Recap (2015/06/13)

In my spirit:

  • Reading and studying 1 Thessalonians – the Thessalonians get a bad rap from that “Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica” verse (Acts 17:11). The Jews of Thessalonica were hostile to the gospel, but God was still doing a wonderful work in Thessalonica, such that all the surrounding areas heard of the believers’ faith and were encouraged. That’s cool stuff.
  • Trying to be aware of how the enemy can use my emotions (through dreams) to impact my attitudes – and praying that I would be transformed by the renewal of my mind (Romans 12:2).
  • Thankful for the Titus 2 Women God has brought into my life, including a bloggy friend

In the living room:

  • I finally decided that I need to catalog my books so I can shop wisely at the used store – and I found a nice app that allows me to scan barcodes to enter (which means entering my first 120 books has been a snap, accomplished in just a few 5 minute segments)
  • Daniel and I watched The Bad and the Beautiful last night. I didn’t expect serious from a movie starring Lana Turner, but it turned out to be quite a drama about a cut-throat Hollywood producer. I enjoyed it.

In the kitchen:

  • A couple weeks ago, I resolved to not throw away food – we’ve done pretty well except for some bread, some strawberries, and some grapes, all of which went moldy.
  • On the other hand, I’m going crazy improvising new salads along old lines to use up bits of this and that – and really liked the results:
    • Improvised corn salad: Frozen corn, rough chopped fresh tomatoes, rough chopped avocado, finely diced red onion, and diced fresh zucchini drizzled with olive oil and lemon juice.
    • Improvised Caprese salad: Rough chopped fresh tomatoes, rough chopped fresh mango, rough chopped fresh strawberries, finely chopped fresh basil, a little feta cheese and a little Monterey Jack cheese drizzled with balsamic vinegar.
  • The sourdough starter I began last month is going strong and in the fridge, and I think I’ve maybe arrived at a good basic bread recipe using it.

In the nursery:

  • We have a roller. While Tirzah Mae has been rolling for a fair while now, this week she figured out that she can use it to transport herself anywhere – and she does, generally to the nearest source of paper (food, right?)
  • Avocado is officially the first food Tirzah Mae didn’t make faces for on first taste. (She’s now had bananas, peas, applesauce, nectarines, pears, strawberries, sweet potatoes, white potatoes, oatmeal, and i-don’t-remember-what-else.)
  • I’m not sure whether she’s coming down with something or if she’s teething or what – but the last couple of days have been pretry intense. She wants to eat (or at least be at the breast) every five minutes and won’t sleep more than a half hour at a time. Daniel paced with her for an hour and a half last night when she woke up screaming and wouldn’t take the breast.

In the craft room:

  • Nothing this week – see “In the nursery” :-)

In the library:
aka “Books added to TBR list”

In the garden:

  • I have officially learned that I should have put up my trellis BEFORE I planted. I finally gave up trying to put it on top of my raised bed and have satisfied myself with aligning it alongside the long edge – so my cucumbers and tomatoes will just have to lean a foot or so to reach the trellis
  • I’ve had to water this week for the first time all season. But it’s rained again the last couple of days – so who knows.

On the web:

  • 20 Thoughts on Honeymoon Sex for Virgins – I know it’s probably not applicable to my (mostly married) readers, but I thought this was an excellent article and one worth jotting down for if engaged friends ever ask for resources.
  • Finding Time to Read the Bible – Barbara gives excellent tips – useful for busy moms, caretakers, or really anyone.
  • Are You Letting Your Kids Walk All Over You? – This is something I see frequently, oftentimes excused as being “grace-filled” or “focusing on the important things”, but Jess makes an excellent point that moms are teaching their children how to treat others by how they do or do not let their children treat them. (If her honeymoon sex article is “file away to share with others”, this is “file away for when I need it.”)
  • Where Faith Goes to Die – An reflection on seminary and ecclesiastical meetings:

    But when the seminary’s subject matter is the sovereign, gracious Savior; when the primary textbook his living Word; and when that Word is taught and received by Christians who love and desire above all else to glorify the risen Christ – that kind of theological educational experience sings (sometimes literally!).”

