Thankful Thursday

I am thankful. Yes. I am.

Sometimes though, I’m busy enough or tired enough or whatever else enough that I forget to express it.

Which is why I have Thankful Thursday, after all. So long as I choose to do it.

Yes, I am thankful.

This week, I’m thankful…

…for quilting with Jo
It’s been forever since we just sat and talked, forever since we had our projects splayed out in front of us. So what if I didn’t get much sleep this weekend? I had a wonderful weekend with one of my best friends.

…for a crabby Little Miss
Really? I’m thankful for her crabbiness? Sort of. I’m thankful that God loves humanity enough to bring child after fallen child into the world. At nine months old, the Little Miss is an expert manipulator, doing what it takes to get her way. I was just like her and so were you. All of us, fallen from the day we were born. But God loved us despite our sin and paid the punishment for every manipulative tear.

…for work
God created work. He called man and woman both to it. Work is good. Even when I don’t like it. Even when I’m exhausted. He gave me work, and that is good. I will work at it heartily–and be thankful that God, in His wisdom, gave me such a work as this.

…for affirmation
Sometimes I feel absolutely boring, dried up, completely lacking in everything. Sometimes as in lately. I haven’t blogged much. I haven’t spent much time with my Columbus friends. I haven’t done much of anything except work (and drive to work in Grand Island). But then someone (Carrie) tells me I’m interesting–and my heart overflows. Maybe there still is something here. Thank you, Carrie–and thank you, Lord, for just what I needed to hear just now.

Yes, I am thankful

All through college, I cringed at the inevitable Monday question “What did you do this weekend?” While my peers were road-tripping to a baseball game or a football game or to ski in Colorado, I was being boring. Inevitably, my answer was “I worked. I read. I went to church. I hung out with my family.” That’s what I did over the weekends when I was a student.

This last weekend, though, I enjoyed one of those crazy college-like road trips, traveling to the West Slope of the Rockies in Colorado for a friend’s wedding.

This week I’m thankful…

…for wise advice
Anna encouraged me to work in the afternoon and let the girls pick me up from Grand Island, saving me 1 1/2 of travel time. It was wonderful.

…for the W’s van
The W’s “borrowed” us their van for our weekend trip–and it was lovely to stretch our legs out.

…for Holiday Inn Hilarity
We had plenty of fun that first night–and not a little embarrassment. Men around a non-existent bar, a workout room that looked bigger than it was, a swimming pool but no bathing suit, spilled Fruit Loops and military men. We had fun.

…for beautiful views
The drive from Denver to Montrose on Highway 50 was awe-inspiring. “How can anyone say there is no God?” became our oft-repeated refrain.

…for the Flamenco room
Our bed and breakfast was, um, interesting. But we had fun with it–and it was wonderful to have a place near the action. We met Grandpa (a Husker fan from Wyoming who gave us a little advice for Coach Pelini) and Step-Grandma while still at the B&B–and ended up spending not a little time with them over the weekend.

…an unexpectedly gorgeous gorge
See pictures and description here

…for something to do
When we set out, Ruth was the only one with an official job at the wedding (photographer). By the time the rehearsal dinner was done though, we’d all picked up jobs to do: Bout/corsage pinning, cake cutting, and on-the-spot orchestration. I’m not sure about the others, but I felt right at home once I had a job to do.

…for the gas station guy
For the record, we didn’t go to Colorado to pick up men (or even to watch for them). And we didn’t pick up any men–but we did see some. We had some rather shocking encounters. For instance, there was the rather good looking guy at the gas station who walked right up to our window to ask us if we could back up–or, maybe we didn’t need to back up–oh wait–well, thanks anyway. And then there was the teenager in a truck with a fully loaded gun rack who gave us that “head tip” thing as we were driving along (Um, honey? Don’t go after older women like that.) We had plenty of laughs over the various male sightings we had (Like that? I speak of them as though they’re wild animals seen unexpectedly. But sometimes that’s how they seem.)

…for safety through the snow
It started snowing Saturday night and we chose to start our drive back that evening lest we be snowed in. It was pretty clear until Rifle, but then the weather got bad quickly. I’m thankful Anna had the wisdom to know when to call it quits–and the level head and sharp reflexes to get us through the slick mountain passes on Sunday morning.

…for talking things out
I think you might call what we had on our drive an argument, maybe even a fight. It was definitely disagreement. But it was an opportunity for all of us to speak from the heart, to listen to one another, to seek to come to a compromise. It wasn’t fun, but it was good.

