bekahcubed

Categories 2014, B3RD, Family & Friends

Freezing your bum off and other weight loss strategies

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I’m freezing my bum off.

You’ve heard the phrase, right?

But what exactly does it mean? Is it supposed to be a reference to frostbite, a condition in which one literally freezes off parts of one’s body?

Probably not. My bet is that it has no grounding in thought.

It’s one of those things like “knocked my socks off”, silly and meaningless.

But imagine that you could actually freeze your bum off, like you would freeze off a wart. Imagine a simple outpatient procedure in which a doctor delicately freeze’s ones bum and then shaves it off like one whittles a piece of wood.

I’m sure that would be a popular procedure.

Alternately, imagine you could kiss a belly and make it go away–like you kiss a boo-boo to make it go away.

Now that would be a popular procedure.

Instead, we’re left with a much less glamorous and much more labor-intense process: learning to alter our behavior.

My marriage to Daniel has altered his behavior in a way that has not been friendly to his waistline. I’ve disrupted his schedule such that his once-regular runs have become a thing of the past and his once uber-low-calorie lunches (of lettuce salad) have turned to scrumptious (not-quite-so-low-calorie) leftovers.

So, in an effort to be a good wife this year and to support Daniel’s weight control efforts, I’ve decided to change MY behavior.

Among my Tier 1 objectives? Be a good wife.

Goals to earn points include running with Daniel (more points for longer spurts of running) and preparing more vegetables.

I can’t freeze Daniel’s bum off. Nor can I kiss his belly and make it go away. But I can help to make our home an environment that is more friendly to his goals.

For now, that’s preparing two vegetables instead of one with each meal–which means the overall calories of a plate full of food goes down without depriving him of food (a la Volumetrics and MyPlate.)

It’s dishing up our plates in the kitchen and putting away the next day’s lunches simultaneously–meaning we don’t keep eating just because the food is there on the table.

It’s using those divided tupperware for Daniel’s lunches, so he has a vegetable along with the main dish.

It’s keeping the fruit bowl stocked with fruit that Daniel can take to work for snacks instead of relying on the vending machine for when he can’t concentrate due to low blood sugars.

And it’s getting myself fit so I can run with him. Sigh.

Freezing his bum off would be easier than THAT.

Just to clarify: I have NOT made a goal to change my husband this year. Rather, I value him and his goal of a healthy weight and want to support him in this. These changes are NOT things that I am imposing upon him, but things we have discussed and have determined to be ways that I can help him reach his goals.

Categories Uncategorized

Crazy Car Lady

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I was trying to figure out what the gal in the car in front of me was doing today.

My best guesses?

Either she was a cell-phone driver who communicates entirely by sign language
or she was a charismatic getting some prayer time in.

I’m not gonna judge. I’ve been known to do some pretty crazy things while driving.

Still, I really wish I knew what had her hands moving with such animated gestures.

Have you ever seen someone doing something unusual while driving and wondered what exactly they were up to? What’s the craziest thing you’ve done while driving?

Categories Homemaking

Resolved: To have people over more often so our house will stay clean

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It’s not that our house is particularly messy–

But who am I kidding?

Our house is pretty messy.

What I’m trying to say is that we don’t live in squalor.

Almost every day, we eat homemade meals prepared and served on clean dishes. Every morning, we pull clean clothes from our closets and dresser drawers. Every night, we pull down the covers on a made bed and slip between sheets that haven’t been slept on for more than a week.

But our home bears the impact of daily living, and neither Daniel nor I are the neatest people in the world.

We have stacks of books and magazines on our nightstands, stacks of mail and packaging stacked on our table, and stacks of dirty dishes next to our sink. The living room couches are strewn with unfolded blankets, the floor beneath them strewn with shoes left behind where I took them off after I got home from work, the table beside them strewn with used mugs from the tea I drank with my books in the evenings.

And because there are piles of stuff all over the surfaces and floors, surfaces are rarely dusted and floors rarely swept. Which means our house is a mess.

While I have grandiose dreams of a household system to keep the house always spotless, our actual housecleaning system goes like this:

1) Invite someone over for dinner
2) Spend the day before eliminating piles and cleaning underneath them
3) Have people over for dinner
4) Let the dishes from having people over start the next pile of uncleanliness, which continues to grow until…
5) We invite someone over for dinner again

That’s not to say that I’m not working on establishing habits to control the clutter and uncleanliness. But we are also trying to make a habit of inviting people over more often–at least in part so we can keep the house clean.