May we all love and desire above all else to glorify the risen Christ – and may that cause us to dive deep into His word and to sing out His praises!


Book Review: Isle of Swords by Wayne Thomas Batson

“It’s an allegory of spiritual warfare,” they told me, when I questioned them about the book on the ledge in front of them.

“Okay,” I nodded. “Is it kinda like Frank Peretti’s stuff? Is there an author I’d recognize that he’s like?”

Their mother interjected, “I don’t know that you kids have read any Frank Peretti.”

I laughed, realizing I was dating myself – I was reading Frank Peretti two decades ago.

They suggested C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia as similar books.

I took their recommendation and checked Isle of Swords out of the church library.

It reminded me of Frank Peretti’s “Cooper Kids Adventure series”, which I read, well, 20 years ago. It did not at all remind me of C.S. Lewis.

Then again, I realized about halfway through that this title wasn’t a part of the trilogy they’d be recommending (Most likely “The Door Within Trilogy”). Reading the descriptions of Batson’s other books, I can see that this is certainly less allegorical than that series, although still a bit supernatural.

Isle of Swords tells the story of Captain Declan Ross, a sailor forced into piracy by a dearth of jobs after his stint in the Irish navy was over. He wants to get out of piracy, especially because his daughter Anne has decided the pirate’s life is the life for her – and he knows his dead wife would not approve. Getting out of piracy might be a hard task though, especially since he managed to raise the ire of Bartholomew Thorne, the most fearsome pirate on the sea. He might be lucky if he gets out with his life.

Nevertheless, he offers shelter to a badly beaten boy and then to a mysterious monk. As it turns out, these two might just hold the key to the treasure Ross needs to break free.

But Bartholomew Thorne wants the treasure – and Ross’s two refugees – too. Will the monk be able to lead Ross to claim the treasure of Constantine before Thorne gets him? Will the boy ever discover his identity? Will Anne be stuck in piracy as well?

I had a difficult time getting into this book at first – the first two chapters are backstory of a sort and served only to confuse me. I would have greatly preferred that the author had started with chapter three, giving the information in the first two chapters as flashbacks if needed (which I rather doubt.) Nevertheless, once I got past those first few chapters, I was pulled into the story and found it to be fun and engaging, even if it isn’t groundbreaking.

Published by Thomas Nelson, this is a clean book although only nominally Christian. Ross is a “noble pirate” who doesn’t kill needlessly or torture or take slaves – but he isn’t a believer (obviously). The story involves the purported treasure of Constantine, stolen from the Catholic church centuries ago, but stolen back by a group of priests who now guard it, using the treasure judiciously to fund mission work. These priests are regarded as holy men and one of them figures prominently in this story – but their Christianity seems merely a backdrop to the adventurous plot.

Nevertheless, parents could feel comfortable letting their early teens read this book, I think. It’s not a bad story and is entertaining.

Now, to find the series my young friends were actually recommending :-)


Rating: 3 stars
Category: Adventure novel
Synopsis: Declan Ross vows to protect a priest, who will give him a share of the legendary treasure of Constantine – but can he escape the dangerous pirate Bartholomew Thorne, who has a grudge against Ross and a hankering for the same treasure?
Recommendation: Clean, engaging, but not particularly groundbreaking. If you’re into adventure stories, it’s a decent one – otherwise, it’s nothing special.


Thankful Thursday: Friends

Thankful Thursday banner

Facebook informed me that National Best Friends Day was earlier this week – about the same time I was posting my rather self-pitying review of Nesting: It’s a Chick Thing, bemoaning my lack of friends.

And yes, it is true that I have not formed close friendships since moving to Wichita. I have met people, established some relationships – but haven’t developed those close, heart to heart, friendships I covet.

Even so, I am reminded this week of God’s mercy in what friendships I do have – and in the regular possibility of forming new friendships.

This week I’m thankful…

…for girly stuff with the girls
We generally all hang out as a group – several couples and a few single men. We enjoy Rachel’s happy food or Amy and Brian’s game days. But this time, Rachel and Amy decided to do a girl’s day. We enjoyed female fellowship, made roller bottles of essential oil blends, and ate girly food. It was a wonderfully relaxing morning.