All in all, it was a wonderful getaway. I’m so thankful that God brought me into community with the ladies I traveled with, that He brought Laurie into our lives and enabled us to go to her wedding. God has been good to us, very good.

If someone asked me, anytime in the last couple of months, to describe myself in one word, that word might very well have been “insufficient”.

I’ve had a stressful couple of months, with insufficient hours in the day to do the work I need to do, insufficient hours of sleep in the night to have the energy or will to do what I need to do.

I’ve been late to work and stayed even later. I’ve been late to Sunday School and bawled through church for having let my students down. I’ve had to drop my systematic theology class because I have to sleep sometime. I’ve been bad company for my friends and family because I just don’t have any heart left in me.

I’ve been insufficient.

And God reminds me through the verses I’ve been insufficient to memorize…

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and do not lean on your own understanding
In all your ways, acknowledge Him
And He will make straight your paths
Do not be wise in your own eyes
Fear the Lord, and turn away from evil
It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones
Honor the Lord with your wealth
and with the firstfruits of all your produce
Then your barns will be filled with plenty
and your vats will be bursting with wine.
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline
or be weary of His reproof
for the Lord reproves him whom He loves
as a father the son in whom he delights.”
~Proverbs 3:5-12

God is sufficient…trust Him, Rebekah.

God is wise…fear Him, Rebekah.

God is the Healer…put your heart in His hands, Rebekah.

God owns the cattle on a thousand hills…place your possessions in His keeping, Rebekah.

God’s discipline is His delight…let God delight in you, Rebekah.

And so, I break under the load of my insufficiency. I break…disappointed and a disappointment to others. I break…restless and unable to grant rest to others. I break…overburdened by life.

And Jesus says…

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
~Matthew 11:28-30

So I will choose to trust, to acknowledge, to fear, to honor, to come, to take up His yoke and learn.

And when He says…

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
~Philippians 4:6-7

…I will say, Thank you, Lord, that you are my sufficiency.

Sometimes knocks at your door means someone just hit your car parked on the street. Sometimes it means “Please call 911, a car across the street just burst into flames”. Sometimes it means there are high school football players trying to sell you something. (True stories all.)

But sometimes knocks at the door mean something else entirely. Sometimes they’re wonderful things, expected and unexpected.

This week I’m thankful…

…for the Nebraska Furniture Mart men knocking on my door to deliver my brand new deep freeze–which arrived precisely when it was supposed to, between 8 and 10 am on my birthday

…for opening my door to my little sister Grace, surprising me by coming up to visit for my birthday

…for hearing the doorbell and then my sister saying “Rebekah, you better come down here”–only to find that Brenda was here with a birthday crown especially for me

…for the door bursting open as my sisters and I were finishing supper–and Beth and Ruth coming in, bearing food to stock my new freezer with, and food to share

…for another knock, this time bringing Teresa and Joseph

…and another knock ushering Cathy inside

…and another knock announcing Jon’s arrival

…and still one more leading Landon and Kylee indoors

And those were only the knocks at the door–I haven’t even counted the sweet texts and Facebook messages.

It truly was a marvelous birthday–thanks to everyone for knocking yourself out to make it wonderful.

(And, finally, thanks to God–who gave me the day on which to celebrate, the friends with whom to celebrate, and a life so full I can’t contain it.)

I was doing my reading for Systematic Theology, contemplating common grace and the difference between common and saving grace, when it hit me.

Common grace, the undeserved blessings God bestows on all men, means that for the unbeliever, this life on earth is as good as it’ll ever get.

Saving grace, the undeserved blessing of salvation bestowed upon those who believe, means that for the believer, this life on earth is as bad as it’ll ever get.

What a sobering and joyful reality.

This week I’m thankful…

…for air in my lungs–and in those of my unbelieving neighbors and coworkers

…for medicine from the pharmacy, prepared by unbelieving hands

…for books, written by unbelieving minds

…for music, the expression of unbelieving souls (beautiful nevertheless)

…for cars and gasoline, brainchild and craft of myriads of unbelieving men

…for computers and blog platforms, built and sustained by unbelievers

…for God, who in His infinite grace made me beneficiary of both common and saving grace

All of it undeserved, thousands of blessings unmerited.

Why am I not struck dead on the spot? Why do subatomic particles repel and attract in just the right measure? Why does the universe continue holding together? Why does art and science flourish?

Why do I have hope for a life beyond this world?