Categories Family & Friends

Ooey-Gooey, Lovey-Dovey Stuff

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As I was reading through my Facebook newsfeed (well, actually, reading notifications from my sisters-in-law), I realized an interesting phenomenon:

My sisters-in-law post ooey-gooey, lovey-dovey stuff about their children ALL the time.

And people LIKE it.

*I* like it.

An adorable picture of Little Sis, accompanied by the text “Nothing is sweeter than ending the day with baby snuggles” gets 5 likes (as of now).

I can imagine the kind of reactions I’d get if I posted a picture of my (adorable) husband, accompanied by the text “Nothing is sweeter than ending the day with hubby snuggles.”

If I got likes, they’d be in the “you’re so silly” category. I’d probably be more likely to get “Eeww” or “Get a room” in response.

Why is it that we can say all sorts of ooey-gooey, lovey-dovey stuff about babies and no one blinks an eye, but if we were to act as obsessed with our husbands as we are with our children we’d be weirdos?

I don’t really have any answer to that question, nor do I really need an answer to that question (although you’re more than welcome to give your own theories)–but it was a thought I had.

Categories Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday: A New Year

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Thankful Thursday banner

Come every new year, I can’t help but think of Anne’s comment that “Tomorrow is a new day – with no mistakes in it.”

Undoubtedly, I have already made myriads of mistakes in this New Year. But there is a sense in which a New Year offers a new start-an opportunity to figuratively reset the balance, to not be behind anymore, to start new things.

This week I’m thankful…

…for A “Gold Membership” at the library
Wichita’s public library charges $0.25 for holds – unless you’re a gold card carrier. In that case, you can hold for free. I took advantage of my new gold card status to nab a copy of L.M. Montgomery’s The Blue Castle – and my husband was so kind as to pick it up for me before the library closed on New Year’s Eve. So I’m all set to join in with the Lucy Maud Montgomery Reading Challenge and Reading to Know Classic Book Club this year. Yipee!

…for A partner in reading
Sometime last month, Daniel asked me if I would finish the Hunger Games trilogy and if I would please also read Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game so he could show me the movies. I dutifully read Ender’s Game (which was far from a trial), and will get to the rest of the Hunger Games sometime here :-) Daniel also asked me if there were any books I particularly wanted him to read. I didn’t have any in particular – and told him so. But yesterday, as I dramatically announced that “my life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes” (not to worry – this was silliness, not depression, talking), I realized that there was one series I’d at least like him to be familiar with. I said maybe he should watch the movies with me. Daniel asked why he shouldn’t just read the books? He pooh-poohed my suggestion that he might find them too girly and got started right off. “Is this whole series this funny?” he asked me after the first chapter. It’s nice to have a partner in reading.

…for a week with our families
I managed to get the entire week of Christmas off work so Daniel and I headed up to Lincoln for a relaxing Christmas with our families. It was wonderful to veg with our families while working on last minute Christmas presents for the kids (Debbie–Mom and Dad have presents for the girls that they’re going to bring up when they come.) There weren’t as many people home for the holidays as at other times, but I think that ended up making the time we had more restful and allowed for better quality time with the people who were there.

…for coming home
As wonderful as it was to spend time with our families, it was wonderful to return home, to sleep in our own bed, to select clothing from my entire closet. This time was especially nice because I got New Year’s Day off as well – so I could recover from being gone instead of having to jump back into work routines with both feet.

…for the first project of the New Year completed
Since New Year “resets” the balance, I’m calling redoing the silicone seams in our tub a “+1” instead of a long overdue project. We’d initially talked of doing it before we got married (In fact, Daniel may have said something like “I have to get that silicone redone before you can bathe in that tub.”) But, the project kept getting put off for one reason or another. We needed some backer rod to fill the large gap. We needed to remove the old mildewed silicone (a much larger task than we’d initially thought). We needed to leave it a while before we could use the shower again (which meant it needed to be sometime when we could take the task from start to finish without showering-it turned out being around 48 hours.) Daniel’s back went out of whack. But we finally got it done–and it looks great! (Also, the backer rod means there’s no gap to harbor moisture and it’s much more easily cleanable – which means we may be able to kick the mildew once and for all.)