…for fellowship with Matt and Megan and the opportunity to help them
Megan and I were due within a week of each other – except Megan went full term. We enjoyed comparing pregnancy stories and newborn stories, enjoying the similarities and differences between our daughters. Now their family is headed out of town, onto different things. We caught up a little before they left and had opportunity to help them pack some stuff up and clean the home they’re vacating. God has been good to give us their friendship thus far – and we pray God will bless them where they are now.

…for sitting with Alexa and DJ at church
We’ve seen them from the balcony a few times but haven’t been able to catch them at the end of services. But this time we passed each other the day before and determined to sit together. I’m glad to know they are well.

…for a girl who is eager to know us
We’ve sat near this family for months now, have greeted one another during the greeting time and sometimes talked before the service. I want to get to know the family better – they remind me of my own family when we kids were all still at home. But it’s awkward, trying to get connected. Sometimes I can feel discouraged, like connection (with them or other families) will never happen. But then the oldest daughter nearly runs over to talk with Tirzah Mae and I and I feel encouraged – we will develop friendships with families. It may take a while, but it will happen.

…for lunch with Dave and Kasey
It’s been a while since we caught up with their family and had lunch after church – but we did this week. With a few family members off on missions trips, the group was much smaller and more intimate than usual – allowing for good conversation among the whole crowd.

…for Tuesday Connection
This summer’s Bible study is populated largely by young moms – and while I don’t want to ONLY know other young moms, it is nice to meet more people who are at the same life-stage as I.

…for good conversation at Happy Food
Happy Food is always enjoyable. The food is always delicious, the conversation usually stimulating. But sometimes I engage more in true relationship and sometimes not. This week, I was reminded to be intentional about asking people about their lives instead of only engaging in the intellectual or witty repartee that is so common (and entertaining). It was good to hear of Rachel’s plans, to better know how to pray for and to encourage her.

…for hanging out with a new friend and her family
We met after Bible study a couple weeks ago and her kids were enthralled with Tirzah Mae. She invited me over – I accepted and we arranged a time. And it was delicious, just spending a leisurely afternoon chatting and playing.

Maybe I don’t have the deep friendships I long for (yet), but God has blessed me richly. And even when I haven’t had such a full life of human friendships, I’ve always had the friendship that endures:

“What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer”

Thank you, Lord, for demonstrating your friendship by laying down your life for me while I was yet an enemy. And thank you, Lord, for demonstrating your kindness by bringing these many other friends into my life.


Don’t try too hard

Imagine having your boss greet you in the morning with: “Don’t try too hard to get things done today.”

What would you think of your boss? What would you think of your place of employment?

If you heard that someone else’s boss greeted them with that, what would you think of their boss? What would you think of their place of employment?

I think of city road maintenance crews. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how their bosses greet them every morning. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a road maintenance crew try too hard to get things done. And everyone knows (right?) that government agencies have to use up their full budget by the end of the year in order to get a full budget for the next – so it’s in a government boss’s interest to waste money.

Certainly, I never heard that from my bosses when I worked in the private sector.

But, honestly, I’ve never heard that from my public sector bosses either.

No.

Bosses are interested in getting value out of their employees. They want their employees to work hard and get things done.

Sure, some bosses are better at motivating their employees to work hard and to accomplish things – but no employer would go so far as to tell their employees not to try too hard to get things done.

Except my boss right now.

My husband is not interested in getting as much hard work out of me as possible. That isn’t his goal for our home.

I’m not at home so I can be hyperproductive, so our home can be immaculate, so I can finish a to-do list a mile long. I’m not at home so my husband can arrive home to a harried, exhausted wife who is frustrated with not meeting her expectations of the ideal housewife. I’m not at home to be frustrated at our daughter for keeping me from completing my to-do list.

I’m not a homemaker so I can “get things done.”

Does that mean my husband was encouraging me to lie in bed all day long, to not rinse and wash the diapers, to not make him dinner, to not tidy the house? No. He was not encouraging me to idleness.

No, he was encouraging me to have perspective.

Because trying too hard to get things done makes me worse, not better, at my job.