Certainly not because of me.

I am thankful for God’s grace, poured out on His merit alone.

…for

I seem to go through seasons where I spend a lot of time blogging, and other seasons where I spend a lot of time with people and have less time for blogging. This is good, I think.

This past week has been just packed with people–and I’m so thankful to God for placing me in and amongst such wonderful believers who regularly encourage me to walk worthy of the calling.

This week I’m thankful…

…to be able to support my friend Beth by watching the Flying Faithful play basketball

…for conversation and laughter on the dining room floor following a “trunk show”

…for pancake men and comfortable conversation with my sister

…for a newer friend and a couple old ones and supper in a rather sketch Mexican joint

…for a hastily assembled Sunday meal and conversation moving into the living room after lunch

…for FLOCK crashers and flock-belongers staying after to discuss and debate

…for long telephone conversations with my folks and encouragement to continue on

…for transparent testimony time with the girls who are praying for me and I for them.

And mostly, I’m thankful to the God who did not call me to a solitary existence, but into a body.

This week I’m thankful…

…that God is all-knowing

“God understands the way to it,
and he knows its place.
For he looks to the ends of the earth
and sees everything under the heavens.”
~Job 28:23-24

…that God is glorified in concealing things

“It is the glory of God to conceal things,
but the glory of kings is to search things out.”
~Proverbs 25:2

…that God is glorified when I examine concealed things.

“Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.”
~Acts 17:11

May I be a woman who diligently seeks to understand the mysteries of God, but who does it with humility and love, not shirking from tough things, but submitting every conflict to the wise and loving care of the one who knows all things and delights both to conceal and to reveal.

“But, as it is written,
‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him’—
these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God.”
~I Corinthians 2:9-10

Working with the elderly has a way of bringing life into focus.

It reminds us of our frailty, of the finiteness of our strength and vigor. It makes some of us fear growing old, others laugh about what kind of a cantankerous old person will be, still others eager for their own twilight years.

I know it has made me think both of the blessedness of my current youth–and my determination to be thankful and content both now and when my youth is gone.

Because there’s nothing worse than being unthankful for a gift when you have it only to be bitter once the gift is gone.

This week I’m thankful…

…for eyes that can see the subtitles on my tv screen.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. If I couldn’t read, I would be lost. But even should God take my eyesight (and I rather expect that, given my lineage of eye disorders), I will still choose to be thankful

…for ears that can hear the podcast being played from my MP3 player.

I’ve been storing up comments on what I’ve been listening to, intending to someday write posts on items as diverse as the laws of physics, Blaise Pascal’s wager, and dichotomy vs. trichotomy–all sparked by podcasts. I’m so thankful for how my ears have awakened my brain–and kept me awake–on my drives home after dark. But even should God take my hearing, I am thankful that there is a still small voice that can be heard without human ears.

…for a tongue that tastes the spicy heat of Buffalo Chicken Pizza and the sweetness of Ooey-Gooey Caramel Pumpkin Blondie Thingies.

One’s sense of taste diminishes as one ages. As one old lady told me today “It has no flavor and it’s too spicy.” I hated to tell her that the change in her perception of the food over the past three years probably hasn’t been as much about the food as it has been about her taste-buds. Yet even when my taste buds fail, I will be thankful that I can still taste and see that the Lord is good.

…for arms that can reach and bend and lift

I carry what seems like a half dozen bags, between my purse and my “travel bag” and my briefcase and sometimes a bag of books or whatnot. I’m so thankful that my (admittedly weak) arms have the strength to manage my daily activities. But even when my arms fail, I am thankful that there is One whose arms never fail, who holds me there in His unfailing arms.

…for feet that can walk

I’m a walker. I don’t like to talk on the phone if I can just walk down the hall and talk to you face to face. I’d rather not save my steps when carrying charts to a meeting–I’ll take as many trips (heavy-laden) as necessary to avoid having to use a cart. But even youths grow tired and weary. Even young men stumble and fall. But I am thankful that those who wait on the Lord will soar on wings like eagles–even when their legs can no longer hold them.

Here, in the dawn of my life, I will choose to cultivate thankfulness. And someday, when the twilight comes, I pray that I will be thankful in that as well.

Is anyone else sick and tired of hearing me talk about “state”?

Heaven knows I’m tired of talking about state.

But, in God’s great mercy, they are gone.

This first survey of the year is done.