…for plans for quilting get-togethers
It was a quick Facebook exchange. She said I needed to move back to Lincoln so we could quilt together again. I suggested a quilting weekend sometime. My sister suggested a day a couple weeks out. I vetoed that (since I already have been to Lincoln twice in the last two months) and suggested another weekend, a couple months out. My sister confirmed that’d work. My quilting-buddy-turned-sister-in-law confirmed that’d work. I added it to my calendar. It’s nice to already have plans for the next time with the girls.

Last year was a wonderful year, a hard year, a year of many changes. I don’t know what this next year will bring. It will likely have joys and sorrows and changes. But I do have certainty for this New Year. I know that God will be faithful, that He will reveal Himself still more, that He will conform me into His image. So I am excited and thankful for this newest year God has given us.

May He be glorified in this New Year.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.””
~Lamentations 3:22-24 (ESV)

Categories 2014

2014 Goal Game

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Being goal oriented is one of my greatest strengths. It means I get a lot accomplished, I have focus, and I am less likely to waste time.

Being goal oriented is one of my greatest weaknesses. It means I can lose track of relationships, I forget to take care of my needs, and I get upset with myself for not accomplishing everything I set out to do.

The last item, in particular, frustrates my husband. When I started thinking what my goals would be for 2014, I asked him what he thought of my proposed goals. He told me he was fine with me working on any of the above, but reminded me that failing to complete the list of goals I’d suggested does NOT mean that I’m a failure. He wanted me to start out not too committed to accomplishment at all costs.

I acknowledged his concerns and mentioned how I’d already been tiering the goals in my mind – these certain ones were very important to me, the other ones not so much.

Hearing me explain this, he suggested that my goals sounded a little like a game – with different levels of achievement.

The seed that he planted took root and I began gamifying my 2014 goals.

I ended up with three tiers of broad objectives. Tier one objectives are most important to me (example: establish a church home). Tier 2 objectives are important, but less so (example: make home improvements). Tier 3 objectives are things that I think would be nice or fun but that I’m not super committed to accomplishing (example: cook recipes from the One – Pot cookbook I own).

Within each broad objective, I have a number of more qualitative goals that are then ranked according to difficulty. I have platinum goals, gold goals, silver goals, and bronze goals. Each type of goal gives a different number of points. Platinum goals are worth 4 points, Gold are worth 3, silver 2, and bronze 1 – except that those values are cubed for Tier 1 goals and squared for Tier 2.

In this way, I have a flexible list of things is like to accomplish and a way to pat myself on the back for accomplishing them – but no easy way to get upset with myself for NOT accomplishing them. It’s genius really.

I’m geared up and ready to play.

Categories Uncategorized

Singing through life’s trials

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In our preaching through Ephesians, our pastor preached today on the importance of singing from Ephesians 5:15-21.

He spoke of how our singing is directed in two directions: to others (addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs) and to God (singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart.)

Daniel and I discussed the sermon on our way home, and I was reminded of the great grace of God in giving me a husband who sing to me with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. When I’m inconsolable and he doesn’t know what to say, oftentimes, he’ll just begin to sing:

“Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost”

I don’t always appreciate it in the moment. Sometimes I resent his focusing on God when I want him to be focusing on me. But once I stop, I thank God for a man who always sets the glory of God before my eyes–and who sings to me in (heretofore unwitting) obedience to Paul’s teaching.

Just now, I was blessed as I saw Barbara H’s post on new lyrics to “So Send I You.”

Barbara wasn’t physically singing to me, but she was as she recounted the story behind the hymn and how the hymn-writer rewrote her lyrics later in life.

The second verse of the new lyrics brought me such edification:

“So send I you-my strength to know in weakness,
My joy in grief, my perfect peace in pain,
To prove My power, My grace, My promised presence-
So send I you, eternal fruit to gain.”

We must acknowledge that our call involves weakness, grief, and pain. But we are not called to suffering for suffering’s sake. This pain is not the end result. I am sent not simply to be weak, but to know God’s strength in weakness. I am sent not simply to experience grief but to know God’s joy in grief. I am sent not to have pain, but to know God’s peace in pain. Ultimately, my suffering is that I may know Christ and that I may show Christ.

In which case, my suffering is worth it.

May I know Him and show Him still better with every passing day.

And thank you, Barbara, for singing truth today.

Categories Reflections

I am not ALWAYS like this

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Just when it seems like I might be managing better, I crash.

Just when I feel like I’m actually happy some of the time–then I cry for two hours in the morning and barely make it through work and am sad all weekend long when I should be happy and I wake up sad every morning afterward and don’t get anything accomplished at all.