It makes me impatient and unresponsive as a mother. It makes me frustrated and unhelpful as a wife. It makes our home a place of chaotic frenzy instead of peaceful rest.

Right now, I am called to fulfill a role (or several roles), not merely to complete tasks.

Which means I need to listen to my boss when he tells me not to try too hard to get things done. I need to stop and consider what is really important.


Book Review: Nesting: It’s a Chick Thing by Ame Mahler Beanland & Emily Miles Terry

Do you love to decorate, entertain, cook, and garden – all with a half dozen of your best friends in tow? Do you adore coming up with excuses for getting your girlfriends together to paint (nails or walls) and drink (wine or girlie drinks)? Do you like reading about the domestic arts?

Then you might like Nesting: It’s a Chick Thing by Ame Marhler Beanland & Emily Miles Terry.

Apparently, the authors have another book called It’s a Chick Thing: Celebrating the Wild Side of Women’s Friendship, and this is a riff on that.

I didn’t know this when I picked up this book. Didn’t know that a large focus of this book would be girlfriends.

I didn’t particularly enjoy that part.

I’ve had friends over the years, but close friends have been few and far between. I love entertaining “the girls” when I’ve got “the girls” to entertain. I like homemaking – it’s my full-time job just now – but I don’t really do it with anyone else.

Now is a rather solitary season for me, a fact that is melancholy when I think of it – and which is probably why I prefer not to think of it. This book didn’t allow me that luxury.

So, if you’re me, this is probably not the best option for you.

If, on the other hand, you’re eager to hear little anecdotes about a variety of women’s homemaking lives and how they do life along with their friends, or if you’re looking for new party ideas for girlfriend get-togethers, this might be an enjoyable book for you.

It’s an eclectic book in four parts covering four aspects of homemaking: decorating, entertaining, cooking, and gardening. It contains stories from the authors as well as excerpts from dozens of different women on each of the topics. It also contains craft ideas, recipes, suggestions for parties, and little blurbs on finding your gardening style or your man’s entertaining style. Vintage photos with snarky captions are sprinkled throughout.

It’s the sort of thing I generally enjoy, apart from the girlfriend aspect – but, in this case, the girlfriend aspect had it falling flat for me.

Maybe it’ll appeal to you more.


Rating: 2 stars
Category: Women’s Interest: Homemaking
Synopsis: Anecdotes and ideas from homemaking women – all about homemaking with your girlfriends.
Recommendation: Eh. I didn’t particularly care for it, but others might.


I don’t comment like I used to

The advent of smart phones has brought with it plenty of advantages. My smart phone means I rarely double book myself, I always have my price book/grocery list handy, and I can pull up my weight history or blood pressure history at the doctor’s office without a problem.

On the other hand, it has affected how I use social media – and blogs.

Facebook’s app made it way too easy to spend hours on Facebook, since it would give me frequent notifications that my sisters-in-law had posted new photos of nieces or nephews. I would get onto Facebook to see the photos and end up spending another 15 minutes just scrolling through my newsfeed – multiple times a day.

Eventually, I decided to uninstall the app. I still access Facebook on my phone, but I do it through the browser. I visit when I choose to, instead of when a notification tells me to. I still see the notifications once I get to the website, so I don’t miss anything – I just choose when I’m going to see them (and how many times a day I’m going to waste time browsing.)

I still probably overuse Facebook on my phone, but it’s better than it used to be.

But what concerns me now isn’t my on-phone Facebook usage or the amount of time I spend connecting via Facebook.

What concerns me is my on-phone blog-reading – and how the phone experience keeps me from connecting when I’m reading.

You see, before social media became a big thing, there was this little thing called blogging. I did it. Lots of people did it. We wrote “posts” on our “blogs”. We read other people’s “posts” and we left “comments”. When other people read our “comments”, they visited our “blogs” and read our “posts” and left “comments” of their own. We developed relationships through this mutual sharing.**

This was what I did.

And then the phone came along.

It was a boon to blog reading, with it’s available-everywhere-Feedly app. I could read in the car (while Daniel is driving, of course), in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, while sitting on the loo (yes, you do it too.)