This week I’m thankful…

…for state’s Fridays off
Yes, state takes Fridays off. Every Friday off. Do I mind? Sometimes. When I need a day to make sure I don’t get too terribly behind in my other buildings? Not at all.

…for a great play to see on Friday Night
Joshua performed the part of the guard in The Lincoln Community Playhouse’s “Twelve Angry Men.” It was a great show, very well-performed. If you’re in or around Lincoln, I recommend getting tickets–they’re playing again this weekend.

…for time with my brother(s)
I had a great time shopping with Tim (brother) and Steve (almost brother) this weekend–and taking them to The Egg and I to thank them for helping me pick out a tv.

…for kids paying attention
My Sunday School class has an on-again-off-again attention span. What with how tired I was this week, I was immensely grateful that this was one of their “on” weeks.

…for lunch with friends after church
Is it ridiculous to say that I’m people-starved when I only had four days out of town last week? Nevertheless, I felt like I hadn’t seen my peeps for forEVER. So I’m thankful for a great time after church with Anna, Ruth, Beth, Jon, and Kathy. (And appreciative for their humoring me with a game of Skip-Bo.)

…for a razor blade
Let’s just say that I spent some quantity time with a razor blade–leaving me with little time or quality for sleep that night. But trying to do the job without a razor blade? I can’t even imagine.

…for abundant mercies on the road
I probably should have gotten a hotel for an extra night, but I didn’t. I fell asleep on my drive home. No persons or objects were harmed. I am overwhelmingly thankful.

…for a day of catch up
I’m working from home today, allowing me to catch up on some vital at-home activities (can anyone say, “Thank you, Lord, for clean underwear?)

The other catch up isn’t quite so easy–catching up on work, sleep, housework, homework (for my systematic theology class), and relationships.

But at least state is finally done.

…that 2000 years ago, Jesus shouted “Done” and died
His “done” like my state “done” didn’t mean there wasn’t still more to come. But it was the down payment on the house, the signing of closing papers, the transfer of the deed. Jesus’ “done” is what gives me the strength to keep going.

Last Thursday, the long awaited state-surveyors arrived.

I was thrilled that they left at a decent hour, allowing me (some) time to get to Lincoln in time for Gracie’s show choir concert. I made it by the middle of the first song (although I did have to break out the inhaler to get my breathing under control after my mad sprint up the school hill.)

This week has been a rather odd one, what with staying at a hotel in Grand Island and having state there every day.

This week I’m thankful…

…that I made it to Grace’s concert
Gracie did a fantastic job with her solo and looked wonderful in her glittery duds.

…that state takes MLK Jr. Day off
Their day off meant I got to spend Monday in one of my other facilities (the one I’m usually in three days a week), making sure I don’t get too far behind there.

…for a celebration of Hazel’s life (and a veritable old church reunion.)
Hazel was a special lady who touched many lives. I was proud to stand with so many old friends and celebrate her exodus into glory.

…for state leaving at a decent hour every single day
I’m used to staying in the facility from a half hour before breakfast is served to a half hour after supper is served. These surveyors have taken off by five every evening.

…for some productive trouble-shooting during the long wait that can be state
A dietitian’s work during state survey comes in fits and spurts. We’re crazy busy in the lead up to meal service and directly after service–and don’t necessarily have much to do at all during the in-between times. Myself and my consultant dietitian (with our dietary manager’s input, of course) were able to come up with what we think is a good plan for long-term staffing.

…for residents that make me smile
Some residents can be definite characters, but I love them. I love the happy announcements of some: “Rebekah, I lost weight this week!” or “I followed that advice you gave me and cut out snacking and put LOTS of vegetables on my Subway sandwich–and I think it’s working!” I love the compliments of others: “You do a good job” or “That bean soup was excellent” or even “Thanks for switching that snack for me.” My favorite is the one I received during lunch service, though: “I hope state sticks around for a long time, ’cause I like having you around.” I appreciate the sentiment, although I can’t help vigorously hoping the opposite.

…for finally figuring out how to turn on the heat in my hotel room
The unit had a little tester button thing on its power cord (like you see on a hairdryer). Once I figured out that that had been tripped, I got heat immediately. Unfortunately, my room reached 60 degrees before I figured it out (on morning #2 of my stay). Now, though, I’m nice and toasty.

…for being able to go HOME after state leaves today
It’s been interesting making my home in a hotel this week, but I’m still a real homebody at heart. I’m eager to be home in my own bed, with my books all about me, my fridge stocked full, and my craft supplies ready for whenever a yen hits.