It’s then that I start to think the self-defeating thought that I’ll never get over this, that depression will always be my life, that depression will make me a failure as a wife, as a homemaker, someday as a mother (“Infants of depressed mothers, although competent learners, fail to learn in response to their own mother’s infant-directed speech.” From a reference at ParentingScience.com).

So, just for the record, I’m going to make some notes from today to prove to future self-defeating Rebekah that even when I’m depressed I am not ALWAYS like that.

I do not ALWAYS stay in bed…this morning I got up and took a shower and went to work.

I do not ALWAYS forget to make appointments while the doctor’s office is open…today I called not once but three times during regular business hours to make and reschedule an appointment.

I do not ALWAYS cry between clients at work…today I moved straight from client to client for almost four hours without a single break for crying.

I do not ALWAYS crawl into bed and play sudoku on my phone during lunch break…today I hung some laundry, folded a load, and started a new load.

I do not ALWAYS leave my husband to either make something himself or eat cereal in evenings after tough days at work…today I made him supper before class, even though it’s a Tuesday.

I do not ALWAYS not get up again once I’ve sat down in the evening…tonight I got back up and washed dishes, swept the floor, changed the bedsheets, hung another load of laundry, and put away the rest of the laundry.

I do not ALWAYS let the dishes pile up…today I cleaned all the dishes I made today plus a few extra.

I doubt many days will be as productive as today.

Some days I will stay in bed far longer than I wish I had. Some days I will forget to make a doctor’s appointment during business hours and will have to wait until the next day–and then the next and the next. Some days I will cry between clients at work. Some days I will crawl into bed and play sudoku on my phone during lunch break. Some days I will leave my husband to either make something himself or eat cereal in evenings after tough days at work. Some days I will not get up again once I’ve sat down in the evening. Some days I will let the dishes pile up.

But not ALWAYS.

Instead, another always should fill my heart.

In those days, I must remember that Jesus has promised: “…behold, I am with you ALWAYS, to the end of the age.” (Matt 28:20 ESV)

In those days, I must remember that in Jesus, it is ALWAYS “Yes” and I must utter “Amen” (II Cor 1:19-20 ESV).

In those days, I must remember that in Christ God “ALWAYS leads us
in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of Him everywhere.” (II Cor 2:14 ESV)

In those days, I must remember that Christ, my High Priest, “ALWAYS lives to make intercession for [me].” (Heb 7:25 ESV)

And, in response, I must “rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS.” (Phil 4:4 ESV)

Categories Everyday Life

Wondering at Overpasses

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My Grandma lived in Bellevue, Nebraska–home of the gigantic Offutt Air Force base and suburb to Omaha. Omaha-Bellevue was the Big City.

We traveled there at least a half dozen times a year, for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas and for each cluster of birthdays (January, March, July, and October). A couple times a year we’d make the trip from Grandma’s house to Omaha’s famous Henry Dorley Zoo (or Henry Dorky, as we called it.)

The trip between Grandma’s and the Zoo (“Goin’ to the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo, Zoo, the Zoo, Zoo, Zoo, Zoo–beeps and bomps and squeaks and squanks” we’d sing) was fast, on one or the other of the interstate highways running through and across and around Omaha.

But every time we came to a certain juncture, where two or three of those massive interstates met, I’d stop my singing and wonder at the “bridges”.

There were dozens of them, it seemed to me, curving and crossing one another. It was a jumble of engineering, one concrete structure arcing above the next. It was strangely exhilarating–and scary, at the same time. Drivers on the bottom road could have not one but three or four different cars atop them. Drivers on the top could look down and see dozens or even hundreds of cars driving their different directions.

It was wonderful.

I thought of the bridges this morning, as I arced across multiple off ramps getting onto Kellogg from I-135 after taking Daniel to work for a 6 am conference call with France.

Will my children wonder at the “bridges” as I did?

Or will they be calloused city-dwellers, inured to the wonders of human engineering, the miracle of layering human upon human driving at inhuman speeds?

Categories Uncategorized

Legalize Hitmen

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Because blogging something is better than blogging nothing, right?

I read this article today and was bowled over:

“Murder for hire is an uncomfortable subject, and I personally could never order a hit. The better course is to avoid unwanted marriage in the first place. Yet this is not a decision that anyone else can make for a woman. It is her marriage; only she can decide when it must end.”

You really should read the rest.