But it was a death-knell to commenting. To comment, I’d need to click on the title, wait while the browser opens, scroll down to the comment box, attempt to type a comment, and try to get past my phone auto-correcting the word-verification caption. All this with an oversized finger on a tiny screen.

Then there’s trying to continue the conversation. I subscribe to the comments feed on each post I comment on because I want to hear if the author says something back or if another commenter riffs on the same topic. It’s a way to be a part of the conversation. But to do that on the phone, I’d have to try to find the RSS feed, try to copy the URL, switch from the browser app to the Feedly app, and try to paste the URL into the subscribe area in the Feedly app. All this with an oversized finger on a tiny screen.

So I read my usual blogs and think of all sorts of things I’d love to chat with the blogger about via comments. I mark the post “unread” in Feedly, figuring I’ll go back and comment when I’m on the computer. But there’s rarely enough time to go back – and when there is time, it’s weeks later and the post is old and conversation no longer happening.

I don’t comment like I used to – and I think it’s sad.


**Side note: Was this explanation necessary? I’m not sure. As I observe it, blogging has a very different character nowadays than it did when I first started. The blogging I see now tends towards selling stuff (even if that’s selling your own story) versus sharing life. Developing relationships through blogging seems much less common, while “networking” via blogging is perhaps more common. Blogging is a business venture rather than a friendship.**


Book Review: Sleep: The Brazelton Way by T. Berry Brazelton and Joshua D. Sparrow

Sleep is one of those things that I think each family has to figure out for themselves. Hundreds of rigid programs exist, but few (none?) are worth following to the letter. Because every baby is different. Every parent is different. Every situation is different.

I used to think I’d never bring a baby into my own bed. I value the intimacy of sharing a bed with my husband (only) too much.

Then we brought home a preemie who would only sleep on Daniel’s chest or mine. We’d trade off nights, Daniel staying awake on the couch with her on his chest, then me taking a turn. Except we got so exhausted with the routine that we were falling asleep with her on our chests. And whatever your views are on the safety of bed-sharing, there can be no mixed opinions about sofa-sleep sharing. It’s dangerous.

We didn’t feel comfortable with her sharing the same surface. I was pumping and fortifying breastmilk to be fed by bottle at that time – and that thing about exclusively breastfeeding mamas being biologically more in tune with their babies and non-exclusive mamas not as much? There’s good scientific evidence for it – and it held out in our experience. I totally could have rolled over on her. We got a guard rail for the bed and a box for her to sleep in next to me (against the rail). Once we were exclusively at the breast (and Tirzah Mae was growing too large for her box), we tried on the bed directly – and there was never a fear that I’d roll over on her. We were physiologically bound, cycling through sleep together. I was aware of her, yet not losing sleep.

But that didn’t mean I was willing to give up and just be a bed-sharer. At the beginning of March, I made getting her to sleep in her bassinet a goal. It was hard work. No longer right next to each other (I placed the bassinet at the foot of the bed), getting up with her became more disruptive to my sleep. It was easier to nurse and then fall asleep together without having to stay awake to put her back in her bassinet after nighttime feedings.

Then I started reading Sleep: The Brazelton Way. There are plenty of things I’m uncertain about regarding Brazelton’s “method” (he seems to think that spacing out feedings during the day helps a child sleep better at night, which I don’t understand philosophically and don’t really agree with nutritionally), but one thing in the “four month” sleep section ended up being an epiphany to me. Brazelton suggested that parents try “patting” their baby back to sleep during nighttime wakenings, not getting them up to eat. What? I thought. Tirzah Mae might not be hungry, might not need to get out of her bassinet at nighttime? I tested it out, patting her when she awoke during the night.

About three-quarters of the time, patting was enough. She settled back into sleep after minimal fussing – and I could go back to sleep too. The other quarter of the time? If she didn’t settle or started to cry, I got her out and fed her. Sometimes I stayed awake to put her back in the bassinet, sometimes I didn’t. But she was on her way to independent sleep.

**Regular readers will note that Tirzah Mae’s sleep took a turn for the worse at the beginning of April. That was majorly disruptive and she was NOT able to be soothed with patting. Now that she is sleeping better and is in her crib in her own room, she awakens much less frequently but generally needs to be fed at those awakenings.**

I have since finished Brazelton’s short volume (114 pages), in which Brazelton addresses a variety of sleep issues (that we aren’t dealing with).

