself hooked!) Maybe your habits should be preparing lunches the night before or wiping out the sink after you brush your teeth or keeping mail off the kitchen table. But, regardless of what YOUR specific habits end up being, I can almost guarantee that developing simple daily home habits can help you along the way to peaceful, productive living. They certainly work for me.

Check out more “Works for Me Wednesday” posts at We are THAT Family.

Categories Everyday Life

As a driver, I’m far from perfect.

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Everybody makes mistakes while driving. Everybody does dumb things– sometimes by accident, sometimes by design.

But when you decide to run a red light and almost hit the person across from you who’s clearing the lane? Don’t you dare honk at them.

You’ve just officially gone from dumb to idiot.

I often choose to not get riled over traffic issues–getting cut off, having someone in front of me who’s not paying attention to the road, whatever–by reminding myself that I’ve unintentionally done the same thing. And by reminding myself of how embarrassed and remorseful I am when I’ve done such a thing–I just wish I could tell the driver I cut off how sorry I am. It serves me well to assume the best of the drivers around me. I stay calm, my blood pressure stays low. All is well.

But when someone disobeys the law and then has the audacity to get upset at the ones they could have killed in their recklessness? There’s no excuse for that kind of behavior.