Do I recommend Brazelton’s sleep program? No, I don’t. But I think I will recommend his book. Because I think that coming up with a sleep program that works for your own family involves collecting ideas and occasionally letting your assumptions be challenged and experimenting to find out what works for you. Brazelton’s book is a generally non-extreme resource for coming up with ideas and challenging assumptions.


Rating: 3 stars
Category: Baby Care
Synopsis: Discussion of a baby and young child’s sleep patterns and how parents can deal with common sleep issues.
Recommendation: Useful as a source of ideas, not particularly for a comprehensive “sleep program”.


Book Notes: Christy by Catherine Marshall

Nineteen year old Christy Huddleston wanted to make a difference, wanted to be someone. Someone beyond the daughter of a well-to-do businessman, that is. And when she heard a missionary speak of the needs among the Appalachians just hours away from her city, she was determined to go.

What she finds in Cutter Gap, Tennessee is even more foreign than she’d ever dreamed. She is full of grand plans for helping – but soon discovers that being “someone” and making a difference doesn’t necessarily mean what she thought it had.

This wasn’t my first reading of Catherine Marshall’s Christy. Anna and I owned a copy when we were teens and I know I read it at least once. I think I saw the TV miniseries too – although I might be getting it mixed up with Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman (I know, not at all similar). Needless to say, by now you probably realize that while I read it I really didn’t remember anything from it. I was glad when Stephanie from Simple Things selected Christy as May’s Reading to Know Classics Bookclub reading.

I enjoyed reading the ambitious Christy’s story, thinking back to my own ambitious teenaged and young adult plans for saving the world. I think the desire to make a difference, to be somebody is a common one. I also think that being disappointed with how your well-intentioned efforts turn out is also a common experience. I remember taking an impoverished middle schooler under my wing, determining to share the gospel with her and to train her into a godly girl. I drove her places, taught her how to do various crafts, studied the Bible with her. And I quickly became disillusioned when she and her family began to expect that I’d drive her places on a moment’s notice, wanted me to buy her things, and generally took advantage of my good intentions. I struggled to know what to do when I wanted so badly to help but it didn’t seem to be working the way I thought it would work.

How I wish I’d had someone like Christy’s Miss Alice to mentor me in the ways of giving myself away. I loved reading Marshall’s descriptions of Miss Alice – a woman whose theology I didn’t particularly agree with, but whose gentleness and devotion are absolutely praiseworthy. Miss Alice is described as pretty much a saint, although she avers that she is not, and even the sordid tale she eventually tells does little to sully her reputation. Yes, wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a saint who always knows the right thing to say and to do to mentor one along the way?

Alas, we are much more like Marshall’s other characters – flawed humans with quirks and quibbles and mixed motives.

Christy marvels, in one section, at one woman’s wisdom mixed with superstition. I do too.

Opal went closer to Bird’s-Eye, took his empty plate. “Looky-here, Bird’s-Eye, whilst you was fixin’ that fawn’s leg, you was a real man. You know that? It’s plumb foolish for you not to let more folks in the Cove see a heap more of that Bird’s-Eye. They have the wrong idea ’bout you.”

The man looked at her in genuine astonishment. “That must be woman tease-talk. Are you a-joshin’ me? Fixin’ animals’ legs ain’t no man’s work.”

“Fixin’ onything is man’s work,” came Opal’s firm answer. “Tearin’ down or killin’, that’s easy. Any addlepated fool kin pull the trigger of a rifle-gun or fling a rock. It’s fixin’ that’s hard, takes a heap more doin’.”

Listening to this, I could see again the baby girl’s tiny body lying in the middle of the big bed. How amazing that this homespun mending philosophy and the awful liver-grown superstition could be part of the same woman.

We humans are a mixed lot – with God’s image stamped on world-played clay. Try as she might to smooth the edges and impress them into a new mold, Christy never managed to truly change those she worked with. And neither can we.

The answer, of course, the way to truly make a difference is not in “fixing” or “cleaning up” but in the gospel – as Miss Alice admonished the young pastor David Grantland:

“Clean up a pigsty,” she commented one evening, “and if the creatures in it still have pig-minds and pig-desires, soon it will be the same old pigsty again. Preach the gospel, David, teach it, preach to the hearts of men. That’s your business. Then the fruits, including the reforms in other areas, will follow as fruits. But it’s no good tying apples onto a tree. Soon they’ll be rotting apples….The question at issue, David, is how to get rid of the evil in men. Attacking corruption in the environment won’t do it. That’s like cutting weeds in a field. In a fortnight the weeds will be grown again. And attacking the men themselves won’t work either. Whatever separates men from love can’t be of God.”

Though David was stubborn, at last humbly, he asked the question Miss Alice must have been wanting him to ask, “Well then, how can we deal with evil?”

“By demonstrating to the people a way that’s more powerful than evil. And that’s good news! Let’s get on with living and teaching and preaching that good news with all the verve and enthusiasm we have.”

“Then,” David said, “if that’s the technique, why aren’t people changed more drastically by today’s preaching?”

“Could be because we don’t often have the courage to give the good news to people straight. Most of us are still talking religious theory that we haven’t begun living, and talking in worn-out cliches at that. A watered-down message is as futile as applying rose water to a cancer. When you heart is ablaze with the love of God, when you love other people – especially the ripsnorting sinners – so much that you dare to tell them about Jesus with no apologies, then never fear, there will be results. One of two things will happen. Either there’ll be persecutions, or the fire will leap from your heart to catch and blaze in the depths of other men’s being. I’ve watched the process over and over. And then when the blaze starts, the reforms will follow as surely as the flower follows the bud, or the fruit comes after the blossom on the tree.”

“It’s too slow a way.”

“No David, it isn’t too slow a way. The other is no way at all.”

Amen and amen.

This girl, at nineteen, dreamed of making a difference, of being someone. Life has taught her that her grand dreams don’t necessarily produce grand outcomes. But Miss Alice’s charge echoes in this woman’s heart, reminds her that the gospel is the only way to make a difference, that losing oneself for the gospel is the only way to be someone.

May I have a heart ablaze, a tongue unstopped, a love unfettered – a life that would make a difference.


Check out what other readers are saying about Christy at the May Bookclub wrap-up post


The End of Myself

Desperation.

That’s what I felt as Tirzah Mae’s not sleeping at night approached two months.

Would she ever sleep through the night again? Would my “good” baby, who never cried unless she needed something, ever return?

Despite the doctor’s ultimate diagnosis of colic as the source of her crying and frequent night waking (in other words, “crying for no understandable reason”), I was convinced there was something causing her crying. Yes, we ruled out GERD when two weeks of medication had no effect. But prior to this, Tirzah Mae never cried unless she needed something: she was hungry, she was dirty, she was overtired, she was in pain.

As I got up with her yet again, bleary eyed and exhausted from two months of rarely finishing a sleep cycle and from the effort of cleaning up a filthy mobile home while my own home slipped back into chaos, I was absolutely desperate.

I made a plan to do what I’d been toying with for weeks – I’d go to the pharmacy, pick up every scientifically suspect remedy. Gripe water. Simethicone. Homeopathic remedies.

I was willing to throw away my scientific dogmatism, to do anything, however contrary to my training and philosophy, if only it would help.

That’s when, in desperation, I cried out to God: “God, heal my daughter.”

At long last, she was soothed and fell back asleep. I left her in her crib and returned to my own bed, where I continued to cry out to God until I fell asleep myself.

And I slept. Two hours, three, four.

I roused, thinking surely my overtiredness had kept me from hearing Tirzah Mae’s screams. I heard her rustling in her crib – and nothing more.

I fell back asleep.

Six hours after she had fallen asleep, she awoke and fussed for her mother.

The next night, she slept another five to six hours. And the next. She’s slept wonderfully since Tuesday.

And I turn, at the end of myself, wondering why I waited so long to turn to God.

Why is it that I only turn to Him after I’ve diagnosed her myself, after I’ve turned to the internet, after I’ve turned to the doctor, after the medication fails? Why did I wait until my only other resort was hocus-pocus?

It’s frightening, how slowly I turn to the one who knows all things, who alone has the power to change all circumstances.

It’s humbling, how sinful I am even in turning to Christ.

But it’s so amazing, how God’s mercy doesn’t punish me for waiting to turn to Him. Instead, He graciously grants my daughter (and myself) sleep.

Just one more example of the gospel at work: God, graciously giving good gifts to those who don’t deserve it, forgiving those who turn aside so often to self-reliant idolatry.

Thank you, Lord, for bringing me to the end of myself. Thank you, Lord, for your patience with my delay. Thank you for reminding me again how it is only in you that I live and move and have my being. May I turn aside from self-idolatry and ever more quickly turn to you, the source of all life.


Book Review: Pioneer Girl by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Who is not familiar with little Laura Ingalls, who lived in a series of little houses? Whose childhood memories don’t include either the series of “Little House” books or the spin-off television series “Little House on the Prairie”?

Our books were blue-clad paperbacks illustrated by Garth Williams. My sister and I adored them, moving the books back and forth through the narrow strip of light shining into our room from the hall light as we read illicitly after bedtime. We loved them so much the spines started breaking and the pages got torn. Occasionally, we’d end up having to wait for the other to finish a volume so we could read it. Eventually, we’d check them out of the library to ensure that there’d always be a copy for both of us. Years later, I’d remember the insufficiency of just one set and would stockpile volumes as I found them at used stores, garage sales, and the library book sale. I left a set at my parents and still have two in my own home.

Laura’s story is a part of my story.

As a child, I was never too much interested in how much of the story was true and how much was invented. I didn’t worry about whether Laura was its true author or whether her daughter Rose wrote her mother’s stories for her. The important thing was that the story was authentic, not that it was true.

Honestly, although I’ve read a fair number of biographies of Wilder and have heard some of the theories, I’ve still never been much concerned with where the Little House books deviate from factual occurences. The books are sold as fiction – I don’t expect them to be completely accurate.

But I was curious when Laura’s heretofore unpublished autobiography Pioneer Girl was published last year. I was eager to hear Laura’s story from an adult perspective, a nonfiction take instead of a fictionalized version, in Laura’s own words instead of mediated by Rose. Having heard that the book was a large one, I figured I’d wait until the holds died down at the library (I don’t relish being forced to finish a book in 14 days, as I would if I requested it while it was new.) But then I read Janet’s review and knew I wanted to read it ASAP. I searched on Amazon, figuring I’d just buy it for myself – but the price put me into shock and I placed a request at my library anyway.

I shouldn’t have been worried about the time. When my request came through, I devoured the 370 pages in 3 days.

If I had been worried that Rose had written the novels for her mother, I wouldn’t be anymore. Laura’s voice is the same. If I had been worried that the novels took liberties with the facts, I wouldn’t be anymore. The story is recognizable from one version to the next. Yes, Laura abbreviated episodes, combined people, and rearranged the timeline somewhat in her novels (as well as leaving out a particularly dark year of the family’s life) – but the episodes are unchanged in essence.

Just the autobiography is worthwhile for fans of the “Little House” series. Reading this adult proto-version of Laura’s story adds depth and flavor to the novels we read as children. But the autobiography isn’t all this volume contains. This was published as an “annotated” autobiography, with at least as many words worth of footnotes as words of autobiography. The editor has commented on the different versions of the stories, on corroborating genealogical and census data, on sources of referenced songs or poems or books.

This is a treasure-trove for Little House fans – a glimpse into how the adult Laura viewed and interpreted her childhood, into how Laura’s authorial voice grew throughout the writing of different editions of Pioneer Girl and into the Little House books, into the reality of pioneer life. Fans should definitely read it.


Rating: 4 stars
Category: Autobiography with extensive historical annotations
Synopsis: Laura Ingalls Wilder’s autobiography, written for adults, that she later adapted into the famous “Little House” series for children. This autobiography comes with meticulously researched historical annotations from Pamela Smith Hill of the South Dakota Historical Society.
Recommendation: Fans of Laura Ingalls Wilder should definitely read this. If “Little House” didn’t play a role in your childhood, skip this (but get familiar with the Little House books by all means!)